Hwiyoung had never been to a party before. Well, not counting the birthday ones in the safety of his home with childhood friends who he had grown up with. He had never been to something like this, and it was honestly making him contemplate his fight or flight instinct.

It wasn’t a small uni apartment to begin with, but all the fairy lights Christmas tinsels and empty alcohol bottles in lines over the top of cupboards looking down on everyone with pride of what their owners had once done made it impossible to breathe, even without the blobs of people—strangers—piling up around him. 

“Inseong?” Hwiyoung tried and it disappeared like a pebble thrown into the water. The desert fox had vanished within moments of arriving, leaving his promises of ‘It’ll be fun. He’s going to come. You won’t wanna miss this.’ floating in the air just like the glasses of alcohol being offered to him from nowhere, every time they saw him empty-handed.

It was hard to resist, with his politeness. He didn't drink yet though, not because he had anything against it, but if he stayed like a lost child any longer he thinks he might just hog up a bathroom for the night, regardless of whether Inseong will laugh at him for it next morning.

Maybe someone higher up heard his prayers because the smiling fox appeared as abruptly as he had left, a sparkle in his eyes and a boy with curly black hair in his arm. 

“There you are! This is Dawon, he goes to my art club. Dawon, Hwiyoung. He’s part of the dance crew.” Inseong introduced them quickly, eyeing the drink in Hwiyoung’s hand with a knowing look. “Come on, let’s go find the others and sit down.”

Before they left, Dawon held up his drink and gestured towards him. Hwiyoung smiled in return, caving in under the two pairs of eyes waiting for him, and downed the shot in one go. 

It wasn’t as bad as he had expected. The cream muffled any fire that might’ve burned his throat, and he took another one, making a mental note in his mind to ask Inseong 1. what that was and 2. how he could make it himself at home. 

They squeezed past herds of people, aiming for the room that Inseong had left the other members of the dance crew in. Once the doors closed and the heavy drumbeat was all that throbbed through the door, Hwiyoung felt flames igniting both of his cheeks as he spotted the boy leaning back in front of the couch, like a small ball of sunshine attracting every fiber of his soul.

Taeyang smiled at the three boys who entered. He ran a hand through his platinum silver hair, hoping that his eyeliner hadn’t smudged, and ever so discreetly ed the top button of his shirt.

Well, it wasn’t his fault that the blonde boy at the back was the cutest one in their crew school.

Hwiyoung stumbled a bit as he sat down got pushed down by Inseong next to Taeyang. Smiling awkwardly, he finished the second shot, not knowing what to do with his hands or his heart.

There were around seven of them inside the room. Someone suggested they play a game, and after a long silence of what to do they decided to  go with the basics but shake it up a little, which meant the old games of truth or dare, spin the bottle, and 7 minutes in heaven all combined into one.

When it was Taeyang’s turn to spin, Hwiyoung’s heart jumped a little. On the first time the bottle pointed to no one, so he had to start again. Hwiyoung didn’t know if it was on accident that their sides brushed hard against each other when Taeyang leaned forward to reach for the bottle. 

He spun again, with Hwiyoung crossing both his fingers and toes. The bottle slowly came to a stop right in between them. Hwiyoung sighed. He was probably going to have to go again.

But Taeyang leaned to the side with a laugh. “It’s you, Hwiyoung. Sorry but it’s you!”

Their eyes met, and Hwiyoung felt something pound against his chest.

“Which will it be, then?” Dawon broke the silence. He had a glint in his eyes that Hwiyoung didn’t understand until hearing his next words.

“Wait, we’ve already done truth or dare three times in a row. That means you two only get to choose the punishment of spin the bottle, or 7 minutes.” Inseong’s hand squeezed his shoulder to calm the excited boy down a little.

Hwiyoung’s face was aflame. If he chose… if Taeyang chose the first option….

He would clean Inseong’s room for a month in gratitude if it really happened. 

“What do you think?” The physical embodiment of the sun interrupted his thoughts. Taeyang cocked his head to the side and looked into his eyes. 

“I… I……” Hwiyoung forgot how to speak.

“Just do spin—“

“There’s a closet right there, what about you guys just do that?” Inseong cut off Dawon’s enthusiasm. 

Hwiyoung sent him a look of thanks. Even though getting a kiss (a kiss!) from Taeyang would allow him to die in peace, he wasn’t sure if he wanted that just yet. He hadn't had enough of the sunshine. 

Quickly they were squeezed into the cramped closet in between coats and jackets. Hwiyoung’s heart thumped so loudly he wasn’t sure if Taeyang could hear it. 

“We’re timing!” Inseong announced from the outside. 

With that, the doors were slid shut. 

*

It was unbelievably quiet inside the small closet. He could hear Taeyang’s breathing as the air rose in temperature, making Hwiyoung’s palms slippery.

“So…..” they both started at the same time, making them breathe a laugh through their nose.

“There’s no need to be so nervous,” Taeyang spoke first. “Nothing’s going to happen…” unless you want it to. The rest of the sentence was spoken inside his head.

“What?” Hwiyoung asked with wide eyes. He couldn’t look into Taeyang’s eyes for long, instead, he shifted his vision to the other’s dark, triangular earrings, commenting internally how amazing he looked tonight. 

Hwiyoung didn’t notice he was gulping, but Taeyang did.

“We’ve practiced a lot together but we’ve never actually had a chat, right?” He asked. 

“Yeah…” Hwiyoung smiled awkwardly. How could he say that it was because he was scared of stammering like a high school boy towards his first crush that he avoided him at all costs? 

“Is it something I did?” Taeyang looked hurt.

“No! Of course not!” Hwiyoung’s head snapped up. “It’s not… you…” He trailed off again. There he goes. The exact things he was scared of.

“I’m glad then,” Taeyang blinded him with a smile that broke through the clouds. He suddenly shifted forward as if to get into a more comfortable position, but because the closet was so small, he had to place his mouth right next to the other’s ear, making Hwiyoung feel the puffs of breath on his neck.

He shivered.

“Would your boyfriend get upset?” Hwiyoung tried. He was crossing everything he had, again, as he waited for a reply.

Please say you don’t have one please say you don't—

“Probably,” Taeyang chuckled, and Hwiyoung’s heart dropped to the ground.

“But he’s angry with me right now, I don’t think he likes me as much anymore.”

After a pause, Hwiyoung composed himself. It was alright. Of course someone as amazing as him would be taken already. Just enjoy what you have, just looking at him is enough to keep you happy for now, right?

“I just thought of a game,” Hwiyoung suggested. 

Taeyang nodded while smiling, looking at him in a way as if he’d agree to anything at all the younger boy proposed.

“Since we’re in here already… if we pretend something happened would he stop being angry?” He gripped tightly onto whatever shirt he was sitting on. 

It was already dim inside the closet; even though their eyes had adjusted to the darkness already, Hwiyoung couldn’t see Taeyang’s eyes darkening. 

“I don’t mean we do anything, just something like… this.” Hwiyoung ruffled his own hair, making it suggestively messy.

Taeyang paused. 

“That’s not how it’s done.” He said so softly Hwiyoung almost didn’t get it.

“What do you mean—” his words were cut off by a soft pair of lips and a hand that had twisted its way into his blonde hair.

A chord broke in half in Hwiyoung's mind. Half of him was screaming ‘but he has a boyfriend!!!’ and the other half (also screaming) ‘but I like him!!!!” Either way, there was so much noise in his head that he temporarily forgot to respond. 

When he did, it was on impulse from the fact that Taeyang had managed to unlock his clenched teeth and was invading every corner of his mouth. Hwiyoung groaned at the back of his throat, still shocked at what was happening. What was happening to him.

Taeyang leaned back to give him some air. In between breaths, he panted “take off your shirt,” and Hwiyoung was just about to follow his orders when a loud bang on the door startled the both of them.

“Time’s up! Did you guys have fun? Ugh, why doesn’t this door open?” Dawon’s frustrated voice came from outside the sliding doors.

“That’s because it slides, you .” Inseong’s voice was getting closer. 

In the last seconds they had left, Taeyang grinned while patting Hwiyoung’s hair back into place as much as he could. “I was just kidding,” he confessed.

“What?” The poor boy was still in heaven.

“I don't have a boyfriend.” Taeyang whispered. “Unless, you agree to be mine.”

The door was pulled open as light poured into their connected eyes.