I'm here.

I read that last message for the 5th time and note the time it was sent. I look immediately at my watch and see that it's already 5:37PM. I'm already about 40 minutes late and this traffic jam is not helping me one bit. I throw my phone to the passenger's seat in frustration and hear it hit the door before landing on the seat. 

"Getting mad won't make any difference Lee Donghae." I tell myself in that empty car as I let out that needed sigh. I look to my right where my phone is and see that message still lit up on the screen as I stretch out and reach for it.

I'm sorry. Please, I'm almost there. 

I type in those words and press send hoping that I finally get a reply. It's the 3rd message I send following the first two after waking up that afternoon. I tried calling once I got to my car after fixing myself up but I couldn't connect the call. It was pointless calling now. I just needed to get there as quickly as possible and hope some miracle happens to save this day.

As I look ahead at the cars in front I start to tap my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel praying to God that He open up a path for me to move through so I could get going. 

Sigh. 

Finally finding a parking space, I tug at my jacket as I close the car door and click on the alarm. Sneaking a quick glance at my watch I speedwalk towards the exit of the 24/7 parking garage and see that familiar attendant hovering near the guard post as I near.

"Leaving it for the night?" He asks as he hands me a card just as I stop in front of him.

"I don't know yet," I say as I pocket the card and fish out my wallet to pay him. "I'm pretty late, I don't know if I still have something to go to."

"Oh... Tell you what. Just pay up when you get the car. You won't need to pay if you're only leaving that pretty car of yours here for a few minutes." He says pushing the money back towards me.

"Really?Thanks Hyung!" I reply as I cram the bills into my pant pocket and take a peek at my watch.

"No problem." He says as looks up from the logbook he's carrying. " Oh... Advance Merry Christmas Donghae-yah." 

"Merry Christmas too Hyung!" I greet back with a genuine smile as I clap him in the back.

"Really fine day today." He says after a second. "Great day to spend with your loved ones." He continues to say to me with twinkling eyes and a grin plastered on his face. 

"I agree. Want me to set up you up with someone Hyung?" I tease back as his laugh echoes through the garage.

"No need. I'm happy enough with all these beauties around me." He says as he looks around the garage and at the luxury cars parked in it.

"Well, you know my number. Just give me a call when you finally feel ... lonely." I say out loud as I start to walk away from him, waving my hand in goodbye and into the streets of Garosu-gil. His laughter slowly fading away as I walk briskly away.

The night promised to be chilly with the wind blowing strongly as it is but the streets were still filled with families laughing and eating together on restaurants that line Garosu-gil. Musicians out on the streets singing sweet, soft Christmas songs fit for the night. Children eating sweets stuffed in their small mouths, their eyes twinkling with joy. Lovers strolling together with no certain destination hand in hand. Just that contentment of being together in mind.

I long for that touch. I miss that. The thought suddenly came to me as I near the next turn to finally reach our meeting place. I could see my breath form in front of me from the cold as I hurry my steps even more. A sudden warmth filled me inside as I spied the cafe in the near distance. But fear also crept up that maybe there is no one there waiting for me. 

Not knowing what happened next I find myself losing foot for a second before regaining some balance. Unfortunately for that person who bumped into me, she must have felt like she hit a wall because the next second I see her wincing in pain on the pavement in front of me.

"Oh my... I am so sorry miss." I sputter out as I drop the bag I am carrying and kneel in front of her. I was ready to carry her off to the nearest hospital. 

Her hair is disheveled and covering her face. Her face tilted down, her teeth gritted in pain. Her right hand is cradling her left hand which was sporting a red mark and some dust and dirt.

"Here miss... Let me help you..." I push myself halfway up and grasp her arms to help her up when she finally looks up, taking my breath away.

"Victoria-sshi?" I mutter in confusion still holding her.

"Oppa?" She must have been confused too. Blinking those eyes rapidly, hanging open so cutely.

"Are... Are you okay?Are you hurt anywhere else?I think we need to go to the hospital, get you checked up huh?Where's your phone?Let me call your manager." I blabber as I take her left hand into mine to examine it. Taking care not to press that red mark but just to get rid of the dirt on her hand.

"I... I'm okay oppa." She says quietly, gently extracting her hand from mine. "I'm alright." 

"You're not okay." I say not believing her words as I tuck a loose strand of her hair gently behind her ear. My hand lingering there. "You're not okay Victoria-sshi."

"What... What are you even doing here?" She sounds like a little girl, afraid and hurt. She looks up and stares right into my eyes. Hers b with unshed tears. My hand automatically brushes her tears away. 

"I'm sorry." 

"What are you doing here oppa?It's Christmas Eve shouldn't you be at home with your family?" She asks as she turns away from me.

Sigh.

"I'm here to see my girlfriend." That got her attention.

"Your... Your... Your girlfriend?" She looks so lost and scared.

"Yes... My girlfriend." I say with pride. 

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The second iced tea that I've ordered now tastes like bitter water. The fish and potato lasagna now looks like mush from my poking. What a waste of good food.

The cafe isn't that crowded as it's tucked away in a little corner in Garosu-gil, only known to regulars and those who like to explore the area. It's small compared to those lined-up on the road but its homey which is the reason why I love this place. The kitchen is open so I could smell what the chef's cooking up. Hmm, fresh bread staright from the oven.

I thought coming here today instead of spending another day at home in complete isolation would clear my mind and my body from the aches its feeling. But even the smell of good food isn't helping. I shouldn't have come here in the first place. I'm not feeling any better. I shiver despite the overly thick jacket I'm still wearing and the layers of sweater underneath. I picked the table farthest from the airconditioning but its not doing me any good. 

I glance down at my wristwatch and see that I've been sitting here for almost two hours. My phone died long then, having forgotten to charge the thing before going out. I wonder if I should wait any further. Am I even supposed to be waiting?

"I'm going out for a while Unnie." I say to my friend who is also the owner of the cafe as I come up behind the counter.

"Oh Victoria-sshi. Are you going home?" She looks up from her laptop. Her glasses hangin g on her cute nose as I reach out and fix it for her.

"Oh no. I'm gonna buy a charger... somewhere." I reply as I take out my credit card out of my wallet. "Do you mind looking after my stuff?I'll be real quick."

"Sure. Just leave it there. I'll make sure no one goes out back." She says assuringly with a friendly smile taking my card and swiping it then handing it back. "Chef's starting to make a some soup and there's fresh bread in the kitchen. Do you want an order so its ready when you come back?"

"Really?His clam soup?" I suddenly light up, feeling my appetite come back.

"I told him in passing that you were sick. You know... he secretly likes you right?" She whispers like its any secret as I smile at the thought.

"Ahhh... Now I'm embarrased. But thank you unnie. I'll make sure to stop by the kitchen before I go later." I tell her in gratitude as I push open the door and step outside.

There was no store nearby selling chargers. I walked in circles until my feet start to ache and my steps get heavier. My nose is runny and the wind is growing colder and colder. I need to go back now and maybe just go home. Accept defeat, take a nice warm bath and sleep this day away. That's a great plan.

I am sprawled into the pavement the next second. Hitting something or someone and it felt like I've been hit in full force by a car. Electric like shock shooting up my left hand which hit contact with the floor sending instant pain through my whole body. I cower in pain. Tears threaten to fall any second but I muster up enough courage as not to embarrass myself with it.

Then I feel someone kneel in front of me, his hands suddenly holding my arms. My face warm up from embarrassment. This shouldn't be happening to me. This day, these past few weeks has really pushed me to my limits. I shouldn't be sitting here on the ground and let some stranger handle me like this. Gathering courage to tell him to let go and that I'm okay I look up and freeze in an instant.

"Victoria-sshi?"

"Oppa?" Oh my. 

I know I must have looked like a fool for staring at him the way I did but I didn't know how to react. My brain seems to have forgotten to function. My eyes wander to his moving lips. I don't hear anything he was saying but I'm fascinated by his lips. Then confusion and anger starts to bubble up inside me as I feel him trail his hands over me, picking dust off me. He then takes my left hand into his and looks to examine it.

"I... I'm okay oppa." I find my voice as I tug my hand away from his hold. "I'm alright."

"You're not okay." He says as he tucks a loose stand of my hair that I haven't noticed behind my ear and linger there. "You're not okay Victoria-sshi."

A fresh batch of tears threaten to spill at how sincere I hear him say those words. His steady gaze burns a hole through me. I really didn't want to cry in front of him.

"What... What are you even doing here?" I choke up but try to hide my embarrassment by acting all cool about the situation as I look up at him. He doesn't answer immediately. He just stares at me so warmly. His fingers suddenly brushing away the tears b in my eyes. 

"I'm sorry." He whispers silently, his hands falling away into his side.

"What are you doing here oppa?It's Christmas Eve shouldn't you be at home with your family?" I mutter as I turn my face away from him.

"I'm here to see my girlfriend." He says it so confidently and loudly that it got a few heads to turn our way.

"Your... Your... Your girlfriend?" I stutter.

"Yes... My girlfriend."

He's here.

"Who makes their girlfriend wait for an hour?" I say in defense, avoiding his questioning eyes by picking at my injured hand.

"I'm sorry." He sounds so guilty that I couldn't help but to look up at his face. I know I shouldn't have said that. Time is a sensitive subject for us to joke and tease about. Sigh.

"C'mon. Help me up Clumsy." I , trying to change his mood. He complies immediatelyand has an arm around me in a second, helping me up and into my feet. He doesn't let go even as I do an initial examination of the state of my clothes and injury. 

My hair is tangled up a bit. My bottom is starting to ache, my left hand is red and scratched up. My jacket has a bit of dirt stuck on the sleeves but overall I say I'm pretty decent. 

He silently stands by my side brewing. I know he's thinking of what I said and he's kicking himself inside for it. The past few weeks has been really tough on the both of us. We were both still adjusting and making ends meet around our schedules. But just like any relationship, strains and pressures resulted to a few misunderstandings. This is the first time in about two weeks that we contacted each other. The first time in almost a month that we see each other. I know I should say something first but its just hard to start when you don't know what to say exactly.

"I missed you Vic." His honest confession took my breath away. That smolthering look he's giving me, warming me up. All the fighting and the distance between us before today, didn't seem to matter in this moment.  

"I love you." I gingerly wrap an arm around his neck and bury my face in his broad chest as I say this. His ams coming around my waist, pulling me closer. His face buried in my tangled hair. I really missed him all this time and longed to be beside him. 

I untangle myself and look up at his handsome face. He finally smiles. That boyish smile that melts me.

"That's not what you reply to everyone else when they tell you they've missed you right?" He teases but his smile fades away.

"Not everyone. Only you..." I say biting my tongue to keep from laughing. His jealousy always gives me something to smile about.

"Good. Because if you..." He starts to say when I interrupt him midsentence.

"And... the guys from my dramas. My guy friends in your group and in the company." I , poking him in the rib.

"Ahhh~ You are such a tease." He laughs as he swoops in for a quick kiss. "But only I can do that." He adds pulling back and flashing a grin.

"Lucky you~" I say cutely as he wraps me up tightly in his arms again until my ears are pressed into his chest that I could hear his racing heartbeat. His warmth and scent surrounding me. 

"You want to go inside now?You're cold." He murmurs in my hair, tickling me.

"Yes! That would be great!" 

"Oh, wait a minute." He lets me go and I immediately miss his warmth. He snatches up the bag he had dropped on the pavement and rummages for his phone. "Selca?" He says holding the phone up already. 

"You're posting this again?" I inquire as I position myself beside him as he takes the shot. 

He says he wants to post pictures of us on his SNS as memories since we started dating this year. But since our relationship isn't known to the public we try to keep our interactions on a minimum. Only posting pictures of the two of us when there is an event. Which also means even dragging s into the shot so he can post it.

"You look great by the way." He comments as he shows me the picture. "No one would think you fell on you're behind and scratched yourself up." 

"Yah~" I try to hit him but he blocked my offense with his arm. "Can you not post that on your SNS?" I ask as I look over his shoulder to look at what he's typing in.

"Why? Its a good picture of us." He says as he blocks my view.

"I mean... Wouldn't it be weird for you to be posting a selca of just the two of us on Christmas Eve?" I question him as I make a grab for his phone.

"Hey! It's fine. I'll just say we met up by chance and then greet everyone a Merry Christmas. Done~" He says holding his phone up in the air so I couldn't reach it.

"Hmph. Fine." I mumble as I trudge away from him, heading back towards the cafe. Leaving him to do whatever he wants to do with that picture.

The clam soup with that warm and toasty bread filled me up good that right after eating it I felt sleepy and warm. I rest my head on my arm in the table, making myself as comfortable as possible as I look over the man sitting beside me. Donghae was still finishing his meal and casually sneaking glances at me with a smile. Sooyeon-unnie came to the table a few minutes later and made small talk with him. I tried to listen to what they were talking about especially when I heard my name mentioned but the pull to go to sleep overcame me.

"Hey sleepy head." Someone was squeezing my nose lightly.

"Hi~" I hear my scratched voice come to life as I lift my heavy head and open my eyes wide.

"We should get going. They're closing early today." He says this as he makes a grab for my bags and slings it in his arms.

"How long have I been asleep?" I ask while rubbing my eyes when something catch my attention. "You did this?" I ask staring at my raised hand bandaged up.

"I did it while you were sleeping... Since about an hour ago?" He replies after consulting his wristwatch.

"Really?" He nods in answer as I give him a peck on the cheek as a thank you.

"They're already cleaning up. Wanna say bye now?" He utters as he pulls me to my feet and holds out as hand for me.

He pays for our meal and gathers our things as I hug my friend goodbye. The staff were almost done with wiping the tables and sweeping the floor when we finally wished everyone a Merry Christmas and made our exit. There were very few people out on the street when we made our way towards my Range Rover which was parked a few stores down. 

Standing shoulder to shoulder, my hand in his hand inside his jacket pocket as we walk slowly and cherish the moment. Cherish our day.

"So..." I start to say as we finally reach my car. But I couldn't get the next words out. There were still words left unsaid. It was our first big fight and neither one of us helped in clearing the air for the last two weeks. The sudden awkwardness between us now becomes palpable. We still haven't talked about our problems and soon enough we'll both be countries apart again.

"Can I come over to your place?" He offers the question as he felt that I was hesitating.

"How about your family?Won't they be waiting for you?" I prod as I knew his mother would have wanted him home tonight.

"I told them this morning that I'm spending Christmas Eve with you." He answers abruptly as if anticipating my objection.

"You had this planned out already didn't you?" I couldn't help but smile at him.

"If you weren't there waiting for me in the cafe, I'd come to your house and knock on your door till you open them. I'm spending this Christmas with you. Whether there is a door between us or not." He answers confidently as he snatches my keys from my bag.

"Hey!" I complain but I know he won't have it any other way. "Fine you drive then." 

"I knew you'd give in." He quips as he comes to my side of the door and opens them for me before closing them after buckling my seatbelt.

We ride in silence the entire time until we reach my apartment building. The air was heavy around us. Neither one of us made a move to get out of the car. I could feel him look my way a few times but he doesn't say anything. My head just leaning on the cool window looking up at my building adorn with different colored lights. A hundred questions start to form inside my head giving me a sudden headache as the silence in the car became too much for me.

"I needed to have something that's mine." I whisper silently not sure whether he could hear me or not. Either way I just wanted to get everything off my chest.

"I had nothing lined-up after making the movie. You have your concerts. You're busy making your album with Eunhyuk-oppa. You have your group activities. I had nothing. I couldn't just sit around my apartment and wait for you to finish your schedules just like before I took up this movie." I speak up a bit more clearly.

"This new drama will take 3-4 months to film in China and I won't be seeing you for months this time around." I finally turn towards him to gauge his reaction. He's eyes still focused somewhere ahead but one of his hands is clenched tightly around the steering wheel. I reach out for it and gently pry it away from the wheel. It was so cold and hard, so different from when he was holding my hand awhile ago that I wanted to let go of it but instead I grasp it more tightly.

"You know I understand why." He tells me while biting his bottom lip.  "I just didn't want to accept it that time. We were already planning on what we were going to do right after you finish your movie. We were talking about going on a vacation abroad, renting a house in the countryside and spending a week there, visiting your Mom in China. But then the next day you tell me you'll be joining a drama, a drama you never mentioned that you were considering."

"We were spending less and less time together since we started this relationship." He continues to say as he runs his other hand over his jaw.

"I know." I say defeatedly, acknowledging the fact that we were indeed doing that.

"Its been so long since I've let anyone into my life. I've been so focused on my career all this time. Then I got to know you and... and I fell in love." He looks at me adoringly as he says those last words.

"I... I did too oppa." I smile at that.

"Spending weeks apart was torture enough. How much more if I don't see you for a month or two huh?" He chides as he holds our hands up together to poke my cheek.

"It'll be hard. But you'll be busy. I'll be busy too. A month will just pass by quickly right?" I try to sound convincingly but listening to myself, I'm not even conviced myself.

"You keep on telling yourself that okay?" He quips, poking me playfully again just as then he turns back to being serious.

"You know what I keep telling myself?" He doesn't wait for me to reply as he contiinues. "That it'll be just be a month that I won't be able to eat your delicious food. Just four weeks without you nagging me and telling me to keep my things orderly or keep them in my pocket because I keep on forgetting where I put them. It will just be a few days that I won't be able to hold your hands or fix your hair for you. But now that I think about it. I have forever with you to make up for all that." His words melts me inside, turning my heart all gooey and warm. He always had a way to speak his heart so sincerely and not make his words sound cringe-worthy.

"You mean that?" Cue the waterworks.

"Why are you crying?"He teases as he brushes them away. "You liked what I just said, didn't you?" He teases me, his eyes twinkling with mischief as I hit him in the arm and start to laugh.

"No!" I say in denial but he just laughs at that.

He stretches out and reach for me in that confined space of my Rover, his expression filled with happiness. I go willing into his arms as it envelopes me in an embrace. Wrapped in his arms just feels so good and safe. 

My apartment felt more like a real home the moment he stepped inside it. Unlike when I got home from China a few days before where it felt cold and drafty. 

"This wasn't how I left it when I came over the other day." He remarks after looking around my apartment where my suitcase was still left partially opened in the middle of the living room. A few pieces of clothing and folders are on the table near it. Piles of magazines were left open in the sofa where a blanket is left unfolded. Pieces of paper scattered on the floor. Two or three plates were scattered unwashed in the sink while wrappers are scattered near the trash bin. I cringe at how messy I've let my beloved apartment become.

"You came here?" I ask curiously as I start to clean up. Embarrassed of the state of my home.

"I come over twice a week to water your plants when you were away. I watered them the day before you came back." He explains after removing his sweater leaving him in his shirt. He goes to the kitchen, takes the trash bin and brings it to the living room where he starts to throw garbage into it.

"You don't have to do that." I scold him, making a grab for the trash bin. But he moves away before I could get hold of it.

"What have you been doing since you came back anyway?This doesn't look like your place." He say before making a face when he notices a pile of used tissue behind one of the chairs. Holding up a piece for me to see before he flicks it into the bin.

"Just sit down if your going to make faces like that." I admonish as I catch one of his hand and lead him to couch and sit him down, taking the trash bin from him. "I've been down with the flu after I arrived back." I say passively as I start to move once again. But he grabs my waist aggresively that it surprises me that I drop what I was holding as he pulls me down next to him.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?How are you feeling now?" He starts asking as he's placing a hand on my forehead. I couldn't help but smile at seeing that crease between his brows that form from worrying.

"I'm okay. My manager took me to the hospital for a flu shot two daya ago. He stops by every afternoon to check on me. Also Soojungie also came by the other day and brought fruits for me. And I saw you today, so I'm feeling really better now." I grab his face and place my fingers between that his brows to uncrease it. Smiling up at him.

"Your boyfriend should be doing that for you." He says taking my hand awayand bringing his head closer to mine until our foreheads touched.

"You're here now." I assure him as I wrap an hand around his neck and pull him closer. His head now resting on my shoulder, his arms coming around my wasit automatically.

"You always act so strong around me. I want to take care of you too like how you take care of me. Next time tell me when you hurt yourself and I'll come immediately okay?" I just nod in response.

"You just sit here while I clean this place up okay?I'm good at cleaning up too." He holds me in arms length then steals a kiss on the lips before moving away.

He moved like a man on a mission. He moved quickly and efficiently around, with a piece of cloth on his shoulder that he uses to wipe his sweat away. Making his way from one room to the next. The living room was spotless in just a few minutes. My hand now wrapped around the remote control which he has given me a second before. Telling me to watch some drama while I wait for him to finish up. 

He was making clattered noises in the kitchen now. I could see him from where I am. His back turned towards me. I get up and leave the comfort of my couch for something much better. I make my way quietly towards him, stopping just behind him. He was whistling to some slow song as he washes my dishes for me. 

My arm find its way around his waist, my body plasters itself onto his back. He was so warm and comforting, perfect to cuddle into. His scent filling me up as I bury my face even closer. He just smells so familiar and clean. He stops what he was doing and drops his wet hands into where I am holding him.

"I love you." I blurt out into his back. Meaning every single word.

He lets go of my hands and slowly turns his body to face me. Eye to eye now, I feel like he could see me. See through me. Looking directly into his eyes, I felt a shiver move through my body. His eyes alone tell me how he loves me. A boyish smile forms in his sweet lips that I couldn't help but lean in closer and kiss him.

His lips were just so soft and welcoming as I gingerly wrap my arm around his neck as he pulls me even closer. His hands were cold and wet that I could feel them through my thin sweater but I didn't really care about that now. He nips my bottom lip. Once, twice before pulling back.

"Merry Christmas." He replies as he grabs my hips and hoists me up on the counter. He moves in between my legs. My arms automatically moves round his shoulders for support. My legs wrap itself around his back.

"That's not what you reply when someone sincerely tells you 'I love you' oppa." I scold him just as lips capture mine into another kiss. 

"I know." He whispers between kisses.