credit: SelGomez151 on YT

There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old, tired lonely place
Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

(first stanza)

Bad Guy PD and staff brought us to this new party lounge somewhere in Seoul. I am relatively new to this business and though my Bad Guy sunbaes take care of me, I can't help but feel slightly alone. Am I weird for feeling this way? I was never much of a party girl, to be honest. I go out at times, but not this kind of thing in elite clubs that VIPs frequent everynight. Dont get me wrong, this isn't such a bad idea...it's just that I'm not yet used to it. I will, in the future. I kinda expected it to happen anyway when I took on the role of Hong Mo Nae.

I keep smiling politely to everyone I meet, I'm not even sure if I've already met them before or not. I'm still not very familiar to this and it doesn't help that I'm not good at remembering people's faces and their respective names. And I don't want to be dubbed as a snob newbie if I fail to greet someone whom I was introduced before just because I can't remember their face anymore. Afterall, there are so many people to meet in the entertainment business. I'm just thankful that my Bad Guy family tries to help me cope with everything. And besides, people always say I have pretty smiles...that would have to do for now.

I wish I have a friend around here whom I can talk to, just to ease my tension and insecurities. Every now and then, I would see a famous movie star. Or a very beautiful CF queen. Or an idol singer. Or a group of idols. One or two of them said hi politely, they must have at least recognized me as the brat girl from Bad Guy. Some of them got introduced to me by my sunbaes who seemed to have known them all their lives. I can see that they all enjoy hanging out here.

Me? I feel awkward and a little shy at this point. I feel like I'm transgressing the boundary of an ordinary girl's life and the world of glamorous people. You won't blame me if I am not yet as comfortable as them, right?

I just wonder if they all felt the same way that I do now when they were still rookies in their fields.

Still dressed up in my stylish Mo Nae clothes, I decided to walk around... trying to enjoy the moment. I walked a little far off our table. As I neared the bar, one group of particularly happy boys caught my attention. I recognized them immediately. Who wouldn't?

SS501 BOYS. One of the sunbae idol groups in the music industry. How could I not know them? I am not as sheltered as people think, afterall, I live in a generation when it's the most natural thing to be a fangirl of one group or another.

My eyes scanned their table, curious if what I see on variety shows is what they truly are in real life.

Park Jung Min is talking loudly and it looks like he is bullying the maknae Kim Hyung Joon to death. Kim Kyu Jong and Heo Young Saeng are immersed in a talk I couldn't make out of because of the noise and playing music. One man I'm not very familiar with (but I guess he is their manager hyung?) is talking to another boy on the far end of the table. That must be their leader Kim Hyun Joong. I couldn't see him clearly because the boy is looking down. 

I don't know what has gotten into me to stare at their table for a quite a while. I feel like watching one of their variety shows, only this time it's happening in front of my very eyes.

I don't know how long I have been staring at their table, immersed in my thoughts. I focused my view on the boy whose face I couldn't clearly see. 

Then that boy chose that moment to look up.

Our eyes met.

Everything around me became a blur. All the discomfort and unsure thoughts I had earlier vanished from my head.

All I focused on was a pair of shining eyes staring back at mine. Smiling eyes. The most beautiful I've seen around.

I stood rooted there like an idiot, very much shocked and embarrassed at being caught spying on them. On him.

KIM HYUN JOONG.

Then he gave me a smile.

A faint smile. The kind of polite smile you usually give to and receive from strangers.

I can't remember if I smiled back or not, still frozen in my spot, not breaking the eye contact, which to me seemed to have lasted an eternity.

I then looked down to hide my blush.

When I looked up again to get another peek of his face, he wasn't looking anymore.

Did he really stare back at me?

Did he really smile?

Was it just my imagination?

I didn't have a chance to confirm it, a sunbae came from behind me and whisked me back to our table.

*****

So that was Kim Hyun Joong.

Sure I heard a lot about him. SS501 is a popular group, just like their contemporaries DBSK and SUJU. With a handful of CFs to boot. And BOF certaily made its impact on Korea, though I did not watch the whole drama completely. After Jihoo-sunbae, Kim Hyun Joong became a household name, indelible in people's minds.

Even our housekeeper's little daughter is a fangirl.

I've always heard compliments about Kim Hyun Joong's looks. True enough, he is that good-looking as people say. But what I saw was so much more than they described. I wasn't standing upclose but I still felt this certain charm oozing from him.

Something about him made me want to get to know him more.

I want to touch his face. I sound creepy, I know.

I am crazy, right? Totally starstruck. Poor me.

And his smile and shining eyes, they completed his perfectly sculpted face.

Wait, did he really look and smile at me?

Many times, I tried stealing glances at their table from where I sat and I saw him happily playing with his group members and he never returned my glance.
 

So maybe everything from earlier was just a part of my imagination.

But his eyes and smile were all too captivating to be unreal.

Aish. Me and my imagination.

Only one thing is for sure.

I was enchanted to meet you...

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

A/N: It's more difficult than I thought. I wish there's just a brain decoder or something to translate my thoughts into words. And it's not easy to use first person pt-of-view in writing. I'm still trying it out. T_T Could someone give an honest review/constructive criticism for this? Just to help me. PM me if you are shy. :) Thanks for reading :)