Alice wakes up to find herself beside a man. A man she is trying to remember.

It hit her head like a hammer hit a nail when she finally realizes that he is the man from the bar last night. It’s not a surprise to her that he is .

It is also not a surprise anymore when she realizes that she herself is as well. The cool morning air gently hitting her bare skin. She shivers at first, but she quickly adapts to it and she starts to stretch.

She yawns and rubs her eyes before picking her clothes up from the floor and starts dressing herself with it.

She walks to the bathroom – God knows where they are right now – to wash her face and gargle.

Alice looks at the unclothed man peacefully sleeping.

She’s not one of those heartless people who just leave without saying goodbye, is she? At least Alice has the courtesy to write him a note saying thanks and goodbye.

Now, Alice’s only problem is writing the name of the exposed man lying on the bed. She scratches her head, hoping some letters fall from her hair and perfectly arrange themselves to form the guy’s name.

Alice bites her lower lip as she tries hard to remember, because she was sure that she asked him first before agreeing to let him buy her a drink.

Alice sighs as she finally gives up on trying.

Instead, she writes: ‘I had a wonderful time, lovely resident of this lovely apartment.’

She laughs at the stupid things she already did this early in the morning.

“Better than nothing.” She convinces herself.

She finishes the lovely note by signing it with: ‘Alice ♥’

Alice looks one last time at the unclothed man peacefully sleeping on the bed. She smiles at the sight, as she thinks to herself,

“Another successful one-night stand.”

---

Alice has lost track of how many times she has done it, this kind of thing.

She admits to herself that maybe her morality really has depleted big time, and also maybe her sanity.

It has started to what was supposed to be a fun onetime thing curious people do, until it slowly developed into her habit, then to her routine. Until it became her life.

Don’t get Alice wrong though, she chooses who she’ll sleep with. She at least has standards she follows before agreeing with herself that she’s going to sleep with this person.

An example is that the person should be breathing. She’s not ready to practice necrophilia anytime soon.

Another of her standards is that the person should at least be pleasant to look at. If not, then the person should have a really, really, good personality to be able to sleep with Alice. She doesn’t like to be seen even for a second with someone who looks homeless. She points out that they should at least try to look like they’re not from the dumpster.

Though sometimes, Alice bend her rules if she suddenly had the urge to just do so.

It’s a disease, she admits.

She doesn’t know why she allowed this to happen to her, or why she still allows this to happen to her.

Maybe she knows why, she just doesn’t know what to do.

Alice doesn’t believe in love and in the magic that they said it brings.

She had relationships before but the things they said love would make her feel didn’t happen, and maybe it gave her disappointments.

To be fair with her, she never did like being in a committed relationship. She never liked the feeling of being tied down to anybody. She knows that she is free spirited and she deserves to enjoy her life as she pleases without anybody telling her what to do.

She doesn’t like taking care of anybody. She argues that she cannot even take care of herself, what more of others?

Being in love is the last thing Alice wants to happen to herself, and she might just be eating her own words soon.

---

Alice was patiently waiting at the counter for her order. She coolly taps the counter as she listens to the song that was playing. She bobs her head left and right as the rhythm picks up and suddenly she finds herself looking outside as she does.

She continues to play a concert in her head when she suddenly spots this beautiful lady with beautiful, long, black hair and beautiful doe-like eyes.

The music hasn’t stopped yet but Alice swears that it was silent for a second.

It’s not the first time Alice has seen someone beautiful, heck, she sleeps with them if given the chance. It was just that there was something the lady has that captivated Alice.

Alice did like seeing pretty girls.

Her wandering thoughts were stopped when the barista finally calls her attention.

“Thank you, handsome.” Alice says as she smiles and winks at the barista, leaving him a bright red.

---

It is not stalking, Alice convinces herself as she ‘accidentally’ follows the beautiful lady with the doe-eyes.

“It’s not wrong.” Alice continues to fool herself. She persuades herself in believing that there is nothing wrong in following the lady because they are going the same way, even though Alice normally takes the other way home.

It is also not wrong – Alice’s words – when Alice suddenly takes a sharp right as the pretty lady turns to see if someone is indeed following her.

It is still not wrong when Alice continues to follow her when the pretty lady started walking again.

Alice’s stalking was only stopped when she lost track of the beautiful girl as they reached an open place full of people.

Alice sighs. She doesn’t understand why she feels disappointed.

There are a lot more beautiful people in the world, she tells herself that,

Maybe to comfort her yearning heart.

---

Alice wakes up to find herself with another man beside her.

She knows her routines: yawn, stretch, rub eyes, pick clothes, dress, wash face, gargle, leave a poorly constructed note, leave the room, never look back and desperately pray that they’ll never cross roads ever again.

Alice was walking to her usual café, sunglasses on to hide her morning face, when her eyes averted themselves to a person passing by.

The doe-eyed girl.

Alice slowly raises her eyebrows to make sure. She’s too sober for this.

She yawns as she walks to the café. She was right. Her desire for the beautiful lady was just a one-time thing, like all of her one-night stands. She doesn’t care now where the lady will go; she is too sober for this.

“The usual, cutie.” She says to the barista who is mighty proud of all the cliché praises Alice gives him.

She doesn’t bob her head with the upbeat music that was playing in the café. She turns her head to the glass wall and sees the pretty lady looking for flowers on the shop across.

Behind her sunglasses, she starts to observe the other girl. Alice leans on the counter so she can steadily watch in amazement.

She fascinates Alice.

In some ways – a lot of ways – Alice finds herself mesmerized by that other girl.

“Do you think I can cancel my order of coffee and have an order of gin instead?” Alice playfully says to the barista once he got back with Alice’s usual drink.

The flustered barista is caught off guard as he stutters an answer, “W-Well, I already made your order, a-and we don’t sell l-liquor here.”

Alice charmingly giggles as she watches him squirm awkwardly.

“I’m just playing with you.” She finally says. A grown man peeing himself in uneasiness is way too early a scene for a perfect morning.

“Thanks, babe.” Alice grabs the coffee and gestures a flying kiss before heading outside with a smile.

---

Alice loiters by a street lamp. She slowly drinks her coffee as she watches the doe-eyed girl touch a flower before touching another one.

Alice smirks as she thinks how all girls are the same, “Choosy.”

She watches a few minutes now, and she’s getting tired. She can see that the other girl is having a hard time choosing which flower to buy.

“Why doesn’t she ask the goddamn vendor?” She says enough only for her to hear.

Maybe the beautiful girl is just a beautiful girl.

Alice thinks again if all the beautiful girls are all the same. “Why must they be that dumb?”

Alice may be vulgar on bed but she won’t take that attitude outside the bedroom, she decided to help.

---

“Excuse me.” Alice looks for the vendor. She’s not that desperate to talk to the pretty damsel in distress… yet.

She decides to play it safe by having her own demonstration of asking a vendor for what she wants. Maybe the other girl can follow.

“Excuse me.” Alice repeats as she curses inside how deaf of a vendor the owner of the shop is.

Alice has been way too long in this meet-me-catch-me game, and she knows an opportunity when she sees one.

The situation that she is in now is one, so she decides to play the game with the other girl.

“Is there anyone here?” She asks the pretty girl.

Poor pretty girl because she doesn’t know that Alice is already checking her head to toe beneath the latter’s sunglasses.

The question might have caught the pretty girl off guard because she only replies, “Ah.”

The smallest of the doe-eyes grows a little bit bigger for a split second. Because of shock, perhaps?

“I-I don’t thinks so.” The doe-eyed composes herself before looking at Alice’s eyes. If only she can find them behind those glasses. “I’ve been calling for quite some time now.”

Alice doesn’t reply immediately. She finds herself more amused than she expected. “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. What a waste, then.” Alice turns away; she’s playing the ‘not-the-easy-type’ character now. “They can lose customers if this continues.”

The other girl just giggled under her breath. “Maybe.”

The reply and the soft giggle made Alice turn back to the other girl. Now Alice really didn’t expect her to be this charming.

For her to be more captured than she already was with a single laughter? Something really is wrong with Alice’s system.

But she is still pro at this game she created and mastered, she asks, “What flowers are you looking for?”

The other girl touches another flower before replying, “I’m just looking at some to bring home.”

“Ah, for decoration?” Alice touches one as well. It was a white rose.

“Yes, and you?”

“Ah.” Now it was Alice who was caught off guard. She can’t probably say that she thought the other girl was stupid enough not to ask for help. So she says instead, “Same as you.”

“Really? Then, that’s great.” The other girl beams a smile. “Maybe I can ask for help from you instead.”

Alice tries hard not to be excited. She is now in the game.

“Sure thing.” Alice smiles, unknown to the other what plan Alice has in mind.

“Thank you!” The other girl turns to her as she stretches her hand, “I’m Ara, by the way.”

It takes Alice a second to enjoy the moment before taking her sunglasses off and stretches her own hand to shake the other’s,

“I’m Alice.”

---

“Be careful of your lifestyle.” A very good – and concerned – friend of Alice says. “Seriously, I’m beginning to think you sleep with people because you’re homeless and you have nowhere to sleep at.”

It made Alice laugh.

“It’s alright, Nara.” Alice continues running the treadmill. “We’re using protection.” She grins.

“Not only that, you dummy.” Nara leans on one of the handles of the treadmill. “Aside from the fact that you can get AIDS, is that you might ruin yourself emotionally.”

In which Alice scoffs as a response to that statement by Nara.

“Also your social life.” Nara adds.

“What’s with my social life?” Alice shrugs. “You know that I’m pretty social alright.”

Alice smirks again, “Yep, I’m pretty social alright. If you know what I mean.” She winks.

“Ugh!” Nara tosses her towel to her back as she starts going back to her work out. “Whatever suits you, blonde.” She turns to Alice and smiles back. “Just don’t come running to me when you run out of condoms.”

This resulted into an empty water bottle being tossed at a laughing Nara.

---

“Hello. We meet again, Alice.”

Alice nearly spits all her coffee out when she sees Ara standing beside her. Smiling like all the problems of the world about poverty and hunger don’t exist.

“H-Hey, nice to see you again.” Alice stands up from her seat outside the café. She wipes her nose in case some of the coffee decided to come out from there, “What brings you here?”

“I’m always here.” Ara says, still smiling. “My house is just some blocks away.” She points somewhere Alice assumes where her house is.

“Oh, really? That’s convenient.” Alice scratches the back of her head. She wasn’t nervous; she just doesn’t know how to act without having taken alcohol in, is all.

“Yes, and may I ask where you stay?” Ara turns her head slightly as she inquires.

“Um,” Alice lets her eyebrows meet. Now she’s thinking if what Nara said about her being homeless is true. “I think I also live nearby.”

“You… think?” Ara also lets her eyebrows meet.

Alice looks at Ara like Ara is the dumb person.

“No, no! I live some blocks away.” Alice clears her mind. “I was just from—” Alice can’t possibly say that she’s from a one-night stand, can she? “I was just from… a friend’s.”

“Oh.” Ara nods. “So, you come by the café every morning? Or am I just lucky to have met you again?” Ara smiles with a soft giggle that followed.

Now Alice is impressed. This Ara knows how to play, but smooth talk is beneath Alice’s level 1 of playing.

“Sorry but it seems your clover just ran out of luck,” Alice responds with a smile of her own, “I come here often.”

“Really?” Ara – to what seems to Alice was flirty – bats an eye. “Then we’ll meet each other more often as well.”

“Guess you’ll be lucky seeing me every day.” Alice giggles. Which surprised even herself because it was not those giggles that was begging to get laid, it was a genuine one.

Ara looks at her and smiles, “I can get used to that.”

Alice stiffens for a second, then she goes back to her normal predator self. She smiles, “Say, would you like to have coffee with me?”

---

Alice tries hard to keep her urges to herself. They’re not getting anywhere, and she’s clearly not getting anything. If this was in a bar, maybe she could have at least gone to second base with Ara already.

Yet, she knows that Ara is not that kind of girl. Not from how their conversation is going.

Alice is slowly starting to be patient with how slow the situation is going. She obviously is not getting Ara laid tonight.

Much to Alice’s surprise, she is kind of enjoying how things are going. She gradually admits that she misses talking to someone, without the constant and screaming.

Alice finds herself taking pleasure in just talking with Ara about things. Things like they talk about on dates.

Dates. How long has Alice been in a normal date? A date where alcohol wasn’t needed, where waking up on bed won’t be the only thing she’ll remember.

If that is what a date to Alice is, then she’s having one with Ara now.

When Alice realizes this, she quickly snaps out of her thoughts on how she is enjoying herself right now and makes up a lame excuse like,

“Yeah, hey, Ara.” Alice cuts Ara mid-sentence. “I realized I must go somewhere, like, right now. Not to be rude, or anything, but I must be rude because I should go. Now.”

Ara blinks more than required in shock, but then a giggle betrays her. “Oh, is that so? It’s alright, it’s okay.” She stands up, like her seat should give space to where Alice should walk upon.

“It’s nice talking with you.” Alice hurriedly straightens her shirt. “Well, goodbye. See you... I don’t know, soon?” Alice gives a quirky smile.

Ara but softly giggles again, “Tomorrow. Hopefully, tomorrow. I enjoyed spending time with you.” She stretches an arm as goodbye, “Honest.”

Alice smiles as she exhales, she reaches out for Ara’s hands when,

“You’re married?!” Alice quickly lets go to make sure that it’s a ring on Ara’s finger that she just felt a moment ago.

“Oh, yes. I mentioned it to you, yes?” Ara scrunches her eyebrows in confusion.

Alice tries to remember when in their conversation did Ara mention that she’s married. Maybe it was when Alice was thinking of what to do to Ara in bed when she finally has Ara drugged, drunk or unconscious.

“O-Oh, it must have slipped my mind.” Alice her hair out of her face. “R-Really? You’re already married?” She reaches for Ara’s hand and inspects the ring.

“Yes, for 2 happy years already.” Ara beams. “But more on that the next time, you’re already running late.” She pats Alice’s hands.

“Huh?” Alice asks.

“You must go somewhere, remember?”

It smacks Alice on the head when she remembers the lie she said. She forgets how being with Ara feels like being on a date, being in a relationship. Though once she knew that Ara’s married, that feeling of fear turns into a challenge.

Now Alice is back to her old self, “Oh, yeah! Darn! Well, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Alice pecks Ara’s cheek. A very low antic when you’re obviously flirting with someone.

Though that someone is a girl, and is happily married.

Except that the other party is Alice, and being a girl is just something that grinds her up more. Something that excites her more,

Especially when you’re married.

---

Alice winds up on another person’s bed. Though this time, it’s a girl she wakes up to.

The thought of having Ara screaming her name in pleasure was too much for her and she has to turn that feeling to another person for the meantime, and here she is.

There was one embarrassing moment that happened that night, though. Instead of Alice calling the girl’s name during , she accidentally screamed out ‘Ara’.

“Stupid.” She smiles as she recalls that moment.

She looks at the lamp table and sees an almost empty pack of cigarettes. She takes one to light and the remaining to pocket.

Once she’s done her routine, she leaves the building more eager than usual.

---

“Hello, beautiful.” Alice smoothly slides to a seat across Ara who was peacefully reading a book.

“And hello to you, too.” Ara smiles as a greeting as she casually puts the book aside.

“Have you waited long?” Alice flips her hair. Another cheap trick.

Though Ara hasn’t noticed, “No, not really. What do you want to drink?”

“The cutie over there knows already.” Alice puts her crossed arms forward and leans on them as she an eyebrow towards the barista who was already checking her out.

“Ooh. Been eyeing on him lately?” Ara asks as she modestly turns to look at the barista before saying cheekily, “I think he likes you back.”

Alice sneers, “Oh, please. He’s nowhere near my type.”

“Oh, really?” Now it’s Ara who leans forward with a mischievous smile on her lips, “What’s your type, then?”

Alice naughtily smiles back, “You.”

This made Ara raise an eyebrow, but her smile stays on her lips. “I know.” She giggles, which makes Alice giggle back.

“Though it flatters me,” Ara continues, “I can’t bring you home as my loving girlfriend since, well, my husband is there.” She says in gritted teeth, which makes Alice smile wider.

Ara continues, “He might check you out, and heck, he might be my competition. And I clearly can’t afford that! I mean,” She gestures to herself, “Look at me. He might steal you any time.”

Alice loses it, she laughs. Heartily. So does Ara.

Alice never expected Ara to have this kind of humour.

“You .” Alice wipes a tear off her eye. “I’m going to order.”

Alice then turns back to Ara, “Or you know, flirt a little more with the barista.”

She giggles, and again, so does Ara.

---

“So, being married,” Alice stirs her drink. “How’s it like?”

“Well, for starters, being married is just like when you’re in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. It’s just that you wake up to that person every day.” Ara shrugs. “And sleep with them. Every day.”

“So… monogamy, right?” Alice twitches a corner of her lips just saying the word ‘monogamy’ like venom.

“Of course, monogamy.” Ara lightly taps Alice’s hand as she laughs.

“Isn’t it kind of boring?” Alice drinks from her coffee. “Seeing the same person every single day, being with them every day. God, just the thought of it gives me shivers.” Alice hugs herself.

“It’s not like that.” Ara stirs her drink as well. “If it’s with the right person,” She looks at Alice before continuing,

“Then it won’t feel like that.”

---

Alice still don’t get why people decide to get married.

“Did you just wake up and realize, ‘Ah, I want to get married today’?” Alice innocently asks. She really doesn’t get these things.

“No, of course not, silly!” Ara tries to keep a giggle from coming out, “Well, I’m not one of those people, I think.”

Though it was Alice who giggles after that.

“I think it was already agreed upon, you know, with my husband and I.” Ara looks out the glass wall. Alice knows that her thoughts are somewhere where her husband is, and it makes her feel uneasy for some reason.

Ara continues, “We were childhood friends, high school and college sweethearts, workmates.”

“Wow, that long already?” Alice asks in amazement.

“Yep.” Ara stares back at Alice, “I guess we’re some of the few lucky ones who met their true love when they were still 5 years old.” She smiles.

That made Alice look down on her drink, “Huh. So guess I’m one of those unfortunate ones who are already in their mid-twenties and still hasn’t figured life out.”

“No, you’re not. I didn’t mean it like that.” Ara holds Alice’s hand and gently squeezes it. “Yours is still out there, I don’t know, maybe having this talk as well or trying to figure out life as well.” She gives one of those captivating smiles again.

So Alice smiles back in return.

“I’m actually quite surprised you don’t have a boyfriend. I mean, look at you!” Ara indicates at the whole of Alice to emphasize her point. “You’re beautiful, you’re charming, not to mention funny and witty. You’re the whole package!”

“Ara, if you were not married, I’d actually think you’re hitting on me.” Alice naughtily grins again.

“Who knows? Maybe I am.” Ara returns the naughty smile to Alice.

“If you continue this, I might really jump on you, married or unmarried.” Alice playfully threatens Ara.

“Wait, let me prepare myself then.” Ara sits properly as to play along with Alice.

Alice laughs out loud. “Ah! What am I to do with you? Why are you better than me?”

“I’ve been practicing.” Ara shrugs rather proudly.

In that moment, Alice could swear that she’s genuinely happy.

And she knows she will never get out of this trap she set herself into.

---

“What?!” Ara’s doe-eyes instantly got bigger the moment Alice decides to tell her what the latter does as a habit; sleep with people.

“I mean,” Ara looks about herself, “Why?!”

“Why not?” Alice shrugs.

“Yeah, but,” Ara leans closer, “Why?”

“For fun.” Alice finishes her drink, “And because I’m bored.”

“Wow, better tell me when you’re bored already so I can get you a cab.” Ara snickers.

Alice just smiles at Ara’s statement.

“Isn’t it lonely?” Ara asks innocently, but it wasn’t to Alice.

It made Alice think back to the times where she parties all night and go with different people every night and having to wake up with different people every day. It made her think back to the times where she’s actually in bed, having what she believes is a form of having fun.

Was she happy? Is she happy?

“No, it’s not lonely.” Alice says sheepishly. “I’m pretty sure you’ve had before, and it’s nowhere near lonely.” She darts back to Ara thinking she could turn the situation around.

A flustered Ara blinks rapidly again. She clears first before speaking, “Not… ,” She pauses before saying the actual word which ultimately makes Alice widely smile.

“Not… alone,” Ara continues, “Don’t you get lonely?”

Again, Alice thinks for a moment.

“I’m not lonely.” Alice finally answers. “Why would I be lonely? I like, no, scratch that, I love how my life is going right now. Why would I get lonely?”

“I don’t know,” Ara cowers a little, “Isn’t it better if someone takes care of you for the long run and you feel the same? Don’t you get tired of just meeting somebody and then having to say goodbye to them the very next day, no, the very next morning?”

“No!” Alice says a little bit louder, “I mean, no.” She says calmly now, “It’s how I always wanted it. I never wanted to be tied down. I actually don’t get why there are people who likes being committed. How about you? Don’t you get tired?”

“What will I be tired of?” Ara burrows her eyebrows.

“Of being married! Don’t you get tired of being with the same person every day for the rest of your life? Having to talk to them about how your day has gone when you basically have spent it with that person already? Don’t you get tired of constantly checking up on them? Of taking care of them? Don’t you get tired of the same routines? Don’t you get tired of being with that same person?!” Alice spits all of it out like it’s poison in .

Ara just looks at her, and Alice swears that there was something in Ara’s eyes. It was pity.

Because Ara simply says, “Isn’t that the whole point of marrying that person?”

Alice could only look back at Ara, unsure of what to say next.

Ara looks down, “Isn’t that the whole point of marriage? To be with that person for the rest of your life? Not because you needed to, but because you wanted to.

“Alice, it may be difficult for you to understand now. Maybe because you haven’t met that person yet; but trust me, when you do, you’ll know.” Ara smiles at Alice.

Alice knows that Ara is sincere. Yet, she also knows that she is still far from feeling that.

At least that’s what Alice thought.

---

“Hey, Nara. Guess what?” Alice says as she punches the sandbag.

“You finally have STD?” Nara continues with her sit-ups.

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