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Little Lies

[4686 words]

Pulling her dark brown strands back she exhaled deeply as she looked at her reflection. She sighed softly before running her fingers through the tangles of her hair pulling the bangs back. She did not look much different, merely paler aside from the red lightly cast on her cheeks. She had always heard stories of some sort of change coming through but she did not see any, she figured it was because she was not that far long. She estimated a few weeks at best. She tensed up as she heard footsteps coming towards the room so she hid the pregnancy test down the front of her bra. She did not want to tell him just yet, it was too early - she would double check first not wanting to cause false hope. This was only her first test after all, she had been feeling weird lately and this explained it. Besides she wanted it to be more special than being in the middle of the kitchen and being caught, she would much prefer telling him out straight and in her own terms and as petty as it might seem she wanted to look her best when she told him. A smile graced her lips as strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist, his firm chin settled on her shoulder whilst a quick peck landed on her cheek. Choi Siwon, her husband. There was not one day that she did not think that she was blessed in having a husband such as him.

"Have a nice day at work, dear." Yoona said tilting her head upwards to smile up at him, Siwon merely chuckled before leaving a kiss on her forehead. Yoona bit her lip lightly, she remembered back when Siwon used to kiss her fully and properly. Recently however the kisses seemed to move further away from her lips, a few weeks ago it was her nose, then her cheeks and now it was her forehead. She could not blame him though, he was always in a rush lately, he still greeted her with a hug though she had to smile at that. She took a piece of toast from the toaster before popping into Siwon's mouth much to his amusement.

"Don't forget your breakfast." He gave her a cheeky salute before he continued on his way, she gave a soft smile and began to wonder how she was going to tell him and whether she should have a balloon or something announcing he was going to be a father. He had always spoke of their child and even saved up for one, he would be pleased. She could just imagine his face now, how jubilant he would be. She watched where he had left before chuckling lightly as she began planning how to tell him.

Yoona took a deep breath, Siwon was returning soon but yet she had no idea how to tell him yet. He was later than usual but he mentioned taking a detour to Church, it was not a Sunday so that was out of place but whenever Siwon had too many emotions he tended to go to Church typically when he felt guilty. Yoona had to wonder if he hit a squirrel or something on the way home or messed up a deal. It was an hour later when he returned home but before she could say a word however he was gone upstairs and the sound of the shower rang out, normally he would greet her in the very least but he did look tensed and quite stressed so she'll let it slide today. She fiddled with her fingers for a while before sighing and leaving to bed - she'll see him there. She might push back the telling him further then so he could free up his mind first.

In her pale nightgown she waited for him so she could wish him sweet dreams like she did most nights. He was taking awfully long in the shower so she decided to take her book out to keep her occupied whilst she waited. When Siwon finally came to bed he was greeted to the sight of his wife sprawled over her side of her bed, book in hand as it hung over the side of the bed whilst her bedside lamp remained on all signs of her waiting up for him before finally falling asleep. Siwon exhaled softly shaking his head sadly as he took the book from her hand carefully keeping the page before placing it on the bed stand. He went to kiss her on the forehead but found that he could not, his lips were too tainted now and his heart was not in it with a sigh he sat on the edge of the bed looking at his wife. In the end he just removed the dark hair from her eyes and turned off the light before going under the covers next to her - he could not sleep though, the memories of Kangin's touch haunting him and so not long after he was compelled to leave. Before he did he whispered a small sorry to her.

When Yoona awake she knew Siwon had been there thanks to the book and lamp... but she also knew he had not been there long due to the hardly touched and cold his side of the bed. She swallowed, a tightening feeling in the back of as if she had something caught back there, clearly whatever happened had been worst than she had thought. Absentmindedly she ran her fingers over her stomach wondering when she would start to show. She hoped she would have the chance to tell him before she went on her vacation, she was to visit relatives for a week or so but Siwon could not come with her thanks to work and the likes. Kangin was an alright man from what she heard from Siwon, he was married to an old school friend of hers - Soohyun. It was a pleasant surprise when she found out Soohyun was married to her husband's boss, it was a cause to become more friendly with each other. Kangin would probably have been kind enough to allow him to come with her, she was sure, if it was not for the stress the company was under recently. The company and Kangin needed Siwon right now.

She checked the time, it was before Siwon went to work, perfect. That meant she would have a chance to talk and see him before she had to leave on her vacation, she did not want to have to go without saying good bye to him. However when she got to the kitchen she was greeted with a note... he had to go in early today. With shaky breaths she decided to call him, it was not quite the face-to-face goodbye she had wanted but at least she would hear his voice and there would be a goodbye at the very least. She did not want the wait to tell him the good news either but she knew she had to tell him to his face otherwise it would not be as special, besides over the vacation she could make sure without him butting in and plan how to tell him properly, she still wanted to say goodbye though. He answered much to her relief but he sounded tired, she wondered if he actually slept much last night if at all, that Kangin must not be over working him. They talked for a while about things that did not matter much before Siwon told her how he was going to spend the weekend over at Kangin's, that shot the last chance to see him before she left out of the window. She figured he just forgot the time when he made it and it was obviously work related. She bid him farewell with whispers of love, he merely responded with a distracted response before cutting the call. She would make it to her transport alone then... and she did not get the goodbye she had wanted even then.

Yoona felt like crying, her emotions were swelling up to the surface despite her efforts, she looked over to her brother who was with her and a few tears escaped from her creased eyes, she smiled tearfully before hugging her brother at the news. "I'm really pregnant." She declared before just beaming brightly and hugging him tighter. Siwon could not be there but at least she would be certain when she managed to finally tell Siwon, besides Teukie was just as good. He was her favourite brother - well... her only brother but still, he was so good to her and everyone in general. She joked that he was not really human but an angel sent down to protect and love them. Heechul, Leeteuk's partner however was not as kind to that analogy saying that Lucifer too was a fallen angel often before swatting Leeteuk away screaming that he was a devil whilst Leeteuk just laughed. They were sweet together Yoona had to admit even if she had been shocked when Leeteuk had came out and announced Heechul as his boyfriend... the latter being more of the shock, Heechul and Leeteuk had seemed so different but they fitted together well.

"I think Heechul's a good name." Leeteuk's partner stated sticking his head in to get a good look, he had tagged along because he would not take no for an answer and because he had to drive considering how Leeteuk had managed to lose his license thanks to a drinking incident - Leeteuk himself was not drinking but Heechul had been which had caused scandalous things to happen behind the wheel and so dangerous driving occurred and Leeteuk lost his license.

"You would." Yoona stated with a small laugh before leaving a small peck on Heechul's forehead to which he responded with exaggerated movements and pretending to be all flustered and shy much to everyone's amusement including the midwife's. Yoona smiled, yes she wished Siwon was here but she probably would not replace these two for the world.

"If not Heechul... ChulHee?" Yoona had to laugh as he kept suggesting variations of his name, Yoona had an inkling as fun as that would be Siwon and other members of the family would not agree. Besides her baby should have their own special name just for them.

"You know..." Heechul began wrapping his arm around his favourite in-law. "I'm glad you were staying with us so we got to learn about Heechul Jr. first even if by accident."

"What if they're a girl?" Leeteuk prompted in mild protest to the Heechul Jr. comment, even if he loved Heechul as much as he did. He did not really think two Heechuls would be - two Heechuls would be too much for the world to handle.

"What are you talking about? Heechul is a good name for any gender."

The vacation was going well even if she still missed Siwon, she wondered if he was missing her too and what he would be doing. She hoped Kangin was not working him too hard whilst she was in the lap of luxury. Or basically luxury considering after their knowledge of her pregnancy Leeteuk, being the lovely brother he was, made sure that she did not have to work too hard or put herself under any stress.

He could not have prevented this though. A message came through from Soohyun disrupting the peace that had settled over and the plans to announce the pregnancy. The text was straight to the point as Soohyun's messages often was 'Get back now. Need to talk.' Soohyun had never beat around the bush and her texts where never adorned with hearts or otherwise but direct. The issue though was she did not know why she should get back but it was apparently important as Soohyun did not really call her often for social calls. She just hoped Siwon was okay and he had not been involved in an accident with Kangin or otherwise. She took deep breaths whilst Leeteuk squeezed her hand reassuringly telling her that they would have called her if Siwon had been in an accident as she was his emergency number after all so he was safe. That helped her calm down but she still worried as that was who she was.

In the end Heechul offered to drive her back whilst Leeteuk himself fretted lightly hoping that his dear younger sister would be okay and that it would not be anything too bad, he had to stay behind in order to inform everyone of her leaving but he did wish that he could join her but she had Heechul with her which put his mind at some ease. Besides he would inform him of what was happening concerning his dear sister.

Heechul struck up conversation to help attempt to ease Yoona as well as distract her from worrying too much, Yoona tried her best to allow herself be distracted but try as she did she kept finding her mind drifting back to Soohyun's message. Heechul dropped her to the cafe as she said she should go alone but call him if she needed him. He argued lightly about it but in the end he gave in to her request telling her that he would not be far, just a shout away. He could not allow his husband's sister get into trouble nor would he want to, she was a good kid.

"You came then." Soohyun stated, sourness laced throughout her voice and her grip tightly upon the porcelain tea cup held daintily in her hand, it was a shock to see Soohyun like that. Her makeup was not perfect with a few mascara streaks down her eyes, something terrible must have happened for Soohyun to look anything but her perfect self. She sat opposite her before taking Soohyun's hands in hers when Soohyun put the teacup down. Soohyun tensed lightly before looking at Yoona.

"I'd remain sitting if I was you." She stated as Yoona looked upon her in confusion, "I caught Kangin cheating in the act, he did not even bother stop when I entered." Yoona let out a horrified gasp before squeezing the other's hands in sympathy, she could not bear the mere thought - she would be broken if Siwon was even seen like that.

"I'm so sor..." Yoona began before Soohyun paused her before she could finish.

"Stop it. You need not be sorry. He was with Siwon." Sooyoung cut her with the hard-hitting facts. Yoona was struck as if by a truck by the news... not Siwon. Anyone but Siwon. It made sense when coupled with the clues, that only made it worst however. No. She would not believe it - she refused to believe it. Siwon, the smiling husband who regularly went to Church greeted her so warmly, anyone but him. 

"You're lying." Yoona said thickness leaving her voice broken, she would not believe her. Yoona stood up abruptly. Siwon would not do such a thing to her, to them, herself and her baby both. Sooyoung looked at her disbelief at her reaction, surely Yoona did not have that much faith in her husband. "He would not do that to me, to our baby..." Sooyoung's eyes widened slightly and her eyes darted down to Yoona's stomach at this new development. "He's a man of honour, if he did not love me or found other affections he would not continue a facade." She stated pride seeping into her tone, she could not see why Sooyoung would lie... but Siwon was better than that. "Goodbye Sooyoung." Yoona finished turning on her heels and leaving the cafe calling for Heechul as she did.

She told Heechul to take her home, he did not question her - her tone of voice was not to be questioned with, just obeyed. The safest option for them both he deemed. She told him that he could just make his way back to Leeteuk if he wished, he did not have to stay around her acting like a babysitter how she did not want to be a burden upon him, he allowed her to take alone time but he was not leaving her alone so he instead made sure to keep an eye on her but discreetly making a few arrangements whilst also telling Leeteuk so he would make his way down here as his sister was clearly not okay.

Yoona sighed before pulling her bangs up into a ponytail the emotions finally just hitting her afterwards. She had held them at bay too long, all the disappointment that Siwon had left with the dwindling affection she tried to ignore, the thought of their baby being of a broken home, the thought that he could be cheating. Cheating! She would have trusted him with her life, her and her child's life she would have just placed into his hands with a smile certain he would not abuse her trust. Why didn't he just talk to her! He need not stoop so low, she would have accepted it! All she ever wanted was his stupid damn smile to stay on his dopey face. Her clenched fists hit the settee as tears streamed down as she worked herself up with all these swirling thoughts.

"It would have been hard... but I would have accepted it. Would have hurt less than this... this deceit." Yoona murmured in a weak murmur as she fell backwards onto the settee finally just tiring herself out with the tears and the emotions draining her. "Please... please be wrong... not him... you can like him, just don't cheat or lie. Just don't play games with me." She choked up again fingers falling over her eyes as if in some feeble to wipe the thoughts away with the tears themselves, against everything she had thought her tears continued coming despite thinking they would have dried up by now.

Lying on her side knees drawn to her chest whilst her own arms wrapped around her she softly pleaded to anyone for it to be lies, that Sooyoung had seen it wrong. Misunderstood. That it was not Siwon. Taking a settee cushion she just screamed into it for a while just to let it all out. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." She repeated but she knew she was lying to herself, it just made slightly better to say it. It was something. She made herself some water feeling so dry after the screaming and sobbing.

In the end she just sat staring blankly at the picture of them both from seemly a life-time ago sitting on the mantelpiece, it was from their honeymoon Siwon had her in his arms and had swung her around. They were happy, so happy dressed in dorky clothing of Hawaiian shirts and summer dresses with flowers in their hair, their smiles lit up their faces like the summer sun had lit up the horizon in brilliant reds. Where was that time now? Where was that love they used to have... a sad smile settled upon her face as she held onto the untouched glass of water. She hoped she was wrong. Car headlights light up the window and the room as someone pulled up. How long had she been crying? She had not even notice it go dark.

Two men entered lips entwined as they almost fall in the door like a pair of awkward teenagers, they did not even notice her. Sooyoung was not lying... she cleared . They were not going to do this here... not here, she was not going to soil the good memories they had by allowing them to cover it with this! Out of instinct they leapt from each other.

"Y-Yoona... you were supposed to be back in four days..." So he did notice her absence then, thanks for the goodbye. Sourness was building up but she tried to reel it in reminding herself to remain calm, it was for the baby. She was not even sure if she could feel anymore she had worn all her emotions out thanks to him. She just felt cold, was her being here ruining some of their big plans... what about her? How often had it been about Siwon, how often had she been pushed into the background... just let it be about her for now. Please, just this once. Her eyes felt heavy and gazed but no more tears would come, she felt numb.

"Soohyun texted me and told me to come back earlier." She said surprising herself with how calm she sounded, the hoarseness from her crying earlier still lingered on however aside from that there was little signs that she had just found her husband and her best friend's husband cheating together. Holding her hand, practically cradling it she stood up, it was almost ironic that those to seemed more shocked than she herself was. Siwon broke the silence that had settled upon the scene like a thin layer of dust, he stood there like a lemon muttering a feeble apology - no excuses, no comfort. Just an apology, that only proved to her that all that Soohyun had said was true despite her heart's wishes.

"You know," Yoona began as they hung onto her every word, it was sad really at how he was listening now when it was too late rather than before when she had so wished for it, "I didn't want to believe her. I didn't believe my best friend. I trusted you, Siwon-ah...

...

The way they defended one another, shifting the blame. Then Kangin's admittance, when did this all happen and how could she playing the act of the doting wife  could have been so oblivious and blind to this happening. Then again... she had not, she just did not want to see it. To be honest she may had seen it long before they two ever had but she turned her head away from the signs in hope and denial. What did she have to say... that she was selfish for wanting him for herself? Then again was it truly selfish to want to be loved especially by the one that you so loved yourself - was that selfish? If she could not be happy, if not loved then at least they could. There was not enough love in the world so who was she to stop it when it emerged.

"Don't ever be sorry to love someone, Kangin-ah. ...

...

"Yoona... You... Oh God, I am so sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me?" You never gave me the chance to... sorrow welled up at the knowledge of that, she had so looked forward to telling him. He would have been the first to know if she had only been given the chance, the honour of that had fallen to Leeteuk and Heechul only due to chance but even they had been sworn to secrecy so Siwon would at least be one of the very first people. As he looked into her eyes, his own glistened as tears fell. It would have been too much to say all of this out loud. All the broken ashes of dreams.

(This segment is broken up due to repeating what is said in Crescendo chapter 1)

Soohyun came over as she had promised, she let herself in and took over the pale leather couch for herself, she looked as if she had just came from a high-end business call or from a high-end drama no signs of much stress from the knowledge of the cheating. Her make up was perfect. She looked calculating but Yoona did not notice that much, her mind was still upon Siwon, to an extent she could not believe that he would have done such a thing.

"Hello Yoona." Soohyun greeted with a curt nod, her fingers curled around a coffee flask as she eyed up the other woman, quarter length suit trousers matched her orange suit jacket - she ready to begin this war against their cheating husbands.Soohyun was pleased to see that her old class mate seemed to have grown up since she had last seen her. Yoona had been smiling all sweetly whilst she clung around her husband's arm as if they were still newlyweds at one of the work dos their husbands were invited to and allowed to bring guests. Yoona was no longer filled with those foolish daydreams of happily ever after - about time Soohyun had to think. It had been sickening seeing how perfect she had it, how ever so happy Yoona was whilst she was not.

Yoona nodded lightly in greeting fearing if she said a word all the emotions had held so desperately to hold inside would spill out, she needed to stay strong for her baby - if she was stressed her baby would know. She wanted her budding angel to be as happy as possible in both before and after birth, her baby was all who really mattered now. She ran her palms down her stomach with a soft coo to the growing baby inside her to comfort the dear making sure they would be okay and know that all was okay really.

"I'm taking you learnt the hardway, what did you tell them?" Soohyun asked coolly not even bothering to pretend to have symphany for the other, she was over that she just wanted to know how Yoona had laid it into them giving them exactly what they deserved. And what they deserved was to suffer from the humiliation and pain that she had to suffer.

"I told them to be happy... Siwon looks at him in a way he has not looked at me in a long time." Yoona said with her voice trembling from the emotions swelling up within her, she gave Soohyun a broken smile before taking a shuddering breath and wrapping her arms around herself. Soohyun felt furious at the thought of their thrashing diverted like that and well-wishing! To be honest she was disgusted... but... she could use this. In fact she could milk this and having a pregnant Yoona on her side during court would be that much more convincing.

"Oh sweet-heart." She drawled leaning forward clicking her manicured nails against the coffee table lightly whilst she showed faux pity. "I don't think that would last long... you don't know my husband like I do." She stated before looking at Yoona seriously taking the other's hands in hers with a tight thin-lipped smile. Yoona looked at her in confusion wondering what Soohyun was talking about, from what Yoona seen he was not too bad. He seemed generally caring for Siwon which was why she just allowed it as easily as she had. If he had not she might have took it down a completely different route.

"Why do you think we were on the brink of divorce... it was not from falling out of love. It was from his sleeping with , his cheating and the fact no matter all the promises he makes he always falls back to his old ways. He's still doing it now, it still shows on our shared bank statements, he just does not care enough to hide it, I mean paying on card - he wants to be found out as it'll hurt me more. He's not a nice man Yoona. Do you really think he'll stop just for your husband? He's still doing it now." Soohyun stated with a thin sour smile holding the statement to the other. Yoona bit her lips before paling lightly at the knowledge presented on the slip.

"How could he..." She murmured looking at the cold-hard details. She had trusted her husband to him but here it gave her prove why she should not have. 

"And do you know the diseases he could have easily contracted which he could have passed onto your husband and so you and your baby." Soohyun prompted, Yoona paled at that knowledge, she did not know how long it had lasted but what if it did affect her baby. "I'd take a test if I was you." Soohyun added.

READ FROM Kangin and Siwon's POV in Lusting For My Boss and Crescendo