"Mister...um...Do?" She fidgets and nervously pushes her hair behind her ears.
I look up from the papers on my desk. I smile, hoping to ease her anxiety. 
"I won't be here tomorrow..." She wrings her hands.
"Don't worry about it," I say. "You can make up your vocab test when you get back."
She nods. "Thank you."
The classroom is empty now.
Time for lunch.
I stroll down the hallway and into the teachers' lounge, then set up shop with the other English teachers. 
We stick together, the English teachers. We are always the ones to get spit on. Of course, not as badly as the arts teachers.
"Hey, you guys," Kai sits down next to me. The young, attractive art teacher is my closest friend at this school.
"I heard about the cuts..." I say slowly.
He shrugs. "It's okay. The kids are fine with buying paint and canvases and stuff. They like doing what they do... It really for the other teachers who can't buy the workbooks or new textbooks they need..."
I nod. "I have a class set of my lit books and my grammar books...some classes aren't as lucky..."
He nods. 
This is Kai's second year at this school. He's only 22, closest to my age (25), so we were automatic friends. We share our awkward encounters of students hitting on us or confessing to us (especially Kai because he is actually a model).
The other teachers leave us to ourselves. 
"So, how did your shoot go yesterday?" I ask.
"Okay, I hope. I have a runway show tomorrow night...plus I have to grade the kids' pieces from last week...wow...and that means this week's pieces are going to either be pushed back or I'll have to stay up all night..." He rubs his eyes. "I like to do too many things."
I nod and pat his back, trying not to linger too long. "If you ever need any help, just call..."
He smiles at me, his eyes tired. "Thanks..."
I've been trying to hang out with him outside of work without straightforward asking him. 
I really really like him.
I'm kind of afraid of him finding out...
The whole school would find out.
It would spread like wildfire.
I would be fired. Too many complaints about a gay teacher.
But I want to be happy. And I like flirting with Kai.
Makes me feel like I got a little bit of game.
"Don't move," he says and pulls out his sketch pad.
He does this a lot. When he gets inspiration, he jots it down.
But it's never been of me.
I stay frozen. Unable to get down all the lines quick enough, he snaps some photos on his phone.
"Okay. You can move now..." He looks at the photos.
"What..."
"You looked...the expression that you had..." He tries to explain it. "Your eyes were telling a story. And your face was calm...inspiration..." He paints a rainbow in the air with his hands.
I laugh. "Thanks? I think?"
"It's good. It's going to happen. Expect to see a painting of your face sometime soon."
I cover my red cheeks with my hands. "Oh god."
The bell rings. "Come on, gotta get to class." He grabs my arm and pulls me to my classroom. He lets me go and waves goodbye.
The place where he touched me still burns. I try not to watch him walk down the hallway, that perfect body of his swaying from side to side.
I go back to teaching about the English language and wasting time talking about deep and meaningful things with my class.
During 6th period, Kai pops his head into my classroom, absolutely beaming. I meet him at the door.
"They sent me my shots. I got called for another shoot based off of these. Thursday afternoon. I'm modeling for Urban Outfitters," he squirms from excitement. 
I stare at him. "Urban Outfitters?! Oh my god!" I hug him. "Send me your shots, okay?"
He nods. "I had to tell you. I just had to. Urban. Urban outfitters!" He hugs me, picking me up and twirling me around. 
I laugh and push him off. The class is staring.
"Get back to work," I say, still laughing. "You have a busy week."
He nods. "My shots have been sent to you. Please enjoy and listen to backstreet boys while you do."
I nod and close myself back into my classroom. "Sorry, class. Now, where were we..." I sit back down in my chair and return to the PowerPoint. "So, the paper will be persuasive..."
Someone is raising her hand. "Yes? Kelsey?"
"Are you and Mister Kim super close?" She asks.
I shrug. "We're friends..."
"What happened? Why were you hugging and stuff?" Another boy asks.
"His other career choice is taking off." I say.
I get an email from him. The notification comes up on my screen as "from: Kai Kai PizzaPie Subject: Kill Shots."
He changes his name in my contacts almost every week. It's gone from Kai Spy with my Little Eye to Kai the Fly Guy. It's become exciting to see what he changes it to. I still don't know how he does it.
"Kai Kai Pizza Pie?" Some one laughs.
I nod. "Oh boy..." 
I would show the kids his shots but I'm not sure if he's fully clothed in these.
"Isn't he a model?" Another person asks.
I nod. "Yea. He's doing well. He's too young to be a highschool teacher. And he's really really good at modeling."
"What about you?" Kelsey chimes in. 
"I have nothing else to do, okay? And I like my job." I fold my arms over my chest. "English is fun. Now let's write a persuasive essay."
The whole class groans. 
"Oh, come on, guys! This is easy! Just convince me as best as you can. Make it like a sales pitch. You can do it. I want the first two paragraphs done by tomorrow," I turn off the PowerPoint and sit at my desk, then open the email Kai sent me.
I was right.
I was very right.
Wow he is barely clothed.
Wow holy wow.
What on wow.
He's wearing skinny jeans in some of the pictures. Underwear in others. His hair is done up really well. He's wearing converse in some, he has a jacket in others. He's biting his fingers or his lips or closing his eyes and damn.
Damn.
I click through the pictures and land on a safe one when a student walks up to my desk. 
"Whoa, is that Mr. Kim?" He asks.
I turn a little pink and nod. In this one, he's wearing skinny jeans and converse, no shirt, an ped hoodie...
It's much...safer...than the others.
"One of the pictures from his shoot yesterday," I say.
"Can we see?" The rest of the class asks.
My stomach churns. I'm afraid some of the students are going to flop all over him...
But they want to see...
I hook my computer up to the projector and hear gasps from the class.
"Oh my god," a girl almost shouts.
"Are there more?" Another girl asks.
I unpulg my computer. "Yes and no. Don't go running to Kai, I mean Mr. Kim, and telling on me. And don't go gaga for him either. He's a teacher. He's a teacher, you guys." I eye them all again. "He's a teacher."
The bell rings. "Remember those persuasive paragraphs. On my desk tomorrow."
The kids file out of the classroom.
Kai squeezes in, still smiling. He stands by my desk and crosses his arms. "What'd you think?"
"Haven't been able to look at them all. A kid caught me," I shrug.
He turns red. "Oh god. Which photo?"
I show him the one. 
He sits and smiles again. "Thank god. Some of those are not appropriate for children."
I laugh and blush madly. It's practically .
"Hey, it got me a big name shoot. Aren't they good?" He asks and scrolls through the pictures on my computer. "This one is my favorite." He pulls up one where he's got his pants ed and he's leaning against a wall, looking down at the floor.
"It just seems like a totally different person." I laugh. Sure, I've seen him in full makeup and hair after a shoot, but his everyday appearance is shy and quiet. His muted buttondowns and glasses paired with his unbrushed hair make him really cute. I'm still not used to seeing y Kai.
"Maybe I should start dressing like that to work," he raises an eyebrow.
"Maybe if you want a flood of confessions and a couple lawsuits. But it's fine with me." I pinch his cheek.
"Oh, Kyungsoo. Not around the children." He flicks my forehead and prances out into the hallway.
I laugh and close those pictures.
I'll be sure to look at them later.
My last class is normal and uneventful. I teach, they respond, I sit down and grade.
After the last bell, Kai pops back into my room.
"Hey, I...um...since I'm really busy this week, I'd like to take you up on that offer to help me grade..."
I smile. "Cool. When and where?"
"I usually go somewhere because I'll get nothing done if I stay home. Maybe...that coffee shop on the corner of 3rd and Main?...at like 4?"
How convenient. It's across the street from my apartment. "Yea. That's cool."
He smiles. "Okay. Awesome." He skips out of my room. "See you in a couple hours."
In a couple hours.
All right.
Baby steps.
This is good.

I get there early, but Kai must've gotten there earlier. He's already chosen the biggest table and has papers spread out across it. 
I pull out a chair to sit across from him, but he waves me over to sit next to him. 
"It's easier this way. Less messing up."
He has hundreds of quizzes stacked up from over the span of several weeks.
"Oh, help," Kai sighs.
I pat his head. "I'm here. Don't worry. We'll be done in no time." I grab a stack and some answer keys and get to grading. Kai buys us coffee and we work for hours, grading and putting in alphabetical order and everything else.
Grading is fun with him. He tells me about his students and his experiences, he randomly hums or sings songs, he gives free grades...
We finish by 8:30.
We sit in the booth and lean on each other, sipping coffee  and trying not to fall asleep.
"I don't know how I would have done all this without you..." He says to me.
I look at him. "It's cool. I'd do it anytime."
He sighs. "I still have to grade the pieces they've created and their sketchbooks." He runs a hand through his hair.
"I'll help you with that, if I can." I pat his leg.
He looks at me and smiles. "It's okay. I think I might be able to get them done."
"Still. If you need anything..." 
He nods. "Thank you."
"No problem." I smile.
He offers to walk me home. I tell him no and thank him, then say goodbye and leave to my apartment.
So I got to spend time with him outside of work. I mean, we were doing school work, but it wasn't actually in the school.
Baby steps.
Any step is a good thing.
Every day I like him even more.
Today was a particularly good day.
The trip home is short and cold, but my mind is overflowing with inspiration for my story. Once I'm inside, I plop down in front of my computer and type up my thoughts. I spend hours fitting my inspirations into my story, and my work progresses incredibly well.
Kai and I are both young. He has his modeling career ahead of him; I feel like I have nothing except for teaching.
I'm love teaching, but I feel like my life is practically decided. 
I always had a dream of becoming an author, but now, as I write and write and work and write, it just seems like I'm not cut out for it. Kai is good at what he wants to do. I'm...not.
There are a couple of things I'm proud of, but my novels always turn out to be...well...ty.
As I brush my teeth and wash my face, I look myself in the eyes; I'm not really sure who I am. For some reason, I can't really believe that this is who I am. I'm a high school English teacher at the age of 25.
Kai makes me feel like there's still something out there, but I keep ruining that by trying...
It almost one now: my usual bedtime. 
I go to sleep with Kai on my mind.

__________________________________

the beginning of my little story...

i don't know how long it's going to be, but it's going to have a few chapters. I'll update soon...

please leave feedback.

Thanks, friend!