This is a one shot with full of flashbacks -_- I was just bored so uhhm yeah! this is not much 

 

 

Kwon Yuri Dating Oh Seung Hwan . . . .  SM confirmed their relationship had been for  4 months already

 

“Unnie! Your photoshoot wa. . . .” Krystal was running towards her sister who was seated at the chair while reading something from her phone, Jessica just finished her photoshoot for the Avengers 2 concept. . . . . As Krystal slowed her phase  to walk towards  her sister she saw a lone tear slowly streaming down form her left eye as she was just staring blankly at the phone screen like she was lost “. . . . . Unnie what’s wrong?” Jessica on the other hand didn’t choose to ignore her sister but she’s just too occupied to even process what Krystal was saying for that moment there is only one thing on her mind: Kwon Yuri

 

 

Jessica’s POV

I’m totally lost. . . . . . or I totally lost her? I’m too stupid to even believe that she will wait for me, when all that I ever did was to hurt her, I thought hurting her will lessen what she will feel because she will be used to it. . . . . . that she will be numb , I thought hurting her is also away for me to move on, am I selfish? Because from the time that she was explaining I choose not to listen I just don’t want to hold back what’s inside my mind I don’t want to hear that she loves me so much as she was kneeling in front of me, I don’t want to hear that she is willing give up everything just to make me stay. . . . . Am I too selfish to shout at her if she’ll be the one who insisted not to listen? I want her to feel that even once I never cared for her that even once I NEVER LOVED HER. . . . . . . I think my acting skills had worked . . . . .because from that night I never even once heard about her, and from that night I thought I have succeeded, and at that night I heard the words that crushed me into piece . . . . . . . . . . . . 

 

 

 

FLASH BACK

 

“Sica! Please just listen, please baby” Yuri kneeled in front of me as I was about to reach out for the door, she wrapped her arms around my legs like she was hugging them tight “Sica, please just stay, I can’t live without you, I don’t want you to go, Baby I’m begging you” she’s still crying hard, crying so hard that I cant even bear it, she was catching her breath as I can also feel that my jeans are also soaked from her tears

 

“Yuri, please, just let go, just move on, you voted me out of the group remember? And now you’re telling me that you can’t live without me?! Are you trying to make a joke?!” again I yelled at her to make her realize that I was serious or more likely to make her believe all the lies that I am saying.

 

“No, I didn’t vot. . . . . “

 

“I’m done with your explanation Yuri! Now let go, before. . . .  before I call my boyfriend” the last few words was like a whisper but I know she heard it because as soon as I said it her grip loosen as she just sat silently at the floor crying silently, I was also hurt by my own words, Tyler is not my boyfriend, he never was but he was so persistent that some people mistaken us as a couple, but they don’t know that the only Kwon in my life is the one that I chose to leave the one that I chose to hurt.

 

Before I could close the door I heard her spoke but I never look back I just listened “I know you’re lying, I know you love me, you’re just blinded by your anger, but I won’t give up Sica I won’t give up because I Love You” that was all I need but a mix emotion was creeping me inside, it made me smile ,it made my heart flutter, but it also gave me fear a fear that she will swallow her words, but I know her I know my Seobang.  At that moment I said to myself that, that was all I wanted to know and someday I will get her back, back inside my arms without minding what the world will say. . . . . .

 

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

A week had pass and I was at my apartment and was relaxing because of all the work from B&E when I heard a knock on my door I lazily opened the door, but my laziness disappeared when I saw the face of  person who was hiding behind the bouquet of flowers, my heart began to betray me I hope she didn’t heard the beating of my heart, but I continued to stay rooted at my spot as I put my blank expression while trying so hard not to smile

 

“I just came here to congratulate you, I heard Blanc & Eclare was a success, and it won’t be without the great CEO, congratulations baby, I’m so proud of you” Yuri gave her most charming smile as she extend her arm to give me the flowers

 

This was what I have been waiting for, for her to greet me, for her to smile at me and tell me that she is proud of my work I was thinking of that to happen and I was sure it will take away all the stress and worries that the clothing line is giving me and I am not wrong, Yuri surely gave me comfort. . . but I know I shouldn’t give in “Is that it? Then you can leave, thank you for stopping by” I know again I was hurt by my own words, I was about to shot the door close when I saw it was blocked by Yuri’s foot

 

“wait! I’ll just put this here, if ever you want it, congratulations again, I’m happy for you Sica” again she gave me her smile but that time it was like a sad smile and she left the bouquet at the door step then left, I just watched her figure slowly fading

 

I closed the door leaving the flower where she just left it, but moments later my thoughts was just with her I was flying without any direction, so I have decided to get the bouquet, I’m thinking maybe the flower was not there anymore, but as I open the door the lovely bouquet is still there, I was just staring at it that was the time I appreciated it’s beauty I picked it up slowly but as I touched it, it gives the same warmth as Yuri’s that thought made me smile a smile that only she can give. . . . . . .

 

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

(Days weeks and it became a months to be exact, but Yuri still continue to give Jessica her full attention and support, she secretly will visit Jessica, give her gifts, she continue to show her love but Jessica continues to ignore and give Yuri a cold shoulder but the tan girl never gave up, she sometimes breakdown and cry in front of Jessica but she still continue to pursue Jessica to accept her again)

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

I was in my dressing room alone the staff was taking a break and I requested all of them to leave me alone for a second I was thinking things thru, Tyler asked me to marry him for a stronger foundation of our clothing line he was so desperate that it pushed my button, the irony is I want my surname to be Kwon but not with him but with her, of course I declined the offer but he said he will give me three months to think things thru. . . . . . . . I was in the middle of swimming in my own thoughts when the lights switched off

 

“ahhhhhhh!!!” I screamed my dolphin scream when I heard the door cracked open

 

The next thing I know I was inside a warm embrace and SHE was caressing the strands of my hair like the way that it will always calm me down  “shhhh, I’m here now, don’t be scared, I’m here” again without the lights and even if she didn’t speak I would always know it was her, I just closed my eyes and just for a moment I let myself free from the lies, away from myself saying that I don’t love her, this moment I don’t want to push her away I wish the lights wont turn on, because as it will happen I know I will let her go, I will push her away AGAIN.

 

The lights went of and I faked my expression that I was shocked to see her then immediately pushed her harshly “Why? The heck are you here?” I tried to shout but I failed, it came out warmer than colder

 

“I figured out that you were afraid of the dark especially when you’re alone and It happened that I was just in the lobby playing with m. . . . . . . . . . .“

 

“okay I get it, you can go now”  I avoided her eyes, that lonely eyes that was about to let a single tear flow but she stopped it with a smile, I saw it I was peaking at the corner of my eye

 

“hhhmm, take care Sica” she turned around and was about to leave when Tyler came in the room panting

 

“Jess, a-are you f-fine? I heard you scream” then she rushed to my direction and enveloped me into his protective hug, I then compared his and her hug then that’s the moment that I have concluded, I always belong to Yuri her embrace is different, it gives me love and warmth “I didn’t know that my future wife would be that loud, hehehehe” I didn’t expect to hear that and I don’t want HER to hear that but as I peak above Tyler’s shoulder, I saw Yuri’s back who was slowly walking towards the door, I want to stop her to tell her that it was all a lie and I would only saw Yes when she will be the one to ask that question.

 

 

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Months had pass since the last time I saw her but now Yuri didn’t even tried to contact me, I just heard about their activities through social media and I even saw their fancams and she looks fine, like nothing happened, like I was nothing, that feeling of fear creeped me again, the thought of her moving on made me happy and hurt, happy because she’s done from hurting herself and hurt because I still don’t want her to let go I still want her to be with me I still want her to love no one but me, yes now I know I’m selfish and I don’t care I just love her.

 

 Then one day. . . . . . .

  

 

I was in Hong Kong when a reporter asked me a question that I was surely shock

 

“SNSD’s Kwon Yuri’s in Hong Kong are you aware of that?”

 

She’s in Hong kong how great! “Oh! I didn’t know that but she’s in Hong kong?”

 

“yes, are you having a plan on meeting with her?”

 

Am I going to meet her? “I don’t know, I don’t think so”

 

That was all in my mind, I want her, I want to see her, I miss her I miss her so much,I only did this for her own good the moment when SM’s CEO told me that I was out of the group my whole world stopped, my whole life stopped but there is a certain person that I was thinking the most even if he told me that THE MEMBERS agreed on it, I know she was not one of the members who said yes, she told me how mad she was about it, she also told me that she even wanted to quit the group, that was the time that I have decided to end things with her, I don’t want to drag her with me, I have B&E to get off my mind with that issue, but Yuri doesn’t and I know how she loves all 8 of us I know at that time she was just blinded and I don’t want her to regret her decision that’s why I pushed her back to the girls and pushed her away from me, I did that to save her, I did that because I love her. . . . . . . . .

 

 

The press conference had just finished and I went straight to my hotel room to rest, to unwind while drinking red wine, the beautiful night view of Hong Kong can be seen I was savoring that view when a faint knock disturbed my peaceful moment. I thought that was my assistant but I was wrong it was the least person I have expected to come.

 

“Y-yuri?” I cant help but to look at her, she was warring a round glasses with a cap and a scarf that covered almost half of her face I guess it was a disguise.

 

“Hey, Jess” Jess? Did I heard it well? What happened to Sica? Or Baby Sica? Gosh! No, it’s just a name

 

I didn’t know that I have been staring at her face for quite some time “why are you here?” I decided to break the silence

 

“I’m here to know something” her eyes are pleading that I cant refuse so I stepped back and gave a space for her to enter my room.

 

I offered her a seat opposite to where I was seated earlier as I went to go get another wine glass for her, as I return I saw her staring at the window probably doing the same thing as I was doing earlier, watching the beautiful view while thinking deep, I guess that was what she was doing because she didn’t even notice that I was already in front of her seating, she only noticed me when I put the glass in front of her

 

“Uh! Thanks” she smiled a bit but that smile quickly died down and again silence occupied the room

 

Few moments later she still didn’t speak so I decided to break the ice “so? What do you want to talk about?” 

 

She shifted her gaze to me and again a small smile can be seen in her face. . . . . . it was a sad smile

 

She looked down to her glass of wine while caressing the curves of the glass “why did you do that?” I was taken aback at her question, I want to answer it but I still need time, because of that I didn’t noticed that I was just remained seated silently without answering her, until she spoke again “I love you so much Jessica, but now, now I’m starting to believe what you have said I’m starting to believe that you didn’t really love me, that all of it was just to fill your loneliness, why am I so pathetic?” she let out a little chuckle and it hit me again, she’s starting to believe my lies. I can see a tear dropped from her eye, again I just remained silent and continue to listen to her heart break “you know what? The first time I saw you I was scared, scared because of your fierce gaze, but never did I thought that those eyes that was always blank is the eyes that I always want to see, that eyes that I see was full of love, but maybe I was just lying to myself, those eyes never show love, it was blank all the time, I’m so in love with you that I made myself believe that you also love me the way I do, that the girl of my dreams also feels the same way as I do. . . .( Yuri lifted her gaze to meet with Jessica’s) . . . . .Remember the day when you said yes? I was the happiest person at that time, Hyoyeon even stopped me from doing that because it may hurt me and affect our bond, but I think I was so desperate that Hyo’s statement didn’t affect my vision to have you as my princess. . . . (again her gaze drop as well as her tears) . . . . . I treated you like a princess right? I gave you everything that I can right? Even once, did I ever failed to make you happy?. . . . . because now  . .now I think I never did gave a thing, now I know a  servant never deserves the princess” her last statement managed to break my heart and from that moment it was hard to breath, did I go too far?

 

A sound of a moved chair brought me back to my senses the next thing I knew she was standing up and was ready to go, I was still seating at my chair and I realized I screwed this up, I ran towards her and hugged her from behind “Yul, I’m sorry, I’m so so so so sorry, I- I. . didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just. . .”

 

She turned around and pulled me closer “hey, I should be sorry, for not making you happy, just be happy with your Kwon Seobang. . . “ I know who she was referring to and it’s not herself ‘Kwon Seobang’ I used to call her that, USED TO. . . .

 

“No, Yul, you’re my only Seobang Yul I. . . “

 

“Jessica listen to me, just this once , don’t ever do the same mistake that you did with our relationship, love him and take care of him cause. . . . . . . . . . . . . cause I’m over you anyway”

 

I don’t know but it feels like a hard slap or I’d rather have a slap than hearing her say that, those words, those that I wished it will only happen in dreams but now I did heard it and I was a big jerk

 

“No, I KNOW YOU’RE LYING! YOU’RE JUST LYING!!!! IT’S . . . . IT’S  ALL  A  LIE” why cant I just accept this! I made this happen, why cant I just let this go?

 

“Jess, please, just let go, just move on” those were also the exact words that I used at the time when she kneeled in front of me begging me to stay, but now I’m begging her to love me back.

 

END OF FLASH BACK

 

Yes at that moment I let her go, I let her leave, I didn’t hold her back because at the time that I asked her to do the same thing, she did what I asked she let me go but she didn’t fail to show me how much she love me, she set me free but courted me back we broke up but she’s still there when I needed her the most.

 

Now I’m here at my room, drinking myself out,  it’s been two days since that confirmation and I can’t sleep well I can’t think well, I’m surfing the net and still everything was about her and her Baymax boyfriend, pfft! Yuri looks way more handsome than him! My Seobang looks even sporty than him, If I ever see him I would seriously tell him that Yuri was mine first, she’s mine first and she will be my last, that’s right I’m going to get  my Seobang back, I know she still loves me

 

Maybe it’s because of the alcohol I want to throw all the things I see, I want to cry out loud so I just unfollowed everyone on Instagram and Weibo I mean whats the use of this? Psfftt! Then I suddenly thought of my sister the only person that I can lean on this time I need her so I called her to come in my room.

 

“UNNIE! Why are you drinking? Are you drunk?”

 

“Nope come here!” I patted a little space beside me in my bed as soon as she occupied it  I handed her a bottle of beer “drink with unnie”

 

She took the bottle but immediately put it on the side table “No, unnie I’m not going to drink. . . . unnie? You still love her huh?”

 

“yes, Soojung-ah! Unnie still loves her, so much” I smiled at the thoughts of her and our memories together I don’t know but the liquor helped me to reminisce more as it brings more memories with every gulp I made

 

“but Unnie, Yuri unnie, she. . . . . . she already moved on, why won’t you just do the same with Tyler oppa?”

 

“do you really like me to be with him?”

 

“no unnie, I don’t want him for you but, but it’s better than seeing you like this” I saw her eyes they were like Yuri’s it’s filled with sadness and worries at it looks at me it’s really true what they say Krystal really looks like Yuri “but if you really love her unnie, then don’t be like this, show her you deserve her than that guy, do your best at anything make her your inspiration, and when the moment comes tell her that you’ve succeed because of her, tell her she’s your inspiration because until now you still love her” Krystal words opened up my mind, Yuri wont come running back at me when I look like , I cant bring out the past by drinking myself out. Sometime I start to wonder am I the older one? Because Krystal always acts like she was the unnie, I always act while she always leads me to the right path

 

“thank you Soojung-ah! Thank you so much” I hugged her tight

 

“no problem unnie”

 

“soojung-ah, sleep with me“

 

“I will unnie, but take a shower first then brush your teeth”

 

“YAH!” I pushed her harshly and just went straight to the bathroom

 

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

Yuri’s POV

 

I had enough of our CEO she even used my friendship with Oh Seung Hwan for some political reason, I know he was paid for this, I just can’t say no to this I no to this aish! If only any of you know how hard my life is, but me and Seung Hwan Oppa decided to just go with the flow no strings attached just a pure show, a show to everyone so that’s why if we go out it doesn’t look like a date it’s more like of a hangout we don’t wear disguise, we don’t hide from the paparazzi we just have fun just friends nothing to worry, I recently hangout with Seung Hwan oppa since the incident with Jessica, but before that me and him are already good friends  

 

End Of POV

 

Today was Jessica’s  flight to Beijing and she think things through like what Krystal had said she will make Kwon Yuri her inspiration

 

“I’m going to get you back Seobang” then she slipped the ring from her finger and put it inside her wallet

 

“lets go miss Jung”

 

“hmmm, lets go”

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know you're disappointed. . . . . .I'M SO SORRY 

bye (hides)

 

#SpreadtheLove