chansoo / kaisoo

Yes I'm smiling, but you're not the reason
Yes I'm smiling, but it will never be the same without you



It's been years and everything already return to it's place but Kyungsoo can still feel those power in his hands. The strength, it's still there but there's nothing he can do. Sometimes, the powers will take over him and that's the reason why he still in hidden all this days.

Just like others, his eleven brothers, they also hidden without tell each other where did there go and the reason why each one of them want to leave alone.

He wrapped his arms around his body tightly, try to make his body as small as possible. It's cold, the warmth that he always had before is gone and refused to be with him. 

"Kyungsoo? What are you doing down there?" those voice who he hope belong to him but it's not, come closer to him slowly. 

'Ahh..I forgot. He's here instead of him,' Kyungsoo looked up to the tan man before smile softly, he want it to seem sincere but he knows it will never be. Even Jongin know it's not.

It's been awhile since they leave together. He thought 'he' the one who come but it's Jongin instead. He wonder why the younger is there but the answer he got from other didn't even surprised him anymore.

"I love you, hyung. Let me stay." Jongin say those words with gentleness in his voice and those eyes look straight into him sincerely.

It's selfish for Kyungsoo since he knew there's someone out there love Jongin more than he do but he need the other. He need Jongin to help him not thinking or doing anything stupid.

Kyungsoo know he will never do something like that but in the same time, he's scared of himself. The loneliness is scary and you will never know what will happen to yourselves in those years you spent alone.

"Hyung? Kyungsoo hyung? What happen?" the sudden closeness make his hand act on their own with reflect to slap the other face away from him.

He gasped and Jongin's stunned in his place but slowly turn towards the older and smile softly. Kyungsoo always have those emotionless facade he's wearing all the time. But when he saw Jongin in that state, he want to cry.

'I'm really a terrible person,' he thought without realized he already in a mess, the tears keep rolling down towards his face which make Jongin shocked at the sudden situation.

"Hyung? Don't cry. I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong? It's not that hurt. Don't cry, okay? I know you didn't mean too," there's a hint of concern in Jongin's eyes.

He really felt terrible at that moment. The earth slightly shaken and he knows it's his own doing. His always can't control his power whenever he's crying.

The sudden warmth that surround him make he slightly calm down. The warmth is different but it's still make him felt comfortable and at ease.

Jongin's like a light and he's seem like a darkness. Jongin always want to make people felt at ease and happy but he always want people felt the pain and make others fall down into those darkness with him.

Just like what he do to Jongin at the moment. He didn't want the light that surround Jongin to end but at the same time he want to steal it and let Jongin fall down into those darkness alone.

The other say that he's love him but Kyungsoo can't believe that. Not after someone say that them loves him but still leave him alone. Just like what Chanyeol did. Yes, Park Chanyeol the phoenix which control the elment of fire.

Kyungsoo loves the other too much but with Jongin beside him at this moment, it's make him felt confused. He still trying to make Jongin hate him but no matter what he do, the other always treat him nice.

That's why Kyungsoo hate Jongin that he felt he might killed the younger one day.

"Hyung. Don't cry anymore. I'm here. Let me stay here. I'm here for you, always," those words make Kyungsoo cry even  more.

'Why? How could I? What had he done wrong? I shouldn't even thinking about killing him. Oh my, what a horrible person am I?' he hugged Jongin tighter and hope that he can held the other close to himself for himself.

"It is a selfish things by stay by my side forever. Don't try or thinks to leave me if I didn't let you go. Stay until I didn't need you," he whisper those words cruely near the younger's ears and all he got is a kiss on his forehead. 

A long one and he can felt that Jongin's smile between those kissed.

"I will not and will never even if you didn't need me anymore after this." that's the only respond he got from the younger before fall asleep because of the tiredness he felt from before.

The grip on the younger's shirt still being held tight in his grasp. No matter what, he will not leave the other go. It's a selfish things but at least he want to feel how to be love by someone else and how to be care by someone else. Without a second thought, he knows that Jongin is the most suit person to do that.

'Love me until you die and love me even though I let you go.'

a/n: At first I don't know how to start and every story that I do always follow what I felt and what I thought at the moment. So, this is the result and hope you guys enjoy it! Sorry for being lack in writing and the story! :)