It was one of many days that Hyomin was all by herself in their apartment, working on her column but after hours passed, she couldn’t come up with any idea to write so she decided to go out and seek for some inspiration to write the content of hers, glancing at the time on wall clock, Hyomin got up from sofa to wash up and change into a comfortable clothes. Putting her laptop and camera into her bag, she locked the door and left.

Hyomin went to a café she always came with Eunjung, she found a comfortable spot to sit down, ordering coffee and working on her column, she was ordering coffee, cup after cup by the time she finished her work and ready to go back, she was surprised at how many cups she has drank, “If Eunjung found out about this she would gave me a long nagging” Hyomin thought and smiled at it. She packed up her things and decided to go to supermarket to get some fresh vegies and meat to cook dinner. While shopping, she texted message to Eunjung asking if she needed to eat something but no reply after 20 minutes, she guessed Eunjung might be busy, so she just picked up and chose everything she thought she would cook for Eunjung.

As Hyomin was outside supermarket, she recognized a car, it was her girlfriend’s car on the other side of the street , she smiled and was about to cross the street when she saw Eunjung and another girl got on the car and drove away, her smile faded away. All the way to their apartment, Hyomin was thinking about what she just saw, she didn’t realize that she arrived at her place until a taxi driver called her and snapped her back to reality.

Hyomin diligently cooked dinner, most of the dishes were Eunjung’s favorite, she happily set the table and waited for Eunjung to come home. Hyomin occasionally glanced at her wristwatch, it was one hour late than the time Eunjung told her she would be coming home, “Maybe a bad traffic” Hyomin comforted herself . Another 20 minutes passed when Hyomin got a phone call from her girlfriend telling her not to stay up and wait for her because she would be home late as she had to entertain her father’s business partner. Hyomin hang up the phone and sighed, she looked at the food in front of her, lately Eunjung came home late quite often, most of the time because of her work, and all business related while other times she hanged around partying with her friends.

It was 2 a.m in the morning and Hyomin couldn’t sleep yet because she drank too much coffee and part of it was because she worried about Eunjung, she wanted to call her but was afraid that her phone call might distract her girlfriend, she was probably driving now, just then she heard the door was slowly cracked open, and a person she missed all day walked in.

“Are you still awake? Eunjung asked her girlfriend with straight face, Hyomin beamed at her and nodded.

“I told you not to stay up and wait, please don’t make me feel guilty” Eunjung said a bit irritated, Hyomin’s smile dropped

 “I can’t sleep” Hyomin answered.

 “Don’t lie Hyomin” Eunjung said with tired tone, Hyomin’s face was sadden by her girlfriend’s weary tone, Eunjung has been like this for a quite while, moody and easily angry.

“Do you want to take a hot baht, I’ll prepare warm water for you” Hyomin asked her girlfriend caringly, ignored Eunjung’s bad mood, she knew Eunjung was stressful from work and stuff.  

“Just go to bed already, I’ll just have a quick shower” Eunjung said bluntly, and she walked off to bathroom, Hyomin heaved a sigh and climbed up to the bed, feeling slightly upset.

*************************************

Today Hyomin was happy that Eunjung came back home early but after dinner, she sat rooted in front of her laptop working on company forecast plan, Hyomin was watching TV, admiring her girlfriend’s hardworking mode but at the same time she was worried about her, she took her attention of f TV and walked to kitchen to make Eunjung a hot tea that Eunjung liked.

“Eunjung ah, I made you a hot tea ” Hyomin told her girlfriend , holding a cup of tea

 “Thanks Yeobo” Eunjung said, without tearing her attention from monitor

“Please drink it before it gets cold” Hyomin suggested

 “Put it there, I’ll drink it later, let’s me finish this” Eunjung told her

 “Rest your eyes for some minutes, Eunjung ah” Hyomin tried to convince her, she was putting down tea cup next to her, at the same time Eunjung was reaching out to get her document, and her hand accidentally hit the cup as the result tea was spilling all over her document.

“Hyomin !” Eunjung shouted angrily, she quickly collected her documents, and tried to wipe them with sleeve of her pajamas.

“I’m sorry” Hyomin quickly helped Eunjung to pick up documents but she wasn’t careful enough and the rest of the tea in the cup spilled over Eunjung’s laptop

“Hyomin, why are you being this clumsy?” Eunjung was alarmed, getting annoyed at her girlfriend “ You messed up with my work” Eunjung scolded her girlfriend, Hyomin went quiet getting scolded by her girlfriend, she bitted her bottom lip.

“Can you leave me alone doing my work for a while?” Eunjung calmly asked suppressing her anger, Hyomin felt sorry for messing up her girlfriend’s work, she walked to bedroom with her head down.

“ Miahne” Hyomin whispered.

Eunjung sighed at the mess before her, she threw herself on the couch tiredly, all her effort went down the drain. By the time, Eunjung finished her work , it was almost 3 a.m in the morning , she went to bed , looking at sleeping figure , she quietly slipped herself inside the blanket.

Morning came, Hyomin got up to prepare breakfast for Eunjung, she looked at her side, Eunjung was sleeping soundly, she was reaching out her hand to touch Eunjung’s face but retrieve it, she walked out of bedroom leading to living room where she saw Eunjung’s document neatly placed with her laptop, she didn’t dare to walk close to it because she was afraid her clumsiness might ruin thing again. The thing that happened last night still lingered on her head with it bitter taste, she didn’t blame Eunjung for scolding at her because it was her false, she just missed same old Eunjung who was more relaxed, forgiving and sweet.

Eunjung was getting ready to go to work, Hyomin put French toast and black coffee on table for her, Eunjung noticed Hyomin’s red hand, she quickly took hold of her hand.

“What’s wrong?” Eunjung asked

“I burned my hand when I made breakfast” Hyomin explained, Eunjung heaved a long sigh hearing this from her girlfriend.

“I’m sorry” Hyomin said before her girlfriend got a chance to nag her.

“Hyomin ah, at least be more careful not to hurt yourself” Eunjung softly said, Hyomin smiled for she knows Eunjung cared about her.

“I’m sorry for last night” Hyomin made a proper apology, Eunjung shook her head but before she could say anything, her phone rang.

“Hi, Jiyeon” Eunjung answered the phone, “Ok, ok I’ll be there soon” Eunjung hurriedly said and hang up

“What’s going on?” Hyomin asked.

“Jiyeon needs to meet me now, I gotta go” Eunjung got up from her seat, and picked up her coat and bag.

“Drive safe…hon” Hyomin didn’t even finish her word when Eunjung was already out of the door.

***************************************

“I’ll see how long this will last, one day she will dumb you” Hyomin’s father said, “ You will know that I was right” He concluded.

Hyomin shook her head, hoping to shake off hurtful sentences that kept playing in her head like a broken record, they didn’t only bother her peace of mind, but it hit her emotionally where it hurt. Today Hyomin ran into her parents as she was walking into a restaurant that Eunjung told her to come to wait, she was glad to see them after a long while, she greeted them and asked them how they were, her mother seemed to have tear in her eyes seeing her daughter’s face after few years, but her father was different, he refused to talk to her, his eyes were full of disgusting and hatred, Hyomin didn’t blame him for that, she disgraced him with her choice and the way she was. Before he walked away, he left a harsh sentence that left huge emotional impact in Hyomin’s heart, she felt like she was struggling all alone in the world where people judged her and looked at her differently, she was snapped back to reality when her phone rang.

* Phone ringing *   

Hyomin lazily reached for her phone but caller name brought smile back to her face.

“Hello, yeobo” Hyomin cheerfully answered the phone

“Hyomin ah, I’m sorry honey but I can’t make it today, something comes up” Eunjung apologized and she could hear Hyomin’s sigh on the other line.

“I’ll make it up to you later, ok?” Eunjung said “ Hyomin?” Eunjung called her name again when she heard no response from her girlfriend.

“Ok” Hyomin replied shortly, and Eunjung knew her girlfriend was being mad

“Hyomin ah, please don’t be like this, I’m really sorry” Eunjung apologized

“I’m fine, don’t worry” Hyomin reassured but truthfully she wasn’t ok, this wasn’t the first time within these few months that Eunjung canceled their date when Hyomin was already at the restaurants they reserved, but she wished today was different and hoped Eunjung would make it but it never happened.

“I’ll see you at home, love you” Eunjung hang up the phone.

“I love you too but I’m not sure if you do” Hyomin said when phone was already disconnected, “I missed you Eunjung” Hyomin swallowed a lump on , tear threatened to fall.

She walked out of the restaurant, looking couples passing by, she inwardly laughed pathetically at herself, “How can you forget this day?” Hyomin murmured to herself. She took out her phone from her coat pocket, and read 1 unread message.

 “Happy Anniversary, wish you guys a great day” …. From Qri , Hyomin was going to reply the message but she decided to dial  Qri’s number instead.

Hyomin returned home a bit late, when she arrived, she was surprised to see Eunjung was already home, looking displeased

“Where have you been Hyomin?” Eunjung asked sternly

“I went to see Qri unnie” Hyomin said, hiccupping

“You drink?” Eunjung furrowed her eyebrows

 “Yes, I had a little drink with Qri” Hyomin answered coldly “ Wae?” Hyomin asked

“Wae?” Eunjung repeated Hyomin’s question, irritated

“ Wae, Eunjung?” Hyomin stared at Eunjung, “Why can’t I drink when you can?” Hyomin questioned her girlfriend

“You can’t use this against me Hyomin, you know well I don’t want you to drink and I have to drink because I can’t avoid it” Eunjung patiently spoke.

“Then I have my reason to drink too” Hyomin curved up a side of her lip and about to walk away

“But not for this stupid reason, Hyomin ah”, Eunjung aggressively took her hand, “Just because our date was canceled it didn’t mean that you had to go around drinking” Eunjung added angrily. 

Hyomin just laughed sarcastically, “Why did it even matter? Hyomin asked  

“Because you are my girlfriend and I don’t like it when you go out drinking with a girl who forever has a crush on you” Eunjung raised her voice, jealousy was obvious in her voice

“Don’t drag her in Eunjung” Hyomin retorted

“I didn’t even say anything when you enjoyed partying with your staff and people at work coming home late, when you canceled our dates for your important meeting with your important business holders” Hyomin recalled

“I never get jealous and trust you with all my heart when you suddenly leave and drive to Jiyeon’s house in the middle of the night to see her every time she calls you and needs you” Hyomin spoke what she had been keeping in her heart

“I didn’t get mad at you when I cooked for you only to find that you were not coming home for dinner and I had to throw all those food away” Hyomin exposed, everything were bottled up inside of her for so long .

“And today it’s our anniversary day, you totally forgot about it and here you are picking a fight with me for having a drink with my senior” Hyomin ranted out everything

“You’ve changed Eunjung ah, I don’t even know if you still love me” Hyomin concluded, tear steamed down her face, she walked away to their bedroom and shut the door.

“Hyomin ah” Eunjung called her name softly, she was startled by Hyomin’s outburst, she never knew Hyomin would keep all these little things in her heart, she was always reasonable, and she thought Hyomin would understand everything she did.

Eunjung gave a faint knock on the door but Hyomin didn’t open it, she locked herself inside and cried her heart out. Eunjung heard Hyomin crying, and it was tearing her heart apart. “Hyomin ah” Eunjung called her name. She rested her back leaning on the door painfully listening to Hyomin crying sound until it stopped.

Eunjung was looking for a spare key of their bedroom, and found it in key cupboard; she slowly opened the door to find Hyomin curved up into ball sleeping in bed, she felt a painful sting in her heart, she climbed up the bed, adjudging Hyomin’s sleeping position, putting pillow on her head and covered her up with blanket. Eunjung spent hours behind the bedroom door thinking about what Hyomin said earlier, she was reflecting herself and came to realize something, she was gonna pick up what she left. 

***************************************

Hyomin woke up to find herself all alone in their apartment, she walked to kitchen to get water to drink,then she saw a stick note in the fridge

“Take your medicine and rest, I’ll talk to you when I come home … Love Eunjung”   Hyomin smiled bitterly at the message, she wasn’t ready to hear what Eunjung was going to talk to her.

Hyomin looked around reminiscing the sweet memories she had of this place,  every corner of this home that Eunjung and her made their memories together, how sweet and loving Eunjung used to be. She took a one last look before closing the door.

When evening came, Eunjung hurriedly returned home, she needed to clear things up with Hyomin but when she opened the door to her home, she found only a dark and empty apartment, strangely she could feel her heart sank, she quickly the light, “ Hyomin ah”, Eunjung called her girlfriend’s name  but no response , she immediately ran to their bedroom but Hyomin wasn’t there either, her instinct was telling her this wasn’t right, she quickly opened their wardrobe and regretted doing so, half of Hyomin’s clothes were gone, she felt her hands were shaking when she tried to dial Hyomin’s phone number.

“No, you are not doing this” Eunjung shook her head frantically, clutching on her phone, “The number you are calling cannot be connected, please try again later.” ,Eunjung crazily punched her phone redialing Hyomin’s number but no avail. She tiredly plopped herself in bed, she didn’t know what to do then her eyes noticed a pink envelope laid on the desk, she quickly grab it and opened it immediatly.

“Dear Eunjung my love,

I’m sorry for not saying goodbye to you face to face, please forgive me but I’m not brave enough to do so. I’m not ready yet to face the truth, I’m scared to hear what you want to say. Eunjung ah, if your love for me is no longer there, please wait until I get a bit stronger, then I’ll go back and hear it from you, meanwhile let me live with the memories of us to keep me alive and happy, I won’t be able to take it now,  just thinking about it my heart hurts so bad.

I think this would be the best way to give you freedom to do what you want, and set you free from feeling suffocated being with me. I’m sorry for giving you a hard time.

I love you

Hyomin

As soon as Eunjung finished the letter, her tear ran down her face, she held the letter close to her heart, she never realized that she made her girlfriend felt such a way, Hyomin was struggling with her emotional insecurity but she never meant to make her feel that way. For Eunjung there was no single day she ever thought about leaving Hyomin, she loved her girlfriend too much to even imagine living without her.

********************************

Eunjung’s POV (Her perspective)

After a discussion over an advertising concept with advertising company, I offered to drop the owner of company off because her car was being locked for parking at prohibited area, I saw a message from my girlfriend asking me what I wanted to eat, I quickly replied and told her that I would be home after this last schedule for today when I was driving home, my secretary called to remind me of a business partner dinner’s schedule which I totally forgot about it after dinner I had to take them out for karaoke , it wasn’t fun for me I was really tired and wanted to go home.

When I arrived in my apartment, I quietly opened the door to bedroom, carefully not to wake up my girlfriend, but to my surprise, Hyomin was still awake watching TV.

I already told her not to stay up late and wait for me because I was concerned about her health and more than it made me feel guilty for making her wait , I had a long day and I really wanted to go to bed so when Hyomin asked me if I wanted to take hot baht, I just declined and went for a quick shower, when I walked out of the bathroom, Hyomin was already asleep, I laid down next to her and hugged her in her sleep.

“I’m sorry Hyomin ah” I kissed her forehead and drifted to my dreamland.

Today I tried to clear all my schedule and came home early to have dinner with Hyomin, I knew I did upset her when I said I would return home and had dinner with her yesterday, I saw the food was thrown in garbage this morning. I had to bring work home to finish it by tomorrow.  Through I was busy, I was happy to feel her presence as long as we were together, as I was almost done organizing my project plan, Hyomin accidentally spilled tea on document, admittedly I was angry at her clumsiness, she always hurt herself, I couldn’t control my anger and scolded at her which I felt so sorry about it, I asked her to leave me alone to finish my work and she did as told, I cleaned up all the mess, when I competed my work, I checked on it one last time before saving it and turning off the laptop. If only tea wasn’t spilled on my document, I would have finished it earlier and had more time to spend with Hyomin. I yawned tiredly and walked to our bedroom, Hyomin was sleeping soundly, I slipped myself inside the blanket and hugged her from behind

“I’m sorry for scolding at you my love, I hope you don’t get angry at me” I whispered into her ear through I knew she didn’t listen.

I woke up and found an empty space beside me, I looked at the alarm clock , it was already 7.45 a.m so I quickly got up for shower and got dressed for work, I saw Hyomin in kitchen preparing breakfast for me, she didn’t smile at all, she might be sulking for being scolded last night. As she was placing food and coffee on table, I noticed a red mark on her hand, I quickly held her hand. She nonchalantly told me that she burned herself ( again) , I couldn’t help but heaved a sigh, this was why I did worry about her, she was clumsy and got herself injured  .

“Hyomin ah, at least be more careful not to hurt yourself” I begged her, I wish she was more careful, I didn’t mind if she would burn this kitchen or break expensive china ware as long as she wasn’t injured or hurt

“I’m sorry for last night” Hyomin said, I shook my head, she didn’t need to apologize, I was going to tell her I was sorry when my phone call interrupted our conversation. It was Jiyeon, my ex and my dongseang, she just broke up with her boyfriend, she even attempted suicide once but I was there to stop her, I didn’t tell Hyomin about this because I didn’t want her to get worried. Jiyeon was leaving the country so she wanted me to say goodbye so I gotta go and went to see her at the airport before her flight departure time.   

Today was our 5^th anniversary, and I planned for a special dinner with my girlfriend, the love of my life, I was so happy that my father finally accepted Hyomin and gave me a blessing this morning, I was going to tell Hyomin when we would meet. I asked Hyomin to go to restaurant before me as if it was just another date, as time was getting closer, I was reported by Sales section about our customer’s complaint, and they were going to sue the company if we didn’t replace product for them, I had to solve the problem and ensure things are under control. I didn’t want Hyomin to wait long there so I made her a phone call that I knew it would disappoint her but I really got no choice. After everything was resolved, I went straightly home, but I didn’t see Hyomin waiting in our apartment as I expected, I tried calling her twice but I couldn’t go through her, I was waiting until 11.40 p.m, 20 minutes before the end of the day when Hyomin finally returned home. I was worried sick about her but my worry turned to anger and jealousy when I found out that she went to drink with a girl who has been in love with her since we were at university. I never thought we would be fighting on our anniversary day and worse when Hyomin broke down, her tears were tearing my heart apart, I never ever wanted to see her cry

“You’ve changed Eunjung ah, I don’t even know if you still love me” Hyomin said before walking away

How could Hyomin doubt my love for her?  I might be stressful and neglected her sometimes, but my love for her would never change.

**************************************

Eunjung was scrolling down her contact list to find Hyomin’s friend to ask about her girlfriend but she paused when she heard a noise coming from living room, she walked to living room to find Hyomin rubbing her knee which just hit a chair. Hyomin widened her eyes to see Eunjung at this time, she thought her girlfriend would be working right now, she forgot her passport and she came to take it.

“ Eunjung” Hyomin called her name, Eunjung walked closer to her and hugged her tightly

“ Don’t you dare leaving me without hearing what I wanted to say” Eunjung commanded , “ Hyomin ah, if you doubt whether I still love you or not, listen to me carefully” Eunjung paused, Hyomin felt her pulse beat fast

“I’ve loved, I do love you and will always love you, only you” Eunjung told her, “ Not a single day that I can imagine myself living without loving you” Eunjung could hear Hyomin sobbing on her shoulder, she released the hug to wipe away her tear and looked into the brown eyes.

“ I’m sorry if I made you feel scared, unsecured and neglected” Eunjung looked into those tearful eyes that reflecting her inside those eyes. “ I promise I’ll never repeat that again” Eunjung made a promise.

“ I love you Hyomin ah” Eunjung ended what she wanted to say and sealed Hyomin’s lips with hers.

“ I love you too” Hyomin smiled through her tearful eyes.

“ I thank to myself for being clumsy and forgetful if not I wouldn’t return home to hear this things” Hyomin thought

THE END