The bell rang indicating it was break time. Jongin walked out of the class with overpowering feeling of grumpy, loneliness and a kind of low-headed. Chanyeol could not attend the school today as he is currently participating in tournament of high school bands. So far he was only told about Chanyeol's absence. He had not seen Taemin since morning up until now.

He must has cut classes. It was an irritating thought. Although there’s improvement in his attendance, this had became his new habit. Taemin would showed up after missing two classes in the row with a cool attitude, like the warning he got was no big deal. Once Jongin had brought up about Taemin’s bad attitude, Taemin simply changed the topic, showing neither interest to talk further nor an ounce of respect for him.

“Drop it! This is not the right time to think about him, Kim Jongin.” Jongin told himself as he broke into the dining hall.

Jongin stood for a long time at the entrance. The other students fell into their places, immediately filled all the available seats. Jongin was hungry, but he had never really eaten with anyone else. While his eyes roaming around searching for an empty spot, Tao pick up on this. He smirked as he watched Jongin closely.

Jongin found a spot for himself. He certainly didn’t have inclination to sit with the others. He opened the lunch box and proceed to eat like hungry animal. He was almost through when he noticed noise had died down around him. He looked up to meet Baekhyun stares while Tao who was standing beside the smaller boy suddenly making oinking noise and laughed halfway.

“Tsk..Tsk...Who taught you to eat like that boy?” The mocking in his voice.

Baekhyun spoke,“Hey, why don’t you teach us. We would like to learn how to revolt the whole dining hall without really trying.”

“I’m sure that takes a lot of practice. You don’t get disgusting like that naturally.” Tao leaned forward and looked into Jongin’s face.

Jongin made no comment. He knew the boys was always like this. throwing the foods, cursing people and causing big commition. He was supposed to leave but then Baekhyun stopped him. “Wow, not that fast.”

He pushed Baekhyun roughly, failed to catch Baekhyun shocked expression as he stumbled. Jongin walked faster. The day was horrible. Sehun chased him down and took a swipe of his feet, whistling as Jongin became tangled before he tripped and landed flat on his face. His glasses fell off with a crash. This upset him much more than being tripped. Felt devastated, Jongin stood up.

“Oh Sehun!”

Before they could attack him again, a loud voice boomed out from a veranda. Like a bolt of lightning , startling them all.

“Hey, stupid! That was not funny. You’re done. Pay up, say you’re sorry to him and get the hell out of here!” Seeing Taemin who was overcome with arrogance, they stopped.

Sehun resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“ off dude, what are you going to do about it?”  Followed by ruckus laughter like Baekhyun said something incredibly humorous.

Taemin waited a bit. Minutes later, the guys stopped laughing and were looking at them, waiting for the next move.

“I’m going to hurt you real bad if you are still here in fifteen seconds. Your other guys can show off, no foul leave and move on. Or you can stay with these two clowns and get hurt too.”

Jongin looking around to see any help was available. Honestly, he was afraid. Taemin might get hurt like last time.

“What’s your problem, Taemin. It was just a ing joke.” Tao in playfully, patting Taemin on his shoulder.

“Watch you mouth.” He hissed.

“It was a joke, dude.” Sehun added signalling Tao to withdrew his hand.  

“Well, Jongin must have missed the funny part. I know I did. Say you’re sorry.”  Taemin commanded, a wave of anger threatened to erupt.

The boys looked at Taemin in shocked disbelief and a churning confusion. Sehun clasped his hand and closed his eyes for a moment, as if he was listening to another voice inside his head. When he opened his eyes he spoke to Jongin, “Sorry man, it was just a joke.” His apology was harsh and unwilling, but the words hit like a ton of bricks. Wow! Jongin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It couldn’t be that Sehun would want to apologize that easily. Then the truth knocked his sense,Taemin hold a huge part in this school and Sehun maybe just don’t want to get himself in trouble.

Upon hearing, Baekhyun’s jaw dropped and exchanging look with Tao.

“What are you guys waiting for? Let’s go." Sehun said lowly, gritting his teeth. They all turned to leave.

Taemin gaze softened as he watched Jongin hunkered down to pick up his glasses. One lens was starred with white and the arc of the frame was broken. He hoisted himself to his feet and held the glasses close to his face, inspecting it.

“You broke your glasses again?”

Jongin can’t take it anymore. His worries makes him furious.

 “I can take care of it by myself.”  Jongin stormed out of the place, leaving Taemin standing in utter shocked and alarmed. Immediately he picked up his pace and ran after him.

‭“Hey! Where are you going?"

‭“Stop following me.” Jongin warned without slowing a step or looking back.

‭Taemin continued running, for a little did Jongin know he had caught up with him. Taemin placed a hand beneath Jongin’s elbow and steered him towards the empty classroom. “Your modesty is so unnecessary.” At his pull resistance, a surprising heat stirred between them. Taemin held his elbow more firmly.  

Jongin was exhausted, he just stood there staring at Taemin sharply,“Why are you humiliating me in front of them?‭”

‭Taemin gave Jongin an incredulous look, “No. I was protecting you. I ended things before they gets complicated.”

‭“I didn’t need your protection. Don’t start that now, Taemin. They knew my every move and countered me at every turn. I would appreciate if you back off. I don’t need your help.”

‭“Yes, you did. You are innocent and helpless. You should be grateful I called a halt.”

‭“And I should be grateful you accidentally told everyone that you're on my side. You, a boy that everyone fears. How do you think that played out for me?”

‭Taemin tipped his head, acknowledging the point. He had forgotten the rumors of Jongin hitting on him. The new rumors emerged among students because they always seen them together. “Isn’t that what we are supposed to be? A couple who stood for each other?”

“Drop it.‭ ‬We’re not official.‭”

“I will make us official‭!”

‭Leaning forward, Taemin draped his arm around Jongin, kiss him quickly on the mouth. Then straightened.  It was madness and Jongin was beyond incensed. This was so strange to him how horrible he felt when Taemin kissed him‬.‭ Jongin pushed away harshly. Wiping his lips with the back of his hand. He was truly disgusted.

‭”What now, you want everyone to see us kissing?!" Jongin shouted.

“What’s with your reaction‭? ‬Don’t you like it‭?”

‭“Do you want them to accuse me again? You like the fact that they say I’m your ?"

Perhaps‭ Taemin‬ was overreacting,‭ ‬maybe expecting something more.‭ ‬It doesn’t looked like Jongin was about to give in.‭ ‬The surge disappointment filled his entire being,‭ “They would not dare to speak a word if I warn them. They would not do anything to you if we’re together. They won’t go against me.”

“We will ‭never be together! Don’t you get that? You’re taking this in a wrong way. When you first come to me, I had to take pity on you. But it was never love.” It was that statement, the statement came from Jongin’s mouth, His eyes were filled with venom.

‭“Why must you repeat it so often that there is no love?” Taemin asked with trembling voice.

‭“Because what I feel for you is not real. Love have so many strings, Taemin. I don’t want to tangled up in those strings and never find my way out” Jongin swallowed the bitterness of words he had thrown.

‭“So you cut them?”

‭He was completely off-guard by his question. He did not saw this coming, Jongin vaguely remembered how Taemin first came to him, requesting to be his boyfriend. As if seeing the different person in him, which weaker and hopeless. Only appeared mildly upset about this. Jongin hardly replied, “I wish I had cut them. We both know I just kept giving you more and more slack, confusing you with my intentions.”

‭“You’re hoping I eventually let go? But, I can as stubborn as you when I want something and I want you,” Astonished, Taemin stammered. “I couldn’t see past that.”

‭“It was my mistake. I was being stupid. I didn’t know how to stop you. I didn’t know how to put it in halt, how to slow it down.”

‭“Then just accept me, is that difficult?” There was an anguished in his tone. As if Taemin wanted to stop listening, to deny what Jongin said, what Jongin felt.

‭Jongin’s face darkened, his body thrumming with tension. “Realizing you can come at me from every angle and still yields the same result. That must really hurt. A boy like you, a spoiled brat who used to getting what ever you wants, to come up on me, to not be able to have me, knowing I’m smarter than you, knowing that I rejected you over and over, realizing you can’t have me. It must be hurt.”

‭“Is that how you see it?”

‭“Tell me this, if I were anything less, would we be having this conversation?"

‭ Taemin was being defensive, doing his best to remain calm.

‭”I know what I don’t need. I don’t need a guy who behaves like a fox.”

‭“A fox? I’m doing this because I love you.” Taemin repeated strongly, and clearly. “I love you, Jongin.”

‭“If you truly loves me, you should learn to let go. If you loved me you would want me to be happy. No matter what choices were, you would want my happiness. The same goes to any other people. Love would not want you to make anyone a prisoner. Love is not supposed to suffocates anybody.” Even as he said it, he felt himself breaking into two. Jongin didn’t know why. He knew he was telling the truth, he knew he was. Why did the truth make him feel so wretched?

He saw something like pain flash across Taemin’s eyes. He hardened his heart and did not let those feelings of sorrow affected him. Just how much pain Taemin could be in after all? Whatever his pain, it couldn’t compare to how much Jongin had to take.

“So what now?”

Jonghyun frowned. “What do you mean what?”

“What do I do now?”

“Well, hell Taemin. you can call Kai, have him come over, force him to drink and then him six ways to Sunday.”

Taemin smile, embarrassed perhaps. He held his hand close to his mouth and closed his eyes.

“You do know what it means right?” He asked. Then, took a long drink from his beer.

“Enough.” Jonghyun said and stood up. He started to clear bottles from the table. Taemin reached out and took his hand. The younger tugged at him until he sat down again.

“Why it is so difficult for you to forget about her? She goes out with that guy and neglects you. She’s a loser.” Taemin suddenly asked.

Jonghyun was reluctant to speak. He bit his lip. His jaws flexed violently. His eyes flashed and got slightly tearful.

“Was it because she was the first...?” Taemin insisted strongly.

“It’s not that I can’t forget her. It’s hard to forget the memories that we spent together. All the good things will always try to get me. Recovering took pretty long time but I feel better now because I have you.”

Taemin snorted, “I wish you could stop talking about her. I feel sick.”

They laughed. Then there was a silence.

“Listen, Taemin-ah,” Jonghyun spoke quietly. “Relationship does not always end on happy terms. Sometimes we’re at the top and sometimes we’re at the bottom. You have to work yourself up to climb the top again. Drinking doesn’t solve anything. You need to be out there, out there talking to him, clear things out....and sure there are rough edges and sharp corners, but that’s just the way it is. If you never live a life then you’ll wind up more bitter and twisted.”

Taemin couldn’t think of anything to say. Jonghyun was right, right enough to empty his head of any reply. He looked at him. He hated Jongin, but at the same time, he cared for him as much as anyone he had ever known.

Jonghyun pressed his hand at the side of Taemin’s face and catching on the tears that lining on his face. “You never cry before. So why now?”

“I’m tougher than you think.” Taemin pouted and titled his head back, watching him.

“I know you’re Taemin, but-”

“We make a deal,” Taemin interrupted, he needed to share the sadness that swelling in his heart. It was almost unbearable to keep it alone.

Jonghyun nodded hesitantly as if asking him to proceed whatever things he wanted to say. Taemin’s despair beginning to make sense.

“I asked him to be my boyfriend. It just one-time thing, a fling. A relationship that cannot be public and no future. I invested so much emotionally and everything seems fine at the beginning...”

“Of course he cannot develop feelings for you because you’re the one who suggested that idea. You’re looking for non-strings-attached agreement, Taemin. That’s what’s obvious to me!” Jonghyun exclaimed and flops in his chair. Taemin moved uncomfortably, his eyes shifting away from him.

Jonghyun recognize Taemin uneasiness. A flicker of apprehension gnawed at his inside. “What ing love can do at this moment? I look damn pathetic in front of him. He thrown me off with cruel words and treated me like a trash.”

“Maybe because he was holding back too much.He probably thought you're forcing him.”

“I should have foresee this coming.” Taemin feared. “What if he didn’t want to see me again?”

“I think you guys really shouldn’t see each other until he is clear on what is it  he feels for you. Give him a little space to think about you. Don’t pushed him around. You’re not going to be able to dodge bullets forever. At some point, you’ll have to let him open up and let everything come out.”

Jonghyun said calmly. By the way Taemin gripping the glass and