The evening you have planned looked amazing, there was nothing, which was less than perfect. We were both in suits, you were dashing, completely taking my breath away. Soon we started eating and music played in the background. My heart was beating like crazy, literally. After a short while of out small talk, little gestures and smiles, you asked me to dance.
Of course, I gladly took your hand, following you to the dancefloor. The room was only for us and the band. And have I already said that you were looking extremely handsome, Jiyong? I guess I did, but... Well, don't blame me, you were.

               Embrace, music started playing at the background and we only swayed a bit, closing the proximity of our bodies. Our fingers were intertwined and I shut my eyelids close, exhaling a calm breath.

 -Hey Seungri, wait! - I've heard a loud yell, stopping in my tracks, but not turning back. It might have been one of those bullies, I was always a quiet kid and they seemed to acknowledge that. Soon, face of the class's dork was in front of me and I raised my eyebrow in a question. It was the 9th grade, we were just teenagers. You bowed your head, but I caught a glimpse of your lower lip between your teeth. The paper was slipped to my hand and then my mouth fell agape. It said: "Would you go out with me?"

               You pulled me even closer, your arm around my waist. The other one was still holding my hand, thumb caressing my skin, causing those little, pleasurable shivers. Your arm was so comfortable to lay my head there. I felt so safe around you.
 

The bullies came back in high school. We weren't exactly hiding with our relationship, but we weren't loud about it either. But I was their target as the weaker one. Once, you saw them, throwing my books out of my shelf and taking my lunch. But when they disappeared around the corner, I haven't seen the most important thing... You've beaten the out of them.
-Your lunch, boyfriend... - you said casually, leaning on the wall in front of me. I looked at you, the shock was clearly visible on my face. Your lip was cut, your face a bit bruised.
-You goof... - I only whispered, pecking your forehead gently. - I love you.

-I love you too, Riri!

And then it started, soon I wasn't just swaying with you. We started spinning. And spinning.  And spinning.

-What the is wrong again, huh? - You yelled through the phone. We went to different colleges and out life became a mess from then. We fought, we yelled, we even broke up after some time.

-What is wrong? The fact that you don't trust me. I can't go out or you say that I am cheating on you. And you know that I could not ever ing do that - I growled, soon ending the call. You tried to call a few times. And of course, after a couple of hours we were alright again.

And then we stopped, my breath hitched, my heart stopped and I was holding onto your tee in silence. I almost fell to my , but I was trying to get a hold of myself, into your arms.

That day, I've ridden back to your city, I've just ended my academic degree and I wanted to celebrate this with you. But what I saw was beyond my imagination. There you were, right in front of some pub. With a girl clung onto your side. You were smoking. You always looked so amazing while smoking, but then... You leaned in to kiss her. And she was kissing you back. The tears welled up in my eyes and I've run back to my car and went to some hotel. I did come back, but next morning. Earlier calliing to you. I passed her in the hallway. You don't even know how much did it hurt.


- What's wrong baby? - You whispered into my ear, gently caressing my back, it. But then I just took a step back.
- You were going to propose, didn't you? - I asked, my voice breaking, by the silence that followed, I knew I was right. - I can't. I won't say yes. I love you, but... You're toxic. I'm so sorry.

And then I run. I've run until my legs were stopping me from the lack of energy. And the world began spinning again.