At the wrong time and the wrong place.
At the wrong time and at the wrong place. [One-shot]
As I watched you stand on the alter, waiting for your bride to come stand next to you. All our memories pass through my head. How can I’ve been so dumb that I actually let you go.. We went from knowing of each other but nothing more to being something more than friends. Everything felt so right with you. I know that this boy and boy thing is such a hype, I just never expected it to be me… with you. My feelings towards you were just wrong in my own eyes, but at the same time it was wonderful. How could I, just how could I who was such a lady’s man in everyone's eyes.. say “I love you” to the person that I really loved, when that person was a boy, a man. That girl, a mutual friend between the two of us. She’s lovely… I know you’ll be happy with her, but deep inside I’m screaming “Please don’t take her hand, I want you to be mine”. You told me once, that you had feelings for me, that you felt something more for me than just being my friend. I kissed you, I actually kissed you. For a moment I thought you was kissing me back, but suddenly you stood up and rushed away. The next day you didn’t speak of what happened. So in silence this was our “Lets never speak of this again”. I wanted to, I wanted to grab you by the wrist and ask you what the hell was wrong and.. and tell you that I loved you.
When I had the courage to do so.. I saw you with her. Holding hands, smiling and the worst of all you kissed right before my eyes. I saw you looking at me in the corner of my eye while I turned around to walk away.
I sat outside, just feeling empty. That feeling where it feels like you’re just a shell, there’s nothing inside, there’s nothing to hold you alive. I had so many memories with you, and now I had destroyed us.. with a kiss… A kiss, a simple kiss.
A month or two went by and we started talking again. You hugged me. My heart stopped, was this for real. “Pi, you’re my closest friend. I’m sorry for not talking to you.” You said as a tear build up in your right eye “I-I have loved you for so long, but you haven’t noticed all the hints I’ve gave you.. When I gave up on you and told you that I’ve had stronger feelings for you than just friendship.. you kissed me..” -Gave up on you..- those words echoed in my head, and I watched you cry even more, I wanted to hold you, hold you so bad. “I was engaged to her, pi… and you kissed me. I couldn’t do that to her, after all the time I waited for you.. she was there for me” It felt as my heart dropped, I’ve never felt so heavy before.. “I came here to ask you to be there, at our wedding..” I’m an actor.. so the thing to dry his eyes and say “It’s okay and I’m sorry. I’ll be there” then smile, was simple but it destroyed me inside…
Why.. why was I afraid of being the real me, a man who loves a man.. Why didn’t I say something before you gave up on me. Why didn’t I let you know that I’ve loved you all along. No my ego was in the way.. Now I’ll never know.
The doors opened and the bride stood in the door, looking like a princess from a fairy tale, so beautiful. The piano started playing. As she walked up to the alter to stand beside you. You, the love of my life. The boy with the softest lips in the world, with the most beautiful smile and soul.. I’ve now lost you forever.. I had to say something.. I stood up as the priest asked if anyone had something to say. Everyone's eyes turned to me.. “I’m sorry Kazuya… I can’t.. I love you both, but Kazuya, I was afraid. I, Yamahisha Tomohisa was afraid.” I looked down at my feet as the tears started to pour down my cheeks, then I looked at you “I loved you from the start!” I walked up to you and kissed you on the forehead “I just wanted you to know the truth.. to late I know. But as this now is my goodbye to you, as I can’t bare to see you with anyone else so… yeah, goodbye Kamenashi Kazuya” I turned around and walked out from the church..
I grabbed a taxi, looking at the church a last time and whispered “goodbye”.
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