He fidgeted through their old belongings. Memories of their old times together flooded all of Wonsik’s senses, almost as if drowning him into an abyss of hopelessness. His scent was still all over everything. His eyes threatened to spew tears at any given second from now, but no. He reprimanded himself. ‘Be strong, Wonsik.’ he thought as he searched around more. It had only been a month since everything happened, and he still can’t accept the fact that the love of his life, Cha Hakyeon, was gone forever.

Kim Wonsik and Cha Hakyeon, two individuals who used to believe that their lives were damned to end up as never-ending chasms of darkness and misery, found the answer to life in each other. Both of them believed in the destiny with strong conviction, and also believed that meeting each other that one rainy day in Seoul at the bus stop and missing the last bus to their stop was also part of the intricate plan that God had wanted them to live out. They also believed that the mere fact that they both loved and enjoyed the same things was destiny working in ways that were beyond their understanding. Everything seemed too complicated to understand, but they enjoyed it. The mere comfort that they brought to each other was miraculous. It all seemed like the perfect storybook fantasy love story they had both been praying for was unfolding and ‘happy ever after’ wasn’t far off, but were they wrong.

Everything happened in a snap of a finger.

It was a dark December night. To make conditions worse, it was raining hard to the point of zero visibility. Debris, debris was scattered everywhere. Ambulances, police cars, firetrucks, and curious by-passers had crowded around where what was once Hakyeon’s car was now lying in pieces and on fire. Apparently, the car he was driving had lost it’s control when it skid over a thin layer of ice and hit an electric post .It was mass hysteria. Firemen were struggling to put out the blazing flames threatening to get larger as time passes. Paramedics were carrying an almost lifeless body of a male in his early twenties to the ambulance. Within a few seconds, a blue haired male had suddenly appeared, rushing towards the body that was being carried. “Hakyeon? Hakyeon-ah! Cha Hakyeon! Don’t you dare give up on me!” Wonsik exclaimed at the now bloodied Hakyeon while holding his hand. Lacking the strength to even reply, the older boy just smiled at the younger lad, tightening his grip around the other’s hand. With that, the medics loaded Hakyeon into the ambulance. Little did Wonsik know, it would be the last time he would be able to see him smile.

Hours passed by with Wonsik waiting outside the operating room, hoping for the best. At long last, the operating room light had gone out. Scrambling to stand up, he ran to the doctor as soon as him and his operating staff had exited the room. “What’s the news, doc?” he asked, with a glint of hope in his eyes. The doctor, whose eyes were downcast, could not even bear to look at him with how eager he looks. “Don’t… tell me… no… that can’t be! That can’t be! Are you telling me…?!” After realising what the almost unpaintable looks on the medical staff’s faces meant, he chocked up. He can’t just sit there and accept that the love of his life, his last hope, his only star, was now gone. Wonsik fell to the ground, gripping his hair, he let out a frustrated cry of defeat. “He… promised…” he said as the tears began to fall, one by one. For the first time in a long time, he felt hopeless, like all of his will to live was drained from him. Darkness was eating him up, once again, and this time, there was no one to save him.

The next few days were the hardest for Wonsik. Relatives from left and right came to his wake, and he had to have the strength to face everyone without breaking down into the absolute mess he was right now. Every time he tried to look at the coffin, he couldn’t help but let the sadness consume him. The once chipper, happy-go-lucky, adorable guy he loved was now reduced to the lifeless corpse that he was staring at right now. He could slowly start to feel the pain of having to life without the person who completed him. How there would no longer be anyone to greet him good morning. How he’ll never be able to see Hakyeon’s smile he loved so dearly. Everything started hitting him like he was a punching bag for a dozen boxers. Reality , and he just wanted to lock himself up somewhere where no one will be able to find him. His heart ached as each second passed. 

Then, the day he dreaded had come. It was the day of Hakyeon’s funeral. It would be truly the last time Wonsik would be able to see his lover’s beautiful face. After this, it would be truly goodbye forever. Even the sky had cooperated with how Wonsik felt today, the rain poured on endlessly, a true reflection of what his heart wanted him to do, let everything out. As the casket was slowly lowered to the ground, he braved everything out, not letting even on tear slide down his cheeks. Dirt had slowly started to fill the hole where Hakyeon now rested. With every thud of the dirt, it echoed in his heart. It hurt him, like a million needles piercing him all at the same time. It was horrible. Everything was horrible.

It took Wonsik all of the remaining strength he had in his body to do what he had been meaning to do for so long. Rummaging through the box that they had so many memories stored in. First date movie stubs, the couple rings they rarely use, petals from that time Wonsik gave Hakyeon a peace offering the the form of a bouquet of roses. Everything replayed in his mind as he silently admired each and every item inside the box. But, one item had struck him. It was the bus ticket from the first time they met. His heart, that was previously ever so still, suddenly started beating irregularly, almost as if signalling him of an impending message that came with finding that pair of tickets.  He felt a familiar pair of hands suddenly wrapping around him, flooding him in the comfort that he was longing for. “H… Hakyeon?” Wonsik asked, in a voice that was barely an audible whisper. “Take care of yourself. I love you.” said a familiar voice. At that instant, the warmth that previously engulfed him suddenly disappeared. Instead of grief washing over his whole entity, he finally found peace. His prayers had finally been answered.