Yoona’s POV

I can’t believe this day has come! I’m finally getting married! I’m so excited! Oh, I look like a real princess. I checked my make up. Being a bride is stressful, happy, sad, excited.. It’s really hard o explain all these feelings. I’m sad that I’ll leave my parents and my brother in Korea. I’m going to live in Europe when I get married. James, my future husband is a great person and I’m really happy with him.

After dating for a three years, he finally proposed. My family accepted our love and are happy for us. But there is a little “catch” I had no idea. Apparently, in Europe you change your “maiden name” to your husband’s last name. I had no idea I’ll have to change my last name. That’s one more reason to be sad. But my father told me that I should be happy no matter what and that he’ll visit me a lot. I hope he does fulfill his promise. I’ll miss him so much. I guess, I’m really “daddy’s little girl”.

Someone knocked on my door. I answered. It is my sister-in-law.

• Yoong, there is someone who wants to see you – she smiled at me happily. I looked behind her and saw my mother. My sister-in-law smiled once again and left us alone.

God, I missed her all these years. She wasn’t there when I needed her the most. During painful days and long, long nights. But as soon as I saw her, I forgot all that.

She wasn’t there for my graduation ceremony from high school, she never saw me while I was attending university. When I got my degree. She never met James. Considering she wasn’t there for my brother’s wedding I feel happy she decided to show up on my wedding.

She smiled at me and hugged me. I could feel her tears on my shoulder. I barely managed not to cry.

• Mom, I missed you so much – I whispered.
• I missed you too, Yoong. So much – she said and looked at my eyes. She hasn’t aged a day! Still pretty with her wide eyes, shiny hair.. Everyone used to say that I look a lot like her, but I always believed she’s more pretty.
• How.. How are you? Is everything alright in your life? Are you healthy? – I wanted to ask her so many questions.
• I’m fine, Yoong. Don’t worry. I’m alright – I can’t believe she’s now with me, here by my side.
• Did you get to talk with dad and my brother? – I asked as I sat down on my bed.
• No, why? Did something bad happened while I was away? – mom sat next to me.
• No, no. You didn’t get to meet your granddaughter – I said.
• Oh, I met Jiwon! She is adorable. And so smart! I bet she’ll be a great student – smiled my mom. I nodded happily. The hardest day for me was when Jiwon was born. I wanted my mom to meet her first grandchild. But she wasn’t able to come. Not even to call us. I remember crying that day with my brother. We both needed her that day. But I’m ready to forgive her everything. Everything. As long as she stays with us. Suddenly, I remembered a question I wanted to ask many times, but it would be too painful.
• Mom.. – I started quietly.
• Yes? – she smiled.
• How was your wedding with dad? – I tried to smile. I never asked that question. My dad is strong, but I think he wouldn’t have the heart to answer that.
• Oh, I was so nervous – laughed mom remembering the happiest day in her life.
• Your dad had to make jokes all the time so I could laugh and be less nervous – she explained and looked at the floor, with tears in her eyes.
• I knew he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life. My prince charming – my mom blushed a little. I smiled at her. And then I remembered the reality: she’s not there for us.
• But, why did you.. leave us? – I asked carefully not wanting to hurt her.
• I had to, Yoong. As soon as I could, I left. I didn’t want to be a burden for you all. Being all sick.. – her voice got lost. I was on the edge to cry.
• You were never a burden for us – I assured her. But I think she knows that.
• Yoong, sweetie, I couldn’t move without your help. Even going to the toilet was hard task. You know how much I was sick, I had to leave in order for everyone’s happiness. Even mine. I’m perfectly healthy now – she smiled. I saw a lot of pain behind that smile. A lot.
• I’m happy for you. I wish you all the best – I smiled too.
• Thank you, my beautiful daughter. You were always mature – I could see how proud she was of me. It made me happy seeing her proud. Like my life-long wish is being fulfilled.
• Are.. Are you ok with me marrying James? I.. I never talked about him with you – I looked at her eyes.
• Of course, sweetie! He is a great guy! Trust me, he’ll take care of you really good – I was happy she accepted James too. My family is my everything, and I wouldn’t hurt them no matter what. Especially my mom. I couldn’t hurt. Not anymore. After all I’ve done while she was still living with us.. I regret every single thing. I still remember everything bad I did to her. Luckily to me, she forgave me. Long time ago. She just wanted me to be polite and happy. I think I made her wish come true. I sighed as I saw her smiling at me.
• Yoong – soon her smile disappeared. Oh no. Please God, no. Not again.
• I need to go – I could barely hear her.
• No, stay – I said immediately.
• Yoong.. – strated my mom.
• No! Mom, stay with us! – I yelled and stood up. I didn’t wanted to lose her, not again. It was painfully enough the first time. I need her in my life. I can’t.. Without her.
• This is how it should be – she said.
• No, I don’t want to.. – I started.
• I need to go – she repeated.
• I won’t let you go – I took her hand.
• Yoong, I’m sorry. Don’t make this even harder – she pulled her hand back.
• No, I want you here for the ceremony – I said.
• Goodbye, Yoong – she said and took her purse.
• No! – I took her hand again.
• Be happy – she warmly smiled at me and pulled her hand back, again. She headed to the door and I started chasing her.

• Yoona! It’s winter outside! – I heard some voice while I chased her through our living room. I couldn’t care. I was wearing wedding dress for summer, I didn’t have the coat. They can scream as much as they can, but I’m not letting go of her.

God, she was quickly. We ran and ran and ran, until I just lost her. I couldn’t see her around me. I looked carefully. No, I lost her!

• Yoong! – I heard one voice behind me. It was James.
• You were fast – he took a deep breath and smiled. I saw his eyes looking around.
• Yoong, why are we here? – he asked confused. I looked around. Oh, God.
• I.. I had no idea – I was shocked. How did I end up here? I was running through Seoul and managed to get here? And James chased after me all this time? For how long did I.. My mother..

I knew exactly where to look. It was there, a gravestone below tree. Name that was written on a polished rock was well known to me. It was hers. How could I forgot that 10.years ago she left and never came back?

• James, what happened? – I asked confused and scared too.
• You feel asleep and we didn’t wanted to wake you up. Your sister-in-law saw you sleeping and told us. We decided to let you rest a little before the ceremony – explained James and smiled. He soon frowned when he saw me crying. He went to me and hugged me.
• I miss her so much. It’s just getting harder and harder as years pass by. I want to see her, to speak with her. Is that too much? I just want my mom by my side. Is my wish so selfish and bad? – I couldn’t control myself. Is that bad for a daughter to wish that? Is it so wrong?
• I’m sorry, James. We should get back – I finally calmed down.
• Sure. If you want we can postpone the wedding.. – started James.
• No, I’ll just freshen up and I’m ready to go – I smiled. James just nodded.

• But.. Can I keep my maiden name? It would mean a lot to me. I don’t want.. to.. get parted with my family just because of my last name? – I just wanted to have something that’ll remind me of my family, everyday .I think it was kind of shock for James, but he agreed.

After all we’ve been through as a family.. Her being sick , the hospitals, the funeral, her last moments with us, her being remember every single day.

Call me crazy or what so ever, but as I was saying “I do” that day, I felt her presence. She was there. Just like how my brother sensed something on his wedding, but we just called him crazy. I could feel her hand taking mine. I could feel her breath next to me at the altar. I could even hear her laughter.

• Mommy, that’s awesome. I’m sure granny was a great person. I guess your wedding day was chaotic - smiled my 13-year-old daughter as we stood next to the gravestone.
• It’s just a shame you couldn’t meet her – I sighed.
• But she lives. In your stories, mom. We met granny through your stories and thank you for that – smiled my 10-year-old son. I just took their hands and smiled.

Just like that day, 15.years ago, it started snowing. I looked up at the sky and smiled. I know she smiled back.  Just know.

Rest well, mom. Someday, we’ll see each other again.

THE END