I am the leader of fourteen men, the person they look to for guidance. But, all that attention, that responsibility, I need help. Help, I am too proud to ask for.

I am the one people run too when trouble starts. The one who is expected to fix the problems that interfere with my dongsaengs. My problems are not important, my problems do not exists.

I love my brothers, they are special to me and I want them to be happy, even if my own happiness has to be put aside. I am the leader, the parent, the one they lean on when upset. I cry, because they feel they can’t.

When we were trainee’s together, I was their parent, the eldest, most of them were just children when we met. I can’t let them get hurt.

I almost lost Kyuhyun, I almost always lose Eunhae. I may not be the best leader, but I am a leader. I have to set a good example for both ELF and my dongsaengs. I am the face of Super Junior. It is my job to lead this group on and off camera, in the right direction.

Our lives, my life is always on camera, I can not afford to fail and set a bad example. I smile because I have to be strong, I fight, because I have too.

Fourteen dongsaengs, and over a billion Elf’s. It is my job to keep them safe. It is my job as leader to make them smile. This war I fight is my own, this depression is my own as well. I have a family to protect, even if it is from myself. This, is the war I fight.