“Nothing burns like the cold.” 
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

After singing what felt like a thousand songs, Ken found himself lying on the floor, motionless. He had been in the practice room for hours without informing the other members. He wanted silence - no, he needed it. Because when silence flutters, he realizes he needs something from Leo ; something that Leo finds difficult to give.. something he knows that Leo may never give. Ever.

His mind flew to that night.

He heard noises from outside his window  and after watching scary movies, Ken couldn't help but creep up into his beloved hyung's bed. He was far too scared. Maybe, even too scared to be ignored because much to his surprise, Leo pulled him in and hugged him the way he always wanted to be hugged. Feeling overwhelmed, Ken let those three words escape from his heart - from his brain and from his lips. 

"I love you."

Ken was supposed to regret it moments later but he didn't. He was supposed to mentally curse himself for pouring his heart out, for telling the truth but then again, he didn't because he felt a pair of lips touch his forehead and Ken swore that it was the sweetest thing he ever came across.

That's how he fell asleep. In Taekwoon's arms. 

Morning came. He opened his eyes and found nobody there.

The rays of sunshine cut through the blinds and pierced through his skin but after knowing what Taekwoon's warmth felt like, Jaehwan never felt so cold. 

He doesn't exactly know why he loves the elder so much - too much. Ken even thinks sometimes that maybe he should be feeling the exact opposite. Taekwoon has this habit of hitting him in the head, kicking him and showing pure disinterest  but Jaehwan figured that he hates it the most when Taekwoon deliberately ignores him when he speaks. There had been various occasions that this was caught on camera and he sulked on it for days. 

He should hate his hyung. He should hate his hyung for killing him through that stare but he doesn't.

He couldn't.

Because of the way Taekwoon hugs him from his back in the car when the older notices he was hurt, the way Taekwoon looks at him in the eyes when they sing, the way Taekwoon looks down and smiles widely after hearing one of his jokes and just the way Taekwoon is.  As much as Jaehwan wants to hate him, he just can't because he knows that Taekwoon is the only one who understands.

You see, Jaehwan is nothing like Ken. Though he tries to throw in a joke here and there once the cameras are off, he would like to think that he's quiet and reserved. And the real Ken persona can be seen in Sanghyuk. Truth is, Jaehwan is a walking ball of insecurity dressed as a hotshot. Being ridiculed for his nose growing up was a big blow to his confidence. He knows how much it hurts to be discriminated for being a bit different from the others but he's one of the first people to make fun of N's skin. That's how much of a pretentious prick he is when the film is rolling. 

All of this, Taekwoon knows -  understands. No, Taekwoon accepts.

Languor washes over him and he finds the light on the practice room fading to black.

Jaehwan just stays still like that when he heard a familiar singing voice enter the room. Even with his eyes closed, he can picture Taekwoon wearing a black tank top, holding a bottle of water with earphones snaking from his pants' front pocket to his ears. 

"Oh."

He heard footsteps that got louder each second. Finally, he feels fingers running through his hair. He froze as a sigh broke out.

"Jaehwan-ah, why are you sleeping on the floor?"

Jaehwan swears he almost screams when a pair of arms pick him up and carry him to what seems like the black sofa across the mirrors. 

This has become an addition to Jaehwan's list of things that assures him... assures him that maybe, just maybe Taekwoon feels the same way. 

He feels a pair of lips kiss him on the forehead, sweeter than the night he confessed. In that moment, Jaehwan wishes he was always conscious when asleep. The next thing he hears is the sound of piano resonating from Taekwoon's little square and Jaehwan thinks he just might really fall asleep.

Deep inside his heart, Jaehwan believes that Taekwoon loves him too. 

But of course, Taekwoon would never ever admit that. 

This is a pretty short start for me but it's everything I wanted.
To be honest, this was supposed to be a lengthy one-shot but my brain juices told me otherwise. *coughs (keo feels)*
 

I hope you like it. It's spring break and I'll be updating real often. 

Comments are much appreciated. Sending you some love~