chapter 4: Heartful Loathing

09 / 24 / 2014    3:57 pm

     Am I already old news? It's been two weeks since she's kissed me. Two weeks since she's looked at me like I'm something special and important to her. And I'm aware I don't know her very well—hell, I really just met her—but I can tell something is different. Something is wrong. She's barely spoken to me, or any of the other girls for that matter. Her words have become more scarce than Irene's which is just completely, completely unnatural. If I know anything about Soojung, it is that she likes to talk—she likes the sound of her own voice—which only makes me and, I'm sure, all the other girls more worried.

     At first, I thought she was just bored of me and that was why she hadn't kissed me or talked to me, and I still kind of think that now, but mainly I think she sees something bad heading our way—something really bad and I have no idea what it is. I have no idea how to help her.

     "Hey, you. Kid!" I look up, "You gettin' on or not?" The bus driver asks, looking over at me with tired, drooping eyes. His mop of black hair sticks to his forehead with sweat, and I cringe when I notice the pit-stains on his navy blue uniform.

     "No, sir," I shake my head. "I've got a ride."

     "Suit yourself." He shrugs, and the tarnished yellow and black doors slide closed. With a shoosh and a groan of the vehicle's engine, the bus drives away. Only two cars remain in the parking lot, Soojung's sports car (which is looking more dinged up than usual) and an old Hyundai that I presume to be the janitor's. I was hoping Soojung would walk out of the school and offer me a ride home, but she hasn't. I haven't seen her since classes ended half an hour ago and, no matter how dumb it sounds, I miss her.

     I decide with a shrug that I'll just go looking for her instead of waiting.

     I reenter the school, and am already a bit frighten at the sight of the empty halls. The sun is still shining brightly outside, but without all the students and teachers crowding the building, it just seems abandoned. And the peeling paint and graffiti on the walls definitely isn't helping.

     My search for Soojung takes no more than a minute, (she had been exactly where I expected her to be, next to her locker) and right as I'm about to call out to her, I notice she is not the only one standing there. Amber is across from her, her eyes shining with tears, her red hair a ruffled mess atop her head. I can't see Soojung's expression, her back is turned to me; only showing her tangles of blonde hair, but I hope—I so hope tears aren't running down her cheeks too.

     "Soojung, I love you."

     My heart jumps into my throat and my stomach churns. I knew it. I knew there was something going on between them. I duck back around the corner, my hand clasped over my mouth to quiet my breaths. I listen attentively for Soojung's answer, feeling just a bit guilty that I'm listening in on their private conversation.

     I can hear Soojung sigh solemnly, "Don't call me that."

     "Oh, I get, I get." Amber laughs bitterly, "I, the girl you've known for five ing years, can't call you Soojung, but that sweet, little you just picked up can?"

     I gasp and swallow the urge to yell at her for calling me something so foul. 

     "Amber, you know that isn't true."

     "Oh, really? What is it then? You let her call you that 'cause you want her to be your girlfriend? Huh?"

     "You know why. Wendy wants me to protect Sooyoung. I can't just..." Soojung trails off, "Look," She lowers her voice to a whisper, "Just wait a bit longer, I promise I'll--"

     A slap echoes through the building and even though I know I shouldn't, I peak my head back around the corner to see what's just happened. Soojung holds her cheek with both hands, her back pressed against the lockers, her face painted with utter shock.

     "No, I'm not waiting any more. you, Soojung." Amber hisses, leaning in towards the other girl. Her cheeks are stained with dried tears, " you."

     Before any more words can be exchanged, Amber storms away, right past me witho