July 13, 2007

That was the first time I got my phone. First time I had my members welcome me arms wide open.. and First time to have a huge fight with my first love. Because of my stupid phone.

I could only smile as I recalled that day vividly.

It was because of my classmate who pretended to be the nurse who took care of me when I was in the hospital. It wasn't that extent though. He just said, that he is that person. That he remembered me. And Sungmin.. of course, Sungmin being a jealous boyfriend got mad.

He threw a fit until he himself got tired of it.

.. I remembered how he ignored me the whole day, and rant on me that evening because I ignored him and it did hurt his feelings.

"Well I thought you have that today.." I jokingly answered. Well, I didn't think he was that serious in that fight. I didn't thought he was that jealous.

"Well, you!!" He stormed out the room and banged the door. I was left inside stunned. It was my first time seeing him that red. That angry. And that.. jealous.

When I decided to follow him, It was too late for I couldn't find him.

I tried calling him but he wouldn't answer.

Then I received a message from him. "I'm okay. I'm at home with my mom.." he assured.

I sighed in relief. "Why didn't you answer my call?"

"Dad's beside me.." he replied. It was short. Unemotional. But, I know we're okay now.

"Are you still mad?" I asked, but he didn't replied back.

I've waited for hours.. and hours.. yet, He didn't even sent me anything. I shighed. Maybe.. he is still Mad. Maybe he is really jealous. Those thoughts came to my mind. Blaming myself why I had texted that nurse back. Why I am so insensitive of his feelings? That I shouldn't have talked to him that way. That maybe.. I should've tried to understand him a little more. Or maybe I should've hugged him in the morning when he ignored me.

A lot of self resentments came into my mind, because I know in myself.. I couldn't let him go.

It was 3am when he texted back and I was dozing on and off to dreamland. 

"Hey.. I'm sorry. Dad got me scolded awhile ago.." was his first text.

"Hmmm.. how much do you love me???" I smiled. I know he just needed assurance but just like the other times when he ask me that.. I replied.. "from here.."

And he replied back.. ":(" 

he didn't get it.

 <