Sunmi watched me prepare our Christmas dinner. She begged me to let her help, but I told her to just sit back and let me take care of everything for her. It was really nice to have her watch me and talk to me while I cooked. It made me feel like we were married.

                “What are you smiling for, oppa?” she asked sweetly. My face turned bright red and I shook my head to dismiss her concerns. I hadn’t gotten used to her calling me “oppa” yet.

                She rested her cheek on her hand and continued to observe me for a few minutes before asking me where I learned how to cook. I could feel her big, curious eyes on me, following my every move and waiting for me to reply.

                “My cook taught me a lot,” I answered simply while peeling the potatoes.

                “You had a cook?” she replied incredulously. She let out a sigh and mumbled under her breath, “That must have been nice.”

                I couldn’t help myself from reaching out to pinch her cheek. She was so precious. She scrunched her nose and gave me a look that made my heart stop, not just because it was the cutest thing, but because it made me feel really close to her. I felt like we were close enough to share looks with each other and have inside jokes and be in our own world, which I guess we kind of were as long as we were in this house together. I never wanted to leave.

                “Seriously, oppa. Why are you smiling so much today?” she asked again.

                “It’s nothing,” I mumbled. She pursed her lips and started walking around the kitchen, opening and closing every drawer and cabinet. When she was finished looking through the kitchen, she wandered into the living room and started looking around in there. After a few minutes, I heard the T.V. turn on.

                “Wow! There’s so many channels!” I heard her exclaim from the living room. I chuckled quietly to myself. I quickly finished cutting up the other ingredients and put the turkey in the oven. I went into the living room and found her fixated on the T.V. screen.

                “We’re here at Duckling Park for the candle vigil for 18 year old Kim Sunmi who is still missing as of now. Kim Sunmi disappeared on the night of November 8^th after she left her part-time job at the Coffee Bean where she was last seen. We’re joined here tonight by her friends, family, and other sympathetic members of her community,” the reporter stated. Her family appeared on screen in front of all the lighted candles in the background. I clenched my fists when her parents took the microphone from the reporter to speak.

                “Sunmi-ah, please come home soon. We think about you every day and we can only hope that you’re ok. We love you, Sunmi. We’ll be waiting for your safe return,” Jinae cried into the microphone while her dad stoically stood beside her and comforted her. I felt an overwhelming need to go to that park to punch them. The next person to take the microphone was her oldest brother.

                “Noona, hurry home! We miss you! We promise to eat all of our vegetables if you come home! We won’t misbehave anymore and we’ll keep our room clean,” he bargained tearfully. I looked over to Sunmi and saw that she was now right in front of the T.V. monitor, tearfully the screen, as if she could touch her siblings through the screen. One of her younger sisters then took the mic and added on, “We’ll do our homework when you tell us to, unnie. Please come home soon, unnie. We miss you!”

                The focus shifted back to the reporter who briefly repeated the information about Sunmi. She scooted back from the T.V. and quietly cried, probably not knowing that I was standing right behind her.

                Suddenly, another guy interrupted the reporter and took her mic from her.

                “Sunmi…Sunmi-ah,” he started uneasily. At the sound of his voice, Sunmi immediately looked back up to the screen and stared at it with wide eyes. “If you’re watching this, just know that I love you Sunmi and I hope you’re safe wherever you are. I just want you to be safe and healthy and if you are, then call me Sunmi. Let me know you’re safe and healthy; that’s all I care about. I’ll be waiting for you, Sunmi. I love you so much.”

                Sunmi stared at the screen longingly and reached out to touch it again. Something about the way she looked at the guy compared to how she looked at her family made me feel unsettled. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how they were all telling lies and I didn’t like how easily she believed them. The reporter hastily finished her segment, probably trying to avoid any other interruptions. It irked me to see Sunmi’s eyes searching the background for him. Sunmi was mine.

                I grabbed the remote control and turned off the T.V. She turned around and gasped when she saw me standing behind her.

                “L-Le-Leo oppa,” she stammered. “How long have you been—“

                “They’re lying to you, Sunmi,” I told her. “Those were all lies, and you know it. They’re trying to manipulate you. They’re trying to make everything seem alright, but you know it’s better here with me. Right, Sunmi? You know that I’ll take care of you here and they won’t. They’ll use you and throw you away, but I’ll never do that. That’s the truth, Sunmi.”

                She looked up at me with her tear-stained cheeks and red, swollen eyes. “I-I know. I’m better off here, w-with you. You saved me.”

~~~~~

December 24, 2014,

                It hasn’t even been two months since Leo oppa took me, but why did Dongj D, Y, M, H, and K look so different. It didn’t feel like I was really looking at them and hearing them talk, it felt like a dream. And H oppa. H oppa looked so thin and tired. I hope he’s staying healthy. I miss them so much. Leo oppa made me forget how much I missed them.

                Leo oppa was really scary when he turned off the T.V. Why do I feel like the Leo who nursed me back to health and took care of me this whole time isn’t as sweet and gentle as I thought he was? He looked ready to hurt me tonight. I don’t doubt that he could hurt me badly if he wanted to. But I’m being ridiculous because Leo oppa loves me and he would never want to hurt me. He said so from the very beginning.

                H oppa said he loves me too. He really said it. He said he would be waiting for me. I have to find a way to call him. I need to tell him not to worry because I’m safe with Leo oppa. I’m better off with Leo oppa. Leo oppa saved me. Leo oppa loves me and I love him.