Jongin did not know what to do after he got that call. He was petrified on his spot, flow of people around him unchanging and still moving but it felt like everything stopped for him. He got a call from the doctor. At first he had this hope that it will be good news, that finally he’s getting better.

 

Before a minute even turned, he quickly ran to his supervisor’s office, panting and sweating, tears on the edge of his lids. He begged, he pleaded because he wanted to- no, he needed to be by his side during this time. The supervisor knew who he was talking about. He understood and sent Jongin away to his lover’s side.

 

Along the way, the heavens might not want for him to be at the hospital. Mishaps happened, there were so many people on the road, he bumped to them, got hissed at and was punched once by a man who he bumped in front of the third shop from his office.

 

He apologized and sped off towards the taxi shed, face stinging at the pain but it wasn’t enough to numb the hurt inside his heart.

 

When he finally got inside a taxi and finally on his way to the hospital, traffic was heavy. His phone rang once again and before it went to the second ring, he picked it up and was already babbling about Kyungsoo’s condition.

 

He’s getting worse, he’s getting worse and he’s still not on his side. Every second he waits inside the goddamn taxi was a second being taken away from him and Kyungsoo. A second that would be too precious to let it wilt.

 

The taxi moved, stopped, moved slightly, jerked, then a complete halt. It was a process that he thought would be endless, and that was before the taxi driver, he saw how pale Jongin was slowly becoming to, so he started to quicken the trip.

 

After the 3rd stoplight, things got easier finally. The car turned towards streets, some time it even went on the opposite road of what Jongin usually take, but the driver assured that he knew a shorter way towards the hospital. He was correct.

 

When they got at the hospital, Jongin paid him and sped off without thinking about the change anymore. He kept on shooting glances at his phone and was wondering why they were not calling him.

 

He buzzed through the door, and took the staircase. His heart was hammering against his chest, his clothes and hair disheveled but he did not care about it anymore. Kyungsoo needed him. He needed Kyungsoo.

 

It was pitiful, really, to see how weak and fragile Kyungsoo was that time. Jongin could still remember the lips of his smiling ever so red, contrast with his skin. How his eyes crinkle as he smiles. He could still remember how strong he was, how every punch was right on the spot and also how his comebacks sting.

 

But now, everything in the past had now left Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo’s bed was just a few steps away. He was there for months now, fighting for his life. He knew that it was inevitable, but Jongin was not ready for it to happen this quick.

 

The doctor tending to Kyungsoo was inside the room, she excused herself to give them privacy and Jongin knew too well that something was about to happen.

 

Kyungsoo was what straightened his life back to the better road. He was there whenever he felt alone, lost and cold. He was the one who gave him cups of coffee during the morning and small kisses at night. He was everything that made Jongin function these past few years. Without him, he’s nothing.

 

Kyungsoo was the reason why they have 3 grown dogs now inside there apartment. He was the one who urged him to take the path that he wanted, to not care about what others say and just give all his best. He was the one why Jongin is Kim Jongin and not some depressed kid. He saved him and its pitiful for him to see Kyungsoo wither and could not be save by him.

 

Every step was hell for him. The only sound inside the room was his steps, the apparatuses and Kyungsoo’s slight inhale and exhale. Jongin wanted to laugh, wanted to laugh at how pathetic his life is. He did his best to wake up in the morning to take Kyungsoo’s coffee. He did his best in school and work because Kyungsoo was there, he was there and he wanted to impress him.

 

A tight laugh came out. It was not the typical laugh of joy. It was a laugh when things were beyond what you can control. Beyond what you can take and most certainly, beyond what you can understand. His hand shot up to his mouth, clenched around his jaw as tears fell from his eyes.

 

Kyungsoo was there, he saw him paler than the last time he saw him, lying on his bed probably dreaming. Kyungsoo dreamed too many times, too many times that Jongin couldn’t even remember them all whenever he chirped about it to him.

 

Kyungsoo was a dreamer, he had a lot of dreams. From being a chef and owning his own restaurant, to trying arts and finally setting up an event for it. Some times he was Superman in his dreams, sometimes Batman, while other times he would be transported to the anime world and would be Ryoma Echizen or a character from a novel he read.

 

Kyungsoo was like that, he was cheerful, cheeky, happy and mostly, healthy. He’s not anywhere near now from the body in front of him. He’s totally different, and Jongin wished that he’s just in a different room and that this was not Kyungsoo. The book on the table broke his hope.

 

It was the very first book that Jongin gave him. He was completely in love with it and now seeing it lying down beside a dying man, Jongin was in pain.

 

“Kyungsoo?” He muttered softly, finally reached his position and clasped Kyungsoo’s hand with his.

 

There was no response. Jongin bit his lips harshly, his tears flowing and he wanted it to stop because; Jongin you look awful when you cry, please smile. Jongin why are you crying? You’re already old so stop that! Jongin, please don’t cry, i don’t like it.

 

“Jongin?” He stuttered, lips rolling and throat dry.

“Kyungsoo, yes i’m here.” He mumbled as he placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand.

“It’s good to hear your voice for the last time.” There’s a chuckle at the end of his voice. He was trying his best to appear cheerful like always, like what he do in front of him every time.

“C’mon Soo, this wouldn’t be the last time. They’ll do everything to give you more time, to give you tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and the day after the day after tomorrow.”

He laughed, Kyungsoo’s laughter rang inside the hollow room. Jongin would’ve laughed along with him if only not for the situation they were in. He loved his laugh more and Kyungsoo knew it.

 

There was a long silence once again, and Jongin hated it because it was such a waste of second. He wanted to hear his voice more, to assure him that he’s still alive, that the source of his happiness was still here.

 

“Jongin.” He whispered. Kyungsoo wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were closed, shut tight. “You’re probably wondering why my eyes are close right?” He chuckled once again and Jongin just wanted to stop him. “It’s so that i could not see you sad. I hate it when you’re sad Jongin, even if its for me. Please don’t be sad.” He begged and that was what set Jongin.

 

“How can i not be sad Kyungsoo! You’re dying! You’re a dying man and you’re everything that i have Kyungsoo! You’re so unfair for living me alone! Why! WHY WHY!” Jongin cried.

 

They were so pitiful. Two hearts were crying and not even one of them can help the situation get any better. It’s already decided that one of these two hearts have to lose its light. It’s already time for the curtains to roll down.

 

“You’re mad. That’s better. Don’t bottle it up m’kay?”

 

“Why are you being like this Kyungsoo? Please don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me!”

 

“Jongin, remember to feed the dogs okay?”

 

“No! That’s your job! Do it!”

 

“Don’t drink too much coffee, it’s bad for you.”

 

“I’ll be missing your coffee Kyungsoo, please stay and make it for me.”

 

“Oh, Chan... Chanyeol and the others, they miss you.”

 

“I don’t care about them Kyungsoo! I’ll be missing you!”

 

“Dress warmly, it’s really cold right now.”

 

“...”

 

“Don’t get yourself sick okay?”

 

“...”

 

“Throw the garbage every Wednesday, wait, i think... was it every Thursday?”

 

“...”

 

“i’m also sorry that i couldn’t grow old with you.”

 

“...”

 

“Jongin, are you still there?”

 

“Y-yes... Kyungsoo, i’m still here.”

 

“Jongin... i guess this will be the end reminder that i have to say.”

 

“W-what is it?”

 

“I love you Jongin, remember that.”

 

Jongin’s body went numb as the slight pressure holding inside his hand slowly died down. He lost Kyungsoo. He lost the reason why he fought for his life, for their life. The reason why he could see a reason to be awake every day. He’s gone. He’s really gone.

 

“I-i love you t-too, Kyungsoo, i really really do.”

 

The door opened and came the doctor again, pulsing Kyungsoo and trying to revive him once again. The nurses held Jongin away from him, he wouldn’t want to let go but they said it was necessary, but it was already over. No matter what they do, Jongin fully knew that on the day of Christmas, Kyungsoo, his beam of light finally disappeared and would never come back again.

 

“Estimated time of death, 2:13 am, December 25th of 2014.” She mumbled, face flushed of energy and hope. It was over. “I’m sorry Jongin, Kyungsoo really fought well.”

 

 

A/N 

Hello! I'm welcoming myself back with a Kaisoo fic! It's been ages since i last wrote something and this was just some kind of out of something fic? yeah and i have a Live Journal account! ask me if you want it!