It has been roughly 1,5 years later and I don't know if these feelings are okay anymore. Luckily, there have been some changes and there have been good times. Earlier this year we tried it again, it didn't really last long. Being official didn't last long. After we last parted, officially in 2014, we still had feelings for each other. They never really died I guess. We got back together 2 times this year. 

I tried to write down my feelings so acceptance would be easier but words couldn't describe how I felt. But it still pains me. After time has passed, it doesn't hurt me as much as before but it still does. My heart has now accepted the situation.