A/N: HAEPI BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYY, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS FIC I WROTE FOR YOU THAT FEATURES, WELL, YOU!!!!! OHOHOHOHOOHOHO HAhAHAHAH HEHEEHEH OOHOHOHFSHdFHDHNCDS

LOTS OF GAY LOVe, ZEA

*******

The bubble tea shop is crowded today; it’s the holiday season, after all. People clad in knit sweaters and colorful scarves are energetic in the café and are happy for their escape of the cold snow flurrying outside. You wait about fifteen minutes in line before you can finally order your order: one strawberry, one coffee, and one black milk tea bubble tea.

It’s only 12:50 pm, still about ten minutes before the agreed upon meeting time. “Those little ers better be here on time or else I’m going to cut their balls off,” you mutter to yourself fiercely. In the meantime, you pull out your phone to play a satisfying round or seven of Superstar SMTOWN. You’re so into your intense gaming that you don’t even notice when two people appear and sit themselves down at the table with you.

Five minutes later… “AHA, YOUU, I BEAT YOU,” you scream to yourself victoriously before looking up to see the judgmental expressions of the two guys who sat down.

“I see you’re having a lot of fun on your birthday without us,” the suave and handsome tan brunette smiles at you playfully.

“You were really into that game, doncha…” the snooty blonde one smirks and nudges the one beside him.

“Shut up, I bought you guys bubble tea, you ungrateful turds.” You make a face at their rudeness and gesture to the three drinks laid out on the table. You smile at them. “Strawberry for Jongin, black milk tea for Sehun.”

“Thweet,” Sehun says and grabs his drink and starts greedily sipping the life out of the straw and his lips when he broke away. Jongin eyes him up and down and says, “Hey Sehun, why don’t you do that when we’re in the bedroom?”

Sehun almost spits out his drink and starts coughing.

“Oh god, was that comment really necessary, Jongin?” you exclaim and start to pat Sehun on the back from across the table.

“Yeah,” Sehun sputters out, “*cough* I just want to *cough* enjoy my bubble tea in peace without any of your ual interrogations, thank you very *cough* much,” Sehun’s coughing dies down and then he turns to Jongin, “But to answer your question, it’s because I don’t quite enjoy the thought of having a shoved in my throat, hindering my ability to, you know, breathe,” he says.

“But I do,” Jongin declares and is subsequently elbowed by Sehun, who just rolls his eyes.

“Ow, that hurt…. But I like it,” Jongin wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

You cut them off before the conversation goes any further down south. “Okay, okay, let’s not have a lot of ual bantering at the table while we’re at a café, okay? Besides, it’s my birthday, you harlots. Where’s my present?” You glance around the table, looking for any sign of presents to be found.

Jonging passes a sketch glance at Sehun and turns back to you and says, “Don’t worry your pretty little head, it’s back at our apartment. Let’s go back after we finish these drinks,” Jongin says as he promptly picks up his strawberry bubble tea and finishes it off.

You furrow your eyebrows at whatever just conspired between the two and then just shake your head and sip your bubble tea.

****

You and your two besties drive on down to their apartment while jamming to some Girl’s Generation in the car. After being all sowoneul marhaebwa-ed out, you guys switch to Girl’s Day, and you have to keep reminding Jongin that attempting to dance to Something while he is in fact driving a vehicle is never a safe or smart thing to do. Sehun makes up for Jongin’s inability to dance though, and takes it upon himself to dance and somehow he nails the signature moves of Something, regardless of being in a car seat. Skills.

It takes ten minutes to get back to the apartment and when you enter through the door, you immediately plop yourself down on the couch and start petting their little doggie.

“WHOSA GOOD WITTLE DOGGIE, IT’S YEWW YA FAT BROWN FLUFFBALL, YOU SO FUZZ, LET ME HUG YoU,” you coo incessantly towards the mass of soft brown fur that is comfortably nestled within the couch cushions.

“You know, one day I’m gonna just kidnap this dog and I’m gonna feed it and love it and bathe it and - HOLY WHAT THE ARE YOU GUYS DOING,” you scream in surprise when you look up to finD BOTH JONGIN AND SEHUN JUST MAKIN’ OUT BY THE DOORWAY.

Unsurprisingly you get no reply, and they both just continue their makeout session as if you aren’t just sitting on their couch in their apartment. You blush right down to your toes but can’t seem to take your eyes off the BEAUTIFUL SIGHT OF THESE TWO MEN BEFORE YOU.

Sehun, pushed up against the white walls with his arms against Jongin’s chest, their heavy breathing, their entwining tongues as they passionately kiss each other with a heated fervor, the faint grunts and sighs amidst the passionate encounter of lips…

“Um, guys?” you question aloud, wondering if they could even hear you. “I hate to be this weird sorta block after being brought into your apartment for a birthday gift, but… WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?”

Again, they give you no reply. Instead, they stumble their way (still lip locked) towards the couch and fall right next to you. “EEP!” you squeak, as they land only about a half a foot apart from you.

The two boys proceed to slowly take off each other’s shirts, only to latch back onto each other displaying their intense desire for skin contact. Jongin slides his hands down Sehun’s smooth torso, gliding his slender fingertips over sculpted abs. Sehun makes breathy pants as Jongin moves his mouth down from lips to his neck, at an apparent sensitive spot.

“J-Jongin,” Sehun breathes when Jongin’s hands travel below his waist.

You sit there frozen on the couch, stuck between screaming because OH MY GOD TWO BOYS ARE ABOUT TO RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU or screaming and throwing a pillow at them because OH MY GOD YOUR TWO BEST FRIENDS ARE ABOUT TO RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

As you sit there like a stone watching the scene play out before you, Jongin’s eyes flit up for a second to meet with yours and he smirks.

“Happy birthday,” he says sensually before he returns his attention to a needy Sehun whimpering beneath him.

“W-wwh-wh-??????????????????????????????????????????” is the only thing that you could respond with.

No.

Nope.

No.

This is a reality you cannot accept.

JongiN?????

SEhUN???????

Your present it to WATCH THEM ?????????

WHOEVER THE GODS ARE, THEY HAVE FINALLY DONE SOMETHING RIGHT.

THIS WOULD BE PERFECT…. EXCEPT FOR THE FACT YOU CANT BRING YOURSELF TO CASUALLY WATCH YOUR TWO BEST FRIENDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. CUZ THAT’S JUST WEIRD. WEIRDLY WrONG.

You stand up at the speed of light and almost trip over a couch cushion that had fallen over the floor. Just as Jongin begins to unbuckle Sehun’s jeans, you quickly cover your eyes and turn around.

“Uh, well, I.. uh, I’ll come back later, alright? Don’t wanna be a, you know, bother or anything like that.. Hah.. Well.. Bye!” You start to clumsily scramble your way back to the door when you feel someone grab at your arm and pull you back onto the couch.

You turn your eyes around to see Jongin half , lips plumped and reddened from fervent kissing, and eyes half crazed with lust. You shake your head and turn around, attempting once again to leave the apartment.

“Hey,” you hear Sehun speak from behind you. You turn around slowly, reluctantly and see Sehun, disheveled and out of breath. His fierce brown eyes stare into yours when he says, “Join us.”

At this point you stop breathing. Your heart beats a little too fast, your face feels a little too hot. You can’t take it…… It’s too much. You pass out.

You wake up in a bed, disoriented as to why you were laying in a bed when the last thing you remember was-

Oh, . The memories hit you like a brick in the face and you feel like screaming out in regret.

You missed it. You missed the chance to Sehun and Jongin.

~The end~

A/N: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHahHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CAN I PLEASE BE A WRITER HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHAA IM SO FUNNY AHHAHHAH