Yuri watched herself in the mirror, she was ready. She smiled a little, she had never seen herself so well dressed. It was stupid, but she wanted to prove everyone that she was a grow up woman now, that she had a great job and money. This school reunion was her only chance and she needed to take it.

She looked down, she wasn’t this poor and afraid child she used to be, she was strong and determined, nothing could bring her down now. Her red and y dress had nothing to do with the old t-shirt she used to borrow from her brother because her parents couldn’t buy her much clothes.
Her shoes were so glamorous that it made her forgot about her old sneakers not so white anymore with holes that ruined her socks every time it was raining.

And tonight, it was raining, Yuri shook her head, it was just like her first day in this school…

She was 16, and arrived in the middle of the year. Her dad had lost his job so they moved in Seoul, there were more chances for her dad to quickly find an another job there. Yuri and her family just followed him and she entered the new high school. Everything was so different from her old school, in Seoul everything was bigger and beautiful. The kids were all so cool it was like living in a dream.

She was walking in the giant corridor, getting out of the principal office. He send her in her first class when she bumped into a girl that pushed her on the floor.

« Sorry » Mumbled Yuri getting up and looking at the girl. She was beautiful, the prettiest girl Yuri ever saw. « I’m sorry. » She added shyly.

« Get out of my way. » Just said the girl picking up her notebook that fell in the collision.

Yuri frowned. « Wait! I’m new here… » She said stopping the girl. « Please, could you help me and show me where my first class is? » She asked showing her the paper the principal gave her.

« No » Said the girl. « I don’t have time for… » She looked up and down at Yuri. « For ugly people. »

Yuri clenched her teeth . « I’m sorry, what? » She asked angry.

« You totally heard me. »

Yuri dropped her bag and came closer to the girl, she wanted to know why she was so mean, but the girl pushed her on the floor and jumped on her to hit her. The fight was quickly stopped by a teacher that took them to the principal office.

Yuri was about to explain herself when the girl stood up and went hugging the principal.

« Daddy, this girl attacked me! »

Yuri looked down, great, the pretty and violent girl, was the principal’s daughter…

And it all started because of this. Yoona, it was her name, made Yuri’s life a hell, mocking her everyday, bullying her every time she could, humiliating her.

Yuri’s dark skin and her brother’s clothes didn’t helped her. Everyone was running away from her since the first day. And Yoona took a real pleasure to find everyway to made Yuri down.

This girl was as beautiful as mean. Everybody knew that, but nobody dared stopping her. Yuri often thought about disappearing, ran away or even die to make it stop, but she wasn‘t strong enough to made a move so she just let it go, hopping in the future, out of this school it would be better. 
And it was. Her job was everything she had ever dreamt about, with nice coworkers and a bossy boss, but she was used to violence and humiliation so her boss was really cool compared to the hell she lived in her school.

In a way, meeting Yoona and having to live this situation made her stronger now, she became who she is because of this girl… It’s sad, but it’s true.

Now it was the time, time to face all those people, and especially Yoona, Yuri was ready to show her she wasn’t afraid anymore, that she had a great life and that she was y. Yoona couldn’t made her feel bad again, the power she had on her was gone and for good.

It was what Yuri was thinking to bust her, but deep inside, she knew that facing Yoona would be more difficult that that, but she needed it.

So she went to the school and entered the gymnast, lots of people were already here, her stomach started making her feel sick. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea after all, she didn’t needed to prove anything to anybody, she didn’t cared about those people…  

« Yuri? » Asked a voice that she immediately recognize.

« Too late… » Mumbled Yuri turning around to face the girl.

Here was Yoona, walking to her, pushing the people in her way. Yuri’s heart was beating fast, she didn’t know what would happen, maybe it was a trap, maybe Yoona wanted to humiliate her again, she’s close, so close now.

And she hugged her. Yoona hugged Yuri tight. It wasn’t in any scenario, Yuri was so confused and shocked, she just pushed the girl away.

« I’m so happy to see you again. » Said Yoona with a big smile, and for once it didn’t looked at those evil or fake smiles she used to see on the girl face, it seemed real. Which confused Yuri even more.

« Are you kidding me? » Asked Yuri angry. « You’re happy to see me? Ready to mock me again after all this time? You missed this right? Humiliating me? »

Yoona looked at the people around that were looking at them curiously, wanting to know what would answer their previous queen.

« I… » Yoona sighed and took Yuri’s hand, taking her into the corridor before entering the locker room.

« What is this game? » Asked Yuri.

« There is no game Yuri, I’m really happy to see you, it’s true. » Yuri scoffed rolling her eyes. « Really. » Insisted Yonna. « Time had passed, we’re not those kids anymore, I wouldn’t act like I did before, never. »

Yuri frowned. « So what? We’re going back out there and doing like nothing happened? »

Yoona nodded. « That would be better, we’re adult and what happened was a mistake, we were so young and stupid. »

« No you were so young and stupid. » Said Yuri.

« You’re right, I was, but I’m not anymore. » Explained Yoona. « Please, I’m sorry. »

Yuri shook her head. « Get out of my way. » She said pushing Yoona away to get out of the locker room, but Yoona took her by the arm.

« Don’t reverse the role! » She said angrily. « Don’t be like that with me. »

Yuri swallowed hard. « I’m like I want with you, after what you’ve done to me! »

« Yuri… »

« Don’t! » Said Yuri pushing Yoona’s hand away. « I can’t pretend! I can’t forgot what happened, maybe it’s easy for you to forget, but not for me, and if you want me to act like nothing ever happened between you and me, you’re wrong. »  

Yoona stayed silent. Yuri sighed. « Don’t you realize what you did? You made my life an hell. I was so scared every time I was walking in those corridors, afraid that you would throw something at me, or hit me. I was so afraid you would add bruises on the one I already have… I feel like because of you! I though about killing myself Yoona… I just wanted to disappear… »

Yuri wiped her tears away and looked at Yoona in the eyes. « I just wanted you to forget me, I knew I would never be like the cool kids, but I hoped that you would stop and let me alone… But you never did… »

« I’m so sorry. »

« You’re sorry? » Asked Yuri clenching her fists. « One of your boy friends broke my arm when he throw me in the trash because you asked him to do it! » Said Yuri. « The insults were nice compared of the time you would hit me. »

Yoona came closer « Yuri I- » 

Yuri cut her and pushed her away. « I jump every time someone is too close to me, I’m scared when people touch me… » Confessed Yuri. « I used to think all of this was my fault. » She added.

« It wasn’t. » Said Yoona. « It wasn’t… » She whispered teary eyed. « I regret every thing I did to you. I keep dreaming about it, and I hate myself and want to punch myself when I watch the mirror. I was horrible, a real monster. » Said Yoona looking down. « I imagine you sometime coming to me and killing me and I feel at peace. »

Yuri frowned.

« I know that nothing with erase it, but I’m really sorry, I wish I could go back in time and do things differently, but I can’t. »

« Yeah, you can’t. » Said Yuri calming down a little. « But, with the time now, I wonder, why me? » She asked curious. « I know you used to be mean with other people, but never like this. » Said Yuri sitting on the edge of the bench in the middle of the room.

« You can’t understand. » Said Yoona looking down.

Yuri smiled. « Don’t underestimate me. » 

Yoona sighed and came closer to Yuri. « It’s complicated. » She said sitting beside Yuri, she turned her head to the girl and saw her looking at her, expecting some explications. 

« Tell me. » Said Yuri almost begging for an answer.

Yoona bit her lips. « You really want to know? » She asked and Yuri nodded. « It’s bad, really bad. »

« I’m ready for everything. It can’t be worst than anything you already did to me. » Said Yuri, seeing the guilt growing into Yoona’s eyes.

They stayed silent, and Yuri started thinking that Yoona would never tell her. And she really was wasting her time here. Maybe it was time to leave, coming here in the first place was a bad idea, now she know it, and this conversation was exhausting.

« You know what, I don’t care, I’m leaving, I need to go home. » Said Yuri standing up.

Yoona took her by the arm and stood up too before kissing her. It was awkward because Yuri didn’t kissed her back, she was just too shocked to move or do anything.

« That was the reason… » Said Yoona taking a step back. « But the cool kids can’t be gay. » She said sadly. Yuri was looking at her very confused. « I think I fell for you the moment I bumped into you on your first day, but I couldn’t let those feelings out, so I called you names, insulting you about your dark skin, that I find really pretty, or your clothes, which made you cute by that time. But it wasn’t enough, the butterflies in my stomach were still here every time my eyes saw you, so I went further. Humiliating you, pushing you, hitting you, was a way to let my anger out, but I wasn’t angry at you, I was angry at me… And I couldn’t find a way to stop everything… »

Yuri didn’t know what to say.

« Before I could understand what I was doing, it was too late, I went to far… » Said Yoona. « And you will probably never forgive me, but I’m deeply sorry Yuri. »

Yoona came closer and hugged her again, she knew it was her last chance to do it. Yuri took a step back after the hug. 

« It’s too much Yoona, I need to go. »

« No wait. » Yoona took a big breath. « Now that I said it, I need to be sure you get it. » She explained. 

« Don’t expect anything from me, I don’t know what to tell you, I’m still worried you’re playing with me… » Said Yuri suspicious.

« Yeah I know, you don’t have to say anything, just listen. » Answered Yoona. « I need to be sure that you know you were loved, all this time you were loved Yuri. But I quickly understood that someone as sweet as you wouldn’t be my friend, I was a cold hearted girl, a daddy’s girl, a that liked to be admired by everybody. I needed to be like this, my dad was the principal and the other kids tried to use me, they wanted my dad to be kind with them… I’m not trying to say that I took the right decisions. But I acted like I thought was good at the time… 
It’s been some years now that I’m seeing a psychologist, he helped me a lot, and I keep thinking that if I’m so much damaged then it would be worst for you… » 

Yuri looked at her. It was true, after everything the went through she was damaged too, her trust issues, her fears, everything came from high school.

« I’m always making conversations in my head about what I would tell you. » Said Yoona. « I do this every time. And even if tonight nothing came like I wanted I finally said it. I think that the only way to feel at peace, is to talk. »

« What do you want me to say? » Asked Yuri frowning. « That you ruined me, made me so miserable? That you hurt me? » The anger was starting to came out. « I couldn’t even hate you! I tried so hard but I couldn’t! » She said pushing Yoona against the lockers. « Your eyes, your eyes stopped me every time I wanted to fight back… » She said keeping Yoona stuck between her and the lockers. « The sadness and the despair, I could always see it in your eyes. » They were close, Yuri’s body against Yoona to keep her from moving. « Your face, is hunting my dreams, making me waking up in tears! I promised myself nobody would never break me down ever and look at me, you did it again!  »

Yoona looked down, Yuri was so strong, she couldn’t move or get away, and Yuri’s anger was starting to scare her, but she was ready, ready to suffer, to get hit by Yuri, she deserved it.

Yuri clenched her fist, she was breathing heavily. Yoona closed her eyes, ready to get punched. But it never came, Yuri’s body relaxed and the girl just cried, she let herself fell against Yoona, her head in Yoona’s neck and cried.

« I want to hate you, I want you to suffer… » She mumbled crying. « But I can’t hurt you, I can’t… »

Yoona was crying too, she put her arms around Yuri and reassured her. « You will be okay. »

They stayed like that some minutes before Yuri let go of Yoona and sat back on the bench. « You’re the only one that can make me loose control. All this emotions seems to rush into my veins when I’m facing you. I’m usually so indifferent to people, I just don’t care anymore, but with you… I don’t know, you have this power on me… »

« I know, after all this time, I can’t forget you neither, those feelings are still here, you never left my mind, my heart… » Said Yoona. « You got some power on me too. »

« How can you still love me? » Asked Yuri wondering how this girl could still have feelings for her after all this time.

Yoona shook her shoulders. « You were my first love, we never let go on our first love. »

« Yeah but still. It wasn’t an happy first love story. »

Yoona bit her lower lip. « I couldn’t forget you just like you couldn’t forget me I guess. » 

Yuri looked down and felt Yoona sat beside her. « Do you think we will hunt each other forever? » Asked Yuri seriously.

« It’s up to us. » Answered Yoona with a sigh.

« Maybe we were meant to meet, to learn from each other, to discover who we are… » Said Yuri in a whisper. « Where are you going? » She asked suddenly, seeing Yoona leaving the bench and walking to the locker room door.

« They’re waiting for their old queen. » Simply said Yoona.

« You’re going to face them? »

Yoona nodded. Yuri stood up and walked to Yoona. « Don’t do that, they’re just waiting for some gossip. They just want fresh news to judge you. »

« You’re so kind hearted. » Smiled Yoona. 

Yuri blushed, this girl was really making her feel so mixed feelings. But she was sure about one thing, she wouldn’t let her go back there. 

« Yeah, that’s why you won’t go back in the gymnast. We’re leaving. » Said Yuri taking her hand and going in the corridor. They didn’t walked to the gymnast, they took the opposite direction. They walked through the school, lots of memories came back to them. Yuri stopped when they passed by the janitor closet. Yoona looked at her and swallowed hard. 

« I’m sorry… » Whispered Yoona. She used to lock Yuri into it for hours during their high school time.

« It’s okay. » Said Yuri coldly. « I can’t stay in this place more longer. »

Yoona nodded and they left. Once on the parking lot Yuri let go of Yoona’s hand, surprise she was still holding it.

« Here we are. » Said Yuri. It was dark, and still raining a little. She looked around. « It was raining the first time I came here. » She said sadly.

« I remember. » Said Yoona with a little smile. « Your hair were soaked, and your grey wet t-shirt was showing your black bra. » Said Yoona remembering it perfectly. Yuri frowned. « I was shocked. » Quickly said Yoona. « It was so vulgar for our school. » She added.

« Yeah. » Laughed Yuri.

« It’s the first time I see you laugh… » Said Yoona wiping the drops of water that were on Yuri’s cheek. « It’s raining more and more, we should go in our cars... »

Yuri was still looking at Yoona, this girl was making her crazy. She scared her, but fascinated her at the same time, she made her angry, but calmed her in the blink of an eye. 

« Mine’s here. » Continued Yoona not aware Yuri was just staring at her and not listening anymore.

« it. » Whispered Yuri which surprised Yoona. But she didn’t had time to say anything because Yuri was kissing her. Yoona kissed her back, it wasn’t sweet or shy, it was hard and passionate. Yuri even bit Yoona’s lower lip, making her bleed a little. Their tongues were fighting and Yoona couldn’t take the control this time. Yuri’s anger was doing all the job. She was desperate. Like she needed it, needed the violence, needed to fight. Yoona felt Yuri’s hands around her neck and on the back of her head, the fingers intertwined into her hair. Yuri wasn’t ready to let her go. Yoona put her hands on Yuri’s back, caressing it slowly. They were like fire and ice, Yuri was so rough, but Yoona answered with sweetness. Making Yuri calm down a little to finally let the kiss become more gentle.

Neither girls wanted to stop it, to face each other and realize everything was real, facing the reality would be to difficult, to complicated to explain, it was an impulsion. Almost a wild need.

They just weren’t ready to face their act.

They keep kissing like their life depended on it, like they would die if their stop. Yoona was savoring it, Yuri was enjoying it. Like a victory for both side.

It was finally too much and they moved away looking at each others faces, looking for some emotion, clues about what this kiss signified for the other. Yuri smiled because she immediately see it in Yoona’s eyes; desire, love.

Yoona had more difficulties, she couldn’t read on Yuri’s face. She didn’t know what this kiss meant to her, but Yuri had started it so…

« We should rewrite the story… » Whispered Yuri. Yoona raised eyebrows. « You’re the only one that can fix what you did, the only one that can heal me…I need you, and you need me… » Explained Yuri not sure she was making the good decision, but all she could think about right now was Yoona‘s bleeding lip. Maybe this relationship wasn’t healthy but Yuri knew that this girl was the only one that could move her deep inside in any way. And her heart would never beat as fast for someone else.

« You’re sure you want it? » Asked Yoona worried. 

Yuri nodded. « I trust you. » She said with a little smile. « I read in you like in a book, and now that the anger left me, I can see it clearly. I can see you’re sincere. »

« So you give us a new start? » Asked again Yoona.

« More like a continuation. » Said Yuri coming closer to Yoona and hugging her, putting her head on her neck just like she did in the locker room before. « Why do I feel safe in your arms…? » Asked Yuri tightening the embrace. « Like I know you can be the death of me but I still need you like crazy. »

« That’s love. » Said Yoona. « That’s definitely love. Too bad we were to young and stupid to understand it earlier. »

Yuri rolled her eyes. « No you were the stupid one. »

« Yeah I totally was. » Agreed Yoona kissing Yuri’s head.

FIN