A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in like two years lmao. I started this story in my free time in sophomore year, but there wasn't a lot of free time. Junior year was hell, I almost never had free time. And now that I'm in my senior year, surprisingly, things are pretty easy as far as my work load goes. So, I decided to start writing again. And thus, new chapter. 

Night time, as expected, brought poor Taekwoon more time dwelling in his nightmares. He tried resisting. After Jaehwan drifted off to sleep, he’d gotten up, desperate to keep himself awake. He’d failed, of course, and finally gave in to his sleepy desires, and ended up in the nightmarish place he’d hated so much.

Alone. He was alone in the room. He was feeling vastly uncomfortable, but he figured that it was better than being surrounded by unfamiliar people. He laid down. After he attempted pinching himself to wake himself up(and failed), he turned toward the wall and just stared. He didn’t even attempt to sleep here. He just wasn’t tired. This dream in particular wasn’t so bad. Boring as hell maybe, but there was no one there trying to talk to him, ask him unreasonable things or tell him things that weren’t true. It was much better.

He heard the door. Maybe he spoke too soon. He closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. Maybe they would go away. A few moments of silence passed.

“Taekwoon. I know you’re awake.” He remained still, not wanting to reply to the man.  He heard the man sit down and sigh. “And even if you weren’t awake.. You need to be. You’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual lately. I’d like to find out why.”

Taekwoon sighed before sitting upright and facing the man, defeated. He now noticed the man’s name tag, declaring him “Dr. Kwon.” There was a growing suspicion in Dr. Kwon’s mind, and he could no longer avoid the subject. “The other day.. did you.. happen to hear a conversation outside of your door?”

Of course Taekwoon knew what he was talking about. How could he forget the simple sentence that had caused him so much anxiety? The phrase that he feared the most. He chose not to give a verbal answer, and simply looked at the doctor, but the doctor knew that he’d heard, to which he responded with a sigh.

“I was afraid of that..” The doctor bit his lip a bit nervously, before very cautiously speaking again. “And.. What you heard. How does it make you feel?”

Taekwoon looked at the doctor, making direct eye contact with him, and making Dr. Kwon feel a bit uncomfortable under his piercing gaze.

“It doesn’t make me feel anything. It isn’t true, I know it isn’t. So there isn’t any reason to let it bother me.”  He hid the fact that it was actually causing him quite a stir of uneasiness.

The doctor sighed slightly. It seemed as if he did that a lot. Despite this, he still tried carrying on a calm conversation.

“And what would you do if it was true?” He looked at his patient seriously.

Taekwoon knew that the other man was not going to go away until he got what he wanted, so he decided to cooperate. Just for now, at least. It was only a dream anyway. It really couldn’t hurt him, he thinks. Sure, it’s not his preferred situation, but he would have to deal with it for the time being. But, should he lie? Should he tell him how he really felt? Looking down at his hands, he noticed he was tapping his fingers against his lap nervously. He decided to answer honestly. There wasn’t a way to hold it against him anyway.

“Probably end up going crazy.”

While he’d decided to participate in the conversation, he kept his answers to a minimum, not going into depth about them. Dr. Kwon was relieved that Taekwoon was answering his question, but was a bit disappointed that he didn’t extend his answer. He’d just have to keep digging.

“And why is that?”

“I don’t think I’d be able to function without him. He keeps me sane.”

The doctor nodded, expecting an answer like that. He pressed further.

“How did you manage to stay sane before you knew Jaehwan?”

Taekwoon faintly remembered the time before Jaehwan. He’d met him in elementary school, so there was only a short period of time that he could use to answer the question. He remembered not ever smiling before meeting him. He remembered how despite his family’s best efforts to get him to have a good time, he just found them annoying, constantly wishing they would go away. And that’s how he first felt about Jaehwan, too. But somehow, the boy he once thought was the most annoying, even more annoying than his family, found his way into Taekwoon’s heart.

You could predict what happened after that. As time went on and hormones came into play, they started thinking about how they actually felt for each other. And though at the time, Taekwoon had been utterly confused and tried his very best to avoid the subject, nothing he’d experienced so far had compared to the relief he’d felt when Jaehwan finally did confess his true feelings.

Throughout all these years, Taekwoon still hasn’t changed. He still gets worried a little too easily, and he still gets a little too irritated with simple things. It’s just the way he’s always been. And it isn’t like he actually hates people, he just finds himself extremely uncomfortable with most people. Like he can’t speak honestly, he can’t be himself. And that is not how he wants to be, so he opts to avoid others. Worst case scenario, he just stays dead silent when they try to speak to him.

Jaehwan helps him. Whenever Taekwoon has to go to appointments, or whenever they have to go shopping, he’s always there. Always right by his side to help him. Whenever Taekwoon is worrying about something or other, or he’s upset about something that happened, he’s always there, always comforting him and always making sure to let him know, in not just words but by loving actions, that everything was going to be okay. It was always Jaehwan.

That’s why he can’t possibly let himself believe that this place is real. He knows his experiences with Jaehwan were not fake. There’s no possible way that they could be. The feelings were too intense, too passionate, too real to pass them off as anything but entirely legitimate. He would have remembered when he was separated from his lover, and why he was put in this place.

He’s been thinking of that, actually. The only explanation for being there would be that... what the doctors had said is true. Taekwoon could barely even think about it without getting the urge to throw up. But he knows. He knows it can’t be real. He would have remembered it happening. Wouldn’t he?

Though showing no physical distress, inside his mind is working in overload to calm himself down and convince him, like he’s had to convince himself several times over already, it isn’t real. And that is when Dr. Kwon snaps him back to the conversation.

“Taekwoon. Did you hear me?”

He nods, then takes a deep breath before answering his doctor.

“I can’t remember before Jaehwan. There isn’t much to remember, anyway. Only me being annoyed with everyone. He didn’t totally change that in me, but he helped me control it more.” His eyes shifted uncomfortably around the room. He’s never opened up to anyone about anything really, especially the intimate thoughts, experiences, and feelings in his life that only Jaehwan could bring about.

The doctor nodded once again, making a mental note to himself that with Taekwoon, patience is key.

“And what about your family? Do you think they have the capability to help you control that?”

Taekwoon shook his head. “No.. They were some of the people that annoyed me the most. I mean.. Of course, I love my family with all my heart, but.. I guess what bothered me about them was how obvious their attempts to make me open up were. Why couldn’t they just, I don’t know. Why did they try so hard to change the way I did things?”

“I’m sure they were just trying to do what’s best for you.”

“Well, I didn’t like it.” Taekwoon sighed, looking down in his lap once again.

There was a pause. Dr. Kwon knew that that was all he was going to get out of his patient about his family. He decided to move on.

“Besides Jaehwan, did you have anyone else you relied on to help you. Not just with dealing with people, but with anything?”

Taekwoon shook his head once again. “No. No one else.”

The doctor nodded for the last time that day, now going and standing up, a friendly smile on his face.

“Well, I think I’ve bothered you enough today. Thank you, Taekwoon.” He turned around and opened the door to his room. “I’ll talk to you later, then.” He exited the room.