Everytime I walk pass my bookshelf, I see my old scrapbook. It holds my memories from way back to my younger days -- when I was a little girl, when I went to school, when I got selected as a trainee in TS until I debuted as Secret.

 

Everytime I see this scrapbook, regardless of how tired I am when I reach home, I would open it up and read it, flashing back on those wonderful memories of a carefree childhood, schooling, a period of hardcore but enjoyable training.

 

--flashback--

 

Since young, my parents left me in a car accident so my grandparents raised me up. Unfortunately, my grandad died of cancer when I was 15 and my grandmother left this world a year after that...

 

"Hyosung, take good care.... of yourself.... eat well and don't.... stress out over.... training.... halmoni.... loves.... you...." those were her last words to me.

 

From then on, I felt like I was alone in the world and no one would love me. Despite being surrounded by friends and have suitors, I never felt loved by anyone and never loved anyone

 

--end of flashback--

 

Today, when I reached home. I opened by scrapbook and the pages magically fell into place on a certain page. And that certain page once again brought by great memories of high school...

 

--flashback--

 

I moved to Seoul for high school from my hometown from Cheongju to study. I was so unfamiliar with everything and I didn't know anyone there. Seoul was pretty but nice scenery wouldn't make me feel loved. But he changed everything...

 

He was the first to "talk" to me on the first day of high school.

Hello, can I be your friend?

I looked at him, confused, but he just smiled at me. I saw a sincere smile, not like those I saw in Cheongju -- ones that wanted to be my friend because I was "popular" or "hot". I hesitantly nodded my head and once again he smiled. This time, I smiled back.

 

--end of flashback--

 

I smile in remembrance while flipping to the next page pf the scrapbook...

 

--flashback--

"Ha! Jun Hyosung's a fat bear!"

 

"Her gummy smiles are like eww.. Ugly much!"

 

"Her dress sense is horrible too..."

 

All those insults and remarks they made affected me really badly. It was after the Christmas holidays and I had indulged a little and put on a little bit of weight. Well, it was only a little, not enough to become a bear or hippo.

 

Depressed, I walked to my favourite tree in the campus and texted him to meet me there -- yes, since high school day one, he became my best friend.

 

I heard footsteps approaching and soon a pair of feet with yellow sneakers stopped in front of me. I looked up and saw him. He looked down and saw me -- a me with a puffy face from crying and eyes with tears threatening to fall any sooner. He dropped to his knees and buried my face into his shirt, letting me cry freely, and afterwards comforted me.

 

Why do you care about what those people say?

 

"What if what they say is true? What if the company I'm training in doesn't want me anymore because I'm fat?"

 

You're not fat. You're not ugly. Your smile is beautiful and your company will not reject you! Have faith in yourself that you can do it and I know you can (:

 

"Thanks(: "

 

Oh by the way, you look really ugly when you cry.

 

"Ya! Didn't you say I wasn't ugly? Tch, so much for being a friend..."

 

I didn't mean it that way! I meant you shouldn't cry anymore. Don't cry next time, and forever.

 

"But what if..."

 

I'll stay beside you now and forever, to cheer you up! So that you won't cry anymore.

 

"... (':"

 

At the moment, while looking into his eyes, I saw sincerity and something else -- I couldn't tell what it was. But at that very moment, I felt contented and loved.

 

--end of flashback--

 

He thought me not to take others' opinions and get depressed over them but to look at the opinions like comments to improve myself to become a better person.

 

Next page...

 

--flashback--

 

One day after school, he sent me a text message.

 

Hyo, pick you up after your training. Have something important to tell you.

 

So after training, we went to eat dinner then to a nearby park. Just as I was about to sit down, he grabbed my hand.

 

I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?

 

I was really shocked. I never thought that the look I always saw in his eyes was love.

 

"I'm sorry... But I need to think about it for a while..."

 

Sure...

 

With that, he left.

 

Did I think of him like more than just a friend or was he just a brother that I could rely on?

 

I wasn't sure, but I didn't want to break his heart either.

 

The next day...

 

"Hey, I've made up my mind."

 

.....

"I accept."

 

Ne?

 

"What? Do you not want me as your girlfriend anymore?"

 

Hyosung-ah, don't force yourself or pity me... It won't be worth it...

 

"Who says I'm forcing myself and who said I pity you?"

 

He just smiled sadly and turned around to walk away. I was at a loss of what to do.

 

I hurriedly pulled him towards me and hugged him tightly, refusing to let him go.

 

"From now onwards, I will hold onto you tightly and never let you go... Understand?"

 

Tears fell down both our cheeks and those were tears of happiness.

 

--end of flashback--

 

He taught me how to love again in my loneliness and brought light to my world of darkness

 

Next page...

 

--flashback--

 

After accepting him into my life as the role of my boyfriend, my life became happier and I grew to truly love him in this relationship.

 

It was our 6th monthsary which happened to fall on his birthday too.

 

While celebrating with a dinner and cake, he suddenly asked me some weird questions.

 

Why did you accept me as your boyfriend back then?

 

I frowned, thinking, "Why ask that kind of question now?"

 

Don't you think I have lots of flaws? And don't you think I'm not worthy of your love?

 

I shook my head rapidly, and his hair.

 

"Baby, I accepted you because I loved you and I always will -- forever and always"

 

--end of flashback--

 

He taught me that love is accepting the other person's flaws. Love is not caring whether you show the other person your vulnerable side.

 

Next page...

 

--flashback--

 

"Hmph.. Do you really have to go?" I pouted and did aegyo.

 

Sorry baby but yes I have to go...

 

"Arraso.. Annyeong..."

 

He had to go back to his hometown for some family stuff. I wanted to follow along too but the company wouldn't let me take a few days rest.

 

"The flight for Jellado is open for boarding. Passengers..."

 

I didn't hear the rest of the announcement. I just knew he was going. He was leaving me for a whole month.

 

The days passed slowly, classes were a dread and it was not the same without the expectation to see him everytime after training.

 

Sooner or later, I some how survived 29 days of suffering and he was finally coming back!

 

That day, I remember jumping out of bed, full of excitement to see him after a whole month.

 

I went early to the airport to wait for his arriving flight.

 

"The plane from Cheongju has arrived. All passengers please proceed to the conveyor belt to collect your baggage. Thank you."

 

I heard yet another announcement of a flight of which wasn't his. I had been waiting for 3 hours. Surely, he would have arrived already.

 

"The plane from Jellado.."

 

Finally! I sprung out of my seat happily and almost ran to the arrival waiting area.

 

"I repeat, the plane from Jellado has met with an accident on the way back to Incheon. Staff assistance is required immediately. All staff please report to..."

 

Oh my gosh... That was his flight! What if any thing happened to him? What if he got injured so badly? What if... he left me and never would come back again?

 

Tears were at the brim of my eyes, so close to falling out but then I remembered what he said

 

You're not fat. You're not ugly. Your smile is beautiful and your company will not reject you! Have faith in yourself that you can do it and I know you can (:

 

Oh by the way, you look really ugly when you cry.

 

I didn't mean it that way! I meant you shouldn't cry anymore. Don't cry next time, and forever.

 

I'll stay beside you now and forever, to cheer you up! So that you won't cry anymore.

 

Ya! Don't die or else you can't keep your promise to me anymore...

 

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Those tears that I held in all that while rushed out -- tears of joy. Everyone, except him, died in the airplane crash. I know I should be selfish but that was enough for me. However, his head might have hit something hard and the doctor said he might have some concussion or whatever.

 

I literally dashed into the room he was in after the doctor finished telling me about his condition.

 

I hugged him tightly and a big smile appeared in my face.

 

"Ya, I almost thought you died! How are you now?"

 

He gave me a blank expression, with eyes wide opened.

 

"Erm... Who are you? Do I know you?"

 

"...."

 

I was stunned. Immediately, tears welled up in my eyes and splashed down my cheeks -- those tears were tears of joy. You may ask me why and I'd tell you that he finally could speak.

 

--end of flashback--

 

He taught me that love is selfless -- it does not care about myself but the other person. It has the best of the other person at heart instead of the best of myself at heart.

 

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He taught me how to love. He taught me about love. And he taught me that love never fails.

 

He was mute but now he could speak.

 

It's ok if he didn't remember me, because I forever will remember him. And forever, I will love him.