He woke up first. He laid there, sorting things out quietly in his head. Memories was blurry, but they got clearer. He adjusted his eyes to the bright room, and felt bad upon seeing her sleeping.

His wrist was bandaged. It felt tight, his fingers were able to move.

Sojung opened her eyes widely and jerked her head up. She couldn’t help but cry again.

Despite his condition, he managed to lean over and gave her a hug. Her eyes were all swollen. He felt bad, but at the same time she looked funny.

Taemin laughed, “You look horrible with those swollen eyes.”

“Look who is talking mister,” Sojung made a comeback. She felt worse than before.

Silence came and stayed in the room. Silence was welcome, but silence should leave. Silence lingered around and its friend, the awkward joined in.

“Mom was relapsing Sojung,” Taemin confessed breaking down the silence, “My mom is a victim of a miscarriage and failed marriage. She has schizophrenia. She thought that the pillow is her son. She thought huyng and I were doctors who want to take her baby away from her, so she carried it everywhere in the house. We could get more than two feet near her, or she would start biting her tongue. Lately, she had been banging her hands on her head, she said it hurts. She grabbed a scissor and tried to cut herself. Unfortunately, I was able to snatch it away from her. I yelled at her Sojung. I yelled at her to wake up, that I’m sick of all of this. Then I slid my wrist with the scissor, and blood spilled and it felt good. She dropped her pillow and screamed. And all I did then was smile at her. I made another horizontal cut and more blood spilled out and she cried begging me to stop. Sojung, she called my name “Taemin”, I think I made I cut myself a few more times then I lost my conscious and fainted.”

    His sentences were becoming lengthier, Sojung had a harder time to follow. Sojung had no idea although she had heard about Mrs. Kim being antisocial.

Taemin laughed sarcastically and his eyes swelled up in sad tears, “You know what is the funny thing about it?”

In silence, Sojung shook her head. “When I fell asleep, she woke up.”

Taemin laughed by himself. Tears rolled down his face. Still he smile despite of the pain.

    

She sat there gazing at him, while he stared at the lightbulbs on the high ceiling. Then after a while, he averted his eyes back to hers. “Jessica noona...she is not is she?”

Who commented that Sojung eyes were horribly scary five minutes ago? Taemin. And he felt like it was gonna be his turn to cry as hard.

She shook her head. “I-I don’t know her condition...I heard that she is hospitalizing in this hospital too, but I haven’t visit her.”

Since the hospital had a rule that allow friends visiting without the permission of their family members, the nurse couldn’t tell them where Jessica room was. With a little effort, head picking from room to room. Jessica was found at last.

She was awake all by herself, upon seeing them entered, immediately she turned to the other side feigning sleep.

Jessica was thin. She was fragile and fatigued.

Jessica was still very pretty, pretty and thin.

She refused to talk. was sealed.

She was in a lot of pain. Jessica didn’t think they would be able to relate. And even if they could relate, she didn’t want pity looks in their eyes.

That was why she avoided meeting their eyes in the first place. “Mind if I tell you a joke,” Taemin said and he took her silence as a no, “...Roses are red, violet are blue. I am loved, and so are you.”

Jessica turned her body and faced them. Tears was evident in her deep brown eyes.

She looked like she just experienced a sleepless night, a sleepless and endless painful tears, and she had been all alone.

Sojung forced out a smile, Jessica smiled back as just as warmly.

“That was not a joke,” she retorted at Taemin, who shrugged carelessly.

Indeed it wasn’t a joke. Taemin claimed it would be a joke in order to grab her attention.

“But you laughed,” Taemin pointed out, “That’s all it mattered right?”

Her smile was very faint, but somehow her friends could tell that Jessica’s mood was becoming lighter. And they glad that Jessica could smile again. She shifted her eyes from Taemin and looked at Sojung now.

Jessica observed Sojung’s feminine figure in silence and concluded, “You look awful.”

“...tired? You should get some sleep,” Jessica suggested caringly.

Sojung made a weak grin and nodded her head. But inside her head she pondered upon why do people in so much pain always place other before themselves.

In discomfort, Sojung felt a hard lump in . She swallowed, “..Jessica I’ll leave you two alone. I need to make a phone call.”

 

As she slid the door, closing it shut behind her there a woman stood like a frozen statue. At first glance the middle age women resembled Jessica. And her complexion told Sojung that she had been crying in secrecy.

“You’re must be her friend,” the woman said with a weak, yet grateful smile, “I’m her mom.”

They sat down on a bench outside of the hospital.

Sad and lonely, Mrs. Jung told her things Sojung didn’t ask for. Mrs. Jung also couldn’t help her tears from spilling, thus Sojung caught the contagious pain and wept quietly beside her friend’s mom.

“...Jessica has cancer, for years now. She got better. They thought she truly recovered, but just last year we came back for a yearly checkup and they found that the tumor in her brain started to grow again...”

  It was hard for Jessica. She didn’t want to hurt her parents or herself one more time having to go with the treatment. Jessica had chosen to take those pills, hoping that she would escape this world in a simple and painless manner. And to die in her sleep, the plan sounded promising to Jessica.

Jessica’s mom finished her conversation with a broken hearted sob,“...Jessica signed the no resuscitated form this morning.”

Sojung hugged her friend’s mother. Wet tears continuously spilling and staining her shoulder. All that Sojung could do was patting the kind woman on the back. In time, the woman would come to respect Jessica’s decision regarding her life, but at the moment the idea had only began to sink in her mind; she would lose her only daughter. For now this pain was too much for her to bare, but give it some time and the pain would lessen.