PS : Written in Seunghyun's Pov.

PPS : I'm aching.

PPPS : Feedback is love. Thank you. 

One of the greatest mystery in life is love. When you could let other people in and they made you the happiest person on earth. 

It's strange, isn't it?

Love.

It's a grey field, I think. 

It's nice if you could find a particular person and share the same this unidentified flying object with him.

Because for me love is always a blur thing, you know.

It's just like ufo. We don't know when and why and how it happened, but it happened anyway. 

I always crave to be in love and being loved back. 

To give and not expect anything but end up getting more.

And this time, this time, I'm glad I'm not the only one who fall.

This time, someone has finally falling together with me.

It was hard at first. 

I would never know I had it in me.

I'm a loser in this field, but I won't let it happen. 

When it comes to Jiyong, I would fight.

Even if I'm hurting. I would fight the world.

Jiyong said he wanted to name our first daughter as Queen Anne's Lace.

I thought it's gonna be a weird name. It's lovely though but how to choose a nickname out of it?

Queen? Anne? Lace?

It's a very unique name just like the flowers I told Jiyong.

But what if what if just what if her friends end up laughing at her name. What if one day after school she cried because of that.

And thankfully Jiyong said that it's quite long and confusing so we end up scribbling on our note.

I came up with Daisy, Lily, Chrysan, and Orchid.

And also spring and Crimson. But Jiyong said no to all of them.

They are all lovely, he said. But no, way too ordinary.

Anneliese would made a really beautiful name, I fired back.

He said he won't name his child under Barbie's name, ever.

I wonder why Jiyong hates Barbie. He should be thankful that I don't want to name our kid

under gundam or other like Pokemon's names.

I came to love flowers too. Blame Jiyong.

We agreed to used flowers reference for the name.

Because it's the most dearest thing that Jiyong loves that we love.

And also he wanted to be a florist one day, a shop that we could run, us and the kids if we would end up with more than one,

and we could use our kid's name as the shop's name. Lovely isn't it?

This was really hard. Choosing the best name out of those beautiful names. We didn't buy baby-book-names. Jiyong said no to ordinary, so, yeah. I almost gone mad. It's almost time, she would come to us real soon. And we didn't even have a name for her. All things were ready. Her room, her crib, her baby clothes, even her diapers. But no name.

Jiyong came to this florist shop after work one evening.

He told me he found this very beautiful blossom.

He gave me this flowers arrangement.

It has 10 petals or so.

He even wrote my favourite poem. Neruda's.

I love you as the plant

that never blooms

but  carries itself

in the light of hidden flowers.

It was Hydrangea.

It's the name of our daughter.

Hydrangea.

The day when she was born, Jiyong whisper to me.

"Seunghyun, it's Hydrangea."

"I want you to meet the love of our life, Hydrangea."

And I cried. I can't stop crying. 

I supposed to support Jiyong but it was otherwise.

He hold me and gave me this smile, his genuine smile.

Because he knew.

He knew he got me.

Hydrangea has a lot of colors. But it only has one meaning.

It's gratitude, sincere heartfelt emotions.

Hydrangea expressess the giver's gratefulness for the recipient's understanding.

It's a beautiful name and it also has beautiful meaning.

So by now as soon as I look at her. My bad day would vanished rightaway because I knew, she is my life. She is mine and Jiyong's life. Anything wouldn't matter anymore.

We knew from the day she was born, we would pamper her and spoil her rotten.

And She grew up fast.

I used to bring formula milk and biscuits for her eveyday after work.

Jiyong would make sure we always have Hydrangea.

He end up growing one.

We have a lot of it in our garden right now.

Hy also helped Jiyong with gardening.

I sense our florist shop dream might come true real soon.

Now I bring poetry book and her favourite packs of organic tea, weekly. 

Jiyong would bring her instrumental mixtape like Einaudi, Desplat, and Tiersen. Plus fashion magazine, of course.

I always make sure that I did the best to take care of her, of Jiyong, of my family.

I always will. And so is Jiyong.

Our Life is like a puzzle.

Hy is nothing without her fathers, just like I'm nothing without Jiyong, and Jiyong is nothing without me.

When I come home I often find Jiyong sitting by the fish pond, 

with Hy laying her head on his lap, reading her favourite poetry book.

We share the same fav, Neruda.

Jiyong would listen to Hy, reading Neruda's poetry about spring.

And I, I always came to them secretly.

I kissed their forehead, and after that, we would go back upstairs to have dinner.

It was always like that.

And I'm grateful, so grateful.

Hy never asked about our condition. Me and Jiyong, or why she didn't have a mommy.

She knew it very well. We were really open with her since she was very young.

And she understands.

She can see it and feel the warmth in her heart.

The way Jiyong would cry and hug me when I was at my lowest.

The way Jiyong would had gone through panic attacks in the morning when he can't wake me up because I had too much red wine.

Or the way I would protect Jiyong with all of my might.

Or the way I would cook chicken soup for Jiyong.

Or maybe when I would carry him, swing him, held him and dance with him.

Maybe it's the way we take care of each other. The way we put other's need first before ours.

And she knew, Hy knew.

That love knows no boundaries, love knows no color, that love knows no gender.

That Jiyong and I, would stand by her and would always be there for her.

That we, her fathers, would always love her whatever she would become and wanted to become.

That we would always love her. 

Because she is a gift for us.

We would always be grateful for having her in our life.

For having Hydrangea.