While exhaling a deep sigh, you rolled over toward the wall.  You rested your forehead there, allowing the coolness of it to try and lull you to sleep.  However, the endless string of thoughts, unfinished business, that annoying song you decided to listen to on repeat, and an underlying feeling of anxiousness kept exhaustion at bay. Maybe kicking off the covers would help. It was hot,after all. The slight rush of cool air brushing against your arms and legs did nothing but further distress your senses. You gathered the blankets back over your t-shirt clad body. There was only so much unease you could take. Work was in five hours and you still hadn't slept a wink. 

Rolling onto your back, you heaved another sigh and glaced at the alarm clock.  4 a.m.

Tears threatened to spill not just out of frustration, but also out of weariness. These nights came often, and each time you wondered how they keep coming about.

Was it the new job? 

Was it living up to the pressure of being a 'good wife' to Taekwoon even though he was away a lot?

Or was it just the simple fact of being restless lately?

You've had sleepless nights before. Yet as you grew older they gradually became worse. From a restless night once every blue moon to almost being an insomiac three days out of the week nearly had you at your breaking point, but you'd could never show it.  Whether it was covering dark circles with copious amounts of BB cream or hiding yawns behind a laugh you tried convinced yourself that everything was okay.

Though a there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind screaming for you to get help.  To tell the world that you were tired. 

That you needed rest.

How could you?  Working at as a psychologist demanded long hours of talking to people who needed a place of refuge. And when Taekwoon did come home, you had to be prepared to help him unwind from the stress of being an entertainer.  You wanted him comfortable. Smiling. At ease. Putting your dilemmas, aches, and pains on the back burner was how you were able to function for everybody else.  Unfortunately you never learned how to make all of it work for yourself.  Another worry came to the fore front of your mind and you felt your heartrate quicken. Immediately you took deep, cleansing breaths. 

At least you've learned how to ride the course of your small anxiety attacks.

A soft click of the bedroom door and you quickly rolled onto your side shutting your eyes tightly. 

Taekwoon was home. 

The sound of the soft thudding of his footsteps could be heard as he approached his side of the bed.  He let out a voiced sigh that spoke of his relief to be back in his own home after almost a year of being driven around and flown place to place.  The bed dipped slightly and you tried to even out your breathing so he could see that you were "asleep". Uncounted moments rolled by and he didn't seem to settle in his place next to you. Was he okay? 

 "...You're not asleep, are you?"

Your breath almost caught in your throat. It was best not to answer.

"________, you're not asleep. I can tell. You've been doing this a lot lately..."

This time you did freeze.  He knew? How could he...

Taekwoon sighed and the bed dipped a bit more and you could feel his soft breaths on the back of your neck. Maybe he had given up.  He was never good with words. It could be brought up again over breakfast, knowing him.

Just then, you found yourself being pulled into his embrace. Your head was tucked under his chin with your face so close that you could feel the light beat of his pulse in his neck. Soon your breathing patterns became one. 

"I don't know what's wrong and I'd wish you tell me,"  Taekwoon's voice was softer than usual. You took a shuddering breath to keep yourself from breaking.  You were okay. You were sure of it. 

"...But if you don't...then I won't be able to rest properly." he nearly whispered. 

That did it.

Tears began to flow freely and silently. You tried to pull away from him so he couldn't see you in your weakness but his grip only tightened. The words you wouldn't dare utter to anyone just began to fall from your lips.

"Oppa, I'm tired. I'm just tired. There's only so much I can take. I can't be strong anymore..."

He sighed again and carded his fingers through your hair. 

"You are strong, jagiya. Stronger than most, but even the strongest person needs rest. It's okay to say you're not okay. I'm here for you. Just don't keep these things from me..." He pressed a small kiss to the crown of your head.  "Take off work tomorrow."  he murmured.  You nodded weakly, feeling the pull of sleep finally overtaking you.  The weight that was covering you had dissapated. He let out another sigh, this one voicing how close to slumber he was. 

"We have a lot of rest to catch up on."