“Mommy, are you ready?” a four-year old asked her mother, kicking the fallen leaves on the floor with her brown leather sandals.

The mother smiled at her daughter, caressing her rosy pink cheeks,” yes I am Stephie. Are you ready to visit daddy now?” The girl nodded her head eagerly, slipping her hands into her mother’s before heading to the grave.

Sweeping off leaves and branches from her husband’s grave, Tiffany touched the memorial stone. Unknowingly, tears fell down from her eyes when she thought about the event that happened.

Flashback

 “Oh my goodness! I thought our princess would only greet the world next week!” Nichkhun scurried down to the car park, half-excited and half-nervous that his first-born would be delivered today. He slipped his phone into his pocket before entering his car, driving off to Seoul’s International Hospital to meet the two most important person of his life.

“HURRY! GREEN LIGHT PLEASE!” he screamed impatiently as he was greeted with a series of red lights. Letting out a huge sigh, he tapped on the driving wheel repeatedly and dashed his way through when he saw the signal to move. Without notice, he was speeding his way through at a horrendous speed and then...

He was greeted with nothing, but a flash of light.

Present

“Why would you even do such a dangerous act, you said that you would be there to see our baby but you didn’t,” Tiffany broke down into tears, reminiscing the past event that caused her to have an incomplete family. “Mommy…” she heard a soft and timid voice from beside her. “Mommy is fine Stephie, are you done saying what you want to say to Daddy?” Tiffany wiped her tears away, cupping the little girl’s chin. Pulling her daughter into a tight hug, Tiffany rubbed her back. “Let’s go to Aunt Taeyeon’s house, it’s your birthday today sweetheart.” Pulling away from her mother, the four-year old nodded as they walked hand-in-hand towards the car.

The drive back home was a silent one; no one was talking, they were only accompanied by the sound of the radio.

 When I hear your footsteps, greeting you with a smile

That is the only gift that I could give you

Are you feeling sick anywhere? Was it hard?

Don’t worry about me, I just need you to be okay

When your heart is aching, when no one is there for you, just come here

“Mommy, did Daddy leave because of me?” Stephie broke the silence, stunning her mother with a question that she wished to know. “Of course not, it was an accident. No one wants something like that to happen. Why do you think like that?” Tiffany gazed at her daughter worriedly.

The child seating next to her played with her fingers, “I don’t know. I don’t want to celebrate my birthday ever again because I can’t be happy without daddy and I made you cry.  If I am not born, Daddy wouldn’t have left you,” the child poured out her feelings,” it’s all my fault.”

Braking the car at the side of the road, Tiffany looked at her daughter. “Honey, it’s not your fault. Do you know what your daddy said to me when you were still in my tummy?” The child shook her head. “He said that he is willing to do anything just for you to be happy and safe. He left us because he was eager to meet you and he made a mistake. It is definitely not your fault. You did nothing. Just know that he loves you. And he will always be in your heart,” Tiffany kissed her cheeks, wiping her tears away from her small face.

“I’m sorry Mommy,” Stephie choked, hugging her mother tightly. “Don’t say that, now let’s go to Aunt Taeyeon’s house to meet Leo shall we? They prepared many nice events for us,” Tiffany rubbed her back gently, whispering sweet nothings to the child to comfort her. Earning a small nod from her daughter, Tiffany placed her in her car seat and drove off to the destination.

“Remember, if you miss Daddy, he is in your heart. Talk to him. Because i do so too.”