The lesson was over and don’t ask how it was. Disaster. She literally acted as if I wasn’t there. It was because I don’t have capable computer and haven’t paid the fee.

The way back to home was suffocating. I didn’t live in dorm and my house was in another region from my university, so it took a while to reach home. The journey was tiring for obvious reason, it was so far. I used to sponge off jinhwan hyung because he live close to me but I stopped it. Some annoying people keep on gossiping us, mostly me, being stingy. My pride is more important than any other thing, even though I don’t have money. So, I had to be prudent on spending money, If I want to go home.

On the way back to home, mostly I listen to music or humming any come up idea for new song. Yes, I still writing lyrics and making melody. In the midst of my hell assignment, I still use slim chance to run back to junhwe studio and watching him teaching there sometimes or going to donghyuk recital piano (I used back door, because I couldn’t afford to buy ticket). I did it secretly as I didn’t have good term both with junhwe and donghyuk. when I was satisfied, I went back to my home, my room, and doing my task with almost 90% manipulate the data for report.

I don’t graduate as planner ( what people call my job in the future), but as liar. I couldn’t afford going to any survey, or obtain data for analyzing. Good thing, I have capable brain, so professor didn’t say anything.

If I took literature or music as my major, I wouldn’t have been this pathetic.

I wish I was dying for cancer so I have reason to avoid class, but the only disease I was capable of having just cold or fever.

I literally dead in my mind.