“Let’s pretend I don’t have this kind of feeling...”

To me he is just another friend, he is one of those I need to pamper because I am older to them, but when did that happened? When did it happen that I never see him anymore as my cute little brother but someone I can’t live without, like a person I am infatuated with? When?

“Hyung?” He is Jungkook, he is like a little brother to me. He is good at everything he is doing but there is one thing that he is not good at, he is not good at taking care of himself so I’ve been doing that to him. “Hyung, why are you having deep thoughts?”

I smiled. Did I really fall in love with him? Did I? How? Is it because he is innocent and everyone loves him so much? It can’t be. “Nothing, I was thing about some things...”

“Hyung...” he sat next to me, wrapped his arms around my arm and looked at me with his puppy eyes, is this what made me fall for him? “Can you please... please help me?”

“What is it?” I asked.

“How can I tell someone that I loved that person?”

Right, he is at that age, where falling in love is necessary, where falling in love is a common thing. Too bad, I bet he only thinks of me as his big brother.

~

“Let’s pretend I don’t see him more a friend...”

Whenever I came home I always look for Jin, I know I should respect him and add hyung after his name, but I can’t... putting a hyung next to his name means that I am surrendering my feelings for him, but I call him hyung, as a sign that I still respect him.

“Jungkook, what do you want to eat?” he asked me, looking at him on the kitchen makes me smile, whoever Jin marries in the future, she will be the most fortunate girl. Jin is as perfect as he can be. Too bad, that someone won’t ever be me, because to him, I’m just his cute little brother.

“Anything you want to eat, hyung.” I said.

“That’s not a good answer from a little kid, you should be more distinct at what you wanted to eat.”

Yes, in the end, to him... I’m just a kid. He will never notice it, nor he will take a chance to look at it. After all, I’m just a kid.

“Anything hyung, you are a good chef, everything you make is great...” I said.

I smiled to him, but deep down, I don’t know why am I hurt... is it because I’m just a kid? Or is it because I’m just a kid and he will never going to notice me?

~

“Let’s pretend I don’t find him cute...”

Bambam is just another friend to me, to him I am also a responsible brother, but one day I suddenly woke up having weird feeling for him. I suddenly found myself finding him cute, wanting him to be with me, wanting him to like me, but why? Is it because he suddenly changed from being cute to adorable one?

“Hyung?” he called me, we were playing games at my house. “Why are you staring at the TV, we are about to start!”

“Oh...” I only said. “Yeah.”

To him, I’m his brother, it will never change, because even I did the same, but why did everything change... why to him... why him?

“Hyung... I’m moving out...” I looked at him with a surprised face. “My mother said that we should go back to Thailand... since I have to finish my studies there...”

Yes, a middle school me won’t have any chance against him, we are both young at this time. I can’t make any difference if I act now.

“You’ll be back?” how stupid of me to ask that.

But he smiled to me. “Yes, and when that happened you should still be my hyung okay?”

I smiled. “Of course.” What a liar I can be.

~

“Let’s pretend I don’t feeling c