Jackson adapts with surprising speed.

He still always leaves the testing room looking a little green, but Jaebum blames Jinyoung’s scientific method. In every other way, Jackson interacts with GOT6 openly, and it makes Jaebum’s chest go warm to see him make everyone laugh. BamBam insists that they’ve become GOT7.

More importantly, after living with Jaebum for only a few Earthling days, Jackson clings to him the most. Jaebum had intended to sleep on his straight-backed chair and leave the bed to Jackson--he’d slept like that in military training, anyway--but every night, Jackson quietly pulls him to the edge of the bed and slowly forces him onto his back, tucking him in. They sleep about two feet away from each other.

“Jaebum!” Jackson calls one day, while Jaebum is in the middle of polishing his saber-gun. “I have a great idea.”

“Shut up,” Jaebum replies cheerfully. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“This one is good, man!” Jackson protests, eyes wide and voice cracking. Jaebum sighs, deeply disinterested. Jackson continues: “So you know how BamBam wants to stop on that planet of ladies-”

“No.”

Jackson pouts. “Hear me out.”

“That planet of ladies is a protectorate of JYP,” Jaebum recites. “Under the conditions of our contract, and in exchange for a steady supply of essential materials, no man is to step foot on their planet. This is enforced by JYP and its constituents, which includes its fleet of starships.”

Jackson smirks. “But we are ladies.”

“Be quiet, Jackson,” Jaebum says, reaching for the delicate brush he needs to clean his saber-gun’s chambers.

“I’m serious!” Jackson yells, and Jaebum wonders how he can be so excited on a daily basis. “Jinyoung, and don’t ask him why, has a collection of Earthling women’s clothing and makeup.”

“What?” Jaebum’s brush clatters into his gun, and he curses. “I told you to be quiet, Jackson!”

“So we can pretend to be ladies from JYP, and then we can go to heaven!” Jackson concludes his speech with a wiggle of his fists, which Jaebum refuses to find adorable. “Haven’t you ever dreamed of being surrounded by females?”

Jaebum stares at Jackson, taking in his excited flush, broad shoulders, and wide smile. He blushes.

“I knew it!” Jackson jumps up and down, practically squealing. He runs out of the room. “Mark! JB gave me permission!”

“Ya!” Jaebum shouts. He runs behind his bed for his gun-case, gently putting aside his saber-gun. Then he sprints after Jackson. “I gave no such thing!” Jackson has already disappeared down the hallway. Jaebum heads for the control room.

He sees Jackson in the doorway, babbling excitedly to Mark. Mark meets Jaebum’s eyes with a bored expression. Before Jaebum can convey the signal that, no, they should not set foot on the planet of women, Mark types in an incomprehensible code and the ship jerks violently.

Jaebum stomps over to Jackson, swinging him around by his shirtfront. “Do you realize what you’ve done,” Jaebum snarls. “We might be stripped of our ranks if we’re discovered, you-”

Jackson blinks at him innocently, lips pursed. Jaebum deflates.

“Cheer up, JB,” Jackson says. “You really need to get laid.”

The entire crew spends the day in Jinyoung’s room, lined up for their turn at womanhood. Jackson stands before Jaebum, seeming far too excited for what should be an arduous and disturbing task. He twiddles his thumbs and shifts on his feet, occasionally pinching BamBam’s cheeks for no apparent reason. Jaebum wants to smack him.

Mark comes out of the closet in Jinyoung’s room, corset and al white dress in place and face unrecognizable. His hair is still short and red.

“Pretty!” Jinyoung claps, exiting at the same time. “I am so good at this.”

“Care to explain why?” Jaebum grouches. Everyone ignores him.

BamBam, the innocent young man of the crew, becomes a daytime streetwalker in ripped denim and a high ponytailed wig. His eyes are winged and his lips are a heavy red, and Yugyeom gasps. “This is too much,” Jaebum decides. “He should be in a schoolgirl’s uniform at most. A diaper and bonnet would be more appropriate.”

The crew persists in ignoring him.

When it’s Jackson’s turn in the closet, Jaebum can’t seem to keep still. Despite knowing better, his curiosity burns and itches at his insides. Yugyeom and Youngjae suddenly surround him, whispering in JYP tongue.

“Hyung,” Yugyeom says seriously. “When we set foot in the planet of women, you should take this opportunity to forget about Jackson. Take advantage of your late blooming and enjoy the scenery.”

“He doesn’t like you Jaebum.” Youngjae looks sympathetic. “I say this as your former roommate and concerned dongsaeng. Jackson is totally into females. Not you.”

“How do you know?” Jaebum asks. He covers his mouth belatedly, fingers drumming his face in his irritation.

Yugyeom and Youngjae watch him somberly. Youngjae is clad in a yellow sundress and a conservative black wig, and Yugyeom is wearing padded jeans and long, purple pigtails. The combination of their heavily-made up faces and concerned expressions reminds Jaebum of his own mother. It makes him want to escape through an air vent.

“Look,” Jaebum clears his throat. “I haven’t done anything. I just… am discovering myself.” The excuse falls flat in his own estimation, but Yugyeom and Youngjae relax a little. “He just happens to be my first… um… interest. In my late blooming.” This is entirely untrue. Jaebum has been marginally interested in others before, but never as interested as he is in Jackson. “I will redirect any urges I have to my work, as I always have.”

Youngjae and Yugyeom immediately frown, lipstick exaggerating the downward tilt of their mouths.

“Look leader,” Yugyeom plants a hand on Jaebum’s shoulder, and Jaebum twitches at his insolence. “We’re not telling you to become a eunuch again. We’re glad Jackson has awakened you.”

“Yeah, to be honest, you’ve become more human now.” Youngjae nods knowingly. Jaebum would hit him, but Youngjae’s feminine appearance stays his hand.

“What we’re trying to say is that you should discover yourself in this prime setting we’ve arranged for you, and possibly use that to start to look elsewhere. Preferably on JYP.”

“You nearly ruined us when you rejected the Military Commander’s daughter. It would be great if you would take a second look, if you know what I mean.” Youngjae winks.

Jaebum feels his fists begin to shake. Makeup or no, he suddenly needs to give Youngjae a neat uppercut.

“Tada!” Jackson slams his way out of Jinyoung’s closet. He looks ridiculous: he’s wearing a mid-length, straight black wig and a snapback, along with a ruffled tutu and a leather jacket. But Jaebum is still enraptured by Jackson’s face--his eyes look wider than they already were and his lips are a subtle red. Youngjae makes retching noises when he catches sight of the look on Jaebum’s face.

“Stop,” Yugyeom moans into his hands, face hidden. Jinyoung appears and frowns. “So I admit that the fashion was mostly Jackson’s idea, but everything else is really not that bad. Don’t insult my work.”

BamBam laughs. “My wife, Jackson!”

“Babies don’t have wives!” Jackson yells.

Before Jaebum has time to recover his senses, Jinyoung is leading him by the arm into his closet (of horrors). “I feel like leader would make a very elegant lady,” Jinyoung says, plopping Jaebum in front of a large dressing room mirror which Jaebum knows he did not give permission to budget for. “What do you think about a sort of upper-tax-bracket fashion maven who’s cheating on her husband kind of concept?

“What?”

“Or maybe Mary Kate Olsen goes to the Met Gala to look rich,” Jinyoung muses. “Or Iman without David Bowie. Madonna. Vogue.”

“What.”

Jinyoung whips out a set of Earthling mags, flipping through them. “Ah. I see what would work.”

“Can you keep it understated,” Jaebum requests, feeling suddenly very cowed. “Just nothing too loud, please.”

Jinyoung ignores him and retrieves a fistful of makeup products. Jaebum thinks he’s never seen Jinyoung looks more evil, which is an accomplishment.

“Let’s get started.”

Only ten minutes later, and after a whirlwind of makeup application and padding and Jinyoung’s preternatural JYP speed, Jaebum stumbles out of the closet in a blood red suit and an unlikely pair of combat boots, wig a blown out mess of brown waves.

“Oh my god!” Youngjae calls. Jackson whistles approvingly.

“Quiet,” Jaebum commands, feeling oddly bold in his costume. “Once Jinyoung finishes himself, we’ll take only three hours on this planet.”

A wave of collective groans meets his announcement. Jaebum smirks--schadenfreude.

Jinyoung leaves the closet after taking more time than he had on any other person. His appearance sends everyone but Mark into a state of shock.

“Are you some kind of… um?” Jackson tentatively swallows.

“You look like a man,” Yugyeom states.

Jinyoung unabashedly marches across the room in five-inch platforms and an unflattering pink catsuit, long blonde wig swishing about.

“I look fierce,” Jinyoung sniffs, unfazed. Mark gives a silent thumbs up.

Jaebum studiously cleanses his saber-gun, praying to all the JYP deities to grant him strength. Jackson pokes his nose over his shoulder with great interest, smelling faintly of some fruity perfume. “Jaebum, what’s the plan for today?”

“Don’t ask!” Youngjae shouts, but too late. Jaebum clears his throat.

“First of all, we’re short on supplies. Youngjae, Yugyeom, and BamBam will go to a market and buy approximately two weeks’ supply of food stock. Equal parts perishable and nonperishable.” BamBam sighs. “Jinyoung and Mark are free to do as they please.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jackson offers, next to his ear. Youngjae and Yugyeom make crosses with their arms, desperately signaling for Jaebum to refuse.

“I’d like that,” Jaebum replies, grinning with all his teeth.

--

“I want to go to the beach,” Jackson says with a very serious face. “I want to see ies.”

“No.”

“Hyung!” Jackson shakes Jaebum’s right arm back and forth. “Why are we here anyway then?”

“It was your fault in the first place. This is a mistake.” Jaebum’s expression sours. “I don’t want to participate in flagrantly violating the basis of JYP’s protectorate.”

Jackson stares at him in awe. “You don’t even want to see ies.”

“What?”

Jackson leans in closer, his fake eyelashes nearly poking Jaebum in the cheek. “You’ve never even seen a pair of ies.”

Jaebum has a flashback to his childhood: his mother tossing him in the bathtub, and then climbing in and scrubbing his scalp with shampoo. It had creeped into his eyes no matter how hard he shut them, and his mothers sharp, manicured nails were relentless on his scalp. The metronomic swaying of her “ies” had been the least of his concerns. Jaebum shivers.

Jackson suddenly hits him on the back several times. “It’s okay,” he coos soothingly. Jaebum slaps Jackson’s head and his cap flies off.

“What was that for?” Jackson screeches.

“Don’t hit me.” Jaebum replies calmly. “I am the leader, and you are a specimen. You have no right to hit me.” His hand twitches guiltily at his side, but he ignores it. Jackson eyes widen--he looks so obviously hurt it’s nearly funny.

Jackson’s face rearranges itself into an uncomfortable grin. “Um, okay,” he croaks, voice a bit quieter. Jaebum’s neck grows hot with shame. “Let’s go find some food, I’m starving,” Jackson pulls Jaebum’s hand, looking the other way. Jaebum bends over to pick up the fallen hat, and then he gently places it on Jackson’s head. Jackson still doesn’t look at him.

“I’m sorr-”

“Thanks!” Jackson yells. He starts power-walking down the street. Jaebum does not understand him.

“Do you know where you’re going?” Jaebum asks. Jackson is gripping his hand very, very tightly, and he has no choice but to follow.

“Excuse me, miss!” Jackson taps the shoulder of a passerby. She jumps in surprise. “Do you speak JYP?” She nods dumbly. “We are looking for good food. Can you tell us where we can find it?”

The girl looks Jackson up and down--Jaebum can imagine the effect Jackson’s unfashionable tutu and clashing leather jacket might have--and squints at him. “End of the street, there’s a JYP-style cafe. All the JYP tourists go there.” She turns and hurries away.

“Awesome!” Jackson exclaims. “I think she was checking me out.”

Jaebum sighs.

--

Sometimes--even though Jaebum knows that he is unusually handsome and also a starship celebrity-commander--he wonders if he has no luck.

"Jaebum," Jinyoung Park Senior says, smiling at him from a seat next to the cafe door. Jackson and Jaebum, by merit of entering, stand less than a foot away from him. “How… surprising to see you.”

The president of JYP sits, legs crossed, in a pinstriped spacesuit. He is by law the only male allowed on the Planet of Women. Jaebum is screwed.

“My name is Jackson,” Jackson offers with no provocation. “What’s yours?” He offers his hand to shake. Jinyoung Park looks at him with amusement.

“Is this the Earthling specimen?” He asks. “As far as I know, it’s outside the bounds of protocol for specimens to venture outside the dark room.”

Jaebum stiffens. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“Also, as far as I know, you’re not supposed to set foot on this land,” Jinyoung Park continues. “Care to explain?” He takes a sip of his tea, expectant.

“I…” Jaebum pauses. His palms start to sweat. He wishes he had listened to Jackson and gone to the beach to see ies, no matter what trauma it might have awakened. Jinyoung Park’s left eyebrow rises in bemusement.

“No, I understand,” he says. “I work you too hard. You want a vacation, and what better place than a planet full of only women?”

“You’re right,” Jaebum says quickly.

“I’m right?” Jinyoung Park suddenly looks enraged.

“No!” Jaebum adds. “You’re wrong. I mean…” He feels his mouth open. He grips Jackson’s hand, still in his, a little harder. “The specimen was having self-destructive tendencies, and it needed this to calm it. It’s an Earthling trait. Earthlings need female presences to enrich their hormonal balance, or else they will die.”

Jackson looks impressed.

Jinyoung Park’s expression returns to neutrality. “How is Junior’s experimentation going, by the way?” He appears slightly bored, now that Jaebum’s excuse seems valid. “The military body is clamoring for a new planet. I told you we’d like to conquer Earth by the end of this year.”

“What?” Jackson shouts. “What?”

“Can you sedate it while we converse?” Jinyoung Park asks. “It’s very loud.”

“Jackson,” Jaebum says, slightly too pleading. “Calm down.”

“Shut up!” Jackson shouts again. “What are you saying, you’ll conquer Earth?” His eyes grow a little watery, and he starts to sweat--a sign of Earthling stress and anger, Jaebum notes. “What the are you… who do you think you are? You can’t! My mom-”

“It’s inevitable,” Jinyoung Park sighs. “Our economy is fueled by conquest. The Planet of Women, which you have illegally trespassed, was conquered by 2PM just nine moon cycles ago.”

Jackson breathes out. “What are you planning on doing? Once you… if you conquer Earth.”

“Resources,” Jinyoung Park replies. “Earth is resource rich. Tribute. Colonization. Cultural enlightenment.”

“Intermarriage,” Jaebum adds unnecessarily. His face pinks and he glances at Jackson’s hand in his. Jackson continues to gaze, wild-eyed, at the JYP president.

“Yes, gene pool diversification,” Jinyoung Park says. “Very good. The usual textbook answers.”

Jackson’s whole face has become red, and Jaebum worries he’s going to start a fight he will lose.

“I’m going to him--it--back to the ship,” Jaebum hurriedly says. “The specimen is weak and needs to be indoors most of the time.”

“I don’t need !” Jackson retorts, slapping Jaebum’s hand away. He steps in closer to the president of Jaebum’s home planet. Jaebum wants to bite his nails.

“Listen, old guy,” Jackson says, finger in Jinyoung Park’s face. “Your planet is going to lose. Badly. You don’t mess with Earth, .” He leans away slowly, cocky sneer on his face. “Your ty planet is going down if you try.” With that, Jackson suddenly slams open the cafe door and stomps off, wig swaying behind him.

Silence follows his exit. Jaebum forces himself to look back at Jinyoung Park’s unfazed expression.

“I need to… um… catch it.” Jaebum says.

“Of course,” Jinyoung Park replies. He smiles. Jaebum wants to die.