She has never felt so lonely like this. Since kid she has always been surrounded by people, friends, family. But now, she was alone. It was her choice, nevertheless.

A change of scenario, a new air, even if just for a couple of days, she needed it. Seoul was suffocating her, draining the last few drops of happiness she had, leaving her almost lifeless.

But even miles and miles away, it still got to her. She realized that as she looked at the beautiful sight of New York City from the balcony of her hotel room and felt empty. She was wondering if this feeling would go away any time soon when her phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"Sooyoung-ah! Happy birthday!" she heard her sister, and probably her entire family scream over the phone.

"Don't scream, I'm going to be deaf!" she said, but Sooyoung never felt so glad to be screamed at. "And thanks, all of you."

She talked to every single one of them before Soojin privately asked her if she was okay.

"I'm fine, don't worry. I just wanted to do something different this year." she said, wondering if Soojin would believe this lie like she herself was trying to.

"Sooyoung, don't." and now she knew Soojin didn't. "You have never spent your birthday away from her. Not once in, like, fifteen years."

"And this is exactly why I am doing this. I need to..." breathe, she thought. "I just need some time alone."

She heard her sister sigh. "Then I'm sorry."

"Huh? For what?" Sooyoung asked, confused.

"Nothing. Just, happy birthday, okay? Don't go too emo today." They said their goodbyes and Sooyoung hung up.

She received some text messages wishing her all the same thing, but happiness felt so distant that soon enough she would think it didn't existed anymore.

The food she ordered remained untouched, although she took a sip of the