“Sorry, I can’t make it today. Sometime came up with Suzy, I’ll make it up to you.”

Another one of those same old text messages.

Nara just stared at her phone emotionless. She was past the crying, this seemed to have become an ordinary thing.

It doesn’t even matter that she waited at the restaurant for hours, looking outside the window to see if he’s arrived.

“Ma’am, would you like to order something, you’ve been sitting here for quite a long time.” The waiter asked her, trying to get her to order something from their ‘Chef’s Specials’.

“Can you just bring out the cake that I brought earlier?” The waiter nodded and headed to the kitchen to get the tiramisu cake that she brought earlier in celebration for his birthday.

She wanted to spend his birthday with him because that’s what they did even before they started dating. He never spent his birthday with his family, because they were busy with who knows what. He didn’t spend it with his friends because he didn’t want them making a big deal of it. They spent it together, because it was one of the few special things that they did, just the two of them.

Now here she is, sitting alone in the table she reserved, surrounded by other couples who were in pure bliss.

Nara sighed just as the waiter was coming with the cake.

“Here you go ma’am, did you want the candles lit?” Nara just nodded.
 The waiter lit the ‘18’ candles, “Enjoy the cake ma’am.”
Nara was immersed in the flickering of the candles and didn’t even notice that the waiter left.

“Happy Birthday Mark. I love you.”

She blew on the candles, stood up, got her coat, and headed out the door.

For the first time in a long time, the tiramisu cake was left as a whole.
For the first time in a long time, Nara left by herself, no one to hold her hand.

 

Nara walked mindlessly to wherever her aching feet would take her.

She bumped into people who would give her looks and even scold her, but she didn’t even care at that moment.

Next thing she knew, she was in front of Mark’s house, standing in front of the door.

How did she even end up here? Even when she tries not to think about him, something always brings her back to him somehow.

He wasn’t even home. As much as she tried not to be those desperate, clingy girlfriend, she couldn’t help it knowing that he was with another woman.

It wasn’t just any woman, it was his ex-girlfriend, his first love, the girl that made him “feel like no other”.

It hasn’t been a long time that she was considered his girlfriend. Nara was the partner-in-crime, one of the guys, the best friend. She used to watch them from the sidelines as the campus couple who are a match made in heaven. She used to be the one he would tell his problems to, confide to, and get advice from for the special dates and anniversaries that Mark and Suzy spent together.

Suzy made the mistake of cheating on him with now his ‘ex-best friend’, JB.

Nara was there when he cried for the first time. She was there when no one else was. She was there when he couldn’t seem to keep living life. She helped him get out of his depression. She fed him, cared for him, and loved him, when Suzy couldn’t. Months later, Nara’s feelings finally got reciprocated, and love bloomed from their friendship.

It wasn’t fair. He still cares for her, loves her, even after all she has done to him.

Suzy claims that she regrets everything she has done. That she loves Mark, and that she will only love him. That JB and her was the biggest mistake that she has ever made.

She got diagnosed with depression and a whole lot of mental disorders after Mark wouldn’t take her back. Her parents begged him to take care of her because they didn’t know what she would do to herself. Being the kind-hearted person that he is, he obliged, and went to the hospital, and later her house, every day.

Mark assures Nara that he was only doing this because he doesn’t want Suzy to do anything rash. Even if she did hurt him, she doesn’t deserve to have suicidal thoughts, and she should have a bright future one day. He wasn’t doing it only for Suzy, but also for her parents who do nothing but love and care for her.

Nara knew that it wasn’t right to feel angry towards Suzy, but she couldn’t help herself.
No matter how much she loved. No matter how much she cared. No matter what she does, it could never compare to Suzy.
Mark would do anything for Suzy in a heartbeat, while Nara was left in the dust, picking up the broken pieces of her heart. It was always “Suzy needs this, Suzy needs that, You know the situation with Suzy, Nara please understand.”
It was never “Nara this, Nara that.”

Nara always gave, but never received.
Nara always understood, but she was never understood.
Nara always sacrificed, but her efforts were always ignored.
Nara always held on, but she was never held on to.
Nara always loved, but did Mark ever truly love her?

___________________________________________________________________________________

 

 “Nara, I can’t make it today, Suzy’s condition seem to have gotten worse.”

She held onto his hand, “Please don’t go to her. Please don’t leave me. Stay with me.”
She just about had it with him. Nara couldn’t hide her emotions anymore, and for the first time, she was able to tell Mark what she truly felt.

 

“Nara, you know I have to be there for Suzy, what if something happens to her!”
“So what? She’s not your responsibility. Let something happen to her!”
“How can you be so selfish?! She needs me, and I’m going to be there for her!”

“