Yixing looks at the couples in the right side of his view. All the couples acting lovey dovey, the girls do aegyo which left the guys helpless. They smile and laugh together.

And they held hands.

Yixing envies them. He envies them so much. He wishes he and Joonmyun can be like that too. He wishes they can hold and intertwine their hands, hug, and kiss in public. He wants the world to know he is Joonmyun’s, and Joonmyun is his.

But life is cruel, after all. Him and Joonmyun just have to be a member of the famous boy group, EXO. They have to be Lay and Suho and put up fake smiles in every interview, they have to be as good as SM expects them to be, and they have to be the cool oppa all the fans adores. They have to be someone who is not them.

Even though Yixing gathers a lot of courage to confess to Joonmyun (and Yixing thank the heavens because the latter accepts his confession) he can’t do everything normal couples do. Because the community will judge them, despise them, and ruin their career and reputation if they found out.

They can’t even be called a couple. The fact that he has to promote EXO in China, and Joonmyun in Korea made them unable to see each other often. And even if they do, they’ll still be busy with practices, recordings, and interviews.

Joonmyun told him they can’t do too much skinship in public because he’s afraid the fans will know. EXO’s fans always watch them with hawk eyes 24/7 and they never miss every single thing EXO does, making it very risky to do too much skinship.

Yixing is tired. The only thing he’s grateful of from his current life is the fact that he gets too meet Joonmyun and loving fans. He wishes he is not the idol Lay, but just Zhang Yixing, a young man in love with not Suho the leader of EXO-K, but Kim Joonmyun. This will be his eternal wish.

But life is once again very heartless. His wish will never come true.

He knows that fact, but, what’s wrong with hoping ? maybe someday God will pity him and magically grants his wish. But it’s been such a long time of hoping and waiting. It’s getting tiring.

Yixing sighs. Maybe the world is trying to tell him that his life will never have a happy end. Maybe the world is trying to tell him to break it off with Joonmyun. Maybe he is just not suitable to be happy with the man he loves.

All of these things burdens him so much. He always cries to his sleep thinking how much of a disgrace he is to Joonmyun. Which is why he always looks tired and sleepy.

Yixing is about to cry when a familiar voice called him.

“Xingie !”

It’s Joonmyun.

Joonmyun pants, trying to catch his breath and talk again. “Xingie ! I thought you were already in the van ! why are you spacing out ? are you okay ?”

Joonmyun leans forward, his hand makes it way to Yixing’s forehead. Realizing what Joonmyun is going to do, Yixing jolts back.

Joonmyun stops his action, Yixing never avoids his touches before.

“I- I’m fine. I’m just, thinking. Haha ..” Yixing answers and forces a smile. He doesn’t want to worry Joonmyun, he’ll just annoy Joonmyun more, he must not disappoint Joonmyun more than he already has.

But he failed miserably since the tear that threatened too fall was already formed and his eyes is swollen enough for anyone to know that he has been crying.

Joonmyun is surprised. Devastated, even. He didn’t expect to see Yixing in this kind of state. He knows that their relationship is not very well. He knows he is not the best boyfriend.

But making Yixing cry ?

Joonmyun can’t believe he didn’t notice Yixing’s state. He is furious at himself.

Joonmyun pulls back his hand and turned around. A quick “If you’re fine, then let’s go back to the van. Everyone is waiting.” was muttered and he walked back to the van in a pretty quick pace.

“ah- y-yes ..” Yixing answered and immediately followed Joonmyun. He is confused. Why is Joonmyun suddenly became grumpy ? Did he do something wrong ? Did Joonmyun saw that he was going to cry ?

Yixing is afraid this will turn to an argument and they will break up. He can’t handle the feeling of being without Joonmyun. He needs Joonmyun ! He felt his tears is about to fall again when something happened.

There is something warm holding his hand.

Yixing looks at his hand and saw Joonmyun’s hand.

And it is holding his.

Yixing widened his eyes in surprise. Is Joonmyun really holding his hand ? Yixing doesn’t know what word to describe what he’s feeling right now. It felt like butterflies are dancing on a flower field in his stomach.

They went into the van. Joonmyun guides Yixing to sit at the back left corner of the van and sat beside Yixing. He puts his hands on the window behind Yixing, each hand on each side of Yixing’s head. And he crashes his lips on Yixing’s.

The kiss was far from soft and fluffy. After crashing their lips, Joonmyun bites Yixing’s lower lip, asking for an entrance. Yixing opens his mouth and let Joonmyun explore his mouth. They kissed so passionately they let out little moans and pants, but never stopped.

When Joonmyun pulled away, a single string of saliva still connects them and they’re panting heavily. He brushes the saliva and looked at Yixing’s features. Yixing’s beautiful eyes widened because of the sudden kiss (even Joonmyun is shocked with his own action), Yixing’s alluring lips still parted, and Yixing’s cheeks became a deep shade of red. Joonmyun looked at Yixing’s eyes again and notices the multiple bags below them.

Joonmyun leans forward again, making Yixing jerk backward and close his eyes. Joonmyun kissed his eyes and his nose, cheeks, forehead, and lips.

Blood rushes to Yixing’s face, Yixing’s heart beats rapidly, he really need Joonmyun to stop. Yixing puts both of his hands on Joonmyun’s firm chest and slightly pushed him. “J-Joonie .. s-s-sto .. stop ..” Yixing tries to mutter. Thank the heavens Joonmyun stopped after what Yixing said, because if he continues, Yixing will probably faint.

“Why have you been crying ?” Joonmyun said. Yixing widens his eyes. Joonmyun knows ! Is he going to break up with Joonmyun ? “I .. I didn’t cry ..” Yixing said, tears start to form again. “You’re lying to me, Xingie ..” He holds Yixing’s hand. “Xingie .. I know I’m not the best boyfriend for you. I know what we have does not satisfy you. I always saw you watch those couples with envy. I’m sorry I forbid you to show too much affection to me in public. I’m afraid you’ll get fired and we won’t be able to meet again. I don’t want that.” Joonmyun kisses Yixing’s lips again and parted. “But Xingie, when you confessed to me, I was really happy, you know that ? The only reason I accepted your confession is because I love you.”

Yixing is crying again. He can’t stop the tears from flowing. He cups his mouth with his hands. Joonmyun peeled Yixing’s hand from his mout and brushes the tears in Yixing’s eyes with his thumb. Joonmyun smiled.

“So, please don’t cry Yixing. I can’t bear seeing you like this. I love you.”

Yixing tightens his grip on Joonmyun’s hand and faces his head to his lap.

“I-I .. l-l-love .. yo-you, too.” Yixing said, more like whispered as his cheeks turns an even deeper shade of red.

Joonmyun chuckles, his boyfriend is just too cute ! He leans forward for a kiss-

“Uhh, I know this is not the best time but we’re in the restaurant already. Let’s eat, everybody’s waiting for you guys.” Chanyeol says (with his deep and y voice) and got off the van while holding Baekhyun’s hand.

Joonmyun and Yixing looks at each other and laugh. They got off the van hand in hand. In their heads, they vowed to never let go of each other.

Because I will love you till the end of the world.

a/n : *laughs awkwardly* umm, thank you for reading it till the end !

Is it too angsty ? or not fluffy enough ? please tell me in the comments below ~ ^^

upvote and subscribe pliz i'm begging you ! ;_;

Annyeong ! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ ♦♫♦*:..