"Umma." 

Taemin gaped at the child pointing cutely at him while the rest of his hyungs watched on and snickered. 

"Minnie-umma." Yoogeun repeated, stretching out his arms in a demand to be picked up, a request that Taemin dazedly obliged. 

"Taemin-appa." Taemin tried again, balancing the 6 year old on his hip and pointing at himself, "Yooguen, I'm your appa, Taemin-appa." 

"Umma has long hair so umma is umma." Yoogeun smiled, child-logic beating down all protests that Taemin may have had. 

Taemin just sighed in defeat, making sure to cuss out all of his hyungs for not helping him later, and tilted his head down to allow Yooguen more access to his hair; the six year old enjoyed playing and fiddling with the maknae's hair, they had only met him an hour or so ago and already the only thing he seemed to want to do was play with Taemin's hair. 

His hyungs found it cute and amusing. 

The crew thought it was endearing. 

Taemin wondered whether he should've just dyed his hair instead. 

Being called umma wasn't as bad as Taemin thought it would be, for one thing Yoogeun was only 6 and he couldn't be angry at the mistake; it wasn't Yoogeun's fault that he'd never seen a man with long hair before, and Taemin could admit that he was a bit on the androgynous side. Some adults couldn't even tell if he was male or female, especially with this hairstyle, so he could hardly fault a 6 year old for mistaking him for a girl. 

What annoyed him was the fact that the rest of the group, and even the staff, had taken to calling him 'Minnie-umma' too. He knew that they were teasing him but they also knew that he was a little insecure about his feminine features, being referred to as the mother of the group was not helping these insecurities in any way. In any case it wasn't too much of a problem while they were in the house, there he didn't have to face the public and he could forget the fact that this show was being broadcast nationwide. 

Outside the house it was a different story. 

Taemin had been mortified and tempted to just take Yoogeun and run when an old woman had seen him, Yooguen and Minho on a walk outside and had complimented them on how lovely they were as a family, how well behaved Yooguen was and how Minho and Taemin must be excellent parents. 

Then Minho, the bastard, had picked Yoogeun up, balanced him on his hip and then wrapped his arm around Taemin's waist and had thanked her for the compliment. Taemin had jus stood there in shock while the two happily chatted away and then let himself be pulled away from the woman in a daze. The only thing stopping him from cussing out the soccer star was the fact that a child was present, he was on national TV and this was a public area so he shouldn't make a scene.

That didn't stop him from shoving his elbow into Minho's side though. 

The sharp wince of pain was music to his ears. 

And then there were the times when they took Yoogeun to studios to shoot and film. 

Yoogeun had very loudly demanded his 'Minnie-umma' during a shoot for a commercial, and Taemin had obliged, picking up the unhappy boy and propping him up on his hip, walking them round the set a few times to calm him down before returning to the commercial. 

Then there was the time when they had to go shoot with other groups, they had met up with SuJu and SNSD while they were there and to say that it was a little embarrassing would've been an understatement. The SNSD girls had been playing with Yoogeun while the rest of the group were shooting, Jonghyun and Key had been with them as only Taemin, Onew and Minho were needed at the moment. Then Yuri-noona decided to ask Yoogeun who was the prettiest out of all the ummas that were taking care of him, she meant just out of the 9 of them but Yooguen had happily answered that 'Minnie-umma' was the prettiest. 

Jonghyun had cracked up while a giggling Key had to explain that 'Minnie-umma' was what Yoogeun called Taemin...something that the SNSD-noonas had found quite funny and adorable because as soon as Taemin came back from his shoot they had started fawning over how good of a mother he was. 

Onew swore up and down that Taemin had created a new shade of red with his blushing that day. 

The Dress was the last straw though. The staff had said that they should act out a famous korean story, they had even bought costumes for it and left it up to the group to decided who did what. Taemin was annoyed, but not surprised, when he found the only dress in the pile being shoved in his face by Jonghyun, while Key pushed him into the other room, stating that the 'ladies changing room' was through there. 

This was the point where Taemin mentally snapped; they wanted a girl, well he was going to give them one. 

He acted normally for the rest of the day, only a little standoffish with the rest of the group (since they would expect him to be annoyed with them right now), but that night he went to the stylist-noonas and told them his plan...needless to say they were surprised, but that soon changed to excitement as they ran around getting outfits together. Heavy make-up was quickly thrown out of the window, the noonas had declared that he was a natural beauty so light make-up would do the trick, and they said that low heels were fine and that there was no need to put him in stilettos or anything. Finally they told him to wear his hair half-up-half-down and let his bangs hang around his face to soften his features and make him look more feminine. 

Make him look more feminine...god, he was actually doing it...this would be worth it though...if only for the looks on his hyungs' faces. 

When he stepped out of the bathroom the next day jaws dropped, Taemin smirked a little as Yoogeun ran to greet his 'Minnie-umma' and he laughed as the 6 year old complemented him and said that he looked really pretty. 

"T-Taemin-ah..." Minho struggled to find the words to describe the sight in front of him. 

"Taeminnie?!" Key stared in shock and a little awe. 

"You look..." Onew blinked, unable to comprehend what he was looking at. 

Jonghyun just choked on his rice, having been mid-bite when he saw their maknae.

 
"What's for breakfast?" Taemin asked, ignoring their questions and looks as if nothing was wrong. 

"You-" Jonghyun had to stop before he started choking again, "You're wearing-"

"You're wearing a dress," Minho blurted out, "And tights." He blatantly stared at the younger male...though no-one would think he was a male considering his appearance right now. 

Taemin looked down at his light blue cotton dress, while his thin legs were covered with blue and white striped tights, "What's wrong with what I'm wearing? I'm the Umma right, umma's should be able to dress up nicely." He grinned, and the hyungs felt their breath catch at the beautiful yet manipulative looking smile that their maknae gave them. 

"You've even got..." Onew gestured to his chest, struggling to express his thoughts and instead making a motion over his abs to symbolize s. 

"Well yeah," Taemin shrugged as if it was natural for a man to be wearing a bra and fake s, "I'm the umma right?" 

"But we're going out today!" Key suddenly realised. 

"This is nice enough to go out in right?" Taemin put his hands on his hips and huffed, making his hyungs freeze at the feminine mannerisms, "I look nice right?" He pouted. 

He recieved 4 frantic nods in return while Yoogeun just giggled and bounced around his legs, telling him that he was very pretty and that he should dress up all the time. 

Now that comment got an interesting reaction from the rest of the group, and Taemin's smiled affirmation just made things worse as Jonghyun started choking again, Minho paled, Onew fell out of his seat and Key's jaw dropped. 

Taemin just happily finished his breakfast and then picked Yoogeun up so that they could go play before the whole family had to go out. 

"What the hell?" Minho was first to speak. 

"Did we break him, I think we broke him!" Key stared at the door that Taemin had just left through. 

"All the comments about being girly just drove him over the edge." Onew gasped. 

"He was prettier than most girls with just the long hair!" Jonghyun announced, "And with the clothes, and the...chest!" He just buried his face in his hands to hide his blush. 

"Maybe this is all some weird dream and I'll wake up tomorrow and Taemin'll look like a man again." Minho started to pace around the dining room. 

"He'll still have the hair though," Key cut in before smacking Minho on the arm to snap him out of his daze, "And he'll still look like a girl even in men's clothes." 

"It'll be less confusing than this though!" Jonghun wailed. 

"Look he's still a guy, he just looks a lot like a girl right now, that's all." Key tried to rationalize the situation. 

"Shut up and let me have my uality crisis!" Jonghyun crouched in the corner of the room. 

"He's too androgynous as it is!" Onew complained, "Taeminie! Why did you do this to us?!" He yelled into the air before joining Jonghyun in angsting over their confused preferences. 

"This is just a dream! Just a stupid, messed up, weirdly hot dream!" Minho continued to pace, drowning out the outside world. 

"I'm never letting him dress up like that again," Key muttered, "From now on he's going to have short hair and always wear sweat pants and then no one will confuse him for a girl ever again." He began to plot out different ways to ensure that Taemin became as non-girly as possible...but not manly, he was still their maknae and Key refused to allow him to become manly until he was at least 21. 

In the other room, Taemin and a giggling Yoogeun listened at the door as the appas had their mental meltdowns. Taemin grinned as he heard them agonizing over his current looks, that would teach them for calling him girly, and his smile only widened as he though about the fun he had planned for later. 

Oh yes, his revenge was only just beginning. 

The four hyungs twitched, barely hiding their horror (and a little bit of awe) at the scene that was in front of them; they thought that Taemin couldn't push them further after that morning and they were wrong, so so very wrong. 

"Oh, your son is so cute!" One of the women gushed over Yoogeun as Taemin (in true girl form) happily chatted and gossiped with them. 

"Oh thank you!" The hyungs had to applaud Taemin for his voice acting, he really did sound like a girl, and all the mannerisms were horrifyingly accurate. 

"He looks so much like his appa!" Another woman gushed, and Minho nearly choked as the other three women turned to look at him. 

"He really does, doesn't he." Taemin giggled (GIGGLED!) and waved at a stunned Minho, who just about recovered enough to shyly wave back. 

"Why? Why did we decided to go to a play centre?" Minho moaned as the 5 women, Taemin included, laughed at his shy response. 

"We didn't think that this would happen!" Jonghyun hissed back. 

"Don't look at them!" Key snapped as Onew went to look over at the gossipers again, "It'll only draw their attention!"

"I just want our maknae back!" Onew near wailed, "I'll never call him girly again if this is what happens!"

"Same." The other three let their heads thunk onto the table. 

"They've been at it for three hours!" Minho groaned, "Three hours! How can they gossip like that for that long, they only met today!"

"Girl-Taemin is scary." Jonghyun whimpered. 

"I want him to be our cute little brother again!" Onew wailed again. 

"Yeah." The other three agreed. 

"Okay, let's go!" Taemin flounced over to them, remarkably agile in his low heels, "Yoogeun wants to spend some time with his Minho-appa." He passed the giggling 6 year old over to the stunned man, "Oppas, lets go." 

Jonghyun choked again and Key and Onew had to support him as Taemin dragged them all out of the play centre. 

"Oppa?!" He gasped as soon as he stopped suffocating. 

"Well yeah, that's what a girl is supposed to call an older guy right?" Taemin grinned, looking positively evil to the four hyungs. 

"We apologize," Key hissed to the others when Taemin was out of earshot, "We apologize, beg for forgiveness and promise to never call him girly again. Then we get rid of the extensions and put him in sweat pants and loose shirts forever so that no one ever thinks he's a girl ever again. Finally we forget this whole thing ever happened and try to move on with our lives. Agreed?"

"Agreed." They all nodded solemnly. 

Taemin chuckled as he heard their declaration, they wouldn't be mess with him again, that was for sure...but thank god that they had decided to give in now, he had not been looking forward to stage 3...or heaven forbid stage 4 or 5. There were lengths that he was not willing to go to for revenge and those stages were definitely over his tolerance level. 

...

...

Although it might have been funny to see the look on his hyungs' faces when he tried seducing them. 

Yay! 

I thought that I needed to write something funny and cracky after the last chapter. 

Hope you liked it!!