Silence.  Something so empty shouldn’t have been so loud.

The pile of ashes on the front walkway smouldered gently, the smoke rising into the air like ghosts and fading into the blue sky above. The wind didn’t blow, solidifying the thick blanket of silence draped over the old chalet.

Hyunseung’s body was still. Nobody dared reach out to touch his pale skin out of fear of the unspeakable truth. Stiff bodies slumped forward or stood straight, others clutched at their chests as they held their breaths, not daring to breathe out of fear that their voices would betray them as they thought the unthinkable.

The vampires had their ears pricked, though the heartbeats of the mortals around them were monotonous, easily pushed aside and ignored, though it was the only sound that permeated the silence.

It was then that Doojoon took the first step, daring to reach out with a trembling hand to press it to Hyunseung’s throat. Unable to retrieve any information from that particular spot, he crawled to his brother’s side and pressed his ear to his chest, closing his eyes as his lip trembled in fear. A moment later, a choked sob slid from his throat and he pressed his face to Hyunseung’s chest.

“He’s alive,” he gasped. “He’s alive,”

The silence shattered with heavy sighs and several relieved sobs.

...

“He’s in shock,” Junsu concluded, wrapping Hyunseung tightly in a blanket and propping his feet up on several pillows.

“Are you sure the venom’s not still killing him?” Doojoon asked, his voice somewhat shrill. “Taekwoon, check!”

The vampire shrugged and quickly swiped his finger across the slow trickle of blood from the wound on Hyunseung’s neck. With a quick taste, he shuddered and nodded, his golden eyes flashing with hunger rather briefly.

“He’s clean,” Taekwoon said stiffly. “The venom must’ve burned off when Changmin died,”

“It explains why he was in pain,” Junsu said, adding another blanket on top of Hyunseung. “God knows it probably overwhelmed his system. I’m amazed he stayed conscious until Changmin died,”

“Speaking of that,” Hakyeon ran a hand through his hair. “With Changmin dead, how are we going to find Yunho?”

“We’ll find Yunho,” Taekwoon said, though he couldn’t help but worry they never would. “We have to be almost there,”

“Unless he’s been leading us the wrong way the entire time,” Wonshik said stiffly, his arms crossed. “I told you we couldn’t trust him, Taekwoon,”

“Don’t start—“

“He almost killed Hyunseung,” Wonshik went on. “I warned you, but once again, you didn’t listen!”

“I did listen!” Taekwoon protested. “We had no other choice! Would you rather have run blindly into the woods?!”

“I’d have run blindly into the woods and trusted my goddamned instincts before I trusted that damned vampire!” Wonshik snarled. “You haven’t trusted anything I’ve said since Jaejoong showed up in our coven!”

“I—“

“I might not have precognition, but you know I always know the best answer! I was the one who told you we could trust Jaejoong in the first place!”

Taekwoon’s mouth opened and closed, but for once, he couldn’t find anything to say.

“Now that you’re listening, I’ll tell you what I feel,” Wonshik clenched his fists. “We’re not going to save Hongbin. It’s too late for him, but it’s not going to be for Jaejoong. We will find Jaejoong even if it’s the last thing we ever do,”

“What the hell do you mean we’re not going to save Hongbin?!” Sanghyuk shouted. “Of course we’ll save him!”

“No,” Wonshik replied, folding his arms across his chest. “He’ll die soon. I know you know it, Taekwoon. His heartbeat is fading and the attacks are getting more frequent. He doesn’t have much longer,”

“He has five days,” Taekwoon reminded. “It’s only the third,”

“No, Taekwoon,” Wonshik shook his head. “It’s less,”

Immediately, Taekwoon’s fists clenched at his side. “...What did you do,” it wasn’t a question.

For a moment, the white haired vampire said nothing. Then he unfolded his arms, his violet eyes darting away from everyone in the room, his shoulders set in a determined stance. “He told me he wanted to die. He didn’t want to wait five days. He begged me,”

Taekwoon felt himself beginning to shake. “You. Did. Not,”

“I’m sorry,”

The elder’s fist connected with the side of Wonshik’s face hard enough to send the vampire crashing heavily into the wall behind him. He barely had time to recover before Taekwoon had grabbed him by the throat and squeezed hard enough that a choked off gurgle slipped from between Wonshik’s lips.

“How dare you,” Taekwoon snarled. “Do you even realize what you’ve done?!”

“S-Stop...”

There was a rustle as heads turned towards Hongbin who was leaning heavily against the wall in the hallway leading to the bedrooms, his face ashen and his eyes dewy and unfocused.

“I...just...” Hongbin gasped.

Sanghyuk rushed to his side as Taekwoon released Wonshik who fell to the floor, massaging his throat as he breathed heavily.

Falling against Sanghyuk, Hongbin was quickly scooped up and carried to the couch. Icy sweat coated his forehead and made his nut brown hair dark and damp. His hands might as well have been frozen with how cold they were.

“I heard...shouting...” Hongbin whispered. “Is...everything...okay?”

Sanghyuk nodded. “Yes, Binnie, everything’s okay,” he tenderly smoothed the hair from his face. “You’ll be okay too, we’re so close Binnie...” his voice trailed off as Hongbin shook his head.

“No,” he breathed. “I’m okay... don’t... just...” he shuddered, closing his eyes. “I asked... Wonshik... I’m... okay with this...”

“Binnie, no,” Sanghyuk grabbed his hand and clenched it tight in his fist. He didn’t let go even as the cold skin chilled his own.

“Don’t cry... it doesn’t... hurt anymore...” Hongbin’s words ended in a sigh, his head falling limply to the side as his last breath left his lungs. The final beats of his heart rang out softly before falling silent forever, free from the attacks that left it wounded.

And Hongbin knew peace.

...

He never thought he’d know what peace truly felt like. When he was alive, Hongbin would seek out that place; where the bird chirped and the cicadas buzzed noisily in the trees while the wind blew the sun kissed grass through the meadow. The wildflowers would fill the air with their delicate scents and Hongbin would lay back on the hammock he’d left so long ago and swing, pushing himself occasionally with the stick he laid across his lap. That place was his peace. When he closed his eyes and the wind tossed his chestnut hair and brought the dewy scents of the meadow to him, he always thought that moment was peace.

But it was a mere illusion of peace. Though the sun beamed down and the wind blew and the birds chirped, there truly was no peace. Not even for a second. Not when there was the chance a sudden gust could snap the weakening branches of the trees above him. Not when wild animals prowled the bushes around him. Not when vampires roamed the forests and skulked in the shadows. Hongbin was one of the lucky (or unlucky) people who knew the truth, though his greatest desire was to escape it.

And that was why his meadow was peace.

Hongbin’s fate was decided the moment he came into the world. As the first born male of his family, he was destined to grow up and take his father’s place to lead the clan of vampire slayers when he came of age. While most children’s first story was something sweet and tender, Hongbin’s first story was one about a vampire and a slayer. His baby eyes would stare widely up at his mother as she held him in her arms, and she would murmur about bloodthirsty vampires and the slayers who saved the day. Though he learned to read, it was only for practicalities sake, and to give Hongbin a chance to grow up, even just slightly. For the first few years of his life, he was allowed to be a child, though the stories of vampires put him to sleep at night.

The moment he was old enough to hold a weapon, Hongbin was being taught to fight. Before bed, he would perform push-ups and sit-ups. When he woke up, he would run around the compound before the sun had even risen. Before lunch, he learned combat skills, slamming his fists into punching bags as sweat poured down his tiny forehead. After lunch, it was more training. Of course, he was expected to be the best. His father oversaw every aspect of his training, making sure everything was perfect. He didn’t hesitate to criticize and correct Hongbin’s every error. Desiring nothing more than to earn his father’s favour, Hongbin trained hard, sometimes to the point where he would faint from exhaustion. His mother would merely tuck him into bed and wipe the sweat off his brow and send him on his way the next morning.

There was no rest for the future leader of the clan.

He watched his first vampire die when he was five. The screams of the being still rang through his ears at times. He silently wondered why the creatures existed in the first place. He thought about asking, but didn’t dare to. How could he? All his father talked about was wiping them from the face of the earth. He didn’t care how they got here, he just cared about getting rid of them. And yet, their screams sounded so terribly human, Hongbin had to wonder...

As the years went by, Hongbin’s strength only grew, the muscles forming thickly beneath his skin, his body accustomed to the endless physical activity. When he sparred with his clan mates his age, he never lost a match. The children his age feared him, though he silently wished they wouldn’t. He had nobody aside from his parents.

It was lonely.

Some days, he hurt so much that he ran away from the clan’s campground and disappeared into the woods. There, he found his meadow, his only solace. He would lie in the grass and watch the clouds, his stake stabbed deep into the ground by his side, forgotten and neglected. He would laugh at the squirrels as they chattered noisily and chased each other through the trees. He would pluck wildflowers and breathe the scent of their petals. He would tear a blade of grass and hold it between his fingers, whistling noisily to the quiet air around him. The meadow was beautiful peace, and Hongbin treasured every second he could remain there.

But it could never last. He always returned home by sunset, usually to a scolding mother and cross father. He would bow and say his apologies and retreat to his room where he collapsed on the bed, missing the peace he’d grown so comfortable with. It was a routine he didn’t think he could shake, no matter how much he wanted to. He had no interest in letting go of it either.

As he grew from child to teenager, things began to change. He grew rebellious just as quickly as he grew handsome. Though he trained still, it was only a formality. Every chance he got, he found himself disobeying his parents and often flirting with the young women who fawned over him. He toyed with them as well, never caring about who he hurt. He just needed something to vent his frustrations on, and the clan girls happened to be right there and more than willing to let him have his way.

Though the girls made for a good distraction, it didn’t change anything about his life. He was still going to become the clan leader. He was still disobeying his parents and receiving their wrath. Guilt often cleaved its way into his heart, leaving him crippled as he cried out his sorrows to his peaceful meadow, but he could never apologize. After all, nobody would forgive him. Not the girls who had their hearts broken. Not his parents who were considering handing his birthright over to his cousin.

But maybe...maybe it was better this way. His clan deserved better than him after all.

He said his goodbyes soon after he reached his sixteenth birthday. He apologized to his clan, hefted his stakes and left, disappearing into the woods never to return. It was both a relief and a worry, leaving his family behind. He’d left his baggage back there, leaving him free to do as he pleased.

He went on solo hunts, tracking and killing vampires as he went. His hair grew long and curled, growing more and more tangled the more he travelled. His clothes became stained with vampire blood, and he learned to live off the land. The wild woods hardened him, giving him a strength he swore nobody would question. Though he may have looked helpless, he was far from it. He was a vampire slayer, and the whole world would know it.

Though he accomplished much in his time spent alone, the loneliness soon crept in once more, and Hongbin knew he had to find a new clan, even just for the simple companionship. He might’ve worked well alone, but he needed people, and he didn’t dare return to his clan.

He travelled slowly, scoping out the land as he searched for fellow clans instead of vampires. He stuck to the streams, following them until they began to turn into suburbs before turning on his heel and travelling back into the deep forests. Though the going was difficult, he eventually ran across a small clan, a band of two lone slayers. It was perfect, Hongbin thought. What he didn’t expect was for the leader, whose name was Hakyeon, to treat him like a foreigner. The lack of trust he was shown was almost enough to make him turn around and leave again. But with time, came the acceptance he so greatly desired. He wasn’t fond of Sanghyuk’s pestering and questions, however. He didn’t want to talk about who he used to be. He was someone else now; a stronger version of Hongbin. He would never tell his story. It was simply no longer him.

Travelling with Hakyeon and Sanghyuk was refreshing. When the questions finally stopped, Hongbin allowed himself to open up, chatting with his new clan mates and forgetting about his past. Things were the same, and they rarely changed. He met Hakyeon’s allies, a group of six slayers they occasionally met up with to do hunts. They were a noisy bunch, but Hongbin found their presence comforting. They laughed easily, except for one – Hyunseung – who held shadows in his eyes.

Hongbin’s family grew with the appearance of Yoochun and Junsu. Their story was horribly dark, and Hongbin felt a twinge of guilt when he heard it: their entire clan and more, slaughtered, and their best friend kidnapped by a vampire. Hongbin couldn’t imagine such a thing happening. It made him feel guilty that he’d left his clan behind. He silently hoped everyone was alright.

The new routine was easy to adjust to; it was the same, merely with two extra members. He made quick friends with Yoochun, who later confessed Hongbin reminded him of the friend he’d lost. He wasn’t entirely sure whether to be upset or flattered by the statement. He decided on the latter when he grew to understand just the kind of person Yoochun’s friend was – kind, gentle and bright. The one from Yoochun’s stories, Jaejoong, was well loved and a wonderful person to be around. Hongbin only hoped his new self was too.

The normalcy of his life, though boring at times, was filled with contentment. He never complained, and continued with his routine. Even the trip down to the train yard where Hakyeon’s old friends had a vampire chained up was normal. Though on that same day, everything he knew was its head with the appearance of the vampires.

The one known as Jaejoong, now a vampire, managed to win over the slayers, spinning tales of danger and foreboding. Though Hongbin had no interest in trusting them, he quickly discovered there was nothing he could do except believe him. Especially since the vampire he mentioned was going to attack him. He needed to be ready.

He hadn’t prepared enough.

The cold sting of the venom, though docile at first as it crept down his arm, made him think his life was over. When the venom reached his heart, he immediately wished it was over. Pain split through his chest, making him see stars. The only thing that existed was pain. He barely heard Sanghyuk’s reassuring words, and he barely knew just what it was they were doing. He passed in and out of consciousness as he burned from the inside, bit by bit feeling himself slipping away and leaving him terribly cold.

When the pain reached its peak and began to tear him apart, Hongbin couldn’t take it. He didn’t want to take it. He clung to Wonshik, the vampire he grew to trust more than the others that day he was being carried, and begged and pleaded for him to end it. Wonshik could only bite him once more, promising death would come sooner, but he wouldn’t actually kill him on the spot. The addition of Wonshik’s venom was beyond agonizing, the cold numbness tearing him to pieces instead of burning him away bit by bit. He writhed and screamed, being carried and toted around, whispered promises of being saved ringing through his ears.

But no. He’d asked Wonshik to bite him so it would end. And when the pain turned into numbness, Hongbin could feel himself fading. He’d heard the shouting from the living room and knew he was alone in his room. He somehow managed to drag himself out of the bed, his body no longer feeling like his own. He felt distant, as though that special part of him, the one that made him alive, was slowly being tugged from him. He’d just barely been able to speak his last words before that special part of him flew away. The darkness was sudden and absolute, wrapping around him like a thick blanket, the silence overtaking him. It was the last thing he felt before he was gone.

.

.

.

A/N: It’s been an emotional last few chapters. You can consider this moment rock bottom. To the sensitive souls, maybe I should’ve put an extra warning at the beginning of the story – character death. But technically speaking, Hongbin’s not dead – he’ll be back. So I felt no need to put that warning there.

But now you know Hongbin’s backstory. I wanted to write it for most of the story, but Hongbin would never tell his story, so doing it like this was the only way I could. I felt like it was sort of like...Life flashing before your eyes just as you die. I felt the need to write it.

FUN FACT: One of my friends, when she was reading the story (she always demands to read my ish istg haha) looked at me and asked, very seriously I might add, if Hongbin’s clan had been one of the slayer groups that went to hunt Yunho with Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun’s clan. My reply was “maybe” because honestly, that detail isn’t part of the story itself. Hongbin’s clan could be still alive, or maybe they too fell beneath Yunho’s hands. In all honesty, it wouldn’t surprise me if they had.

Love and Hugs and Tissues for those of you with soft hearts <3

~starlitskies