“I didn’t know you’re here. Can I seat here?” 

I look up and see Donghae hyung standing on the side

“Ah yeah…” I said taken aback seeing him here

 “So this is why you suddenly disappeared after the concert” Donghae said seating next to me

“We were supposed to watch it together but other guys made other appointments so here I am on their behalf” I said looking on Donghae hyung

His wearing a plain shirt and pants like a normal person. His not even wearing a mask to hide his face.    Fans had probably spotted him when he enters this venue. Even in this attire this hyung… how can I say it? His still too dazzling.

“Isn’t Super Junior having an after party after the concert?”

“Well yeah but how could I miss his Solo day when he even personally gave me a ticket for this day”       Donghae said smiling

He clearly adores Hoya. I can see it. But why does it hurt? I don’t even know what to say.

The concert had already started when I arrive. Because of our conflicting schedules I wasn’t sure if I could make it on time. Today was also our Smtown concert. Gladly it was scheduled earlier today.

“Have you heard about Hoya’s injury?” Donghae hyung asked me

“Yes. Key told me about it” I said still looking on the stage.

The venue was filled with Inspirits. Were currently seating on the second floor of the stadium. With this small venue the fans would be able to see them clearly even without looking on the big screens. I wish Shinee could do this type of concert too. Maybe someday.

“I hope he wouldn’t strain his self too much. I’ve heard it’s a quite serious injury...”

I nod “I hope so too...”

It was a lie. About Kibum telling me about Hoya’s injury. I actually overheard his conversation with Woohyun on the phone. It seems like Woohyun have been complaining how hard headed Hoya is, wanting to still participate on their activities and not even considering how serious his injury could get. I was dying from curiosity to know what happened. But i know it would be dangerous to ask him. He knew me too well. He can read me like an open book. Hell he might even know things that I don’t know about myself. That’s how dangerous he is.

That’s why i decided to look it up on the net. I’m sure there would be news about it. And what i saw made me upset and mad. I want to fly back to Korea to drag and tie him down.

Hoya sustained an injury while recording on HeeYeol sunbaemins show. Twisting his ankle and injuring some of his ligaments.

 

Then i saw him on Music core. They were still promoting Back. I can’t even explain how heart breaking seeing him standing on the side when he should be dancing with them. I asked him about his injury but he only smiled at me and said it’s not that serious. Hell it wasn’t. He can’t even walk properly.  Then news came out that his injury is far more serious than it seems. He needed to rest for at least a month or two but being a hard headed as he is he still wants to participate on their upcoming concert. And the hardest part is that I can’t do anything to stop him.

I don’t know when it started. To see him the way i see him now. To care for him. And every single day I want more. It’s almost driving me crazy.

 

Infinite and Shinee. Maybe because of the conflicting things that surrounded our group we were awkward with each other’s presence. But I don’t know what happened. They just became a special part of us. We would always be glad if we could attend concert and events with them. But he remained awkward to us especially to me.

 

I remembered it clearly when he started to smile and talked to me more. It was after that incident. It was during sports idol when i miserably fall. I was so sad after that. And because my members weren’t there i feel more depress on the situation. But infinite keep me company. Specially him. Telling me silly jokes and funny things. Since then he opened up to me more.

Hoya said he can’t get close easily on persons he only meet through broadcast that’s why he haven’t have close friends in our industry. But he has those who have broken that wall. Friends outside infinite. They’re few but he smiles at them and care for them that makes me feel envious on that person. Just like the way he would smile and take care of Feeldog or Heechul. I thought at first i just saw him as special friend. Like the way Kibum see Woohyun. Someone who is like me. Maybe because we have the same role on our group as rappers and dancers and share a love for playing sports.

 

“Say Minho do you like Hoya? In a romantic way I mean?” Donghae hyung suddenly asked me

“I…uhh..no..” I was caught off guard by his question

I wasn’t sure if I should tell the truth or not

“Why are you asking such questions hyung? You know I don’t swing that way right?” I laughed trying to get rid of the awkwardness that I feel

“Yeah… It’s just that the way you look at him… I can’t really explain it properly. You know I’m not good with words… it’s just the way you look at him is full of longing… and even if you do swing that way there’s nothing wrong with that. You know we don’t judge people with who they like. As long as that person could make you happy…” Donghae hyung said while looking on the stage

The concert is about to end.

“Yeah I know…”

Donghae hyung is another dangerous person. Though he may act childish and dense at times, he can sense things that are keep hidden.

Am I that obvious? Though I try so hard to hide it… not even telling anyone how I really feel…

“Shall we go to the backstage?” he said while standing “I’m sure the boys would be thrilled to see us”

I stand up and follow his lead.

 

I know that hyung is a Hoya fanboy and that he likes him a lot. I remember hearing from Kyuhyun hyung that Donghae hyung keep on praising Hoya after watching his drama. He keeps on telling them again and again until Ryeowook hyung made a way for him and Hoya to be friends. I remembered them saying that it was the first time that Donghae hyung adore and praise someone openly and how happy he gets every time they would meet Infinite on concerts.

I’ve known that drama Reply 1997 but didn’t have the time to watch it because of our schedules. And I wish it remained that way, because that drama had become my turning point. It confirmed how I really feel about him.  I was so jealous and mad. Just thinking of him with other guy makes it so unbearable to me. Even knowing it’s only a show seeing how he looks at him; thinking that he might really love him for real makes me feel so jealous that I can’t bear to watch that show.

 

On the backstage

 

Hoya was seating on a stool while talking to some Coordi Noona. He seems so tried.

“Hyung!” Hoya suddenly stand up seeing Donghae hyung approaching him “Hyung you said you wouldn’t be able to come?”

“I wanted to surprise you. Minho’s also with me too” Hyung said looking for me

 

I was few meters away from them. I can’t bear to come any closer.

“Hey, Thank you for coming” He said with that gentle smile on his face

I just nodded and smiled back at him.

 

“You did great tonight. It was wonderful!”  Donghae hyung said while patting Hoya’s head

Hoya smiled brightly

“Thank you hyung!”

“You always surprise me. Is there anything you can’t do?”

“None. I think I can do anything if I always practice hard”

Donghae hyung laughed at his answer “Yeah I know you would always do great”

 

“Hey!” someone tap me on the back

I look around and see Woohyun on my back

“Hey great concert! Another successful night!”

“Thank you. Well our Hoya must be happy. His favorite hyung is here despite the busy schedule” Woohyun said while looking at Hoya and Donghae hyung that seems to have their own world

“Does he really like him…” I said almost audible

Still…

“Ow I’m sorry I didn’t mean to add more salt on your wound”

Could he possibly…

No.

“What do you mean?” I asked

“Well it’s up to you if you would let the person you love to be taken away by another person right in front of you” Woohyun said and pat before leaving me alone.

 

How could he possibly…

No.

I looked again at Donghae hyung and Hoya.

I want him to look only to me. To smile only to me. But I’m so afraid. What if he ends up hating me?  Or ends up avoiding me? How would I be able to handle that…

 

“Hey there’s something on your face” Donghae hyung said and touch Hoya cheek

“Eh? Is there?” Hoya said

Damn it!

I can’t do this anymore.

“I need to talk to him hyung” I grab Hoya’s wrist and drag him away from that room even before Donghae hyung could respond

“Hey! Minho ah~ slow down where are we going?” Hoya said trying to keep on my pace

I didn’t answer.

I need to talk to him.

Somewhere we could talk by ourselves.

“Hey why aren’t you answering?! Hey you know I’m injured right?!” Hoya said looking at me.

I can feel that his gaze.

“Hey! Minho ah~ “

Finally I see an empty dressing room.

“Let’s talk”

I drag him inside and close the door.

“What s wrong?” he asked

I’m freaking crazy. I just want to run away.

“Minho ah~”

How should I start?

“Hey”

“Say do you… like Donghae hyung?” I said not looking at him

“Eh? Yeah of course how could not anyone like hyung?” He said

“Not like that. What I want to say is… Do you love him?”

“Eh?”

“Do you love him? Do you have feelings for him? More than as a hyung?” I said looking at his eyes trying to find an answer

“Eh why are you asking such questions?”

“Or is it In guk sshi or Kwang suk sshi?”

“What are you talking about?!”

“Answer me!”

“Why do want to know?! What are you being angry about?”

“Because I freaking love you and it’s driving me mad seeing you with them! “ I said looking at him

I can see the shock on his face

I’m doomed. He would probably hate me for being like this.  

“I thought you…” He said

“Yeah I know. But seeing you with someone else hurts a lot. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want you to look only to me. To smile at me. I want you to be with me.  I want to care for you. I know this is crazy. I know we’re both guys and telling you this kind of things will only make things complicated. But please don’t hate me… I just honestly love you… “I said looking at him

He keeps silent looking at me.

Should I just take back what I said and run away from this place but my whole body is trembling. My heart is beating so fast. I felt like I’m about to fall any moment.

But then tears started to fall from Hoya’s eyes.

Did I scare the hell out of him?!

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you…”

“I… I always thought that my feeling would never be returned…” He said almost audible

“Your… what?!” Did I just hear him right?!! “Does it mean you like me too? The way I like you?!”

I can’t believe this is actually happening!

Hoya shyly nodded

I suddenly hug him.

“This is true right?!” I said still hugging him

“Yes” He said hugging me too “I’m so afraid to let you know… Thank you for loving me too…”

I broke from our hug and hold his face with my both hands

“Thank you for loving me too…” I said looking at his eyes  “Can I…uh..” My face is burning hot

“Uh… yes”  Hoya said blushing reading what was on my mind

I was about to kiss him when suddenly the door opened. We immediately separated and then Woohyun came in

His going to give us a heart attack!!

“I’m sorry i didn’t mean t to disturb you two but your boyfriends parents are already looking for him.” Woohyun said looking at me

I can feel my face burning. Hearing the word boyfriend. And before I could say another word Woohyun took Hoya’s arm and drag him out of the room

“Wait.” Hoya said stopping and look at me “ I’ll... I’ll call you later... ” he said blushing and then left the room leaving Woohyun behind

“Yeah I’ll wait for you...” i said with a smile on my face

“Aishh this scene is killing me! You two are just too cute I can’t handle it!”  Woohyun said covering his face

I just laugh at his statement.

“Thank you hyung ”

“Just make sure you’ll take care of him or we’ll hunt you down” Woohyun said smiling but looking at my eyes

“I’ll do my best for both of us.”

Woohyun smiled. He knows things would be more complicated and an empty promise is something that I don’t want to say to him

 “I’ll get going then.”

“Thank you again” I said

“Uh I just remembered Donghae hyung said he would wait for you on the parking lot.”

“Uh thank you I totally forgot about Donghae hyung”

“Of course all you think about is Hoya” He said laughing

I suddenly remembered something.

“I almost forgot.  Can you not tell this to Kibum? I would tell them personally. But not tonight.  He wouldn’t leave me at peace if he would know about this… I uh…” I hesitate to finish what I’m about to say

“Yeah. Yeah I know you want to spend the whole night talking to your boyfriend” Woohyun said laughing

“Please stop using that word its making me blush” I said holding both of my cheeks

Woohyun just laugh again at my action.

“Well I’ll pray for you then because Kibum already knew that you were going here. “ He said with a wide smile on his face.

“Uhrgg I knew it!” I said holding my head

Even though I didn’t tell them that I’m going here he already knew. Can I not go home… urggg he wouldn’t leave me at peace later.

Woohyun was still laughing at my problematic look over Kibum.

“Well see you again”

He said and left the dressing room.

Sigh.

How should I avoid him later?!

 

I’m still thinking of ways to avoid Kibum later when I arrived at the parking lot.

I saw Donghae hyung seating on the hood of his car looking at the sky. His probably been bored waiting for me. I quickly run towards him.

“I’m sorry hyung”

“Its fine” he said standing up “So I guess it went well?” He said with a smile.

“Uh…yeah…” I said blushing

“Haha look at you blushing on a mere question. Let’s invite your boyfriend to play soccer when he fully recovered from his injury” He said smiling

“Aishh hyung don’t call him like that. Its making me blush” covering my cheeks

I need to get over this blushing over the word “boyfriend” thing.

“By the way hyung how did you recognize me on that crowd?”

I was wearing a face mask and covering my head with the hood of my jacket before the concert starts.

Donghae hyung raffled my hair

“Of course how could a parent not recognize their child?” He said with a smile

I smiled back.

“Let’s go home it’s already late.” He said getting on the car

“Can I not go home? Kibum would nag me to death!!”

“I’m sure he would” Donghae hyung said laughing

“Aish Hyung help me”

 

• The end

 

 

Note: thank you for reading please do leave comments. violent reactions?suggestion? ^___^