words: 732
warnings: absolute nonsense.

Dear diary, Jongin looked incredibly awesome today.
 I always love it when he wears
 zip up hoodies,
 especially that grey and white one.
 He looks so cuddly.

Kyungsoo lived off of infinite glances and accidental touches, like the ones that happen when he passes Jongin the notebook he forgot on his desk. They were rare but managed to make him smile for the rest of the day.

It’s been a year since he knew Jongin now; it all started in sophomore year. Kyungsoo was assigned with Jongin for their one month biology project. That’s how he got to know how perfect the other guy was, how he was into rock bands and anime, and was more intellectual and nerdy than he may seem. To Kyungsoo, he was screaming perfection.

Maybe it’s the way he was so sweet during the time they sat next to each other, thighs barely touching, he always let him use the microscope first and gathered his books when the smaller guy seemed to be too clumsy. Maybe it’s the way Jongin was so different, how his ways of thinking were so out-of-this-world and unique, how he preferred to watch a whole anime under his covers or read a book about psychology than go out on a Saturday night.

It’s junior year, things have changed. They don’t talk like they used to, sometimes they don’t at all. Jongin now sits at the front table on the right, next to his abnormally tall friend. Kyungsoo sits at the back, secretly glancing at him from time to time.
Jongin chats during his class, his name being called from all sides of the room as he threw curt smiles to everyone. Kyungsoo doodles his name with an awkwardly uneven hand writing in his red notebook and wonders how he seems to be so invisible to the other male.

๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑

Wednesday means P.E class. Kyungsoo snuggles into his big sweater, short legs messily running around the field. His eyes don’t leave Jongin who’s wearing his usual white t-shirt and blue shorts, showing his long and defined legs, tan skin glowing under the burning 11 o’clock sun. His smile is dazzling among everyone as he catches a ball and runs around with it, a short girl following clumsily after him with giggles and shrieks. Kyungsoo’s eyes trail to the exposed skin of his collarbone and imagines how it would feel under his fingertips. What he didn’t imagine is how it would feel to run into the goal’s pole. He ends up at the nurse’s office.

His phone buzzes for a second and he picks it up from under his mountain of books. And soon his heart is beating two thousands mile per hour and his stomach is knotted at the name on his screen.

Jongin
‘Hey Kyungsoo. Is the history homework for tomorrow?’

Later that night he dreams of himself rested in Jongin’s arms, playing video games and kissing his plush lips. He wakes up at three to cry, not knowing the reason and spends the rest of his time reading last year’s text messages.

๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑

“Your hands are tiny.” Kyungsoo could hear the chuckle after those words as he wrote the last note on his copybook.

“It’s your hands that are abnormally big” He teased back, trailing his attention to the other’s tan hands.
Jongin sweeps the other’s small fingers away from his pen and places his warm palm over the other’s milky soft one and Kyungsoo swears he heard his heart meet his stomach.

“Your hands are way too small.” Jongin confirms as he makes all types of movements to showcase the size difference.
The combination of Kyungsoo’s chubby milk-white fingers with Jongin’s vast warm palm was beautiful, and the butterflies swimming all over Kyungsoo’s were too.

๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑

Jongin’s hands find their way around a slim waist and he pulls a petite body against his, and somewhere between soft giggles and heated touches he finds himself fall in love.
Kyungsoo hides under his blankets as hot streaks of water drip down his plush cheeks.
Jongin holds onto his girlfriend as he falls asleep and Kyungsoo clings weakly onto his soaked pillow.

๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑๑

Sometimes, love is not meant to be returned, to be shared.
It’s meant to haunt your mind and break your heart until you have the power to move on, keeping all this experience to yourself.
Sometimes love is just for one.

-yeah i don't know i'm sorry.