[This is the BGM for the whole story :D ]

“5 years? 10 years? 15 years? When do you want to settle down Hyun?”

He was looking at her with hopeful eyes, his eyes smile, screaming contentment. He keeps on nudging her but she didn’t answer. He looks at her as she continues looking at the setting sun, her chest heaving up and down, she was biting her lower lip as if stopping herself from speaking.

“Then after that, how many children do you want? Do you want to make a baseball team? Basketball team?  It’s up to you though! As long as I can see little hyun and little yong, I’ll be happy.”

He keeps on blabbering, although the pain in his chest is getting more painful, slowly tightening that it suffocates him.

“And oh! Your dream house! It was actually my planned surprise but do you know that I just finished making the blueprint yesterday? I actually did it in the recording studio since I need to be there so sajangnim won’t get mad at me! I’m 100% sure you’ll love it! It’s the same as what you’ve been telling me since wgm! Your oppa’s cool huh? “

Not now please, please, don’t.

 He wasn’t aware that he’s been biting his tongue hard that he tasted blood already. A lone tear fell from his eyes which he quickly wiped, afraid that she might see it.

“I was planning to get dubu and jjing jjingie a dog house so that they won’t mess with the interior! I’m so excited that I can’t s-“

“Oppa”

No Joohyun, please…

“I’m tired”

“Let’s go home ne? I knew you’ll say that! Aigoo my whiny yeoja! I told y-“

“Let’s stop this” she whispered

“Ahrasseo, I-I’ll keep quiet now. Let’s head home and sleep oh? I’ll just prepare dinner later”

“Oppa” she stopped him from walking, clutching both his hands, she looked up at him with those misty eyes he loathes to see. “I’m sorry, b-but I can’t continue anymore. I’m tired. I’m willing to be the first one to give up.” She sobbed painfully as she tightens her hold in his hands “I’m sorry if I can’t be with you 5 years from now, or 10 years, or 15 years after. I’m sorry if I can’t give you little Yong and little Hyun. I’m sorry Oppa but I can’t do this anymore.”

“O-Omo, my joohyun’s that tired? Aigoo, let’s go home and s-sleep now then” he cupped her cheeks and gently rubbed her arms to ease the building cold. The snow is slowly falling, making them shiver.

“Oppa listen to me” she stopped his hands from moving and held it together with her small hands, giving him the warmth even though his are bigger.

“Geumanhae Joohyun-ah. Geumanhae.” He sobbed lightly as he stops her from speaking by kissing her. “Please please please” he pleaded hopelessly as he keeps on kissing her

“Oppa” she pushes him slightly, holding her lips that are now swollen “I’m sorry”

“No! Please. Let’s forget about this okay? It didn’t happen. Kaja” he tried to reach for her hands but she moved away “Please don’t move away from me” he whispered hoarsely

“I don’t want this anymore” she inhaled deeply, as if forcing every word to come out of “I’m tired of hiding, I’m tired of being kept in the dark. I deserve so much more than this” she bravely confessed, her knuckles gone white from clenching

“It’s you who want it to be this way from the start!” his patience left him, that, he’s sure of. He won’t let her go, no, even if he’ll face a bloody war, as long as he know he’ll have her in the end, he’s willing to fight.

“But I never said that I want it to be this way FOREVER!” she shouted back

“What? You want to reveal our relationship now? FINE! If that’s what will make you take back all the things you said. FINE!” he fished out his phone from his pocket and dialled a number.

She just stood there, watching his every move. She saw the desperation and panic in his eyes, he was slightly trembling, and he keeps on biting his lower lip to stop it from shaking too. It was tearing her apart too, but it’s been 5 years, surely this need to end right?

 “Release an official statement of my relationship to the public. Post the pictures that dispatch sent us. Now.”

“NO!” she snatched his phone and ended the call “What are you doing?!”

“You told me you want to come out now right? This is what you want right?! Then why are you stopping me?!”

“You know what? We both need to cool down! We won’t be getting anywhere with this conversation!” She walked passed him with angry steps, calming herself as the fire inside her won’t easily die.

“Mianhe Joohyun-ah, Mianhe” he sobbed hard as he hugs her from behind tightly “Mianhe, mianhe, mianhe. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me please joohyun”

The tears she’s been fighting so hard to stop from falling finally gave in. She untangled herself from his tight hug, he was slowly weakening, she can feel the heaving of his chest and his painful sobs will surely hunt her forever.

“Ani. We’re both at fault Oppa, mianhe.” She pushed him quite hard that he staggers back and accidentally released her from his grasp, taking the opportunity, she ran away from him as she hails a cab and rode it without looking back.

“SEO JOO HYUN!” he shouted as the car started moving, it was as if his feet have its own mind that it started running after the cab where she is “JOOHYUN-AH!” ugly sobs won’t stop from coming out his mouth, his eyes were blurry as the fresh tears keeps on falling, not minding of brushing it away, he blindly still ran after her, calling her name as if it was the only word that can keep his mind intact.

“Joohyun don’t” he slumped from the ground as the cab sped up, totally leaving him behind.

“Why?” he balled his fist hard, punching the ground, looking numbly at his bleeding knuckled. Who cares if he won’t get to play anymore? When the muse he’s been using for years already left him. 

================================================================================================

One month, Three months, a year, a year and a half had passed, and it’s still her. No matter what he does, it’s still her. He tried to date, but he only keeps on comparing his dates from her. He keeps on thinking that no one can ever overpass her. No one, even the most famous one that he tried to date didn’t even reached Joohyun’s standard. 

Tell me how can I move on?

Tell me how can I stop myself from feeling these things.

Few months ago they met at a bar, it was unexpected, knowing Seo Joo Hyun, Night life isn’t into her liking. So imagine his surprised face when he saw her dancing at the dance floor with her unnies surrounding her. She was dancing and laughing, she was glowing, while he doesn’t.

He stares at her, feeling the loneliness eating him inside. He’s yearning for her, he misses her kisses, her smile that was for him only. The way her eyes lit up every time she sees him, and her sweet words before they sleep and when they wake up. Her I love you’s that lights up his world, the only thing that makes him strong with whatever challenges he’s facing.

Did she change already?  Was the first question he thought the first time he saw her after their last meeting. No, he doesn’t want to call it as break-up, they didn’t break up. It was a one sided wish.

But back when they’re still dating, she always sensed him every time they’re at the same room. Funny as it sounds, but it was as if they have their radar connected to each other.

Is it gone now? But I can still feel mine.

He wondered as he clutched his fast beating heart. He was expecting that she’s in her emotional state until now, that she’s still coping up with the said break up, but no, in fact she looks more carefree now, she’s glowing, and she became more beautiful than the last time they met.

Am I the only one suffering?

He stepped forward, slowly, as if measuring the distance they have. It was as if his heart stopped as he saw her turn around and waved at his spot. He smiled widely as he saw her smiling while waving excitedly.

“Hi Doll” he heard from his behind. Her unnies started squealing, just like what they were doing when he’s still courting her.

He turn around and saw a tall guy walked passed him, not minding if he hit his shoulder, making him stagger a bit, the guy didn’t even looked back but continued striding towards Joohyun’s circle.

He saw how her eyes lit up and the blush crept evenly on both sides of her cheeks. She was holding her hair, obvious that she was nervous when the guy is approaching her.

It hurts, it hurts to see her reacting the same way she did when they were only starting. He fully knows that look she has right now. And it hurts him, it cuts him inside, shattering his heart more.

How easy it is to find my replacement

He laughed bitterly, the pain he’s been feeling slowly numbing his body

“Kisseu! Kisseu! Kisseu!” He wants to disappear, shut down all the noises around him, he wants everything to disappear

“WOOOOH! THERE IT GOES! GOOOO! FEW MORE!” he’s stupid, he’s stupid for opening his eyes and for staring at Joohyun and the guy’s face getting closer.

“Go LEE SOOHYUK! THAT’S IT!!!” catcalls where heard as their lips finally met. It seems like it wasn’t enough, the guy pulled her waist closer to his, his other hand hold the back of her head and deepened the kiss.

Please don’t kiss him back!

He was screaming wildly inside, it hurts, but he can’t turn around. He saw her arms s around the guy’s neck and answered back his passionate kiss that they seem to forget that they’re at a public place.

 He his heel and walked out of the bar without looking back.

Why would I? What’s more to lose? Nothing will get more painful than this.

***********************~

He focused on writing music, and during his free time, he chose to spend it with his dongsaengs, he won’t drown himself in alcohol, because he knows Joohyun will throw a fit once she found out that he drank alcohol again.

“Don’t you want to drink?” Jungshin asked

They were at their old dorm, deciding to spend time together as they all miraculously got the same rest day. Jungshin’s phone rang, he peeked at the caller and noticed that he stiffened.

“Who is it?”

“M-my model friend”

“Then answer it.” He coldly asked as he focused on the television

Jungshin answered it, they can faintly hear the caller shouting as if he won lottery

“Yah I can’t understand you. Speak clearly!” Jungshin shouted. He was intently listening to the caller and he suddenly paled, clutching the phone hard as if it’ll break into pieces.

“I-I’m happy for you Lee” Jungshin halfheartedly greeted, making his tone sound lively but his expression didn’t changed.

The three looked at him weirdly, when he ended the call, the three stared at him curiously as if waiting for him to say what it was all about.

“Uhh, work related” he nervously said “Who wants some beer? My treat!”

===========================================================================

It’s been two years, how many years will I still wait for me to give her up? The love that I thought will fade as time goes by didn’t changed, it surprisingly yearns more, it intensified to the point that he’s too scared to think about it. His sanity might leave him because of it.

“I have a hot friend that wants to meet you hyung. Do you want to?” He’s seriously getting annoyed with his friends’ matching plan with him.

“I told you I’m not interested”

“Hyung! You’ll get old alone if you continue doing that!” they shouted out of frustration “It’s been 2 years hyung! Move on!”

“Stop meddling with my business”

“Hyung! She’s happy now! Believe it or not, she’s happy now! It’s time for you to be happy too”

“Let’s continue where we left off”

But even before they started, they heard a faint knock, they all turned their heads and saw Hyoyeon peeking at the door.

“Noona!” Jungshin and Minhyuk greeted enthusiastically, Hyo greeted them back and nod at Yonghwa who’s looking at her curiously, or rather, looking at the envelop she was holding.

His heart beat faster, he was shaking. He keeps on staring at the envelop, slowly, hope starts to build inside of him again.

“What’s that?” He asked as he pointed at the familiar envelop she’s holding

“Ah this”

He went to get it from her, feeling his heart thumping at the familiar envelop. It was the same envelop and style from their wgm. And it somehow brings hope to him

Slowly, he opened it. Only to have the greatest surprise of his life. It was written in bold letters, and a very detailed one… It left him speechless, it seems like his brain can’t processed what’s written

It says…

Mr. Lee Soo Hyuk & Ms. Seo Joo Hyun

request the honor of your presence at their marriage that’ll happen on

He didn’t get to finish it as his knees gave in, making him fell hard on the floor. He was clutching the envelop hard, the hope it gave awhile ago was crushed instantly, leaving a deeper and more defined scar that’ll forever be etched in his heart.

“Tell her we’re coming then” he said coldly to Hyoyeon who was looking at him with pity in her eyes

“You should’ve been the one written beside her name, if only you were brave enough to face the wrath of your fans.” She bravely said and started walking towards the door “But then, you chose your career more than your happy ever after, don’t make Hyunnie sad AGAIN and attend HER wedding. It’s the least you can do.” With that, she stalked out of the room, leaving the people inside dumbfounded.

That night, Yonghwa drowned himself in alcohol, wishing that he won’t get to wake up the next day and just end his life even before the day of her marriage comes. He’ll die that time anyway. So why will he wait for it when he can just do it now.

“DON’T MAKE HYUNNIE SAD?! THEN WHAT ABOUT ME!? DO YOU FCKING THINK I’M HAPPY WITH IT?! I’M MAKING HER SAD WITH IT?! THEN I’M ING DYING WITH IT! I’M ING DYING WITH THE PAIN! IT’S ALL MY FAULT. IT’S ALWAYS MY ING FAULT!” he hurled the goblet into the wall, making it shatter into pieces “5 YEARS? 10 YEARS?! FCKING 15 YEARS AND YOU WILL BE WAKING UP IN THE ARMS OF A DIFFERENT MAN! HOW WAS THAT BEING HAPPY?! SHE ING LEFT ME! SHE GAVE ME UP EVEN BEFORE I PUT ON A FIGHT!”

He shouted until his throat sores, until his tears all went out, if that’s impossible.

“Hyung uljimma” Jungshin pleaded as he hugged their leader who was bawling his eyes out on the floor while different kinds of liquor that was already consumed were scattered around him. It was the first time they saw him that ed up

“Jungshin-ah, it hurts.” He sobbed hard, making himself cry in front of his dongsaeng “Let hyung cry for now eh? I-I’ll be strong again tomorrow” he sobbed, clutching Jungshin’s collar as he cry louder, feeling the alcohol leaving his system

“You can cry as much as you want hyung, it’s time that your dongsaeng will be the one to take care of you. You’ve done enough hyung”

“Mianhe, mianhe for being weak” he sobbed “mianhe for being a stupid hyung”

“Hyung geumanhae” Minhyuk pleaded as he comfortingly pat his hyung’s back

“Move on hyung, you deserve to be happy too” Jonghyun said as he comfortingly taps his head

*************~

The wedding day came, he slowly fixed his tie, staring at his reflection in the mirror. No matter how hard he tries to accept it, he still can’t. Not when his dream to finally see her in a wedding dress will come true, but it won’t be him who’ll be waiting for her at the altar.

“Ready hyung?” Jungshin asked as he looked at him worriedly

“No”

“You need to. Man up hyung!” Jonghyun said, smiling a bit as if consoling him

“Let’s go” he said dispiritedly

The wedding march song was being played, the moment the door opened, Yonghwa badly want to walk out of there and just drag her out of her own wedding.

He wants to scream profanities, make her go back to her senses, and make her realize that he’s the one for her as much as she’s the one for him. Only them forever, together.

He was staring at her sadly, she’s so beautiful, ethereal, the way he imagined her in a wedding dress and was marching to the aisle are all lies, she’s much more beautiful in the real one, she’s perfect.

It was as if the numbness didn’t spread through his whole heart that he found her standing in front of him and looking at him with shining eyes, he was about to convince her not to continue it but her next words robbed the words out of him.

“I’m happy Oppa, Thank you for letting me go, and proving me that you’re not the one for me.” She smiled beautifully and was about to continue walking passed him when he spoke

“I’ll still love you, I’ll still love you even if 5 years, 10 years, 15 years will pass, I’ll still love you, my Love light. I’ll see you in the next life, I’ll still find you, and make sure that I’ll be the one ending up with you. I love you, hyun.” He smiled sadly as he walked out of the church, running fast and blindly crossing the street, willing to end his life, right that instant.

“OPPA!!!”

“OPPAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! OPPA WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!” he slowly opened his eyes and was welcomed with the warm brown eyes he won’t get tired of looking “FINALLY!” she scoffed and was about to jump off the bed when he pulled her and made her lie above him, pinning her weight to his.

“Hi Love” He whispered huskily, leaning forward and kissed her lips

“Good morning” she greeted while giggling as his stubbles tickle her

“APPA!!!” She moved out above him as they hear the little footsteps rushing towards their room and settled herself beside him, snuggling on his warmth.

“my babies!” he chuckled as they crawled between them, separating them

“Jinnie! Yurimmie!” He whined as they settled between them, creating a distance at them “I want to be beside your omma!” He pouted

“Andwae!” The twins answered in unison, making him face palmed himself “Yah Hanjin! Hanyurim!” he tried to use his strict voice but it fell on deaf ears as the two evil twin hugged their mother happily

“Let me join!!” he screamed as he rolled above her, squeezing her

“Oppa! Heavy!”  his wife whined

“Bear with it. This two won’t let me get close to you!” he pouted

“Yurim-ah, Jin-ah heeeeeeelp” and just like a magic, the evil twins moved out and ran out of their room, giggling as they play by themselves back in their own room.

“You can get off me now” she said, breathing heavily

“Nah, It’s more comfortable here” he grinned down at her and pecked her lips

“I love you” he sincerely said

“I love you too”

“Don’t you ever leave me”

“Oppa, what were you imagining again? You were daydreaming when I get back from the kitchen! Jinjja, are you still imagining things so that you can create break up songs?”

“You know me too well” he grinned and stole a kiss from her again

“Do you want to create a sadder one?”

“Why? What’s your suggestion?”

“Let’s break up for a while, ani, let’s break up every now and then so you can create sad songs”

“No thank you. I’m contented on just imagining it. Just imagining it is painful already. I don’t even want to think of it again.”

“Wae? What did you imagine this time?”

“I don’t want to think about it again. I got lost and carried away. My mind went out of the box” he pouted “I even used a male model” he mumbled that she didn’t catch what he last said

“What is it again?”

“Nothing, I’m hungry buin-ah”

“Let’s eat then”

“Ahra, I’ll just freshen up. Meet you there baby” he winked at her as he stood up and walk straight to their bathroom “I love you”

“and I love you too” she giggled as he playfully blew her flying kisses, lots of it.

He was whistling happily as he walks down the step, the tv in the kitchen was one, indicating that Joohyun is already cooking. He was about to walk towards her when his gaze accidentally went to the screen. His eyes widen as he saw the model Lee Soo Hyuk walking confidently at the runway

“TURN THAT OFF!” he shouted as he frantically search for the remote control

“Wait! He’s sooo handsome Oppa! It’s my first time seeing a perfectly sculptured model and-“

“YAH! YOU’RE MARRIED ALREADY! YOU CAN’T JUST DO THAT!”

“Choding!”  She stuck her tongue out and continued flipping the pancake

“I love you” he s his arms around her waist and nuzzles her neck, burying his face at the crook of her neck “I love you I love you I love you, thank you for choosing me as your husband, ani, thanks for choosing me as your first and last” he beamed at her proudly

“And I love you too. Thank you for choosing me against all the opportunity”

“Ani, I grabbed the right opportunity! I’m glad of having the opportunity to spend the rest of my existence with you.”

“Aigoo my hubby is sooo sweet”

“I love you”

“seriously, how many times are you going to tell me that?”

“I love you” he whined as he anticipate her answer

“Cham”

“I love youuuuuuu” he puckered his lips cutely, wiggling her left to right

“Ahra ahra” she giggled “I love you too” she turn around and s her arms around his neck. He slightly flinched when he remembered once again his imagination when she answered back, ani , ani aniiiI! He shook his head and leaned down to kiss her deep, wanting to prove her that she’s the best opportunity that came to his life.

  ===============================================================

A/N

This is undited one! Hahaha! you know why I made this right? Hahaha

Himnae GGM! <333

ps. PEACE OUT! Hahaha!

-Azile17