Living in the same neighborhood, seeing each other every single day, being best friends with him...

I'm basically in love with my best friend, who's in love with someone else.. our other best friend.. It's honestly kind of sad. The three of us hang out daily, but I always feel like I'm the third wheel. Your attention goes to her, and only her. Your eyes, that are looking at me, aren’t the same as when you’re looking at her. Am I invisible to you? Am I not a woman in your eyes? 

We always say how much we love each other, but you don't know that I love you in a different way. You do not realize how much I look at you. I try to hide my feelings as deep as possible, but the more I hang out with you, the more I fall. My love for you grows deeper and deeper, and you don't even realize it. You only realize what she does. Are we really friends? Should I just stop being your friend? 

I honestly can't.. I really want to, but I can't.. As long as you live in the same street as me, I won't ever get over you. It's very sad to know how you feel.. It hurts to hear we're just friends.. How is it possible for me to stay your friend, when I'm in love with you?

Though it hurts a lot, I can't turn away from you. This hopeless love only hurts and it's doing me no good, but I can't turn away.. 

The word "best friend" doesn't mean a thing to me. I feel like we're only hanging out, so you can hang out with her. Am I just an object for you to use whenever you feel like it? 

If you're wondering if I have confessed yet.. No, I have not. Has he confessed to her yet? No, he has not, but the way he interacts with her gives it away. He holds her hand, and only her hand. He looks at her lovingly, and only at her. He hugs her tight, and only her. His attention goes to her, and only her. Isn't that enough evidence that he likes her? A guy can't be more obvious, can he? His body language says it all. 

I can't cross the "friendship"-line, because that will hurt two other people. I can't be selfish in this love triangle, because I'm risking two other people's feelings. Being selfish is a big "no". How can I hurt two other people? I'm not a mean person. I'd much rather let them live peacefully together, than break all of our hearts. I'm the only person in the way, so this would all be solved if I leave, right? Leaving.. that's the best solution. I wouldn't be in their way and they could live happily ever after. Ideal, isn't it? This way, only one heart gets broken. If I decide to be selfish, three hearts and a friendship will be broken. I do not want to risk that. If I just leave quietly, there's no one to stop me. 

Besides, I already planned everything. I told my parents, I told my schoolfriends and I told the parents of my best friends. I also wrote a letter, which mom is gonna put in his mail for me. Everything is already planned. The only thing left to do, is to actually leave. Just in case, I also bought a new sim card and got a new phone number, so they won't be able to contact me. At least there's something I'm good at. I'm great at planning and at avoiding people. 

It will take me a while to get over this, but moving into a different environment will help me a lot. Maybe, I'll even find a new love, a new best friend.. a new life..