Flashbacks

French

Your POV

My boyfriend is really sweet and considerate when it comes to me.

We had met on a clear summer day in middle school quickly becoming friends. We started off as friends since I only really wore my t-shirt and jeans and didn’t care too much about everything that’s girl.

 

One day in high school we were out shopping and I notice a cute pair of red converse, but I couldn’t buy them.

He had asked me if I liked them and I answered, “I love them, but I don’t have that kind of money to be spending if all my pay goes into school and food.”

He asked me, “What if I bought them for you?”

“That would be sweet, but you wouldn’t need to do that for me.”

A few days later was my birthday and Nam Joon had asked me if he could give me my present in private. I had agreed. He pulls out a small box and hands it to me. I stared at the box and I noticed that he was wearing new red converse.

I smiled at it and as I open the present I open it to a converse shoe box.

“What is this, Nam Joon?”

“Move the flap and you’ll see.”

I opened the box to see the pair of red converse I was looking at in the store and how they matched his shoes.

“What’s up with this Nam Joon?”

“It’s just I wanted to show you just how much I like you and I thought what a better idea than matching shoes.”

I chuckle as his cuteness apparently that’s not a good thing to do to a shy guy trying to confess his love.

I gently pull the shoes out and take mine off switching the two pairs, “I love them, Nam Joon.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I love the idea of matching with the guy that I like.”

“You like me?”

I nod my head as I leaned over to wrap my arms around him, “Of course I like you, why wouldn’t I?”

“So would you go out with me?” he asked shyly.

I tap my chin as I nod my head, “Of course. I’d love to go out with you.”

 

I look up at the ceiling missing his warmth even though he barely got to share a bed with me.

What I mean is from him wrapping his arms around me while we slept I told him we were too young to have worries about other things.

He seemed a bit down by that, but we’re only 21 years old.

I can’t wait to see him since I’m coming back home from France after 9 months.

Him and his new friends he made while being a trainee debuted and now are known as BTS and my Namjoon is known as Rap Monster.

I want to surprise him, but I don’t know how since our dating is a secret even from most of his band mates.

I smile as I look up and see the plane has landed.

“Yes,” I chant quietly.

I look at the couple next to me and I tell them, “I haven’t been home for a while and I’m excited to see everyone.”

They nod their heads at my French, “That must be nice.”

“It is. What brings you to Korea?”

“I’m here on business and my wife is here for a runway show that’s she’s holding.”

“That’s nice,” I look at my hand to see the promise ring that Namjoon had given me.

They follow my eyes and smile at me, “He must be a nice boy. Is he from Korea or France?”

“Korea. We were dating over 3 and a half years before I went to France.”

“That must have been nice.”

I nod my head, “Yeah… It’s just hard since we have to date in secret though.”

“He’s an idol…?”

I nod my head, “Yeah. Still he tries his hardest to be with me, but it’s really hard on me. So I kind of ran away to France using a trip as an excuse.”

The wife shakes her head, “That’s horrid.”

We get the clear to turn our phones on and when the wife does she gasps and says to her husband, “One of my models is being detained in France she’s under investigation for drugs. Where am I going to get another model from?”

She’s calling people and everyone is saying to bad that they can’t help.

When the plane lands I stand up careful of my slight height of 5ft and 7inches, a soft curved frame, what I’ve been told pretty face, long naturally dark brown hair, and brown eyes with green flecks.

I find her staring at me, “What?”

“Would you like to be a model?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I was wondering if you’d like to take the place of one of my models since I can’t find a replacement.”

I’m taken back before I slowly nod my head, “Sure… I’d love to try that out.”

The wife pulls out her card and hands it to me, “Call me when you can. I have my phone on me 24/7.”

I nod my head as I smile at them, “I’ll try to get a hold of you by the end of the day.”

“Well if you want,” she takes the card back and starts to write on the back, “You can come to this address to see the set and such.”

I nod my head as I take the card back to see it’s close to Namjoon’s dorm.

“I’ll remember that. Thank you.”

I take my bag down and walk away from them and hear the wife say to me, “I can’t wait to hear from you.”

I take a deep breath as I walk towards the baggage claim and luckily my bag was the first one down.

I smile as I take it and towards security and all for I can leave.

I pull out my phone to see that I have a message from Namjoon.

I open it and smile when I read his one word, “I miss you (Bogopa).”

I smile and send him the same message.

Then he asks me, “When are you coming home?”

“You’ll see,” I answer him blankly.

I sigh when I see my mother.

I run to her and she wraps her arms around me tightly, “Sweetie, I’ve missed you so much. Your father and I can’t wait to hold a welcome home party for you.”

I nod my head as I ask, “Yea… I can’t wait. Did you tell Namjoon that I’m back in Seoul?”

“No, I thought that would be your job.”

“Ohh… I’m glad.”

“What? You haven’t told him that you’re back yet?”

I nod my head as I look away from her and we slip into my father’s car, “Yeah, I haven’t told him that I was back. I wanted to surprise him, but it’s going to be really hard for me to do so.”

“You’ll think of something sweetie. I heard he and the rest of BTS will be part of a fashion show in Seoul in a week.”

“Really?”

“Yes, why do you look worried?”

“I was asked if I wanted to model at a fashion show.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” I pull the card out from my pocket and show it to her.

“Wow, do you have any idea who this is?”

“No, that’s why I don’t know what to do.”

“She’s a new fashion designer that made her debut around the time you left. She’s already really famous for her work as a designer and as an author.”

“Wow, in 9 months. I might have to take her up on being a model for her then.”

“Do you still not sure what you want to do?”

“I told you I want to be an editor for a fashion magazine.”

“Well I guess this will be a way to start in the fashion business.”

I nod my head as she starts the car as I look out the window I sigh.

“Just call him if he doesn’t answer at least you tried.”

“Fine.”

I dial my boyfriend’s number and wait until it goes to voicemail. I don’t’ leave 1 I just hang up the phone.

I sigh as I lean back and look at my mom, “This is lovely.”

“He didn’t answer your call.”

I nod my head and my mother sighs, “He’s lucky that you love him and I like him or else he might have died a while ago.”

“Omma, I’ve been dating him for almost 4 years this is nothing. It’s not like I have a problem at the moment. I guess I’ll just have too surprise him.”

 

The next week I’ve spend working with the new fashion designer on he show. I have yet too see BTS. You’ think they’ be here.

Is it supposed too be a surprise for us models or what? Oh well Not that I’ll be telling anyone since the only people who still really talk too me already know.

I sigh when I hear a door open and I don’t even look back as I exit another door since I'm done for the day.

 

Soon it’s the day of the show and I come in for the practice walk where we just do the walks down the stage.

As we’re doing so we’re told that BTS will be joining us for the practice. It shouldn’t be hard too walk around them while they sing.

I ignore the looks I’m getting from BTS. I sigh in relief when we get a break before the show. I happily it down in my chair and look at my hands.

I feel someone tap my shoulder and I look over it too see my Nam Joon.

“Yeah,” I try too act like I don’t know him killing myself.

“Jaehwa,” he whispers my name.

When I hear the way he says my name like that I want too jump from my chair and jump into his arms, but I can’t. I can’t I can’t cause a scandal for me. I can’t it could ruin them.

I hold back the tears as I look him in the eyes, “Ohh… Nam Joon. It’s nice too see you again. It’s been awhile.”

He knows what I’m doing and I see pain in his eyes until he looks down at my feet too see the red converse, “10 months. How have you been?”

I give him a small smile, “Alright. I need too grab a bite too eat real quick.”

“So do I want too come with us.”

“Nam Joon, don’t do this,” I whisper looking around the room, “do you want rumors too start? Plus you can get in trouble if they find out.”

“So what. We’ve dated for over 3 years.”

I hush him again as I storm off, “I don’t want too see your face again, Nam Joon.”

I run into one of the girls that I’ve become close with in my time practice with everyone. She’s one of the few who isn’t jealous that apparently I have pure talent for this kind of work. Her name is Mina Martin. She grew up in France though she’s only part French and the other is Italian.

“Mina, what’s up?”

“Nothing let’s grab something too eat.”

I nod my head as we make it too small cafe outside the building.

Then she says too me, “Listen too me when I say this okay. I know how you feel about starting rumors about dating but that guy seems too love you.”

I freeze as I look around, “How did you know?”

“We’ve been friends for a lil over a week and since I’ve known you, you’re always attached too your phone. You claim it’s a close friend, but the way you light up it’s not that at all. He’s your boyfriend.”

“Yeah, we’ve been dating a little over 3 years. It’s been hard. I met him in a cafe by chance when he was a trainee we were friends for a year or 2 before he asked me out. We’ve been together for 3 years, but about 10 months ago I ran off too France cause I felt depressed. I barely see him and when I do i want OT hide cause kpop fans are scarier than anything.”

She laughs, “So I’ve heard. Look you may hate the idea, but he loves you and you love him why should it matter?”

I look at my hands, “Cause I’m scared. I’m scared of his life going down hill cause of me. The contracts that artists get here in Korea are freaking ridiculous sometimes.”

She sighs as she looks up and smiles, “You might have a problem forgetting about him cause here he comes.”

I look up and curse as BTS gets some food and sits down at the table right beside us and Nam Joon can easily lean back and whisper and no one would probably notice.

“Do you hate me?” I hear him whisper.

I in my lips trying not too bite them, “No… Nam Joon oecus on your Carree.”

I get up and leave the cafe and I know that Mina is following me.

We walk into the dressing room and rushed too our chairs so our make up can be done. Then we’re handing our clothing.

I slip on a cute white dress.

I smile as I hear BTS singing and when I hear Rap Monster’s voice I walk on the stage. I smile as Nam Joon takes my hand and spins me too add an effect too the show.

I smile as I grab my next outfit.

I slip into the beautiful blue Bohemian dress and slip my earrings and necklace off along with the small veil on the back of my head. Trading it for a small flower head band.

As I walk back onto the stage the boys walk up too me and Nam Joon brushes his hand as they say beautiful woman.

I walk around the guys like I’m playing with them and when I reach the end of the platform I do my poses as I spin around I look at Nam Joon and wink. Though i keep a pretty blank face.

The show keeps going like that until we get too the end of the show.

“Where’s Crystal?”

“I’m not sure I think I saw here in the bathroom. We can’t wait for her too get back. Jaehwa, your up. I saw how you were moving You can do this one.”

I nod my head nervous.

I change into a beautiful outfit and they splay out my hair around me. slipping on the jewelry.

(The hair and makeup)

(Clothing and accessories)

I sigh as I walk onto the stage showing out the dress. I stop as I come face too face with the guys of BTS. I smile as I listen too them start singing ‘Just 1 Day.’

I walk and somewhat dance with them. They spin me around, but it’s a game of cat an mouse and each time one of them start singing one of them grabs my hand. I pull it away slightly every time like I’m a girl unsure of her feelings. They have chairs set up where they sit and I walk around them placing my hands on their shoulders and sometimes cheeks. When the song is almost up they have Nam Joon walk over too me talk my hand kneeling down like he’s begging for just 1day with me. He pulls out a flower for me too accept when i take it he smiles sightly stands up and kisses me sweetly but quickly.

I act professional and let him though I don’t show much emotion towards it.

Our amazing designer comes out does a small talk and then it’s the after party.

I slip on a semi formal purple dress and keep my hair the same as it was for the small dance.

 

I sigh when I get too the party and teased for the kiss. I look around until I find Nam Joon grab him by his shirt and shake him.

“Why the hell did you do that?”

He smiles as he places a hand on my cheek, “Cause I wanted my girlfriend back. I wanted the girl who I have loved for the last 5 years of my life. Is it wrong for a man too love his girlfriend.”

I stop as I hear whispers and I remember where I am.

“Nam Joon,” I whisper as tears come too my eyes.

“I’d give all of this up if you aren’t okay with this. I’d stop being an idol just too be with you.”

I hold my breathe as I place a hand over my mouth and whisper, “Nam Joon, you so are embarrassing.”

He laughs as he pulls me towards him into a hug and he gives me a sweet gentle kiss that tells me just how he’s missed me.

 

It's been over 4 months since Nam Joon and my relationship has become public I left Seoul after being attacked by a fan. I was saved by BTS’s manager and security, but it scared me so I moved in with Mina.

“So how are you and Nam Joon?”

“We’re fine he checks up with me, messages me everyday. He wants me too be safe. He blames himself for what happened few months ago.”

“Well I would blame myself to if I was him. He loves you he practically announced it too the world when he kissed you in the show and then the after party.”

We laugh as I nod my head, “Yeah…  Though it was sweet of him. He’s looked after me the last few months. He’s worried for me. Though he says I have too watch some show today. That he has a surprise for me.”

She looks at me as she groans plopping herself on the couch more, “I’m so freaking jealous of your relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me last year after I became popular and did a swimsuit shoot. He was upset cause other man would see me half necked. I told him it was no difference from going to a pool or beach. He didn’t like it. We fought for awhile until we finally officially broke up cause this has been my dream since I was young.”

I smile at her, “You’re so lucky. You’ve always known what you wanted too do. I never did. I was a waitress in Korea and when i first came here I was once again along with a cook. It wasn’t until I was coming back from Seoul that I was offered this job and I accepted hoping it could bring me closer too Nam Joon… Though it’s also a small revenge.”

She laughs as she nods her head.

I look at the time as I pull out my laptop logging in and going too the small shows video feed.

I listen too the host announce BTS and I listen for a bit until the host says, “So Nam Joon you have an announcement today.”

“Yeah, I’d like too announce that I’m tired of fans attacking my girlfriend. I was the one who pursued her. I was the one that told her too keep it a secret. She didn’t want me too get hurt and she was scared too announce it. We’ve known each other for 5 or 6 years. I’d also like too say that if anyone attacks her again i might leave as an idol cause I don’t wish her any harm. I’d give up anything for her. Please don’t attack her anymore. I love her and shouldn’t you be happy that I’m with someone who loves me for who I am and no what I am.”

I feel tears in my eyes as I quickly grab a bag throwing clothing into the bag. I book a flight back home and Mina smiles at me, “Going too do see him.”

“Yeah… I can’t leave it like this.”

I check my phone too see what their schedule is thanks too my loving boyfriend. I nod my head as I see there’s a show shortly after I get too Korea.

“Perfect… Mina, I love you. I’ll be back.”

She shakes her head, “You probably won’t, but if you come back too Paris message me.”

“I’ll message you no matter what. keep in contact with me okay.”

She nods her head as I rush from the room.

 

 

When I get too Korea I get into a cab keep my head down with my cap on. I tell him the address too the studio that Nam Joon is in. I’m able too get in with persuading plus Namjoon’s manager.

As they mention me again I start too walk into my boyfriend’s line of sight. It goes silent as he stands up.

“Jaehwa… you’re back in Seoul.”

I know I’m crying and I don’t care as I take off the cap letting my hair fall down, “Yes, I’m back. I saw your interview the other day and I had too see you. Cause I don’t want too stay away from you anymore. Even though your so frustrating most of the time.”

He smiles as he looks me over seeing I only have a plain white shirt with black jeans and our matching red converse that he’s wearing today as well. It’s the exact replica of the outfit I wore when he asked me out.

“I love you, Nam Joon. I can’t stay in Paris away from you, but I’m still scared too be in Seoul after I was attacked. It scares me all the time. I’m not strong and I’m scared, but with you I know I’ll be strong again.”

He smiles as he walks over too me wiping my tears, “Well I promise I will.”

It’s the end of the show and Namjoon and I are sitting next too each other holding hands.

I lay my head on his shoulder, “You know when I was gone the converse helped me feel better when I’d pick them up and look at them. I’m surprised that they haven’t fallen apart yet. That’s make me cry.”

He chuckles as he holds me closer too him and hums a song that I know he wrote just for me. Just hearing it makes me feel a thousand times better and no matter what comes towards us. I don’t care what it’d be. As long as I have my boy friend with me.