“Hyung, want to go out for ice-cream after this?” BamBam asked, still panting after the rigorous practice they had for the ‘stop stop it’ promotion. They had to practice extra hard because winter is coming soon and they were given a one month holiday for rest.

        Mark capped his water bottle and wiped the sweat on his forehead with the hem of his shirt. “Sure but your treat,” he grinned.

        “Fine,” the younger male grumbled. “But only because I need company and Yugyeom didn’t want to go. Him and his stupid anime.” He mumbled grumpily as he walked towards the youngest member. Probably to disturb the younger guy.

        Mark chuckled at ’s behavior, it must have been nice to be young. He sat on the floor of the practice room and leaned against the wall, looking around. Jackson, who was talking animatedly with the leader and the group’s mom, were talking animatedly to them. Mark stared longingly at his back.

        How long had it been like this?

        How long had he been feeling so empty inside out?

        It’s like their relationship is hanging on a piece of thread.

        No, Mark realized, there is no more relationship. There’s no more Markson and it’s just Mark and Jackson. Mark let out a dry laugh. The piece of thread had already snapped. He shouldn’t be feeling upset or jealous. Jackson does not belong to him anymore.

        Yet, he couldn’t help but miss that Hong Kong guy.

        Mark gritted his teeth in frustration. Jackson Wang is killing him mentally without even having to touch him. That’s just how much power he had over Mark. If he asked Mark to kill himself he would have no hesitation to do it.

        “Hyung, are you okay?” He snapped out of his dilemma and looked up to BamBam’s worried expression. The company taught them how to smile even if the situation was not to their benefit and this is one of the time when Mark will use it.

        “I’m fine.” He smiled. The Thailand native looked as if he didn’t believe it but he shrugged it off and put on a big grin. “Don’t forget we have an ice cream date after this!”

        It must’ve been nice to be young.

*~*

        A black van stopped in front of a huge apartment complex. Seven boys got out of the van sluggishly, dragging their feet to the front door. “Ugh, I’m tired.” Yugyeom complained.

        “Shower first before you go to bed and speaking of shower, I’ll go first because I’m the leader.” The leader yawned as everyone groaned while complaining that it was unfair.

       “And don’t just throw your shoes everywhere or I’ll stuff throw them off the building.” Jinyoung warned them. “Jaebum, I’m joining you in the shower it’s faster that way.”

        “You guys go first, I’m going with Mark hyung.” BamBam linked his arms with Mark.

        “Where to?” Yugyeom asked, a frown present.

        “To eat ice cream with Mark hyung.”

        “In the middle of autumn?” Jackson quirked an eyebrow.

        “Yes because I’m craving for one.”

        “BamBam let’s go before the ice-cream shop closes.” Mark said as the younger male nodded obediently. They left the members with BamBam linking his arm with Mark.

        The ice-cream shop was just a few blocks from their dorm. There were usually no one around at night so they could safely go out without any disguise. BamBam ordered mint-flavored ice cream while Mark ordered a simple vanilla-flavored one. They sat on a bench outside as they ate their ice-cream.

        “It’s a little below 10 degrees Celsius and here we are eating ice cream outside like madmen.” Mark said.

        BamBam giggled. “It’s once in a while experience.”

        The older male chuckled. “So, what is the actual reason you’re bringing me out here?”

        The younger male was surprised for a moment before laughing. “I’m that obvious?” He his ice-cream and let out a big sigh. “I’m having a big problem.”

        Mark raised an eyebrow. “Were you the one who messed up Jinyoung’s hats from his prized collection?”

        “No! I mean yes! Wait-“

        Mark gave him an I-knew-it-look. “You did.”

        BamBam sighed miserably. “Yes, I did. I had no choice because Yugyeom dared me otherwise I’ll have to dance to ‘Wiggle Wiggle’ in front of you guys with a banana hanging in front of my crotch!”

        “Wow that is extreme.”

        “I know right!” he shuddered at the thought. “I never looked at banana the same way again.”

        The American native laughed. “So what’s your real problem?”

        “It’s actually about Yugyeom.” BamBam confessed. “I… I think I like him.”

        “Why do you think so?” Mark asked as he wiped his hands with a napkin after eating the ice-cream.

        “B-because everytime I’m around him I get these butterflies in my stomach and at times my heart beats so fast that I think it would cram. If I was a living skeleton, you could see my heart pump so fast in front of Yugyeom.”

        “I don’t think you like him.” Mark stated and stared at the younger male seriously.

        “Eh?” BamBam tilted his head, confused.

        “I think you love him.”

        BamBam fell to the ground. His face a few shades darker than a dark red apple. “W-w-w-wha-what am I going to do?!” He stuttered.

        “Umm, you could try confessing to him?” Mark suggested.

        “No! I’m too embarrassed to do that!” The younger male was now running around in circles. “But maybe I should. But if I confess he might not like me and we would be awkward. But if I don’t confess I might go crazy! But-but-but-but-“

        “Kunpimook,” Mark patted his shoulder. “Calm down please I don’t want to carry you back to the dorm if you fainted.”

        “Then what should I do?” He was now at the point where he wanted to cry.

        Mark sighed and sat back down on the bench. “You should take things slow. Try to give him hints first. Small hints. Like, pecking his cheeks or linking your arms together or even sit next to him.”

        “Yeah, I think I should do that.” BamBam calmed down and took a deep breath.

        “Let’s go back to the dorm it’s getting late.” The older male stood up.

*~*

        Mark was fresh from the shower when he entered his shared room with Jackson. He could see Jackson was texting to someone on the phone and smiling occasionally at his phone. The older male bit his lip and plop down on his bed.

        “Oh Mark, didn’t realize you were there.” Jackson said.

        Mark gave him a small smile, “hi.” He turned to the other side where he won’t face Jackson. Pulling the covers up to his chin, Mark felt like crying but he kept it all inside.

        He didn’t want to break down in front of Jackson.

        He didn’t want to be seen as weak.

        It has been like this for almost 3 months. This awkward feeling between him and Jackson has been there ever since they broke up in September.

        Mark had been wondering if he was the reason Jackson fell out of love with him. Maybe he said something bad or maybe Jackson got tired of him because he was boring. He didn’t know. He wished he could turn back time and correct all his mistakes so Jackson would still love him.

        So that Jackson would still be his.

        That night, Mark fell asleep thinking about his nonexistent mistakes.

        “Mark, I can’t do this anymore I’m sorry.” Jackson’s face was hard. No sign of sadness or regret.

        “What do you mean Jacks?”

        “I can’t love you Mark.” Jackson confessed. “I don’t think this will work between us.”

###

Phew, finished the first chapter!

Thanks to everyone who subscribed and upvoted this fanfic, I’m really grateful! *gives everyone cookies*