---

 

Pure black, has it always been like this? Has it? How do I even ended up here? -- that I forgot the strong and bright rays of the sun. That is exactly what she thought with her last breath being stuck on .

I'm no good, I spoiled the ending.  

 

Abandoning your friends has never been easy, and the regret will eat you up. Feeling full of yourself, because you've achieved what you've always wanted, and taking it easy that friends are a hindrance to that achievement.

After receiving many compliments and dominating the top spots, everything fall apart by just one action. 

--

Sitting beside the bed, and a bottle of pills beside her, she has always regretted the decisions she had made the past few years. She resented herself for doing that. Now she've lost both of them. 

And her last though is 

I want to join and apologize to them. I miss them., I miss you.\

 

The story goes way back to went she was 7 years old, reaching the age of 8, or probably still 7 in a half, or so I thought.

 

A swirl of curly black ponytails fly by the wind, as she run from the chaser with the not-so-odd colored hairs. One with the light brown and the other with the brunette. 

A pair of hands creep on her waist and brought her down stumbling on the ground. The light brown boy is huffing his breath out while crouching, looking very tired. As he quoted everyday 'Running is not my forté'.

"Taekwoon-ah, get off .....from her, you're ....hurting....- oh god, I'm so tired ." The crouching boy managed to let out a few words between his pant and the aggresive exhalation of carbon dioxide. - a nasty view to me, you see.

They laughed at the latter and they sat down on the grassy vast field. 

Taekwoon, a boy with the brunette hair push himself off her and lay his back on the floor. 

Untying her hair from the ponytails, she let the wind blew her black hair and the few loose strands. She lay her back flat onto the ground, joining the brunette.

"Jun, come join us." she patted the spot on her right, and he complied.

All three of them stared at the blue sky that are decorated with smokes of white, with a big foolish grin plastered on their faces. No words can describe how happy they are right now - well you know, they are kids..

After some moment of comfortable silence, Jiwon spoke up with the wide grin on her face while tapping her finger on the grass.

"Isn't it great, if all three of us become famous." Jiwon propped her elbow and now she's sitting on the field, and followed by Taekwoon who joined her in the sitting. - and there's left one boy who is so lazy, that he'd rather lay down and just go to sleep.

"Probably, if that won't ruin our friendship, then that will be great." Junhyung mumbled while laying sideways and mumbling incoherent words.

"..um." said Taekwoon while pushing Jiwon to the side so that she will bumped Junhyung in the process. Translation : 'Yup, He's right."

"So, what is your dream job or some sort of like that?" asked the happy-go-lucky-virus Jiwon.

"soccer" Taekwoon smie and falling on his back, meeting the grass again, and he can see Junhyung frowned hearing that. 

"Oh' you want to be a professional soccer player?" Jiwon asked, and Taekwoon nodded.

"Don't laugh. I want to be a model, or probably an actress" she mumbled the last part, but it remained heard by the two boys beside her.

"great!" Taekwoon beamed and Junhyung couldn't agree no more.

"How about--"

"I want to be a composer and a lyricist or an idol." Junhyung cut her off. "-or whatever suits me" 

"Why?" Taekwoon asked.

Junhyung tapped his chin using his index finger, as if illustrating that he is thinking very deeply, and as if a light bulb is above his head, he jerked upward and now sitting leisurely.

"I want to write good musics, to soothe people heart." He smile widely as he looked at his two friends.

"One day, there will be news about the three of us!" She shouted to the sky

"and the three of us will become famous!" continued Taekwoon, the longest sentences that Taekwoon spoke of the day; it's a sarcasm, you guys know that right.

 

The girl rushed to the where the toilet is. Once she reached it, she open the lid of the toilet bowl and she throw everything that she ate for lunch and breakfast into the bowl - not a sight to be seen and be described; her muscles jerk forward as a sign of her violent throw up. Cursing herself for being such a bullimic.

Her knees are too weak to support her entire weight, so she place her body on thetiled floor and her left arm is on the toilet bowl. She close her eyes and exhale deeply, only to repeat the same action several times.

and tears prickled her eyes. Again.

 

"I made it into the tournament!!!" A voice came out of nowhere hollored at th two bestfriends sitting beside the railing of the rooftop of a building.

"Oh my Gos-, Taekwoon!!" Jiwon, who was sipping her strawberry milk while her back faced the door - where Taekwoon just bursted out from; almost spilling the content of the beverages to the person next to her, Junhyung.

"You scared her, and ugh nevermind." Junhyung turn around and shot Taekwoon a nasty look, but soon he realized what Taekwoon has said to them.

"congratulations! Come here you!" Jiwon tackled him into a tight hug.

"too tight.." Taekwoon looked red from Junhyung's view and he silently giggled.

Jiwon pulled from the hug and shoot Junhyung a 'what-are-you-doing' look. 

Junhyung pulled him into a manly hug, while mumbling some sort of crap like 'my son is already grown up' 'my son..' with tears in his eyes, even though it's kind of awkward between the two men.

Taekwoon laughed when Junhyung kept on mumbling and patting his back.

"Says the one who debut first to be an idol." Jiwon rolled her eyes at Taekwoon's statement. Well it's true, Junhyung become an idol at the age of 19.

"Well, life sometimes does not go as we planned, right?" Junhyung smile, and continue "and besides, I get to composed songs and sings them." His smile became wider than before, if that even possible.

"That's true." Jiwon headlocked Junhyung and Taekwoon laughed quietly.

"So, you both are going to get busy after this?" Jiwon pouted.

"yea."

"yes."

"oh." The mood in the private booth of the restaurant suddenly went down at the thought of that they're not going to be together as always.

"I've expected this. " Jiwon sourly smile, making the two guys squirmed in discomfort.

The silence engulfed them, as each and one of them stared at the cold drinks infront of them.

"That is why, you should join the entertainment industry~" Junhyung is the first one to talk after the uncomfortable silence.

"They haven't call me, so I have to wait a few days, and there are many pretty girls auditioning that day." Jiwon sighed and sinked herself on the table. Then suddenly her phone rang and vibrated violently that it create a small termor on her pants pocket.

All three of them panicked and eyes are wide opened upon looking at the unknown number on the screen of her cellphone.

"Answer it!" Junhyung and Taekwoon answered it unison.

Jiwon looked at both of them warilly, and picked up her phone.

"yes, eh, no, uh-hu, yes, hm, sure, of course, what?, ok." Jiwon end the call and placed it on the table.

"Who's that?" Junhyung asked while sipping on his cola, and scrunched his face at the sudden pressure of carbon dioxide entering.

"You should looked at your face first." said a giggling Taekwoon while nudging his rib.

"it's the company I'm auditioning for." Jiwon interrupted them with a scowled on her face.

"and..they say I passed!" Her face changed in a split second from a frowned to a cheerful one.

"yay!" both Junhyung and Taekwoon stood from their sit and tackled Jiwon in a hug.

"papa is so proud of you both" Taking the chance, Junhyung tackled both of them into a tight hug.

"We're not your children, old man!" Jiwon wriggled free from his embrace, and Junhyung pouted like a child missing his teddy bear.

 

Turning on the television, she watched the anchors read the news for that day, and for some reason she has a bad feeling about what's coming on the news. 

--but, nevertheless, she stays and watched the news with a glass of water in one hand, and a bottle of blue pills in the other.

 

24th December 2013.

It became a tradition in every agencies to have one special christmas song released before the day marked 25th of December. 

Taekwoon has taken a break from playing soccer, because of the heavy snowing season, but that didn't stop him from watching soccer game, the news about him being cold, and not talking to his fans became viral month ago. Well, who can blame him, he's a shy person.

The winter season does not stop Jiwon from modelling for Elle, Kwave, Nylon, Bazaar and other magazines -international included; for their releases of winter outfits and goods.

 

"Ok, take five everyone!" The photographer shouted and all the staffs and Jiwon scurried to to take a break from the busy session or having late brunch at 2 in the afternoon. 

Dressed in a thick red sweater with white wrist, overlapping with white dress shirt underneath and a black tight jeans for the photoshoot, she grabbed the thick jacket beside her seating and immediately wear it and dragged herself to the heater. 

"so..cold" she shivers involuntarily.

"Jiwon!" the one in-charge of her make-up and wardrobe called her from afar

"I'm here~" She raised her hand and waved it to her.

The make-up artiste nodded and went to her with a fairly thick folder in one hand and a cup of coffee on the other.

Qien Xie, an American-Chinese mix show her the book and flip through several pages until it stopped on a specific page.

"you'll be wearing this, and this and this" she flips the pages.

"Oh, this one is nice."
"I know right." Qien squeled.

"Ok, back to your positions!" Yelled the photographer after the five minutes break for each of them.

Jiwon went with Qien and changed into the red dress with a reindeer head band, and she bare part of her legs and wear a red and white boots.

They continue the photoshoot until late 7 pm. 

 

-- 

 

10 missed calls. All of it are from Junhyung and Taekwoon. Walking towards the van, she dialled Junhyung's number.

After few rings, instead of Junhyung answering the call, the voice of Taekwoon filled her ear.

"Taek...why are you answering this phone?" Jiwon voice filled with worry.

"Jun, is...Jun is....." the sorrow in his voice made her think twice.

"Taek! What's wrong with Jun??" Jiwon half-yelled inside the van.

"mourning...loss..cola,.pathetic." Taekwoon scoffed and click his tongue. Translation : "Jun is mourning over the loss of his cola, he's pathetic."

"Oh god, you almost ruined my evening. where are you guys right now?" Jiwon sighed aloud and rolled her eyes.

"same place." Jiwon laughed.

"yes yes, the Starlights cafe downtown, I'm going there right now. Wait. For. Me." Jiwon gritted her teeth in jokingly manner.

"yes" Taekwoon ended the call with a laugh and a groaned from Junhyung telling him to shut up.

and so, they spend the night celebrating the eve of Christmas until it was past midnight, and not to forget exchanging gifts with each other.

 

She spilled the content of the white bottle and blue pills came out. She looked at it before clenching her hand and squeezing the pills with it. The fact that everyone now knows who she is, what she does, and what her past is like, terrified her as she feels like her life is being watched and controlled by a mastermind.

Both Junhyung and Taekwoon taught her not to be selfish, and always be the cheerful girl she always was and is, even in her worst day.

She unclenched her fist -

- and looked at the blue pills that matched with her blue paint of her nails. She sighed and face the drawer beside her. She saw the picture of all three of them making derp faces to the camera. 

Of course she remember that day, it was taken on her 15th birthday, 5 years before she joined the modelling industry, 5 years before Taekwoon joined the soccer international team, and 2 years after Junhyung's debut.

She close her eyes again, and this time it was pure white that greeted her. 

What happened to the darkness?

 

"Happy Birthday!!"  confettis popped out of nowhere and almost half of it landed on her face. 

Oh it is 4th of october.

Junhyung and Taekwoon laughed before helping her getting rid of the confettis from her face. 

"You guys..." Jiwon laughed lightly while patting her beige dress. She looked at her surrounding. 

It was decorated prettily with a 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' pink banner, tables of foods and beverages arranged at the end of the room. There are a medium-sized stereo at the centre of the room. - Oh, how she can guess what will happen later on.

Both Junhyung and Taekwoon are dressed in a casual outfit for the party, a pair of knitted sweater and a pair of pants, no need to be fancy. - It is October, the weather is getting chilly as it flew by.

They talked with each other, like they've never seen each other since forever.

The night end with neither three of them getting drunk, Junhyung sipping his cola and hugging the pikachu pillow tight, while Taekwoon humming some song, - which 'I don't know' as Jiwon murmured to him when he asked her to joined and sing with him.

"Junhyung." Taekwoon whispered his name, yet Junhyung still can hear it, because he hummed in response.

"Next month is your solo debut. Aren't you nervous?" 

"What? nah, I'm not that nervous, but when it come to the debut stage, of course I'll be nervouse. So you guys better cheer on me, okay?" Junhyung eyed both of them and Jiwon nodded like a happy puppy, while Taekwoon just nodded lightly with a smile.

"I should be busy checking on the progress of all the musics I've composed, but since it's a special night, I asked the head chief to give me a day-off~"

"you sure?" Jiwon wriggled her eye brow and a reasing smile plastered on her face.

"yes, yes, so now, don't bother me." Junhyung shooed her by making a face and sipped his cola.

Jiwon pouted in response, but still shuffled along towards the forever hungry Taekwoon, - yep, I said it, he was busy stuffing his face with the foods and beverages laying on the table.

 

There was a loud banging on the door of the room she was in. She ignored the banging, just like how she ignored the pain in her heart. The banging sound diminished minutes later as she drown herself in her own thoughts. It was probably her manager or someone who she doesn't care.

 

She has her own little world inside her head. She imagined stuff when the day is wet and arid. The acrid smell of the burned plastic as she accidentally light up a match and in panic, she threw the match, and it land on the plastic that once cover the book. To simply put it into a specific words, she was reading a book for the past 2 hoursuntil her hands unconsciouly light the match

To say she was a nerd, was a wrong thought, she acted like a nerd, but she's not. Does that even make sense? To me it is.

Sometimes each and every one of us need an escape, like her, the book is her colorful escape. For Junhyung it is his musics. For Taekwoon, his escape from the world, are singing and soccer.

It was clear as daylight that Taekwoon love singing, but still prefer to play soccer, anyway, it is his choice, who are they to intervened that.

They're friends. 

I know you guys would say that, but come on, even some friends have this respect over privacy and personal stuffs. right? 

She stared and stared at the book in front of her, solemnly.

Today is her 19th birthday. Today is also the day that Taekwoon officially became a member of the international soccer team for Korea, as he is going to play against the rivaling team from another country.

-- Today is also the day Junhyung and s held a fansigning event at Busan. 

She's all alone. No parents by her side, her only friends are busy with their own businesses. 

She knew that there are secrets between every one of them.

--Just like how she hid the fact that she's been diagnosed with mild depression at the age of 18 and now, still taking the anti-depressant pills. 

Instead of taking the pills yesterday, today or probably tomorrow, she replaced it with coffee. 

The insomnia she keep on having every night is getting worse, she's getting weaker, she's getting thinner. 

Her manager and the make-up artiste keeps on complaining on how skinny she's been getting.

There was some moments where she just want to throw her life away, but the happy faces of her closests friends, prevented her from doing so.

Junhyung, once compared her to a tigress, because when she's angry, she is like a tiger. - such a metaphor.

While Taekwoon describe her like a cat, and she does not know why. He never explains himself, it's not like she feels bothersome about that. She did asked about it once, only to be replied by a blushing Taekwoon and a murmured of "cute."

She laughed. 

-- Again, she's in her own world, people might think I'm crazy. - If there were people here, but there weren't any.

She placed the book that entitled 'Midsummer Night's Dream' down on the floor and grabbed her phone gently as she found it annoying that it was blinking crazily.

There were several Happy Birthdays' , and 2 of it are 'sorry's and such, she can already guess who that are from.

She shut her phone off. Grabbed her thick coat, she ventured out in the cold winter. That is right, her birthday is on the 23rd of December.

 

She shut her eyes tightly and turned off the blaring television that light up the dark room. She really regret switching to the news channel.

She regret it greatly. 

Just when she was about to take her life, one person died. 

One person.

and that person is Yong Junhyung because of a car accident at the snowy road.

She regret it deeply. She throw the pills onto the floor, feeling anxious, she grabbed her black coat and rushed towards the door, not forgetting her purse and car key.

She ignited the engine and pressed on the pedal almost immediately.

On the way to Junhyung's residence, her phone started to vibrate crazily. Jung Taekwoon is trying to contact her, she can sense that. She stop the car at the side of the road, and answer the call.

"Ji, where are you?" Taekwoon asked assuringly and sorrow can be heard behind his voice.

"I'm heading to his house, h-how about you, ah, I can't stop the tears." Jiwon closed her eyes as tears start to stream her face.

"Don't cry, Jiwon, I'm waiting for you here. " Taekwoon voice softened.

 

Junhyung has always been a very close friends of her, more like a brother. He has always been there for her, well somtimes if he's not busy. Once, he even made a song for her sweet sixteen.

He always brought his red notebook everywhere he goes. He said that that red notebook is his thought and where he composed all of his lyrics.

Jiwon accidentally read the content of it - Junhyung strictly warned them not to touch it. She read the first page.

 

With every breath I took;
I shall;
Deliver my feelings.

Its eating me up;
I know he's dying;
I know she sufferred greatly.

How?

I just know.

 

They attend the funeral of Yong Jun Hyung, or Yong Jun Sae, their dear bestfriends. Jiwon, clad with her black outfit with the white ribbon on her left upper arm. Taekwoon is in his black blazer and pants with white dress shirt. He also have the white ribbon. 

Her nose and eyes are red, overall the face is red due to the excessive amount of crying. The snow is piling up the places and everything felt so surreal to the both of them. 

They've always remember that when both of them were engaged in a fight or some sort of useless argument, Junhyung would always be there to stop them. 

Junhyung who would call them his 'children'. Junhyung the happy virus. Junhyung the...best best friends and brother she ever had.

Junhyung is now...he...has dissapear from the face of the earth.

 

 

She didn't know how this happened. She is arguing with Taekwoon over the phone that evening. Taekwoon seems to be ignoring her after the death anniversary of Junhyung.

"Taekwoon, for god sake, please listen to me just this once!" She hollered to the phone and she flinched at her own voice.

"Listen to you?" He scoffed.

"You, who have been clinging to us like a baby? I'm so sick of you." He continued and end the call.

The grasped on the phone she held by her ear loosened and fall to the floor with a dull sound.

-- and, thus, her depression became severe that she might want to consumed the whole bottle of the pill.

 

Later on the next morning, she texted Taekwoon. She feel like she's not herself that morning, and that she does not know that it will regret and kill her later. 

"Let's end our friendship, right here, right now, Don't contact me ever again."

 

Some people, in her university life have asked her a simple question, but are hard to answer. 

"Do you love one of them?" 

She can only answered "yes, as a friend. but mostly its both of them that I love dearly." 

"Not that, silly." that was all what they would said.

 

But now she was confirmed of her own feeling. She love Jung Taekwoon very dearly, not as a friend, but more than that.

 

Days passed, months passed. and it's been already reached two years since the death of Yong Jun Hyung at the age of 27. Both Taekwoon and Jiwon never contacted each other, and they didn't celebrate the thing they used to celebrated when he was alive.

"Where are you when you said that you'll always be here for me? Where are you Taek? Where?" She gulped and gulped a large amount of the blue pills. She have already finished 3 bottles of it in 3 years.

"you promised me." She mumbled sleepily while staring at the window where the snow is falling and hitting her window softly and making the window in its frozen state. - or so. She clearly is overdosed by the blue pills that she even forget that she's the one who end the friendship.

Today is the anniversary of Junhyung's death. There are no news about Taekwoon anywhere, and she is so eager to know his state. Very eager that she went outside wearing a thin dress. 

There are low murmured surfacing about her walking the street with a thin dress, it's freezing cold.

She stopped by the television sets that are being displayed on a shop. It was 9PM, so the news is up.

"Breaking news, Soccer player Jung Taekwoon, alias Leo, found unconscious in his residence. Reporters are trying to break into the hospital to asked for further information, and they've succeed, and a representer for Leo has stepped out with the consented of Jung Taekwoon himself. 

"We won't revealed anything for now, please go back." pleaded the representer. 

Reporters known for the stubborness even backed down hearing the pleading voice of the man in mid 30.

Her minds doesn't process the words being delivered from the televsions to her ears. The coldness of the wind not only numb her legs and arms, but also her luungs and her brain. She gasped for breathe, slowly at first, but as the anchor keep on talking she feels her lungs hurt from trying to inhale as much oxygen more than the body needed.

People around her started to noticed her and are now murmuring slowly while eyeing her. 

"hey, isn't that Kim Jiwon, that model?" obviously, people would noticed her as a model, a mannequin to be exact, just a company tool, not a normal human being.

"Why is she wearing only that? Trying to show-off her body?" someone tsked her, and she couldn't take it anymore, she ran from that place and went back to her penthouse.

She sat at the corner of her bedroom tugging along the blanket of her bed. She wrapped herself and stay inside the blanket for a long time. 

She reminisces the memories of her with the two boys. Her chest tightened and her heart constricted. Suddenly she was having a panic attack.

Despite her eyes running wildly searching for comfort, trembled in fear, her hands shaking crazily and her grop tightened at the blanket, her lungs constricted and relaxed at a great speed due to because of her in need of more oxygen, and because of the adrenaline being pumped into her blood, she managed to stay still at the corner.

She reminisces back at where they went wrong, at where Taekwoon and her went wrong. Was it because of her or him? Has he been hiding the fact that he's sick? Just to make them happy? Or was it because of her, because of her ego, that she placed the blame on Taekwoon without a reson or resons? 

She just doesn't know anymore.

She try to calm herself by thinking a great memories of all of them together, just enjoying each other companies, became her great help of calming her every nerves and muscles. 

She realised that all this while her muscle is so tensed and all of her nerves are reacting to all the tiniest sound inside the room.

She stood up and throw the blanket to the floor, opening the wardrobe and picking a random sweater and a black jeans. She wear the sweater while her night gown still on her. She grabbed her keys and phone with her while holding a pair of boots. 

People might be mistaking her normal upfront faÇade while trying to keep her calm figure, when inside she's screaming for help, screaming in agony, screaming in pain, screaming for company.

 

"Who do you think will be famous first?" A young-baby faced Jiwon in the age of 10 asked her two only friends.

"It obviously will be me!" Junhyung smugly smiled at her and throw his hand up to the air not caring of the bystander or some random kids at the park. Taekwoon scoffed lightly.

"Of course it will be him, look at him, at the age of 15 already so smart with his choice of words." Jiwon rolled her eyes as Taekwoon finished speaking -or rather praising the now cocky Junhyung.

"Oh c'mon woon-ah, you're flattering me." Junhyung playfully push Taekwoon, which managed to bring a smile on his face.

Jiwon smiled at the two while they're interacting with each other.

"--right, jinnie?" Junhyung nudged her while giving her that 'you're siding me, not him' look, Taekwoon only stare at her emotionless.

"U-uhm.." she clamped tight, and spread it into a thin line. She bring forth her fingers onto her chin and with a frown on her face, pretending to think hard.

"See, I told you, she doesn't agree with your way of thinking~" Taekwoon rolled his eyes and grabbed his drink besides him while mumbling 'thank god he did not knocked off my drink, if he does, he'll be dead.' in a very quiet voice, and all of it can be catch by Jiwon's sensitive ears.

"Ah, what a great afternoon to spend~" Junhyung, the talkative one in the group, would never failed to make a smile etched on Jiwon and Taekwoon's face.

Apparently, there's an evil smile on jiwon's face. She snake her arms, carefully cupped Junhyung's drink with her hand, Taekwoon saw it, and decided to joined her by distracting Junhyuung. She managed to take the cup away and hid it. And after that both of them, Jiwon and Taekwoon pretend nothing happened.

"Hey, where's my drink!?" Here come the sassy queen, both Jiwon and Taekwoon rolled their eyes at the now panicking Junhyung.

Junhyung went frantic and went to search for it, with the help of Taekwoon and Jiwon. Jiwon hid the drink under Junhyung's seat, which go unnoticed by him, as he is too busy freaking out.

Jiwon held the drink up and shove it to Junhyung's face, literally to his pretty face, because it's getting annoying to see a dude freaking out while shoving other kids' asses.

"Cola!!!" Junhyung cooed sweetly at the drink, but then an evil smile latched on his face. "papa going to drink you, muahahah!" Bi-polar much? Both Jiwon and Taekwoon though while scoffing at the happy Junhyung.

 

She surpassed the speed limit, not caring of the rules given. She pressed the pedal harder this time, reaching the hospital in a mere 15 minutes, when actually it will took her 45 minutes.

She went to the recepient counter after she parked her car, asking hastily where the patient Jung Taekwoon is resting now. 

"I'm sorry, but I cannot give you any information regarding that." The nurse softly replied. 

"I'm his friend!" She pressed on harder, but the nurse didn't budge.

"Many reporters tried to sneaked in using that. So, any evidence of that you guys are friends?" This nurse is driving her mad, she's in hurry, but this stupid nurse just have to get in the way. Ranted Jiwon in her head.

Jiwon pulled her phone and showed the nurse the picture of them when they were little until they've grown up.

"That might be photoshopped." The nurse simply replied. 

"Oh, that's it, I've had enough of you!" Jiwon yelled, causing several patients and nurses to jumped in shocked.

"Jiwon? What are you doing here?" I turned around and saw Im Ji Hoon, Taekwoon's teammate.

"Visiting Taek, but they won't tell me where he is." Jiwon eyed the nurse in anger.

"She's a friend of Leo, it's okay." Ji Hoon assured the nurse and she nodded. Probably squeling inside because of the appearance of Im Ji Hoon, the handsome, or probably the hottest in her eyes.

"Come, I'll show you to his room." Ji Hoon smile bitterly at Jiwon. She can only nodded looking at the sad gaze he's been giving her.

After a mere turn to the right then to the lft, they have reached to the door plated number 1110. The door slide open revealing a man in his late 40s. Ah its Taek's papa. She thought.

"Jiwon, you came." He sighed in relief. "That boy want to meet you, but then he said he doesn't want to, he is so complicated." Mr.Jung sighed aloud and slumped his weak body onto the chair.

Jiwon pressed her lips into a thin line and braced herself to go into the ward, and not forgetting to bow at Mr.Jung.

She went inside only to see Taekwoon sprawled on the bed with his leg tangled with the blanket and his whole body facing the curtained window directly straight ahead of where Jiwon is standing.

She doesn't trust her voice to speak right now, so she tapped the door twice, but totally get ignored by Taekwoon. She cleared and still no response. So she decided to just went to the side of his bed and tapped his shoulder.

Taekwoon turned and was shocked to see Jiwon inside the room with him, breathing the same air as his. That sound exaggerating, but who cares, why would he care about his grammar, when the woman she loved is in front of him.

Yes, Taekwoon love, love, like love love her. Not as friend but as a woman.

"J-jiwon-ah, what are you doing here?" He looked at the red nose Jiwon, shocked still evident on his face.

"Stupid, I'm here to visit you." She sniffed and wipe her face with the sleeve of her sweater.

"Oh." I can only answer that way, still not trusting my voice, my brain and my heart at the same time. They can deceive you.

"I thought you didn't want to see me ever again." Taekwoon mumbled quietly.

"I'm sorry." Jiwon suddenly feel guilty.

"It's just..the news of Jun's death shocked me. Y-you know that he's like a f-father to m-me." Jiwon trying hard to not stuttered and break down.

"sorry,..everything.."

"Jun wouldn't want us to be like this, so..uhh" The readable atmosphere around them is getting awkward and heavy.

Jiwon can see the Taekwoon is nodding his head.

"So, uh..what happened to you actually?" 

"Hypothermia." A husky voice can be heard behind them. There stood by the door a woman in -probably late 30's carrying a black file and some papers clad with her white coat.

"He'll be fine, right?" Jiwon asked the doctor.

"yes he will, but he need some rest, because he collapsed due to malnutrition and exhaustion."

Jiwon sighed in relief and looked at Taekwoon who is busy fiddling the cupboard for something.

"What are you looking for?" 

"Snacks. I'm hungry." He bluntly replied and continue rummaging the cupboard.

 

After few weeks of Taekwoon stays at the hospital, he finally being discharged. Also on that day Jiwon send aletter to her department of her quitting the model industry. News travel fast that it reached America 4 hours after her resignment.

She received call from Taekwoon. 

"It seems like he heard the news." Jiwon mumbled before answering the call.