Eyes shut; and the orange sunset couldn't peek through the tree branches anymore, its fading light couldn't trespass the thick, fluttering lashes and reach his tired, dark orbs.

Long, deep breaths were inaudible, but he knew they filled the stiffling hot air, as the only living presence to fight against the suffocating heat wave, because he was the one letting them out, one by one, careful and slow.

No other unnecessary sound was intruding his ears, his mind, when the stillness of harmonious quiet created a fragile balance of musical notes. 

The iPod was on, earbuds securely stuck in, to share the wonderful world of classical music and instruments merging together their own colors, yet remaining perfectly distinguishable in an intimate dance of sweet piano lullabies, proud and antique love hymns on strings, longing tunes of gypsy guitar plays from far away countries.

And everything, for once, was perfectly good. Because his bleeding heart always stopped worrying that much and calmed down; it played hide and seek with a lighter, clear mind and they ran, ran over imaginary fields covered in endless, fresh grass and flowers wet of dew, as if they were both humans, both lovers that hugged each other after years of tumultuous wars.

Peace. That state of mind he loved so much suddenly broke, like a thin thread being pulled and torn apart. His bubble burst and million other sounds immediately overwhelmed his ears: twittering birds, cars speeding on the road, eventually beeping horns, people's chatter, students' excitement upon finishing their club activities...

One earbud fell. Or better, it was plugged off his ear, creating a hurtful intrusion.

"So, here you were!" Hyungsik's familiar voice giggled, excited after finally finding where Ryeowook was "You didn't show up at our study session. Too bad, because graduation exams are coming!" 

The rustling of the grass and some fallen leaves signalled that Hyungsik had sat down, his back against the thick trunk of a tree.

Ryeowook sighed; his frail, imaginary world of carefree content already too far away to be grasped back and forced to stay. There was no meaning behind keeping the music on, so he moved, automatic - he knew where his iPod was just by the images stuck in his mind - and turned it off. Then he stayed another couple of minutes in perfect silence, sprawled on the grass - under the restoring shade of his favorite oak - before he tiredly fluttered open one eye, then the other, careful not to be blinded right away by the light that for so long he had forgotten and locked outside his mind.

"I know" he croaked and a smile sketched on his lips "But I am too tired today to do anything else but rest"

Hyungsik hummed and nodded, acknowledging what Ryeowook had said. His hands were busy at choosing one flavor of onigiri from the plastic bag of the nearby convenience store, bought right after finishing studying and before going on the "Ryeowook-hunt". He kind of knew his friend was only to be found on the school grounds still, but he couldn't tell why he hadn't started his research from there since the very beginning.

It had been two days already since the little argument at the club, one since Ryeowook's resumption of classes at school.

Dongwoon was still mad at N. The boy blamed him for letting Ryeowook take his place with his own customer. He thought of it as a betrayal, because Ryeowook had to rest for a couple of days in order to fully recover from the bruises and consecutive pain, and Dongwoon personally believed that no friend was ever to be treated the way N had selfishly treated Ryeowook.

Therefore he had pushed N away for a little while and, through excuses linked to study for upcoming exams, almost rarely hung out with Ryeowook and Hyungsik, feeling indirectly ashamed for N's doing.

On the other hand, N - the only one at fault - completely disappeared. Everytime he bumped into Ryeowook by mistake, he ran to the opposite direction and never showed his face, if he could, to the friend he had hurt with his wimpy behavior.

The little group of four split up, and the only one that - willingly or not - followed Ryeowook was Hyungsik. This made Ryeowook realize that none of his human relationships had ever lasted long.

He loved both N and Dongwoon, but he noticed that their friendship had never rooted the way Hyungsik wanted his relationship with Ryeowook to become. A faithful and trustworhty friendship, which both of them could always count on.

As he peeked at Hyungsik eating, he realized that the boy was the only one to seriosuly stick by his side either in bad or good times.

"Do you want one?" Hyungsik offered a little package to Ryeowook, feeling his friend's eyes on his face while he ate "What...what's wrong?" he stopped and blinked, mouth full and smeared with some rice grains.

"I'm fine, thanks" Ryeowook shook his head and chuckled as he put himself to sit by the boy's left side. He crouched his legs and hugged them both around the knees, resting there his chin "I was thinking... you're the only one that really wants to stay by me" he fumbled with puffed cheeks.

Hyungsik vehemently nodded and after swallowing his bite he said: "Of course! That's because I'm your friend and you're mine!" he innocently explained, as if that were the most natural answer to give in the world "I think you shouldn't think too much about what's happened with N. He's feeling guilty and ashamed, but he never wanted to hurt you"

"I know" Ryeowook nodded and never moved his eyes from the indefinite shape of a little leaves pile "I'm not mad at him. I think he has yet to understand that I did it for him but..."

"But?"

"I'm sad to know that Dongwoon and him aren't with us anymore. Dongwoon is particularly close to Hakyeon, maybe he felt bad for how things went that night, maybe he felt as if Hakyeon wouldn't think of it too much before betraying all of us again somehow...maybe..."

"Maybe..." Hyungsik repeated, understanding what Ryeowook wanted to say with that. He cleared his throat, it felt sticky after eating too many onigiri, but when he was ready to speak again, he lightly elbowed Ryeowook and said: "Anyway, I think you're wrong. There's at least another person who would stay by your side and never ask anything in return"

Ryeowook grinned, defying and mocking: "Yeah? Who?"

"Kyuhyun of course!" Hyungsik exclaimed, as naturally as possible, and his snap couldn't not get all of Ryeowook's attention at once.

"Who?!" he hollered, head turned to Hyungsik and eyes wide.

"Kyuhyun, I said" Hyungsik nodded, almost lecturing "He rushed to your place the other night and you haven't told me anything about it yet!" he shook his inquisitory finger against Ryeowook, whom, in the meanwhile, was shifting to a lovely dark pink shade all over his face.

"Nothing happened" he quickly replied, wanting to get it over.

"I don't believe you" Hyungsik grinned, stubborn as to make Ryeowook finally speak.

"Why not?!" Ryeowook pouted, alarmed.

"Because I saw how you look at him. Eyes shimmering and filled with longing desire, perhaps still unconscious that you want to have him, that you do have feelings for him. Are you scared?"

"Oh my gosh, Park Hyungsik! Since when have you become such an expert? Where did the too shy and innocent version of you go?" shocked, Ryeowook eyed him with a flashing glare.

"I guess people change" Hyungsik shrugged it off and sipped his water from the bottle.

"I knew I had better to keep you away from corruption" dejected, Ryeowook shook his head, convinced that his every word and action could keep Hyungsik away from the topic of Kyuhyun.

"Come on, spill it all out!" Hyungsik patted him on a shoulder and smiled "Tell me how you feel whenever you two meet"

"There's nothing to say about it. Stop it now!" Ryeowook argued back, resorting to his last hope, but Hyungsik's perseverance was undeniably stronger.

"I don't believe you" the younger boy repeated, comfortably seated against the trunk.

"What do you want me to say then? That every single time I see him, my heart crazily beats like it were about to run for a marathon? That I want to know him better, but he didn't want to give me any chance for an approach? That I asked him if he was interested in someone and he clearly despised the mention of a relationship with a man? That I'm too young for him, because he's already 27? That I would probably have no real chance to fall in love with him because I..." Ryeowook stopped his rant.

"Because you...?" unfortunately kept on hold, Hyungsik's eyes sparkled, too dragged because of Ryeowook's impetuous, raw feelings for Kyuhyun, whom he was so sure that his friend had grown to love little by little. He wanted to unveil many other details though, in order to endorse Cupid's role and match-make them, be that the ever last thing he could be granted to do on Earth. 

"Never mind..." Ryeowook was now fully red and embarrassed. He bit his lips and covered his face in his hands "I'm helpless, I know..." he sighed and slumped both shoulders.

"No, you're not" Hyungsik casually replied, messing with the food content in his plastic bag and not turning to Ryeowook "You're simply in love"

"I'm not in love...with him...I think I might feel...uhm...affection" Ryeowook mumbled still behind his hands, he was now hiding a dumb grin, too shy to expose the truth of his growing feelings "Yeah, affection is the most accurate word"

"Yeah, affection that will soon turn into love" Hyungsik nodded and stated, mocking Ryeowook's indifference for what he couldn't discern as something way stronger than affection "Now tell me everything I need to know in order to enact the part of your love consultant, it'd be easier for me to tell you what you need to do next"

"I don't think there's something I want to do next, actually" suddenly all Ryeowook's funny blush vanished. He straightened his back and looked intently at Hyungsik, conveying all the desolation he felt whenever he thought of his never-happening-relationship with Kyuhyun. It wasn't leading anywhere but to a strange pull and push that was feeding both of them up.

Hyungsik threw him a glare and Ryeowook froze for a while. He had never seen Hyungsik so thrown into something, like the little notions about his acquaintance with Kyuhyun. And the best part was that, as his closest friend, he was there to help him and give advices without seeking anything in return! 

Finally convinced - even because Hyungsik would have killed him, if he kept on denying his interest in the man - Ryeowook let out a long sigh and began his tale.

"Every single time we met it was by chance" he explained "The first time he worked in a restaurant where I was having dinner with a customer of mine. He distractedly bumped into me, poured coffee on my shirt and hurt me. This burn I have on my hip - the boy istinctively lifted a corner of his uniform shirt - is the mark that his coffee left on me. The man I was with that night got extremely angry over it and asked Kyuhyun's immediate dismissal from work. After that day I thought I would have never met him again, but...I was wrong. I felt guilty for how things turned for him and perhaps destiny decided to give me a chance to repent. In face, Kyuhyun was the same man that, by mistake, got our pictures switched at the shop. And we met again to exchange envelops. That day it was heavily raining and I fainted on the street, he was kind enough to carry me to the nearest hospital, but didn't stay with me, at least not until midnight. He came back and apologized, for the burn, for leaving me alone, for being harsh to my attempts of being kind and joyful around him. I guess I can be something most of the times, and that could be too much to handle for him"

"He surely didn't look that harsh the other day. He seemed sincerely worried for you, and I'm saying it by looking at you two from the outside" Hyungsik briefly interrupted "He...knows though. He knows what we do for a living, how did he-?"

Ryeowook let out another sigh, this time slightly more bitter than the previous shared ones: "He saw me. You know we don't bring anybody over, but it all happened on the day when I didn't come to the club. I had a couple of appointments to squeeze in the schedule and one of my customers was at home with me. The door was forgotten open and Kyuhyun, who only wanted to make up and brought sweets and movies, saw everything" once again pure shame overwhelmed him and Ryeowook was forced to cast down his head, hiding it on his knees, which he hugged tight against his chest "I...I didn't want him to see the true me" silently crying, sniffing with his nose, he blurted, finally conscious of being overly tired with the secret life he led at night, totally different from the quiet, lovely and bubbly high school student.

Hyungsik softened upon watching Ryeowook lowering all his defenses and showing himself at his weakest moment. The boy set aside his food bag and gently moved his hand so he could comfortingly pat his friend's back: "What did he say about it?" he asked with low voice. Now their parts had exchanged and he was the one who felt in need to help Ryeowook with his issues.

"Nothing. He said nothing at first. He just...he was angry..." Ryeowook mumbled, still hiding his tear streaked face.

"At you?"

The older boy shook his head and replied: "No, not at me. He was angry for me, in my place. He didn't want to have anything to do with me, and I understand him, but nevertheless I forced him to get to know me, I did it my way because I couldn't believe that there might have been someone seriously turning me down. I am not used to that!" Ryeowook lifted his head and finally snapped, furiously rubbing his eyes with the back of both hands "He was there for me, when I needed someone at my side... I want him to take care of me, to love me..."

"Then tell him!" Hyungsik suggested, as if that were the easiest thing scheduled on Ryeowook's personal agenda.

The other boy softly laughed. It had to sound as another bitter non-verbal reproach, but in the end he really looked amused by how simplicistic Hyungsik's view on human relationships was.

He had always been alone, for his life entire length. Nevertheless people wanted to be with him because of his apparent sweetness, for his submissive character - which was only a cover - and his incredibly outstanding look. Now that the game was slowly changing and there were actually a couple of people seriously interested in staying by him because of who he was, Ryeowook didn't know how to react at all. Should he be flattered by all this research for attention? Or maybe scared, because he had always relied on himself only and didn't know how to manage another person's opinion, idea, taste...or even his mere presence? Like Kyuhyun's...

"Hyungsik" Ryeowook softly called for his friend "What would you do if you were soon bound to die? What would you do if you were granted just a couple of months of life? Do you have any dream, interest, something to achieve in that brief period of time?" he slowly articulated those words. Out of the blue.

Like foreseeable, Hyungsik snapped open his eyes and couldn't avert them from the little smile painted on Ryeowook's lips. It was a really soft and warm one, lightly sketched on his lips, but instead of conveying sadness for such a topic, it looked ever so bright, sincere and strong. 

"What do you mean?" Hyungsik's lips quivered, obviously taken aback. How was one supposed to answer about last minute plans before death? His mind became a messy whirl of thoughts, almost desperate to come up with a honest reply. 

"What would you do, Hyungsik?" the boy repeated for a while in his head. Fingers playing with his pouting lips in a mumble of ideas "Living life at its fullest is what everybody would and should do, right? - he answered with yet another question - I think I would simply do what I like the best and try to be always surrounded by people who make me feel good. Simple, too cliché maybe, but efficient. I don't want them to mourn over me, instead I'd really like them to live the last moments of my whitering happiness with me"

After thinking for so long, Hyungsik returned to look at Ryeowook, who kept listening in religious silence and never once looked back at him, perhaps too focused at contemplating his friend's genuine words.

"You?" Hyungsik proposed the same question.

Suddenly the other student moved. He sprang to his feet, dusted his uniform so it could go back to be as neat as after taking it on, and grabbed his bag. This time Ryeowook graciously turned to Hyungsik and winked: "I think I'd do the same, with the only difference that nobody would ever know about my conditions. That would always affect them to feel sad and pitiful about me. Happiness would be stained until the very end..."

And just as graciously he began to walk away, leaving Hyungsik to his dumb frown and the awaiting snacks, the Kyuhyun-topic long forgotten.

---ooo---

Stomach churning in agitation and anticipation.

Heart pounding so fast that he could feel the turbulent pulse pumping blood in his ears.

Hands joint together and nervously playing with thin fingers, mostly torturing them in the wait.

His feet were leading him down the road. It had been walked once, but he couldn't quite forget the importance of that moment for him, for his heart.

Eyes now empty and scared, because of the too high amount of hope concealed, trust that didn't want to be stained with delusion, he had long stopped crying. He almost never did, but when it happened, no brakes were available until the natural reaction slowly faded away and tiredness subsided.

Memories of a just occurred encounter were pushing him to the place he was headed to.

"I thought I gave you some time off. What are you doing here?" a smile welcomed him in the fancy office.

"I...I need to talk to you" and he knew that smile was bound to disappear. If there was something he couldn't stand was betrayal, all the more if he was the one advancing the offence to a dear person.

"What's wrong?" the smile became an inquisitory look.

The jingling sound of a key