It was one of those days again.

 

The slightly cold wind brushed against the rich treetops and forced some of the leaves to detach themselves from the crown of the majestic oak standing in all its glory at the end of the street. Slowly floating through the air, dancing and swirling around, they kind of resemble the beautiful white flakes in winter, descending gracefully down to earth.

In all their complexity the dark green leaves make their way down, down, down till they meet the rough surface of the asphalt, still looking as elegant as when they were a part of the big, old oak. Nobody seemed to notice the playful leaves being blown away and falling down right in front of their way as they basked in the warm caress of the early rays of sun with closed eyes, crushing them in the process.

 

A window at a nearby apartment was slightly opened to let the fresh spring air fill its rooms with oxygen. A person tiredly walked through the expanse of the little kitchen to retrieve the well needed coffee beans. Pulling the packet out of the shelf the person put a handful into the coffee machine and put it to life. The machine crushed the roasted beans and soon a wonderful, relaxing aroma filled the air. Soon the gurgling sound of hot water was heard and a few seconds later freshly brewed coffee filled the big red mug almost up to the brim. Sighing, the person took the mug and walked straight to the living room, sipping from time to time from the hot beverage and plopped down onto the black sofa. The person didn't bother to turn the television on, for it only replayed some stupid gaming and survival shows which he got sick of quite some time ago. Leaning back against the fluffy surface and slightly sinking into it, the person started thinking and heaved a sigh right away.

 

Indeed, it was one of those days again.

 

For the people out there, time couldn't go slow enough because there is just too much to do and the day only had 24 hours. Preparing breakfast for hungry children, getting ready for school, speeding down the street to be on time for an important meeting, scurrying down the college halls and fighting against the mass of people. There's just not enough time and it just so seems to fly away.

 

However, time seems to be dragging on for that lone figure sitting on the couch in front of the televison, drinking lukewarm coffee and listening to the birds singing just outside the window, while reminiscing.

 

~~~~~~

 

„Hey! Hey you! Come back here! YAH! You little-“

 

„No can do, hyung. No can do“ a mischievous maknae laughed hysterically in the face of his hyung while running away and hiding.

 

„What is wrong with you?! Why would you paint a fake moustache on my face?! YAH, I'm talking to you! Don't ignore me!“

 

„Hyung, please, shut up. We're trying to concentrate here, you know? Oh, and by the way, that's not a moustache“ his slightly younger friend told him in a matter-of-factly way, still focusing on his video game.

 

„Yeah he's right. It's not a moustache.“

 

„Hm...but what is it then?“

 

„A goatee?“

 

„Almost. It's slightly different..“

 

His friends' nonchalant conversation about this fake something on his face was unnerving him slightly and made his brow twitch in annoyance.

 

„It's not important what this thing is called! Gosh, you guys are so annoying! Where is that maknae, I'm going to-“

 

„Yo, chillax. At least it's not permanent, right? Come on, sit down. I think it suits you somehow.“

 

„...Yeah, you're right. And thanks, I guess?“ He slowly made his way towards the couch and plopped down onto it, watching his friends playing a racing game on his games console.

 

„Hey! Jungkook! You can come out now, he's not going to kill you today!“

 

„Phew, thank you Yoongi hyung. I thought I was done for“ a sheepish maknae came out of the kitchen and rubbed his neck.

 

Comfortable silence ensued and the other five continued to play in a concentrated manner, sometimes cursing each other, while the other two cheered them on excitedly.

 

„I'm curious. Why did you paint a moustache or whatever on Joonies face? And where'd you find that marker, I don't remember having any here“ the oldest asked Jungkook and eyed him out of the corner of his eyes.

 

„Well...I was bored out of my mind waiting for my turn to play and Joon hyung was sleeping so I took my chance“ he laughed evilly.

 

„Har har. So funny“ Namjoon rolled his eyes but faintly smiled.

 

„Oh and to your question hyung. It's true that you don't have semi-permanent marker pens. I used a permanent one.“

 

The once silent living room was now filled with desperate cries of a maknae that's being choked by a furious hyung and the laughter of the remaining ones.

 

Sometimes he thought of his friends being annoying, even a nuisance at times.

Now, he wishes the laughter, the cries and yells all back. He wishes for everything to be as it once was. He wishes for that harmonious sound to come back and fill the total expanse of his living room with it, brightening his now dark days to a beautiful and pleasant summer day.

 

But he knows that it's impossible.

 

~~~~~~

 

He hears them. He hears them again. Oh how he missed the melodious tones coming from his friends' mouths'. It was quite a long time since he last saw them. He put down his empty mug and stood up, speed-walking to the door. He was so eager to let his friends into his home again that his heart beat much faster than normal. Finally reaching the door, he unlocked it and swung it wide open.

 

„Hey boys! I'm glad you came!“ he exclaimed in delight.

 

„Wow. It's a surprise for you to be that happy to see us, hyung“ the second youngest suspiciously uttered.

 

„Tae's right. You're being so sappy sometimes. It's just been some days since we last met“ Jimin chuckled and let himself in.

 

They all strolled into his spacy apartment and occupied his black couch and floor talking to each other about a concert that's going to take place in Seoul next week.

 

„I really want to go there! The tickets are expensive though...“ Jungkook mentions sadly.

 

„I think they're worth the money. Their music is great and so catchy.“

 

„They could work on their rap though. It's lacking a bit“ Namjoon added thoughtfully.

 

„Sheesh, Namjoon. Not everybody is as good as you. You self-proclaimed 'Rap Monster'“ Hoseok cackled and evaded a flying cushion that came his way.

 

„Yo, hyung, do you have something to drink?“

 

„Sure, you can help yourself in the kitchen“ the host replied politely.

 

„Yah, J-Horse, get me something to drink too!“

 

„Naw, don't think so“ Hoseok retorted and proceeded on his way to get a refreshment.

 

„If you ask me, we should definitely go to the concert. The choreography is always on point and matches their themes well.“

 

„I agree with Jimin. Besides, there's this one guy that looks a bit like Tae. He wants to meet this guy so badly, right Taehyungie?“ And so the teasing commenced.

 

It was always like this. Them barging into his apartment, arguing over their little antics, hogging all the food and drinks they can find, teasing the younger ones and more arguing and yelling and screaming until his ears hurt.

 

He liked it. He liked it so very much that his heart swelled from happiness and a big smile stretched painfully across his face. But that pain is nothing against the pain he felt when he left to get some more snacks only to return to an empty living room.

 

He let the bag of chips slip from his fingers and slowly made his way to his couch. He fell into the comfy lounge and let his sad gaze wander from the television, to the console that lay on the ground with a layer of dust on it and finally, his look stopped at the abandoned red mug on his table. He sighed, picked it up and walked to his kitchen to wash it up and put it into the cupboard. It was already late, the moon rising. He didn't seem to notice.

 

It might seem that time flew for Jin. On the contrary, it ticked away slowly for him, inflicting more and more pain to him as the hour hands moved and filled his quiet apartment with an appalling noise that made him go crazy inside.

Reaching his bedroom, Jin fell face first into his comfortable bed, drifting into a fitful sleep and battling with his unpleasant dreams until the sun starts to rise slowly, announcing the beginning of a new day.

 

For Jin however, it was the continuation of his nightmares.

 

~~~~~~

 

„Hey Doc, what's up with him? He said he'll be weird for a few days because of his temperature...but is that normal?“ Yoongi was very concerned for his friend at this moment.

 

Jin fell sick a few days prior, playing it down and claiming that it was just a cold and that the fever will subside in a few days. It has been a week now and he still hasn't gotten any better. It was getting worse and worse and his friends were desperate.

 

„Yeah, he said he will be hallucinating or something because of the high temperature. The thing is that he isn't cooling down and it has been a week already...“ Jungkook sadly added.

 

The doctor nodded his head in understanding and continued reading the files given to him by a nurse 5 minutes ago. Flicking through them again a second time he looked up to the six worried boys and spotted a seemingly knocked out Jin on a hospital bed. He put his spectacles on the bridge of his nose and looked them into the eyes.

 

„Indeed, he came here a week ago and complained about insomnia, headaches and feeling weak for a few days. I prescribed him some medicine and told him to rest so it should have gotten better by now.“

 

„Well, yeah, it hasn't obviously“ came the snarky reply from an agitated Jimin.

 

„Calm down, Jimin. So do you know what's wrong with him? Do you plan on testing him?“ Hoseok asked politely.

 

„It's pretty unusual for it not to pass by this time...We did test him a week ago when he first came because the symptoms were suspicious.“

 

„Uh, okay? But he is not deadly ill, is he?“ Taehyung pleaded the doctor with big eyes.

 

„Well,....“ the doctor commenced on telling them the results and the consequences.

 

„No, that can't be true. You have to test him again!“ Namjoon screamed desperately.

 

„No, no no no no no no NO!“ the maknae started chanting and crying disbelievingly.

 

They caused a havoc in the hospital room, asked for a new doctor, new test, anything for their friend. They were saddened and cried and screamed and yelled. It didn't matter to them if it wasn't that bad, they wanted their best friend to get better, to be the one they knew.

 

In all that chaos they didn't notice that Jin woke up from his deep, fever ridden sleep and heard the whole conversation.

 

~~~~~~

 

„Hi Jin, it's good to see you again. How have you been?“A small man politely asked and smiled.

 

The man was in his mid-twenties, maybe a bit older than Jin himself, with full and fluffy hair gelled to the back in a stylish and modern way. For the most part his clothes were a pleasant brown tone, giving the man paired with his nice smile and sincere eyes a calming aura, the one you would tell everything, even your darkest secrets. Because he wouldn't judge you. Ever.

 

„Okay, I guess“ Jin replied shortly and sat in a chair right opposite of the other male. They were alone in that room.

It was different in any way to Jins apartment and private rooms. It was decorated more lovingly, welcoming and much warmer than Jins cold and white walls. Jin felt safe here.

 

„What about them. Did they appear...?“ His tone wasn't judging at all. It sounded like he wanted to help him. Sincerely. Like it affected him somehow.

 

„Yeah, they have“ Jin sighed for the umpteenth time that day.

 

„Tell me about it.“

 

„I heard them. They visited me yesterday. We had a lot of fun, too. So, I don't understand why they left all of a sudden“ Jin told the man with a small, sad smile on his face.

 

The man sighed. „Look, Jin. We've been through this for many, many times. They weren't there, OK? It also seems to be getting stronger. I'll prescribe you some pills, they'll help you for sure.“

 

„No, Doctor C. I don't want to take the pills. I want to see and hear them. I don't want them to leave me.“

 

„Jin, you have to understand that they're not real. They are illusions, hallucinations, call it what you want. You can't hold onto this anymore“ Doctor C tried to explain the situation to him calmly while leaning forward and intently looking Jin in the eyes.

 

„But it's so much better than the reality I'm supposedly living in.“ Jin smiled, stood up and bid his goodbyes to the baffled Doctor opposite from him before he left the room.

 

~~~~~~

 

„Hey! Hey Jungkook! Hey! Come over here! Hyung spotted a beautiful butterfly! It somehow reminds me of you~!“ Jin excitedly called the maknae to come over to him.

 

A few days passed and Jins fever was gone now but the assumptions of the doctor seemed to get along with what the six saw the last few days.

They were having a small picninc in the park, just talking and savouring the warm rays of the sun laying lazily in the soft grass.

They were concerned, no question, but they tried not to look too deep into the matter and instead had lots of fun with each other.

 

„Hurry up Kookie or it'll fly away!“

 

„I'm coming, I'm coming!“ Jungkook laughed and sprinted towards his hyung who was kneeling in the grass by some bushes. His smile fell when he looked around.

 

„Uh, Jin hyung. There's nothing here.“

 

~~~~~~

 

Jin strolled a bit longer through the streets than necessary after his visit at the practice because he wanted to avoid being alone in his apartment. Again.

He came by some boutiques and shops and his eyes wandered around until they stopped onto a somehow similar scene in the ice cream parlor across the street.

 

He smiled widely.

 

It was the six boys' he knew inside out. His best friends in the whole wide world. He was so happy to see them all again. Jin waved and called and was ready to cross the street to meet up with them but after he checked the road at the left and right they weren't there anymore.

Jins smile and heart fell to the bottom of his stomach. He put his hand down and started walking again.

 

The ice cream parlor was left empty and closed, just like Jins lone heart.

 

After walking for another 10 minutes, Jin found himself in front of an arcade. But not any arcade. It was the one he visited frequently with his six other friends. They were regulars and everybody knew them.

He wanted to go inside but something stopped him. It hit him hard and he couldn't move and stayed rooted in front of the doors. Nostalgia?

 

Jins ears perked up as he heard the familiar laugh of his dancing prodigy of a friend to the left.

He turned his head around and indeed, he saw them. They were walking his way but not quite. They wanted to cross the road. Were they avoiding him? He started walking to them and started yelling.

 

„Hey, hey boys! Wait for me! Please!“

 

Unbeknownst to him, a little girl with her mother was standing in front of the arcade as they were about to enter, but Jins strange behaviour caught their attention.

 

„Mommie, whom is that man talking to? I can't see anybody. Can you?“ the little girl curiously asked and tilted her head, searching for the 'boys' the man called out to.

 

„No, sweetie. I can't... Let's go inside, hurry up.“

 

~~~~~~

 

„Um, we're sorry to bother you again but his condition has worsened. We don't know how it happened. Can you help us?“ Namjoon talked to the doctor on the phone.

 

„Well, what do you mean with worsened?“ the doctor curiously asked.

 

„Uh..it was okay for the last few weeks. We could manage. But 3 days ago...he changed. He got more aggressive. And we think he knows about...about his... condition“ Namjoon replied earnestly.

 

„Aggressive? How so? And how is it possible for him to know?“ came the shocked answer.

 

„We-we don't know either. We've been living with him since and we spotted the change immediately. He got quite sarcastic when talking about his illness and so we came to the conclusion that he must know something and that he's angry at us...“

 

„Okay...I've noted that down. If it gets worse, please, come here instantly. That's very important. For now, just act normal and don't leave him. We don't know what he'll do. Understood?“

 

„Yes, doctor. And thank you.“ With that Namjoon ended the phone call and was about to tell the other curious ones but a commotion in the kitchen stopped him.

 

„What's going on in the-“ He was stopped by an angered and pissed of Jin storming into the living room, followed by a worried Hoseok.

 

Jin was walking up and down, up and down in the living room, making some of the boys' go dizzy. He interrupted every futile attempt of the others to talk with his hand.

He stopped walking and let out a disbelieving laugh. By now, everybody was seated on the couch and floor, watching their hyung with fear in their eyes.

 

„So“ Jin drawled. „When did you want to tell me about this?“

 

„A-about what? What d-do you mean hyung?“ Jungkook laughed uncertainly.

 

„You know what I mean“ Jin snapped angrily and his fiery eyes met the other ones'.

 

„This whole thing about me being sick. When did you want to tell me the truth. Huh? When?!“

 

Deafening silence ensued. Nobody dared to talk, nor blink, nor breathe. It would've been fatal.

„You won't answer your hyung? Fine. Don't. I know it anyway. I know everything! And it pisses me off that my supposedly best friends couldn't tell me!“ he screamed.

 

„It's not like we didn't want to tell you. We just couldn't. It hurts us to see you like this, too.“

 

„Hah. It hurts you. YOU? You don't know what pain I'm going through! You. Have. No. IDEA!“ Jin yelled in terror and sat down, clutching his head rocking to and forth.

 

It hurt his friends to see him like this. It pierced their hearts.

 

„I can't take this anymore! I feel like I'm going insane! I'm crazy!“ He started crying but no one dared to approach and comfort him.

He seemed to compose himself and soon stopped crying. The rocking also came gradually to a halt.

Jin was sitting on the floor while clutching his head and his friends could just watch him sadly.

 

„ this “ Jin stood up and left them in the living room, banging his bedroom door shut extra loudly.

 

„We ed up, haven't we.“ It wasn't a question. They knew they have.

 

After that commotion a few days ago Jin didn't come out of his room. It would've been a lie if they said they weren't concerned but every time they tried to make him open the door they either didn't get an answer or Jin was so angry that they backtracked in fear of getting hit.

 

„What should we do with him? He didn't eat for days now. Is he okay? I hope so..“

 

„Have you tried calling the doctor?“ Jimin asked Namjoon tiredly.

 

„Yes, I have. But he isn't picking up. That bastard“ he said and threw the phone away in rage.

 

„What should we do, what should we do.“

 

„I-I think his hallucinations have gotten stronger the past few days he's been alone in his room. It's scary hearing him talking to himself, throwing things and the content of his 'conversations' is also horrifying“ Jungkook shuddered.

 

„I know. I've heard. We need help. As fast as possible“ Yoongi spoke up.

 

Inmidst their conversation they didn't hear the click of a door being unlocked and a figure shakily making its way to the living room, where they were once again seated together. It stood a few metres away from them in the shadows, looking up to them behind its bangs.

 

„Oh. Look, guys. It's Jin. He came out!“ Taehyung successfully got his friends attention as they stared at him first and then looked up to Jin.

 

„Hey Jin, I'm so happy to see you, no. WE are really happy to see you out of your room again.“

 

He didn't reply. He just stood there with an eerie look. It was just then that they took in his condition. They gasped. It was obvious that he didn't eat anything the past few days for his cheeks were sunken in and his bones could be seen slightly. But that wasn't everything.

He had bruises all along his arms and legs and face. It looked like he hurt himself.

 

„J-jin. What happened?! Did you do this to yourself?“ Yoongi asked shocked and stood up.

 

When Jin looked up, they understood. His eyes were glazed over and they concluded that he must be seeing one of his illusions again. It was now clear to them as day that Jin had been in a nonstop hallucination for the last 5 days and somehow battled in his room and got those injuries. It scared them to which point those hallucinations could go.

Jimin stood up as well.

 

„H-hyung, don't worry. Everything will be okay. We'll help you. Let's go see the doct- Wait. What are you holding in your hand there?“

 

That got the attention of everybody in the room.

 

„P-put that down Jin hyung, please. You can hear me, right? It's me, Jiminnie. Listen to me, I beg of you, and put that down. We can talk it out, no?“ Jimin desperately tried and was joined by the others as well.

 

As Jin started to walk towards them they fearfully tried everything they could. But it was too late. Jin couldn't be stopped at that moment.

 

~~~~~~

 

Jin entered his dark apartment and didn't bother to turn on the lights. It didn't matter. There wasn't anything worth seeing anyways. As Jin didn't feel like sleeping he stepped into his kitchen and walked straight to the coffee machine. He filled the same red mug from yesterday up to the brim with hot coffee and strolled into his living room. Jin sat down onto the couch and drank from his big mug. It didn't make sense to him. How did he end up like this? He was happy once. It was mostly thanks to his friends. His friends. He scoffed.

 

„If they're truly my friends, why did they run away from me today?“ He asked into the nothingness as he didn't expect anybody to answer him.

 

„We're not friends anymore, dearest Jin. And you know exactly why“ a well-known voice declared coldly.

 

„Why did you come here now all of a sudden? You've been avoiding me today and you left me yesterday all alone! Why?“ Jin shrieked and stood up. He turned around and faced his 6 friends.

 

„I think you know why“ Hoseok replied nonchalantly.

 

„No! I don't know!“

 

„Remember. Try to remember“ Taehyung smirked.

 

„Arrgh! No no no!! I can't take it no more!“ Jin clutched his head as an excruciating headache overwhelmed him and he stumbled backwards until he hit the table with the back of his knees when they started to approach him menacingly.

They were chanting something incoherent to him and he kept shaking his head, trying to get those voices out of his head. He sat down onto the couch and bend forward.

 

„No more no more NO MORE!“ he screamed and grabbed the half empty mug from the table and threw it at the wall in front of him. He couldn't stand seeing this red mug anymore. He couldn't stand those empty days anymore. He couldn't stand it anymore.

Breathing hard, he watched the black substance flow down the white wall in a beautiful pattern, painting a part of it a light brown color. It reminded him of Dr. C and the safe feeling he always got when he was in that room full of warm colors.

 

He caught his breath and leaned into his couch, slightly sinking into it. Jin looked up to the ceiling and his mind started to wander.

 

Was it an illusion, a hallucination or was it reality? He didn't know anymore. It was all a blurr.

 

Jin fell down, down, down into a dark and seemingly bottomless pit, resembling the pretty green leaves from the big oak just down the road which were silently floating through the air.