The school term passed really quickly and they were having their finals in a week. They had barely passed all their tests the entire term, and if they wanted to be promoted to the next year, they really needed to study. Woobin, especially, was determined to do well in his finals. Not only because he thought it was his responsibility, but also because he had made a deal with his parents – that if he did well, they would allow him to enrol into a model school. Jongsuk didn’t really care about doing well, he just didn’t want to retain, and Woobin wasn’t going to allow that either.

The past week, Woobin had been dragging Jongsuk to his house to study together. They often studied late into the night and Jongsuk had been staying over at Woobin’s house quite a bit.

So there they were in Woobin’s room, trying their best to focus on their studies.

“…woo….bin…”

“mmmm?”

“….”

Woobin turned to look at the boy who had dozed off next to him. He laughed a little to himself and was about to jab the boy awake when he noticed the deep frown that was formed on his face.

Woobin couldn’t help but have his gaze stay a little longer on the boy. The frown on his face was a stark contrast from the otherwise seemingly peaceful look on his face. Woobin unknowingly reached out, wanting to ease the frown on his face when he started to stir in his sleep, mumbling another name.

“…j-jong...hyun…”

Woobin stared a little longer before he decided against waking him up, instead grabbing a jacket from his bed and laying it on him.

Jonghyun…? Who is this Jonghyun person? Woobin thought for a little while longer before shrugging it off and turning back to his books.

Woobin did a relatively good job focusing on his studies, even with Jongsuk mumbling coherently next to him. It was when he finished a chapter and turned to look at Jongsuk did he realize that tears were streaming out of Jongsuk’s shut eyes even as he remained asleep.

He stared at Jongsuk, his mind wondering what exactly it was that had this boy so upset and crying in his sleep. He reached out, wanting to comfort Jongsuk a little when Jongsuk suddenly jerked awake, giving Woobin a slight shock as he retracted his hand.

Jongsuk quickly turned away from Woobin, wiping away the tears on his cheek and giving an awkward laugh, “Ha…I dozed off…”

Woobin blinked a couple of times, his gaze still fixed on Jongsuk. “Mmm…you did…”

Jongsuk felt Woobin’s gaze on him, and he guessed he probably said something in his sleep. He didn’t want to talk about it, not really. He quickly stood up and made an excuse to leave the room, saying that he needed to freshen up before he could continue studying.

When he entered the room again, Woobin was already back to studying, or at least attempting to. As much as Woobin wanted to know what exactly it was that Jongsuk had always refused to tell him, he wasn’t going to force Jongsuk, not with this matter. He wanted Jongsuk to tell him only because he wanted to. So even if he couldn’t exactly focus on studying anymore, Woobin tried to make it look like he was. He didn’t want to give Jongsuk pressure.

Jongsuk didn’t return to his seat next to Woobin, but rather took a seat on Woobin’s bed. He really couldn’t study anymore. He knew he wouldn’t be able to focus anyway. Watching Woobin Woobin, Jongsuk knew very well that Woobin wasn’t focusing anymore either.

Jongsuk knew that Woobin had a lot of questions to ask, and he knew that Woobin wasn’t going to ask. He knew Woobin was waiting for Jongsuk to tell him, to tell him about his friend, to tell him about his dream, to tell him about his family, to tell him about what it was that he had refused to tell Woobin all these while.

It wasn’t that Jongsuk didn’t trust Woobin. He did. It was just that Jongsuk wasn’t sure about himself, he wasn’t sure he could talk about it without breaking down.

But right now, he suddenly realized the fact that Woobin was next to him gave him a lot of comfort. He suddenly realized that he was very grateful that when he woke up from that dream, Woobin was next to him. He suddenly realized that perhaps, he could seek comfort in Woobin.

He stared at Woobin who had been reading the same line for the past 5 minutes, before he quietly spoke, “Woobin…”

Woobin looked up from his books, not turning. “mmm?”

“Can you…give me a hug?”

That caught Woobin by surprise. As he processed what he just heard, a small smile formed on his face and he got up from his chair and headed towards Jongsuk, giving him a tight hug and patting his back softly.

They stayed like that for a while before Jongsuk finally asked, “…are you not going to ask me?”

“Are you ready to tell me?” Woobin said carefully.

Jongsuk took in a deep breath and pulled away, looking at Woobin in his eyes before nodding uncertainly.

“I…” Jongsuk began, but he had no idea how to continue. “I don’t know how to start…”

Woobin hummed a little and crawled into his blanket, resting against the bedframe and signalled for Jongsuk to move to sit next to him. “You can just start from wherever you are comfortable with…”

Jongsuk moved and crawled under the blanket next to Woobin, leaning his head against the bed frame. “Ask me questions…it’s easier that way.”

“Mmm…what did you dream about?”

“…a friend….”

“…Jonghyun?” Seeing that Jongsuk was having difficulty continuing, Woobin asked.

Jongsuk’s eyes widened. He didn’t think that he will hear that name coming out from Woobin’s mouth. “H-how did you know..?”

“You were calling his name in your sleep.”

“A..ah…” Jongsuk took in a deep breath, his eyes staring into blank space. “Remember I told you I transferred because my family moved?”

“Mmhmm…”

“That wasn’t exactly true…Jonghyun was the reason I transferred…”

Woobin tilted his head and looked at Jongsuk, waiting for him to continue.

“Jonghyun was…a very good friend, a best friend. We got really close because we had a common goal. The both of us wanted to become actors. We encouraged each other…we worked out together…Jonghyun had a very good workout routine, you have tried it too so you should know it’s really effective…we enrolled in acting classes together, we were basically working towards the same goal together…We said that whoever got there first would help the other person. We said that we would both become actor. It was a promise, that we would become actors...together…” Jongsuk said, a weak smile forming on his lips and tears forming in his eyes, threatening to fall any moment.

Woobin quietly listened as he watched Jongsuk.

“But that was what we thought…Like how everyone was looking down on your dream, everyone did that to us. No one believed that we would be able to make it…They mocked us, jeered at us…we endured it. We weren’t going to let them get us down…but there came this day when Jonghyun just came back from an audition. He didn’t get it…and the kids were there laughing and mocking him…He finally snapped…he was so annoyed at them he eventually threw a punch at them…”

“It was just a punch…Really, they deserved that punch…and it wasn’t even anything serious. BUT it angered them so much. They mobbed us on our way back to school one day, the cornered us, and started hitting us with baseball bats and stuff…we tried to fight them off…but…” Tears started to escape the corner of Jongsuk’s eye. He didn’t turn away this time, he didn’t need to.

“But there were just too many of them…and Jonghyun…he tried to protect me. He jumped in front of me and the baseball bat eventually landed on his head…But they didn’t stop…I tried pushing Jonghyun away, but he wouldn’t budge. They just kept hitting him…his head…He bled so much…I couldn’t do anything…” Jongsuk was trembling by then, he was shaking so much and he had his brought his knees to his chest, clenching his fists so hard his hands were white and cold and void of blood.

Woobin’s heart hurt. Watching Jongsuk tremble in front of him, looking so helpless, the scene in front of him hurt him so much. Woobin edged towards Jongsuk, pulling him in for a tight hug. He couldn’t say “It’s okay…” because he knew it wasn’t. He couldn’t say anything, all he could do was to give Jongsuk a hug and let him know that Woobin was next to him, and hope that this would comfort him.

Between sobs, Jongsuk continued, in Woobin’s embrace. “B-by the time the ambulance came, they said…he was unconscious….he wasn’t moving…he was lying in my arms but he wasn’t moving…the ambulance took him…but he never came back…that was the last time…I saw him…”

Jongsuk was sobbing uncontrollably. Woobin ran his hand up and down Jongsuk’s arm. Jongsuk turned and hid his face in Woobin’s chest, his tears running freely and wetting Woobin’s shirt.

Jongsuk cried for a good half an hour before he finally calmed down, mumbling a soft apology for wetting Woobin’s shirt, to which Woobin just smiled and shook his head.

Jongsuk looked at Woobin, his eyes swollen. His voice still trembling and nasal from the crying, he asked, “Is there anything else you want to know?”

“What happened to those kids who beat you up?”

Jongsuk scoffed and shook his head. “Nothing… they were kids of rich families...money does wonders huh. They got away…because they had money…”

“…are they the same people who beat you up those few times you came to school bruised?” Woobin asked carefully.

Jongsuk looked down and nodded. “…That day, I went back to a park where Jonghyun and I used to hang out after school…they saw me and just…”

Woobin frowned. He couldn’t hold back his anger, his fist was clenched and his eyes were burning.

Sensing Woobin’s anger, Jongsuk tugged on his shirt and said weakly, “D-don’t…Woobin, don’t do anything…please…” He looked at Woobin, frantic as his pleaded with Woobin. “Please…I can’t afford to lose another friend. I can’t…Woobin…please don’t…”

Seeing the look in Jongsuk’s eyes, Woobin couldn’t help but soften his gaze. He was still raging, but he couldn’t bear to see Jongsuk like that. He couldn’t have Jongsuk go through another round of this. He whispered softly, “I won’t. I promise. You’re not going to lose me…you won’t.”

“…So that is why you won’t let me thank the friend who helped you with my diet plan, and that’s why you say that whatever you wanted, you don’t want it anymore, and that’s why…you really want me to succeed…?”

Jongsuk swallowed dryly and nodded. “It’s selfish…I know I am…b-but----“

“Shh…It’s not selfish…but Jongsuk-ah, are you sure Jonghyun would want you to give up on your dream?”

Jongsuk shook his head. “I don’t know…but I can’t…I can’t do it without him…he lost the chance to become an actor because of me…I can’t become one without him…”

Woobin nodded. He wasn’t sure he understood fully, but he wasn’t going to force Jongsuk to do something against his wishes.

That night, Jongsuk fell asleep in Woobin’s embrace, his face buried in Woobin’s chest, his heart seeking comfort from Woobin’s warmth.