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From high school my dream is to become a professional photographer. Started from film camera to digital camera and now a professional camera. You name it I have them all.

Somehow my hobby has become my source of living. Taking a picture of a persona is my favourite. Whether it’s smile or laugh or maybe cry. I capture them all. Truth be told, I’m in love with emotion. You ask why ? Well it’s simply because somehow through a piece of photograph, I can actually going deeper into the heart of persona.

That’s why I love photography, because I like to dive deeper and deeper into your heart.

***

As I knock on the door. I couldn’t help my heart from racing rapidly. Behind this door is her. Her that I couldn’t stop thinking of for I don’t know how long it has been.

***

"Because I’m shadow.. shadow.." from here I can hear my phone is ringing.

"Let’s rest for a while" I request to others. Well the respond wasn’t really encouraging though. To be honest this is my first time ever to hold a photo shoot session just to answer one call.

I don’t know why but my heart is telling me to get this call or else I will regret it like I don’t know maybe forever?

Taking my cell phone on the desk where I put all of my stuff. Luckily the phone is still ringing.

Unregistered number. Who could it be? Slide my finger on my smartphone. I answered it anyway.

"Yoboseyo"

I wait for a merely second before finally heard of someone voice.

"Kim myungsoo~shi?"

For a moment my heart stop beating. This voice.. Could it be..

"Yoboseyo.. Are you kim myungsoo"

"n..nae" my word kind of stuck. I starter a bit.

"It’s me Park Gyuri. I don’t know if you still remember me. Well we have been working together in grocery store photo-shoot. If you still remember,  I am the model for..."

"I remember you" I have never forget you since then to be honest..

"Oh is that so.. What a relief.." silenced for a mere second. I wait for her to talk. But nothings come out. As I want to break the silenced..

"Are.. Are you busy right now or are you in the middle of photo shoot? Ah if you are in then maybe I should hang up now" she sounds hesitate.

"No no im ok" to be honest I’m struggling to not make any eye contact with any staff there.

"Myungsoo~ah.. Are you busy next Tuesday?"

I did not answer. Still stun hearing her calling me like that.

"Could you come over to my place? I want you to take a photograph of me. Can you.."

I didn’t know how to respond to this. This is too fast for me to adapt.

"Can you myungsoo~ah"

She repeat back her question when she did not get back the response from me.

"nae" I actually said this out of conscious.

"I will text you later where is my place. See you"

With that she ended the call.

Like a fool I’m staring at my phone blankly. "What was that?" is the only thing that my brain can process right now.

"Yah Kim Myungsoo. Can we continue now?"

"ahh.. Nae" startle.

***

The door open. This is it. Hide my nervousness.

Tried to be polite, "annyeo..."

Without able to finishing my proper greetings, my word are cut with her lips. Lips? Yes lips.

She. Park Gyuri. Is kissing me on lips. Her thin lips is on mine. Kissing me dearly as if I am her special someone, in front of her home.

Her eyes closed. Savouring the moment. Just when I get into the mood. She broke the kiss.

"Let’s go inside" she walk away like nothing have happen leaving the confuse me outside.

Taking a deep breath.

"Maybe that’s the way she greet people" I don’t want to think a lot. I prevent myself from having all those delusional minds as it will only give me pain.

I step into her house. Looking at surrounding. What a nice cosy apartment she have but it rather empty actually.

"Would you like anything to drink?" Out of nowhere she pop out

"Never mind" my eyes can’t stop from staring at her. Following every step she takes.

"All right then. Let’s get to the real business shall we Mr Photographer? ". She look at me sharply. But still her beauty is overflowing.

"What can I do for you miss park?" Tried to stay calm.

"Call me Gyuri will do."

I nod. "Gyuri". She smiles and my heart skip a beat.

"I want you to take a photograph of me"

Once again I nod. That’s all huh. I don’t know what I’m hoping for.

As I’m taking out my precious camera from bag. I heard she say another words. "Take a beautiful photo of me".

With that she start posing for the lens. My lens following every step she take. Capture every pose she make. That smile. I will never forget. The same exact smile that make me fall in love with her deeply.

Suddenly her moves stop. She is standing right in front of me. Put my camera away from my face I’m look at her with questionable face.

My eyes button up. "What is she doing?"

Park Gyuri is sliding down her lovely purple dress from her petite body revealing gorgeous milky skin.

Slowly she take her step towards me. I couldn’t move my body. My body is frozenly standing there. We were literally inch away from each other. Her hands are caressing my clothed chest.

"Tuck"

She undone the first button of my shirt. My mind is so blank right now and I don’t know what to do. How to react to this. I am so nervous and the only thing I can do reacting to this by continuing taking a picture of her. While she is still undone all of my shirt button. I couldn’t stop my hand from clicking the shutter. And hell yeah my hand is trembling.

She take one step backward. Enjoying looking at my obviously-nervous-face. Make sure my camera are focussing on her beautiful face. She smile.

"I’m dying" she whisper.

I tried to read her lips through my lens. Eventually my hand stop automatically. Shocked.

Put away my camera. "You are kidding right?" I’m laughing awkwardly. Deeply hoping that she is trying to crack a joke here.

She did not laugh. Instead she tell me the dying disease she had. "The doctor tell me that I only have months before I leave this world." She explained.

Speechless. She never fail to make me speechless every time.

She grab a camera from me and snapping a picture of my shocked face. She chuckle.

Grabbing back my camera from her hands. She smile.

"So please take a beautiful photo of me."

Smiling in every photo her posing to. Like a professional she pose for the camera.

My heart ache. My mind also not in the good condition anymore. I’m totally have mix feeling for this. I keep clicking on the button. Taking no rest. I am definitely going to fulfil her wish. Take a beautiful photo of her.

I keep on clicking until suddenly the lenses become blur. Later I figure it out that it was not the lenses but it was my eyes. I did not realise when it started but my eyes are full of my tears. And the tears flow from my eyes like waterfall. Kneel down on the floor, like a baby I cried. "How someone pretty like her can can die". I said though I know what I said is not even make senses.

I know that eventually everyone will die someday. But why her time are so sudden. We are just finally met again. Why I met her just to know that she will leave me. Forever.

She held my body. Trying to console me. This is not something that should be happening. I’m the one who are supposed to hold her. Consoling her cry since she is the one who are dying here. But now is the other way around.

Her scene are lingering over me. She’s smell so sweet. Almost like I’m hugging a bucket of strawberry that have been mix with a vanilla. I breathe her smell. Somehow this sooth me.

New feeling have built up inside of me. I don’t know what this feeling is. I think this is my first time of having a feeling like this. I couldn’t even know how to explain this.

She caresses my hair. Her thin finger play through my hair. This somehow calm me down. She ’shhh’ me.

I look at her. Our face are like inch away from each other. I can feel her breath on me heavily. Our eyes meet each other. I look at her lips. She look at mine. Once again our eyes meet and from that I know, the glance she give me this time will change my life forever.

She press her lips against mine. Not like the first time, the feeling is so different this time. It’s like I can almost reach her heart. Exploring her deeper.

Her skin taste like milk. Every place I kiss makes me fall even harder. There is isn’t an inch I wasted. Every little skin on her body is my precious.

She whisper. "Remember me for being beautiful".

***

Brightness from sunshine ray woke me up. I look at surroundings. I’m pause for a second. Where is this place?

Suddenly all the image flash back through my mind.

The image of..

Park Gyuri calling me in the middle of my photo shoot.

Park Gyuri kissing me in front of her door.

Park Gyuri tell me to take a beautiful picture of her.

Park Gyuri posing around her house.

Park Gyuri sliding her blouses of her petite body.

Park Gyuri tell me about her dying disease.

Park Gyuri hold me.

Park Gyuri repeatedly tell me to always remember her for being beautiful.

Blinked for a few times.

Where is she now?

I’m walking outside the room. This house seems emptier than yesterday.

"What’s going on here?"

***

Till this day I have never heard about her anymore. I don’t know whether her story about her dying disease is true or not.

Turn out the house actually was a service apartment. She rented the apartment for a few days.

I don’t know why it to have to be me. Is it only me ?

But something for sure.

I do remember her for being beautiful. Always...

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