Chapter seven

When I arrived home after work, at least, I didn´t want to find Siwon having . Now that I knew how good his kisses were and the good it felt his hands over me, I wasn´t sure if I could manage to see him doing the same things to someone else. That was ridiculous. But it was true.

      I got in the house. I heard y music playing loud. When I walked to kitchen in order to get to my room, I heard a woman´s moan. I felt a knot in my stomach. I tried to ignore it but my feet didn´t move.

“Yes, Siwon, babe. Just there. Harder, it harder” – she cried. I felt jealous instantaneously and that only made me angry. I shouldn´t care about it. He had kissed me once and was so pissed off that he ran away.

I moved to the sound. I was curious.

“Umm, yes. Please, touch me” – she begged. I felt my body shake but I kept on walking to the living-room. And there they were on the sofa. She was wearing nothing in her upper body and Siwon was one of her s. I couldn´t see that. I needed to get out from here. Now.

I ran to my pickup truck with my eyes all teary. He knew that I would be at home at that moment. He wanted me to see them. He reminded me that was something I would never experience with him. Just now, I´d never want to do it.

I drove through the city angry with myself for wasting the gas. I needed to save money. I needed help. I thought to call up Min but then I quit the idea. Or maybe Eunhyuk? No. I didn´t know what to talk with him. I decided to park my pickup truck in a pastry shop and drink some juice and read some magazines for a while. Maybe after a couple of hours, Siwon had finished his marathon of with the woman.

After drinking my delicious strawberry juice and walking by the beach, I returned to Siwon´s house after midnight. There were no cars in the garage so he was alone this time. I saw the lights on.

When I was about to open the door of the house, Siwon opened it and stayed there in the entry. He was there to tell me to leave his house. I expected it anyway. I didn´t even surprise. Instead of that, I looked around to find my suitcase.

“Where have you been?”- he asked with a deep voice.

“Why do you care?” – I asked, lifting my head to see his eyes.

He gave a step close to me.

“Because I was worried”

Was he worried? About me? I let out a sigh.

“It´s hard to believe. You were very busy with your company for noticing something” – I couldn´t avoid that the bitterness slid over my tongue.

“You arrived earlier than I expected. It was not my intention that you watched that”

As if I believed him. I nodded and I moved my feet.

“I came home at the same time I arrive every night. I think you wanted me to see you, why? I´m not sure. I don´t have feelings for you, Siwon. I only need a place to stay for a couple of days more. I´ll move from your house and your life soon”

He muttered a curse and he looked at the sky for then looking at me again.

“There are things about me that you don´t know. I´m not one of those guys that you can tame. I have a lot of baggage. Too much for someone like you. I expected someone different considering I knew your father. You are nothing like him. You are everything a guy like me must avoid. Because I´m not suitable for you”

I let out a harsh laugh. That was the worst excuse I had heard about his behavior.

“Really? Is that the best you have? I never asked you anything else than a room. I don´t expect you to love me. I never did it. I´m aware that you and I are in different leagues. I don´t belong to your high class. I don´t have blue blood. I wear poor clothes not from designers. But you DID, Siwon”

Siwon held my hand and pulled me inside the house. Without a word, he pressed me against the wall and he caged me with his two hands tight against the wall beside my head.

“I don´t wear clothes from designers. Get that in your head! I can´t touch you. I want to do it so badly that it hurts not doing it, but I won´t. I won´t ruin it with you. You are…are perfect and pure. And at the end, you would never forgive me”

My heart pounded painfully against my chest. The sadness in his eyes was not something that I had been able to see from outside. I could see emotion in his beautiful eyes. His forehead was frowning as if something was hurting him.

“And what if I want you to touch me? Maybe I´m not that pure. Maybe I´m corrupted” – my body was already corrupted, but looking at Siwon´s eyes, it made me want to relieve his pain. I didn´t want him to be away from me. I wanted to make him smile. That beautiful face shouldn´t look so worried.

He caressed my face with his fingers slowly.

“I have been with many girls and boys, Kyuhyun. Believe me, I have never met anybody so ing perfect like you. The innocence in your eyes is screaming at me. I want to take off every centimeter of your clothes, and bury deep inside you, but I can´t. You saw me tonight. I´m a sick bastard. I can´t touch you”

I had seen him tonight. I had seen him the other night too. He ed many girls and boys, and he didn´t want to touch ME. He thought I was too perfect. I was in a pedestal and he wanted me to stay there. Maybe I should. But my heart is betraying me. He already started to take over it. If I let him have my body, he could hurt me in a way nobody had done it before. My guard would be low.

“Ok – I said. I didn´t want to argue with him. That wasn´t the right thing – can we, at least, be friends? I don´t want you to hate me. I want us to be friends” – I sounded pathetic. I felt so alone that I was begging for a friend.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

“I will be your friend. I will be all I can to be your friend, but I need to be careful. I can´t be too close to you. You make me want things that I can´t have. That small and sweet body of yours, feels amazing under me – he whispered in my ear – and the way you taste is very addicted. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. I know you would be more delicious in…other… parts”

I leaned over him and I closed my eyes while his breath got heavy in my ear.

“We can´t. ! We can´t. Friends, sweet Kyuhyun. Only friends” – he muttered, and then he moved away from me and walked to the stairs. I supported my body against the wall and I saw him disappearing. I was not ready to move yet. My body was hot for his words and his proximity.

“I don´t want you under that stairs. I hate it. But I can´t bring you upstairs. I would never be able to be away from you. I need you in a safe place” – he said without looking at me. When I heard his door close, I collapsed on the floor.

“Oh, Siwon. How can we do that? I need a distraction” – I whispered inside my empty room. I needed to find someone else to focus. Someone that wasn´t Siwon. Someone available. It was the only way to avoid falling too far. Siwon was dangerous for my heart. If we were going to be just friends, then I needed someone else to focus my attention. And fast.

oOo

I was working in the dining-room now. Sully continued outside with the cart. As the next day would be my free day, Sully came to see me and asked me if the invitation was available again. Of course, it was. I needed a distraction. I needed a man, any man, to put away my thoughts about Siwon.

I followed Jim everywhere during the whole day. He was on charge of training me. He was tall, attractive, charming and very… gay. Of course, nobody knew that there. For my surprise, he was gay too. But he flirted shamefully with all the women of the club. They felt flattered.

“You will be the sensation here, Kyuhyun. With that beautiful face, all men will love you…even me might do it” – Jim said.

Suddenly Eddie appeared and saw me close to Jim and frowned.

“Are you bothering Kyuhyun?” – Eddie said in a deadly glare.

Jim just ignored him and left the place.

“Did you enjoy your day?” – Eddie asked politely.

I have enjoyed it a lot. It was better to work here and not in the hot weather.

“Very much. Thanks for bringing me here”

“You are welcome. What do you say about celebrating with Japanese food?”

He was inviting me out again. I should go. I needed distrac