I thought I had it under control

Apparently I didn't. Not with the way Donghae flinched from my caresses. He was scared of me. The worst part was that I didn't know how to ask him, or explain that in a way it was me, but at the same time it wasn't. I could never hurt Donghae. He had never done anything to me. Even after they did something, he pretended that things were fine.

And I hate it. I hate how he doesn't feel the same, or react the same. Our kisses, he's pulling away from me. Putting up a front and hoping I wouldn't notice, but I do. I see it in his eyes, he's staring me down, waiting patiently to see what I'll do. I feel it in his touch, the goosebumps that line his milky skin from fear not excitement.

The love of my life is terrified of me and the worst part is that I don't know what they've done...

"You think too much Hyukjae."

I jump up, shook out of my thoughts by Donghae. "I wasn't." He stares at me knowing otherwise, then rolls his eyes. "If you weren't then you would've noticed me instead of getting scared."

"Have I hurt you Hae?"

The air grows silent. His mouth opens partially and I can see it in his eyes that he's searching for words. Words that won't break me, but he's searching too long and I have my answer already.

"I did." I answer. I knew his response would be another lie except this time he couldn't come up with one fast enough. I've caught him off guard.

"H-hyukjae, where is this coming from?"

My sight darkens and I look away. I can't bare to look at him, to see the betrayal and fear and broken heart all at once. I can't see it and it makes me less of a man.

"I'm sorry!" He cries out and falls to his knees, the cup of water in his hand crashes to the ground, but he doesn't move. Shocked, I move from the couch to kneel in front of him and I gently lift his face. Tears are pouring heavily, his face is reddened and it is at that moment I notice a faint bruise on the side of his mouth. Realizing that it was I who caused it, I pull him into my arms and cry out myself.

"I'm a monster Hae. Leave me. Leave me please." I beg. I tune in to his endless sobbing and I slowly feel my consciousness changing. No. You can't-

My grip tightens around his lithe body and I smirk. "You really think you could leave?" I bend slightly and nibble his earlobe a bit, feeling him shudder and wriggle in my arms. I whisper, "This is a routine baby and you'll never escape."